Sophie

I can't believe I am just getting to this and our sweet Sophie has been here for almost 8 weeks!  If you haven't heard, we became a family of four the beginning of January!  Adoption is such a miracle and Sophie coming to our family was nothing less than that.  I know that she was meant to be a part of our family.  It is amazing to look back and see how everything came about.  I know that it wasn't a coincidence but Heavenly Father's hand in our lives.

I am going to put a lot of details for myself in here because who knows when I might get around to writing it again so feel free to skip down to the main part.

We were approved to adopt again May 2011.  We were pretty sure that we wouldn't get placed with as fast as we did with Noah and we were totally okay with that.  Noah was just over a year old and he kept us plenty busy.  I am a planner.  I love making lists and planning ahead.  I am definitely not a spontaneous person.  So, of course, I had a plan.  When Noah turned two, if we hadn't been placed with then I would sign up for Parent Profiles.  Then at some point we would move onto a private adoption agency after a while (around Noah's three year old birthday) if we still had not been placed with.  

Well, Noah turned two and so I started on with my plan.  I set up an account with Parent Profiles.  Parent Profiles is a website that you can put an adoption profile on and then they advertise on many adoption websites so a lot of birth parents are looking on there.  We've had friends have great experiences and some with horrible experiences.  You get a lot of emails and many are real but some of the expectant parents really lead on families so it's something that you have to go into knowing that it is going to be a big emotional roller coaster.  (Bigger than infertility and adoption already are.)  I kept trying to work on our profile but I could never bring myself to do it.  I went back to it every few months but it never felt like the right time.  Months went on and Jon and I both started to feel like we should go back to infertility.  Me feeling like this was what we were supposed to do was a big shock for me.  I never wanted to go back to infertility.  I had felt good about adoption and had no desire to do infertility treatments again.  But, I did feel like this was what we were supposed to be doing so we went to a new doctor (who I loved!) and started going that direction.  The problem was, new issues kept coming up all the time and so we could never really get going.  So, just a few days before Sophie was born I had decided that it was time to press forward with adoption again and maybe infertility would be something we should try sometime down the road.  I talked to Jon about this just a few days before we got the call about Sophie.  For those few days, updating our profile was constantly on my mind.  The day before we got the call, I finally updated pictures so that they were recent pictures of our family instead of from a year before.

Then, at 7:37 am on January 8th, I got a phone call from our caseworker.  (I know the exact time because I looked at the clock before answering and thought she would only be calling that early if it was important.)  She told us that there was a birth mom that I had given birth to a baby girl and had decided to place her for adoption.  She told us a few more details and said that they were going to take a handful of profiles over to the hospital for her to look at and wanted to know if it would it be okay if they took ours.  They would be taking them at 8:30 am so we needed to get back to her quickly.  I called Jon and we decided that we would each think and pray about it and then talk again.  I felt good about it and thought we should move forward and see what happened.  I was pretty sure this was our baby girl but didn't want to get myself to worked up about it.  Usually, I am the one that is freaking out but this time it was Jon.  It was a fast decision to make and a hard one to think about while he was at work.  He decided it was right to see what happened.  I called them back and told them to take the profile to the birth mom.  I had plans to head to my mom's house and so I still went over there and tried to not think about what might happen.  She still was going to look at profiles and might not pick us.  At 11:00 am, our caseworker called and asked if we could come to the hospital right now.  I said yes!  I called Jon and told him to head there too and dropped Noah off at Jon's mom's house.  We talked to Sophie's birth mom.  It was so sweet to hear her tell us her dreams for her little girl, that she wanted her to have a better life than she could give her right now, that she wanted her to have a family who would love her and support her in anything that she wanted to do, that she could have dreams and accomplish them.  The spirit was so strong and Jon and I both felt like this was right.

Her birth mom told us later that she had looked at other profiles and had met with another couple the night before.  She said that she was feeling discouraged and wasn't feeling like she was going to find someone that she really wanted.   When she took us to go meet Sophie for the first time, she said, "You look like a family."    After Jon held Sophie, he said, "Didn't it just feel like you were holding our baby?"  It was a situation that we had to feel good about and know it was right so quickly.  And, for me, all of the confusion about adoption that I had that past year now made sense.  We could not have been talking to any birth mom's from parent profiles or making any other decisions about adoption right then.  Our minds had to be clear to make this fast decision and I absolutely know it was right.  I know that Heavenly Father wanted Sophie in our family.  Just like I know it was right for Noah to come to our family.  I know that all of these things could totally be seen as a coincidence but to me they are anything but that because I know they were not decisions that I was making on my own.  

I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves us each so much.  I am so grateful to be able to recognize his hand in my life.  Things never happen the way that I would choose or think would be best but then after all is said and done I can see that His plan for us is so much better than anything I would ever do on my own.  We are so grateful for Sophie's sweet birth mom and this brave and selfless decision that she made.  We love this sweet little girl so much and are so grateful to have her in our lives!

Adoption Conference and one of my new favorite people

Jon and I went to the Adoption Conference that I had posted about this past weekend.  It was fantastic.  I could say so many things about it but what I would rather tell you about is Saturday's keynote speaker, Meg Johnson.  She is one of my new favorite people and.... I didn't even have the guts to go meet her.  Jon and I both loved her talk.  I told Jon that I wanted to go tell her how great it was but I had, of course, just been crying and crying listening to her and there is no doubt that would have carried right over into talking to her.  Who wants that to happen?  Not me. :)
She is a C-7 quadriplegic, paralyzed from the chest down and doesn't have the use of her hands.  She is a motivational speaker and she was one of the best I have heard.  She was seriously hilarious.  Everyone in the audience was laughing and then crying.  I have been reading her website and blog and I really am so impressed with everything about her.  I just read this post to Jon and we were cracking up at the last line.  I keep racking my brain for a young women event that I can have her come speak at and I can't wait to read her book.
This really deserves a better post. But, let's be honest, I've become a not so great blogger so just go check out her blog or website when you get a minute!  http://www.megjohnsonspeaks.com/ http://megjohnsonspeaks.blogspot.com/

Just in case you wanted to know...

I know that sometimes my friends have referred their friends over to this blog when they are struggling with infertility or are thinking about adoption.  So, if you are one of those people, this post is for you!  There is a great adoption conference coming up in August.  I actually have only been to one before, when I was working for DCFS and we were still trying to get pregnant.  I think it really helped prepare me and help me feel more comfortable with adoption.  So, that's why I'm posting the information on here.  It's FREE this year and it's in SLC (which is why I haven't made it other times because it's been further away).  I am really excited for it and just registered for my workshops.  If you have been struggling with infertility or are wanting more information on adoption, this is the perfect FREE, no pressure way to find out more and hang out with people that understand where you've been.   It can feel like a lonely road sometimes but it doesn't when you know more people that have been through it!  Let me know if you have any questions, the info is below...

LDS Family Services / Families Supporting Adoption

2012 Utah Regional Conference

 “Because I Have Been Given Much. . .”

August 10 – 11, 2012

U of U Institute – Salt Lake City, UT (1780 East South Campus Drive)

Everyone touched by adoption is welcome!

Conference Schedule:

Friday, August 10^th

            8:00 - 8:30       Same day registration

            8:30 – 9:00      Check – in

            9:00 – 10:15    Keynote Address: Mark Glade

            10:30 – 11:20 Workshops

            11:30 – 1:00    Lunch break

            1:00 – 4:10      Workshops

            4:30 – 6:00      Dutch Oven Picnic

            6:00 – 8:00      Service Project

Saturday, Aug 11^th

            8:30 – 9:00      Same day registration / check-in (for those who are attending on Sat. only)

            9:00 – 10:15    Birthmother's Panel, Door Prizes

            10:30 – 12:30  Workshops

            12:30 – 2:00    Lunch break

            2:00 – 2:50      Workshops

            3:10 – 4:30      Keynote Address: Meg Johnson

Registration Information:

            Online:  http://www.regonline.com/utahfsa 

           

            Each conference attendee will need to sign up for the classes he/she wants to attend at the time of registration.  Details and class descriptions will be available on the registration website.  Registration for individual classes is first come, first serve.  Classes will fill up fast, so register early!  

Note: Our purpose in registering for specific classes is to give us an idea of how many people will be attending each workshop so we can put them in appropriately sized classrooms.  Classrooms in the Institute Building are much smaller than classrooms in a conference center.  We encourage you to register early so we can make accommodations to meet your needs.  To ensure getting a seat, please move to your selected classes quickly.  

Dress: Business Casual

Child care: No child care will be provided.  Babes in arms are welcome; please make arrangements for older children.

Meals: Lunch will be on your own.  A Dutch Oven Picnic will be provided on Friday evening.

Friday Evening we will be doing a service project to benefit our local community. We will send more details as they become available.

Questions? Please Contact us at [email protected]

Keynote Speakers:

Mark Glade: Commissioner of LDS Family Services 

Mark H. Glade, current Commissioner has worked for LDS Family Services for 34 years. His assignments have included agency director for five different agencies, including internationally in Birmingham, England. He has been a group manager for the UT South, UT SLC, Europe and Europe East Areas. Before becoming Commissioner, Mark was the group manager over Clinical Support Services. Mark has extensive experience in counseling, adoptive parent and birth parent services, developing professional training programs, and administrative service responsibilities. Mark has received much recognition, including Manager of the Year, The Kaizen Award, and Process Improvement Awards. He and his wife Kyla have six children and three beautiful grandchildren. He enjoys spending time with his family, reading, outdoor activities, sports, and gospel study.

Meg Johnson: Author of “When Life Gets Hard. . .”

Meg Johnson has motivated tens of thousands of people across the globe with her motto: When life gets too hard to stand, just keep on rollin'! Meg fell off a cliff and broke her neck in 2004 and spent four months in the hospital recovering from multiple injuries and returned home without the use of her legs, back, stomach, or hands - a quadriplegic. Wheelchair bound and determined, Meg refuses to sit still. Since she was paralyzed, Meg has competed at the national Ms. Wheelchair America pageant in New York, winning the Spirit Award; founded and directs Ms. Wheelchair Utah; instituted a service outreach program; and authored several books. Her motivational CD, When Life Gets Hard, is available at book stores now. Meg’s newsletter, “Meg’s Monthly Message” is read by thousands in many countries across the globe. Let Meg help you past your own limitations and Keep on Rollin’! 

To learn more about Meg, visit www.megjohnsonspeaks.com

New York New York aka... really long post

I'm not even sure how to summarize our time in New York.  It was a perfect adventure for our little family.  We got to do so many tourist things that we haven't had time for in the past and also got a little bit of a feel for living in the big city.  Our apartment was in the financial district downtown.  At first, I was hoping that we'd be closer to Central Park but I LOVED where we lived.  It is so beautiful and peaceful along the river and it was nice because there weren't many tourists around.  

I put all of my pictures on my computer when starting this post and there were over 800 from the time we were there so I just had to pick a few favorites.

We, especially Noah and I, spent a lot of time playing by the river, looking at the statue of liberty, boats, airplanes, chasing birds, watching people, and letting Noah run all over the place. 

Jon actually didn't work in Manhattan but right across the river in Jersey City.  We were lucky that they still put us up in the city.  The biggest building to the left is Goldman Sachs where Jon worked.

We rode the subway everywhere.  Noah loved the trains.  Getting from place to place with a family would be one of the biggest challenges of living in the city.  I really don't know how I could have done it with more than one child.  I carried the stroller up and down the stairs (which was especially heavy if we had gone shopping or had groceries in the stroller!)

I had to take a picture of this staircase that I had to carry Noah down because it was so long.  Most of the time there were just a lot of short staircases but this one was a subway going to Brooklyn under the river so they just kept going and going.  It wasn't nearly as bad before it started getting hot but once the weather warmed up I always felt like a sweaty mess by the time we got to the train.

We got to go to a lot of museums... The MET, the American Museum of Natural History, the Guggenheim, and the Children's Museum

The new 9/11 Memorial was amazing.  No picture that I have seen has shown how awesome it is.  We lived just a few minutes from there and when you looked out the left side of our balcony we had a great view of the new Freedom Tower.  It was really humbling to walk back to our apartment everyday and look up at that big building, knowing that the towers stood right there, that someone was walking where I was when they came down.  I can't imagine how terrifying that was.

Craig came to visit and we had a great time.  Unfortunately, it was our coldest week there and none of us really came prepared for that cold of weather.  We stuck it out and still rode on the top of the bus tour for as long as we could bear.

Top of the Rock

Rockefeller Center

Sara is living in DC and came down for the weekend.  We packed in a ton of stuff and had a great time!

Dylan's Candy Bar

Serendipity Frozen Hot Chocolate (we got the regular and peanut butter, the peanut butter was hands down the winner.  It was to die for!)

Highline Park

Alice and Wonderland in Central Park

Chelsea Market

The Bronx Zoo

Yankee's Game

Playing in the rain, it rained sooooo much while we were there!

Jane's Carousel....so charming

FAO Schwartz... Noah loved the BIG Piano and playing with the trains

Hanging out on our rooftop, the views were amazing

Statue of Liberty

Ellis Island

Got to see Sarah!  So fun even though it was short!

Manhattan Temple

One thing I'm not sure that I'll ever get to do again is spend hours wandering Central Park.  There is so much to see and Noah and I barely scratched the surface of it but it was so fun.

Other things we did but aren't pictured.... walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, ate so much pizza, shopped, rode the Staten Island Ferry, ate at The Donut Plant, Magnolia Bakery, Bryant Park, Times Square, The Children's Library (that has the original Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals in it), playgrounds, storytime, I'm sure there is so much more that I am missing.  It was a great experience but we were so excited to come back.  There really is no place like home!

In Love

I am so in love with this boy.  I got his two year old pictures taken right before we left for New York.  I wanted to wait until I could get them taken outside.  The scenery isn't too great in February and I didn't feel like studio pictures.

I was not sure how these pictures would go.  It was one of those days where everything was going wrong.  I knew that there was a good chance of rain but had already rescheduled because of weather so I decided to roll with it and picked up some rain attire.  The photographer called to see if I still wanted to come because it was pouring and they weren't sure if they would be able to take their cameras out in it.  I really wanted to make it work.  We got stuck in traffic and were so late, it was pouring, and the whole time driving there I was sure that it wasn't going to end up working out but low and behold, it cleared up enough for some awesome pictures!  They are probably my favorites of him so far.  The photographer was {literally} bouncing off the walls to get these smiles and Noah thought he was hilarious.  They totally capture his personality and he is quite the mama's (and daddy's) boy lately so a lot of people don't get to see it.

I could have posted every single one of them, I loved them all.

Ch-Ch-Changes

A lot has been going on around here.  I guess when you don't blog much you have a lot to update on!  So, here's our lives in a nutshell.

-  Jon got a new job. What's that? Again? Yep, we've been doing that a lot lately, it's true. But this time he wasn't looking for a job, a recruiter found him. It's with Goldman Sachs and was a really great opportunity for him so he decided to see if it went anywhere.  He got the job.
-  His new job required him to go work in New York City for 2 months.  So, of course, Noah and I went with him and we just got home.  That will have to be a post of it's own.
-  My mom and I started a little business back in the fall selling children's clothing and accessories called Lads and Ladybugs.  It's been a really fun little hobby that I can do while still staying at home!  We're doing a couple of shows a year but mostly you can buy our stuff at Meier's Pharmacy in Holladay (4698 Holladay Blvd)  It's a similar pharmacy to Jolley's but even cuter.  They have darling things in there.  We are having a sidewalk sale this Saturday from 10:30-3:00 for anyone that is interested!
-  My dad is moving to Las Vegas for a new job.  I'm a little bit of a mess about it but I think it's a good opportunity for him and I know that it's something he needs to do.  Thank goodness it's only a 5 hour drive and awesome technology!
-  Noah keeps learning and growing.  He is so much fun!
-  We've got a fun and busy summer ahead!

Why blog

The blogging trend seems to be slowing down, don't you think?  My own motivation has dwindled.  I keep a private blog for Noah's birth family and so that has also been a good journal for his life and our family.  But, I wanted to keep this public blog for the sake of adoption.  Mostly, so that any potential birthmom's could get a little better insight into our lives.  I think when we were hoping to adopt the first time, it was also a way for me to feel like I was being proactive in our trying to start our family.  It kept me feeling like I could do something to help.

I have been feeling those pains for another baby lately.  When we got approved again, about a year ago, I was in no hurry for another baby.  In my mind, it was the perfect time to be "hoping to adopt", when we weren't dying for another one just yet.  I thought that hopefully we'd get another baby before I felt that pain in my heart for another one.  And, actually, I couldn't even really imagine what that might feel like because our family was just the way it should be at that moment.  I couldn't imagine feeling baby hungry. 

Our lives are full of joy with Noah and if we didn't get the chance to be parents to any other children, I would truely be content and grateful that we have the chance to be his parents.  But, for now, I don't think that is the case.  I do think that we'll have more children and I feel a lot more patient and trusting in the process this time around.  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family and He knows when the time is right.  And, even though that ache in my heart for a new little bundle hurts, doesn't that make it all the more joyous when it finally happens?

Anyway...back to this blog, so I've just not been feeling motivated to blog here that much lately.  But, then I read a post on a blog that I read by an adoptive mom.  It's just her regular, family blog.  She occasionally posts about adoption and infertility, but mostly just her adorable little family.  And, I was reminded, reading her post, at how much blogs like hers have influenced and helped me when we were trying to figure out adoption and how to start our family.  Most of these blogs, I don't even know the people personally and have never commented on their blog.  They wouldn't even know that I was reading or that it had made any difference in my life.  I should probably comment to let them know that it has.  Because, sometimes hearing about adoption, openness, and other things feel different when you can see that it actually works and leads to wonderful little families.  It can really help people's point of views, at least it really helped me.  So, my conclusion was that I will keep this blog, at least for now.  Hopefully, it does help birth parents get to know us better and maybe it will help someone understand adoption better too along the way.