…generally brings to mind that face, which would have scared the bejesus out of most of us who watched it. Fortunately, I happened to watch a spoof ahead of the original, so the bejesus stayed put.

Not only did the bejesus stay put, it also ensured that any memory or mention of The Scream only served to make me laugh. As a result, the 5YO even went to school this Halloween in a DIY Scream look, with a blood-stained knife to boot. She was seen pointing that knife at everyone and saying “Happy Halloween!” 😛 A sweet-sounding, cute version of Scream.

But this post isn’t about that scary Scream or this tiny version of that Scream either. This is about a very real one that did indeed scare the bejesus out of us and all sundry! In fact, one that should NOT have happened, for it has scarred me for life.

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It was a peaceful night at the Hobbit House, Munnar. It was my 40th birthday getaway, and since the pyramids were out of the question, I had managed to get myself the next best thing: a day (or three) in the life of a Hobbit 😛

It was the cutest Hobbit hole, and won my heart instantly. Did the same for Hobbes, our 5YO and the Wife! too. We spent the daylight hours lazing around, exploring the resort, clicking random pics and wolfing down some really good food.

Soon, night fell, and along with it, pitch darkness. Mountain side, after all.

I was glad. After such a long time, I’d get to sleep in absolute darkness. For Hobbes to sleep, all he needs is gravity. He can settle down anywhere, anytime, and sleep like a baby. I, on the other hand, need absolute darkness. I also need absolute silence and a fan too. Actually, I need the sound of the wind, so maybe ‘absolute silence’ doesn’t qualify. And of course, I need a bed. In fact, from the time the 5YO was born, we always put her to sleep in a dark room. This was so that I would get mine too 😛 much to my mother’s annoyance. Like, who in their right senses would make a baby sleep in the dark?!

Fine, I digress.

Hours went by, and when bedtime arrived, it was pretty amused to see that Hobbes was already fast asleep. Yet, it lingered around long enough for the 5YO to sleep too…and for the Wife as well (who was on the phone until then, and one with the brightest display-screen ever put on a phone, I tell you!) *rolls eyes*.

As soon as her phone turned dark, I put away mine. I turned on to my right, with my back to the 5YO and Hobbes beyond her. Blanketed in that “mountain” of silence, caressed by the absolute darkness, I gleefully hugged myself, thinking about the amazing sleep I’d have, when…

Aaaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaah!

Fortunately for you and unfortunately for me, sounds don’t transmit on WordPress. These ‘a’s and ‘h’s do sub-zero levels of justice to what it sounded like and did to the rest of us.

My blood curdled, to say the least.
At least, as far as my understanding of a blood-curdling scream goes!

The Wife’s bed was to my right. I knew the screams were coming from her, because I obviously was WIDE AWAKE, having just put my phone away! I called out her name thrice, between those screams, but she continued that bloody scream!

And as I was calling out to her, I was also pushing the 5YO further away and into Hobbes, to ensure whatever was getting at the Wife does not get to the 5YO. While doing that, I was also fighting off possibilities in my head:

• A huge mountain snake that had hitherto been lying hidden under her bed was now strangulating her.
• A wild animal that had sneaked into the room unnoticed had decided to feast on her.
• A thief who had managed to get into the room was trying to kill her, and would kill us too.

I called out her name again, this time with all my courage and strength. And that’s when I myself realised I’d been pretty feeble a few seconds ago.

In parallel, I sensed Hobbes calling out “moley” (assuming the 5YO was in distress?) and then the Wife’s name. I’m assuming he was still in sleep’s grip, coming to terms with the “Where am I, who am I, what the hell is going on?” moment. He managed to jump off the bed and switch on the bathroom light, banging the bathroom door open in the process.

Thanks to his light-and-sound show, the screaming stopped. With a peaceful-that-rapidly-turned-sheepish expression, a just-awoken Wife asked “Oh. Oh!? Was I screaming? That was me?” She looked at our stunned, blood-drained faces, and more sheepishly went “Heee…sawwrryy!”

My heart was thumping away to glory and I could barely hear her. I could see Hobbes looking at her with the most smirkingest smirk on his face. I could also see him mentally clutching his chest in relief for he apparently thought there was a landslide and the Wife was being taken away by Mother Earth. I could also hear the 5YO crying feebly, disturbed by the commotion and all the squishing I’d been doing.

And then in rapid succession, we all got over that bloody scare and started laughing our heads off. Like, how typical that she pulled a stunt like that on us.

Apparently, the madam had dreamt that a huge man was standing over her, about to strangle her…and she was fighting him off. Trust me, if there was such a man for real there that night, he’d have had a cardiac arrest.

Aaaand, she had actually been asleep for at least 30 minutes before The Scream. Just that her phone was up with it’s display on because she, unlike me, cannot take too much darkness 😛 It was when her phone slid off her hands and fell screen-down that I thought she’d just turned it off 😛

Aaaaaaaaaand, after all that, she actually asked me “you’re sure I was dreaming, right?”, making me go “Yes, I was WIDE awake, I KNOW!”

If I remember right, the 5YO and Hobbes managed to go back to sleep in another 5-10 minutes…but the two of us laughed for at least another hour or two (and most of the next two days). Next evening, when it was bedtime, Hobbes remembered to ask her pointedly whether she planned to deliver another round of The Scream before falling asleep 😛

Hilarious as it sounded later, that moment had been absolutely terrifying. And, every time I remember it, I still feel terrified. With all the what-ifs, you know. What if it had been a snake? What if it had been a landslide? Or a wild animal? What if there had indeed been a man in there trying to kill her? We were the only guests in that resort that night. And, no points for guessing that NO ONE CAME RUNNING to check on us despite those loud blood-curdling screams. Screams, which by a mountain-side, must have been barely louder than a mere whisper!)

Long ago, there was a time when I had spent many nights in the Wife’s house in Bengaluru. We still talk about those days: the absolute fun it had been, and how we should do it again. Much as a I still love her, I am no longer sure I ever want to spend another night under the same roof as her 😛