Years on...

Its been so long since I've last updated this space. Things have changed. Right now as I am blogging I am very very sure that you wouldn't be secretly reading my blog just like how we started off when you didn't know me well enough. Since I've been on a long hiatus, probably no one will remember this space anyway so I guess its a safe haven for me to express my personal feelings that I have been bottling up inside.

I don't understand why we'd end like this. We were so loving all along , feeling so excited to spend each and every moment with each other especially if we have time. like after exams?

I am SUPER SUPER EXCITED TO AWAIT your return from OCSP ever since the day you left. Perpetually going to crazy websites to see if you're plane has touched down. Texting your Mom to tell her you are safe and sound after I managed to contact your leader.There was not even a single day that I did not miss you at all.


Anway, today is supposedly our special day...

Happy 5 Years 6 Months, I never forget. Still loving and missing you every moment. Wonder if you still do.....

Jcsy...

I still love you...

I love you...

what a liar. 

you played me out. -.-

I thought back on what I have done and why do I keep having friends like that. No, I meant why do I not have friends, friends that will share your woes with you, joy, friends who will tolerate your nonsense. Friends that will hang out with you , places you as an important friend, friends that will NEVER MAKE USE OF YOU. Friends that will talk to you and ask you out even when its the holidays. Friends that will not leave you aside even when they have their boyfriends. Friends who will not turn their back on you when you have problems.

Everyone has their little flaws here and there, so do I. Sometimes I say or do the wrong things. So do others. 

I do have a lot of friends. But I can't seem to find friends that I can really say that they are my best friends. Except God. But right now, I could feel the sense of loneliness. I really feel like going out after a tiring week of work and the only person I go out with is my boyfriend. Not that I don't like going out with him, but its different. I don't get to do manicure, haircut , shop for girls stuff with him. One more thing, whenever I quarrel with him, I do not know who to turn to?

I don't get it. Why are we only friends in school and we do not contact each other during vacation? 

Aside from family, work , boyfriend and many "hi-bye" friends, I really wish there is someone that would do things together with me.

My family and my boyfriend will definitely not like to shop around with me, gossip or just complain about things. 

The holiday is like a revelation of where I stand , I began to feel that the friendship I thought was so true was in fact a facade.....

It feels so hurt. I mean I really feel that I have been taken for granted. Why am I so nice? No, why am I so silly????? What's with the bestfriends forever or sisterly thing. I really treat them as one but I guess I am not treated as one. It gets really tiring and upsetting. 

This is such a personal post and I really hope no one will find their way to my blog cause I haven't been updating.

GAHH finally let out all my frustrations for the past week.

Bye.

Hey Bestie , Monster , Wendy!!
Thanks for being through with me all the time during my trials.
I appreciate you a lot <3

I would also like to thank the rest who have lend me your ears and doing your best to cheer me up.

All of you are precious gems <3

Dearest Boyfriend,
We have spent many months together and these were the most wonderful time of my life. You were right there for me whenever i needed someone, you were always the one who brought sunshine back to my life. I regretted those times that were wasted arguing with you over the stupidest things.

However, I would definitely wish you the best and would pray for your safety.
Tomorrow will be the day you'll be enlisting to the army! Aren't you excited! hahaha.You'll be part of Singapore's armed forces! Something to be proud of too! hahaha
Though, it would be a painful experience (cause we spent almost everyday talking on the phone/ most of the time hanging out tgt) to be not able to have you right by my side but remember what we said last time?

Our hearts are linked together :) No matter what, we'll still have each other right?
I love you dearest JCSY.

These 2 years would be able to build up my independence as well as our relationship.
It would also build up your fitness level too :)
Just promise me that you would take care of yourself and have optimal rest and drink loads and LOADS of water.
The weather is so hot, I worry for you.. You always never take care of yourself. Please dont be stubborn :( Dont make me worry and cry...

Best regards from your dearest girlfriend,

Valerie