anticipation

"You always want what you can't have"
But, I will regret if I never give it a shot, or at least tried my best.

I hope you know what you are doing, Ainaa.
Wish me luck.

I find myself sleeping in unfamiliar places

I find myself sleeping in unfamiliar places;

On the floor,

Where duvets were laid out before.

In a car

While the destination is still too far.

Too late and there is no more bus,

I crash on university couches without a fuss.

On an empty bed

I seek refuge without being afraid.

And lately, just lately,

On a sofa bed I know too well

Huddled underneath a blanket filled with cigarette smell.

'Stragul'

- I'm back in Edmonton after 1 week of vacation in Seattle. This vacation taught me that the power of The Almighty is unstoppable. I feel a pang of sadness every time I see baby clothes strewn around in my friend, Amirah Yong's room, it reminded me of her late sister-in-law and late mother. I can't help but to think what if I lost my mother as well, or my sisters. May the dead always be in Allah's grace, and may Allah always keep my family safe.

- Other than that, being in USA allowed me to buy clothes that were not available in Canada. I finally found the perfect chambray shirt from J. Crew of course, and a shirt from Brooks Brothers (it has darts on the waist but I did not look like I was about to explode. Ahhh, the beauty of a good fitting shirt..) Ralph Lauren was pretty affordable too, so I bought khaki chinos. I find myself stocking up in work clothes for my future career and upcoming intern (boleh lah bekerja dengan bergaya nanti, that's what they said).

- After one week of taking Computing Science 101, I have decided that programming is just not my thing. I can't decide if it is my method of problem-solving, or I just don't have the patience to solve such problems. Well, suck it up Ainaa. Only a few more weeks left for you to 'stragul'.

- 'Stragul' can be defined as 'struggling'. It originated from one of our insider jokes among the students at the U of A. Stragul to get my programming assignment done, stragul to seriously lose some weight by going to the gym every weekday, stragul to spend whatever time that is left with everyone (not just the abang-abang) before they go home or move on for good.

Grasping the meaning of life and death: Humans are more fragile than a piece of glass.

Prayers to a close friend who just lost her sister-in-law, and her mother who is still fighting.
Al-fatihah.