I keep fantasizing about kissing you.  Such a seemingly simple thing, but so delicious and fraught with possibilities.

Over and over I imagine what our first embrace will be like.  Will it be in the airport when I go to pick you up?  Holding the silly sign I’ll make with your name on it, like something in a movie?  I imagine waiting for you outside the terminal, the moment when we will lay eyes on each other for the first time – the warm shock of recognition, of strangeness to see slight differences from the way we look on camera.  Will I rush toward you for a hug or wait for you to approach me, bouncing on the balls of my feet in excitement?  More often I imagine us walking toward each other, almost slow motion, slightly shy, sheepish smiles on our faces.  Embracing, almost awkwardly, but melting into each other all the same.  Turning my face to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your scent and reveling in the textures of your skin, your hair, your body beneath your clothes, your breath in my ear.  Backing away just slightly to look you in the eye, smile, and finally, finally touch my mouth to yours.  Gently, sweetly at first, feeling the softness of those luscious lips I’ve been ogling so much of late.  Passion rising almost immediately, after months of waiting and wanting… pressing myself against you, your arms tightening around me and your hands maybe lightly squeezing my softness.  After an endless moment, we will part, both breathing heavily.  Will we smile wryly at one another?  Will I put my hand to your face and look longingly into your eyes?  Will we kiss again, an irresistible compulsion, standing there in a crowded airport snogging like horny teenagers?

Perhaps a hug will be all that we do in that moment, shy boy that you are.  Maybe our first kiss won’t be until later, in our hotel suite, the way that you wrote about it in your letter to me.  Alone in that room, we will approach each other languidly, knowingly, months of frustrated arousal charging the air between us.  Will there be a shock of electricity when our lips meet for the first time?  How quickly will it turn entirely carnal, both of us overwhelmed by lust?  I can never decide how I want it to be, slow and sweet, or raging and feral..  I am sure we will experience interludes of both.

I also imagine kissing you when we arrive at my apartment on your first night in Pennsylvania, alone together for the first time..  I would pull you in the door by your shirt, press you against the wall with my body, feel your erection against my belly and go wild with the lust of it all.

Oh, but I also imagine lying in bed with you, late night or early morning, snuggling and softness and gentle kisses full of tenderness and sweet delight.  Knowing we have all the time we need, in our own little private world…

And then there’s the scenario you described last night..  I can picture it so clearly…  here in my living room, approaching you slowly, knowing smile on my lips..  moving in close to you, almost stalking, until you back into the couch..  I’ll push you down onto it, gently, firmly.. I’ll follow you down, straddling your legs, pressing you into the cushions with the weight of my body.  I’ll kiss you then, brushing my lips against yours, sweetly and slowly at first, but with building passion and intensity.  Oh, I want to do that for hours, savoring every sensation, just kissing you, luscious and hot and wonderful…