In times

of sorrow,

He draws you back to Him.

I carry your heart with me.

by E. E. Cummings.

I carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go you go, my dear;

and whatever is done by me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;

which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart

(I carry it in my heart)

..the heart aches on this day.

the heart broke a lil for you.

10 years ago, Cia and I were watching Gilmore Girls on Channel5.

I don't think i'll ever forget this day.

I'm sorry i forgot.

I still let myself forget that you have gone home.

It is so much easier.

Being back here, it was so easy to fall back into my own world.

The world where you're just 10,000 miles away.

Cia posted a link on your Facebook wall, i couldn't bear to watch it.

Because i remembered it from a couple years back.

Back when, everything was still bright and shiny.

I miss you so much, words fail me.

13th.

It's July. One year ago, it was the month of too-many-emotions entwined. I believe this year is going to be the same.

Miss you.

A thought came to mind yesterday, I want to help achieve your dream of writing the book. After all, I was commissioned to finish it for you.

You once told me, we should not write a book when we're still fresh in life. Instead, write when we're older and wiser because only then will we have more to offer the world ..with the wise.

Only this time, it'll be in a third voice instead of your own.

So many things you dreamed of, so many things you wanted to see change. Your daughters will strive to carry on your dreams.

Still homesick.

I am at a perpetual state of missing you.

Most times, the heart know not how to respond.

..i was even bargaining for some of mine in exchange for yours,

i still do.

Smaller.

With each dream i have of you,

the smaller you get.

..does that mean that my memories of you are fading?

because memories do fade away.

Missing you, papi.

Two years.

since the first entry of this blog.

So much has happened since. Thinking back, it was pretty overwhelming!

On a summery note, I've been home almost a month now and yet i've done nothing remotely academic related! Yikes. I have to get cracking, like now.

Shall be back soon.