Grumpy

I usually eat three pounds (uncooked weight) of bacon every week, minus however much Wife scarfs down nibbles on while she cooks it and sees to putting it away. Which is probably in the neighborhood of four to six ounces. Pan frying is slow and tedious, so we have been cooking it on foil-lined baking sheets in the oven since before my carnivore journey began. Most of the time, she cooks it in the evening while I’m at work.

I’ve seen lots of videos recently about cooking it in an air fryer. We own an air fryer, so tonight I decided to give that a try. I took the entire twenty-four ounce package, cut the slices into 1½” pieces, and dropped them into the pan. The most common recommendation is to cook at 400° and stir/check every five minutes until it is cooked to the desired level of firmness. I did this, and approximately thirty minutes later, I had a most delicious plate of salty pig fat.

I repeated the process with the second package while Wife inspected and performed quality checks on a few lots of the crispier pieces. You see, she prefers her bacon charred into elemental carbon and little else, while I like mine still a tiny bit bendy. The result contained a range between the two, to which she gave her seal of approval.

Cook time was similar, but cleanup was easier and faster than the baking sheet method. Pour the grease directly into a waiting jar or other collection container for future use, separate the inner and outer pans, use a spatula to collect the tiny bits that didn’t pour out, and then wash normally.

… has repercussions. This is the result of my birthday indiscretion.

Normal fluctuations of a couple of pounds.  Then, a starch-induced spike that took two weeks to recover from. I’m finally making progress again, and while not yet consistently below 200, I have seen numbers starting with a 1 a couple more times since last week’s report. I hope to leave the 200s completely behind in the new year. Which is right around the corner, in case you hadn’t noticed. 

Last night’s flight took me over 400 hours total time. Of that, 250 (okay, 249.2, so almost 250) is in my airplane. Despite weather and maintenance issues, particularly the six weeks of downtime for the fuel tank resealing, and the fact that it wasn’t returned to service following the engine overhaul until late January, I’ve still flown it 85 hours this year. 

First time under 200 since 2008. It was a much-needed psychological victory, but it’s not real. I mean, the reading really happened, but it was Monday morning, after zero food and less than eight ounces of water during the preceding twenty-four hours.

Sundays are normally fast days, often dry fasts. Even when I don’t intentionally go zero water, I never do full, normal hydration. I prefer to avoid the urge to void my bladder during my trip home.

As of today (Wednesday), my weight is 201.2. I hope that I’ll be reliably and consistently under 200 by the new year. 

If my memory is operating properly, forty-three to forty-five years ago, I was in middle school. In either seventh or eighth grade, I took band class. My instrument of choice was the trumpet. I wasn’t very good, mostly because, like with every class, I didn’t do homework. For band class, homework was practice, and I avoided it as fervently as I did all homework. I was second or third trumpet for the single concert that we put on at the end of the year.

Fast forward to Mom’s death last year. One of the items found in with her books and paperwork was my old trumpet music book. I enjoyed a few moments of nostalgia upon finding it, and promptly forgot about it. That was it, or so I thought.

The past month or so, the instrument crossed my mind again a few times. I got to wondering if I could still play. Last week, I found a cheap horn on Craigslist, supposedly new, with an asking price of sixty-five federal reserve notes. I drove up to the Containment Area for Retired Yankees (Cary) just outside of Raleigh and made the purchase.  I’ve since been able to make it make noise resembling musical notes if one is generous with the definition of musical notes.

I’ve been hitting YubTub for tips and lessons, and I am trying to see if I can regain my prowess ineptitude from nearly half a century ago. 

… but still productive and useful. That statement doesn’t apply only to humans. It seems that chicken guts get wrinkled with age, just like human skin. Here is the last two days’ effort of one of my geriatric tiny dinosaurs. 

Fully intact, a bit of a thin shell, but still delicious. 

Yes, more health/medical content. Sorry. I promise I’ll lay off of the subject for a bit after this.

I have finally gotten all of my lab work back. Everything but the lipid panel was back in thirty-six hours. Lipids took over two weeks because they actually forgot to draw that one when they drew the rest, and nobody noticed until they had reviewed everything else and called me to discuss. I had to go back earlier this week for that draw. Doc ordered A1C, fasting insulin, testosterone, CMP, and lipids. There were expected results and some surprises.

A1C was 5.6 pre-carnivore, 5.4 back in May after two months in, and this time around was 5.2. This was mostly expected. I thought maybe it would be less than 5, but 5.2 is good.

My insulin was 4.6, which is a good, low number. No prior measurements for comparison, but with that result, there’s really no need. He’s unlikely to order it or A1C again, absent some reason to suspect an abnormality.

The CMP (Comprehensive Metabolic Panel) was mostly normal but did have some flags. Glucose was 71, which flagged as low with 74 being the bottom of their “normal” range. It is well within the normal range of 55 – 100 for folks not eating carbs, though. Hypoglycemia for non-diabetics is defined as <55, so I’m not worried.

Given those three, I think it’s safe to say that my blood sugar regulation and insulin sensitivity are rock solid, exactly where they need to be.

Another flag in the CMP wasn’t a huge shock, but it does indicate that my electrolyte balance (and hydration as they are related) is slightly less than ideal. This is a common challenge for people on an ultra-low carb diet, but my numbers weren’t really that far off, though.

My sodium was low normal at 139 (136 – 145), and my chloride was on the bottom limit of normal at 98 (98 – 107). My potassium was high at 5.3 (3.4 – 4.9). As salt and potassium tend to balance each other, and since both my sodium and chloride levels were low normal and my potassium was high, I’ll probably start by increasing my salt intake. Which is already ridiculously high by traditional standards. I’ll also push a bit more water, just to be sure.

In addition, my Anion Gap (simply, blood acidity/alkalinity), which was at the top limit at 11 in both previous tests, came in at 13 (1 – 11) this time. Improper hydration in either direction can cause this, so optimizing my electrolytes/hydration should nudge this back into spec as well.

There was another result in the CMP that flagged as slightly abnormal, and that was Bilirubin. Mine came in at 1.1 (0.3 – 1.0), with previous results being more midrange at 0.6 last September and at the upper limit at 1.0 this past May. As it was only slightly over the limit, I’m not going to worry about it right now. It is a liver/biliary system marker, and it could be a touch high from my body, still adjusting to my generally high fat diet, and my experimentation with different fat to protein ratios.

The lipid panel flagged abnormal, but barely, which was the biggest shock of all. I expected massive increases in both LDL and Total numbers. Here are the full trend data. The first number is pre-carnivore, the second is 60 days into carnivore, and the last number is this week’s results, 9+ months in.

LDL: 157, 157, 107
HDL: 46, 39, 52
Total: 226, 219, 187
Triglycerides: 230, 99, 92

All improved, and all in spec except for LDL, which is only 7 points high. I’m very pleased.

My testosterone panel was low normal, but that was expected, given my age. I have no pre-carnivore numbers to use for comparison.

When the nurse called to discuss everything, no mention was made of the electrolyte numbers or the bilirubin, so those are presumably even less of a concern that I had thought when I first saw the results. She only mentioned something that the doc suggested that I try in order to encourage a natural increase in testosterone production, but I missed what it was. Given that I’m experiencing no symptoms of anything that would indicate a deficiency, I’m not going to worry about it.

Next check-up next November. I hope to be at my goal weight by then.

Remember those 103 grams of carbs from yesterday? About six hours after the meal, they settled into my intestines and promptly turned into a brick. Since then, I’ve had rolling waves of the worst cramps and clogged-up feelings of my life. I was able to move enough through the system before bed last night to be able to sleep, but I remain miserable this morning. 

Thus, I vow the following:

I shall never again in my life consume a single gram of carbohydrates that is not naturally occurring in meat or another animal product (liver, eggs, etc.) with the possible exception of trace amounts in spices.

I had thought (and hoped) that perhaps I could have a once-a-year splurge. An occasional treat, like candy, chocolate, or cake, used to be back in the day. But starch instead of sweet – you know, a plate of cheese fries this year, a pizza next year. Obviously, that’s not an option for me. My body seems to have forgotten how to process carbs. That is fine. The transition to nothing but meat has made me the healthiest that I’ve ever been, and I’m going to continue with what works. Even if that means no treats, ever.

I will complete my fifty-fifth orbit around the sun in a few days.  Wife and I went to Outback Steakhouse this morning for a celebratory meal. Unlike previous visits there, when I strayed from carnivore but stayed well within the keto realm, today I took a premeditated jump off the rails. I wanted to have some food that I enjoyed greatly pre-carnivore, and I wanted to see how my body would respond to a significant bolus of carbohydrates after so long without any significant quantity.

I’ll spare you my exact meal details, but I did enjoy it. My macros were:

• 73 grams of protein
• 229 grams of fat
• 103 grams of carbs

After returning home, I had the usual intestinal response to the massively high ratio of fat. Now, several hours later, I have not yet experienced any other effects or symptoms. 

Amusingly enough, that massive amount of carbohydrates is still considered low-carb by many definitions. I doubt I’ve consumed that many total in the last six months combined.

I’ll post an update if I experience anything weird that is likely attributable to the meal in the next few days. 

There are some challenges when one does the world’s greatest elimination diet™. Don’t misunderstand, I still plan to live this way for the rest of my life. I’m down 65+ pounds since February. With 40 more to go, I’m not messing with success. But there are less-than-ideal parts along the way. While shared by many, these are my experiences, and mine alone. Not everyone’s journey is the same. Be advised that parts of this are graphic and unpleasant in nature. If you’re easily grossed out, do not continue reading. 

First is the initial transition from the Standard American Diet or whatever one has been consuming that created the problem that now needs to be fixed. I ignored recommendations to gradually ease into things. Instead, I went from lots of sugar and other bad things to a three-day fast to full carnivore. I didn’t suffer the sugar withdrawal symptoms (often called the keto flu) that many experience. Or maybe I did, but I just didn’t notice. I was too busy dealing with the liquid that was urgently exiting my colon several times during the hour following every meal. It wasn’t diarrhea, really. It was my body dumping the excess fat from my meal plus water from wherever it could find it, with minimal solid content in the mix.

This continued pretty much every meal for two or three weeks. As my body ramped up bile production and got used to the massive quantities of fat that I had begun to ingest, the phenomenon became more intermittent. It still happens occasionally now, nine months in. Once the liver is making plenty of bile, it becomes a matter of balancing the fat to protein ratio. Moderate fat is required to be healthy and successful on a near zero carb diet. Knowing this, and given my all-or-nothing personality, in the beginning, I made sure that I got plenty.

A general rule of thumb is to have at least one gram of fat for every gram of protein. Early on, I probably doubled that. On one occasion, I cooked a pound of 73/27 ground beef in a couple of tablespoons of bacon grease. When it was done, I didn’t drain it. Instead, I topped it off with a couple of tablespoons of butter. I drank the remaining liquid fat after the meat was gone. I’ve learned a bit since then. I’ve found that I do best within ten percent of the recommended 1:1 ratio. Take today, for example. I ate 162 grams of protein and 167 grams of fat. My body’s reaction was a single instance of wet flatulence about thirty minutes after I ate. I’ll eventually get it down to no reaction.

The next big issue is electrolyte balance and maintaining proper hydration. Carnivore forces the body to become fat adapted, which simply means that it uses fat for fuel/energy instead of sugar. Once the stored sugar (glucose) is consumed, the body has no choice but to use fat. It actually does better on fat once it has adjusted than it does on sugar, but it will use any available sugar first. Without the water that hangs out in the body bound to the (formerly stored, now used up) glucose molecules, electrolyte levels become critical. Salt is absolutely essential. I salted heavily prior to carnivore, so I just upped my game a bit and felt  pretty sure I was covered there.

Making sure to get sufficient amounts of magnesium and potassium is also important.  I eat pork regularly and beef liver occasionally, so potassium is abundant in my diet. Despite this, I would occasionally have leg cramps, especially on Sunday night after drinking less than normal in order to avoid needing to urinate while traveling. I suspected a magnesium deficiency and added a daily magnesium malate supplement that provides 140mg of elemental magnesium per capsule to see if that would help. I was prepared to increase that quantity, as the recommended serving size is three capsules.  I haven’t had even a hint of a cramp since, including the occasional days that I do dry fasts.

I’ll do a full write-up on my recent labs after everything is back, but I will share a part that is relevant to the current discussion now. Magnesium is not checked on the standard Comprehensive Metabolic Panel that my doctor ordered, so I remain ignorant of my current level. Sodium, chloride, and potassium all are checked, though. My sodium was low normal, my chloride was at the minimum to be considered normal, and my potassium was a couple of ticks high. It’s possible that the high potassium was caused by a lack of hydration, of which I was unaware.  In any case, I’m definitely getting plenty. It also seems logical that I might need to increase my salt intake, both to help balance out the potassium and to bring both ny sodium and chloride numbers closer to midrange. 

All that to say that I’ve not yet dialed in the whole electrolyte/hydration thing. I feel no symptoms from any lacks or excesses. I drink when I’m even somewhat thirsty, and try to make sure my diet includes sufficient quantities of essential electrolytes. I’ll just keep trying to fine-tune things based on general feelings and body reactions. 

Those are really the only experiences that are in any way negative. I have plenty of strength and energy. I feel better overall than I have in decades. The weight is coming off, with the plateaus that come with every weight-loss regimen. My resting heart rate is in the mid-50s, and my blood pressure averages around 105/70. I haven’t gotten sick since starting carnivore, despite lots of folks in my vicinity already suffering from the usual winter ailments. That, compared to catching everything that got within a mile of me last year, resulting in at least four missed Sundays due to illness. I’ll take it.