The Last _ 2012

It is my last post for 2012
It's the end of my 18th years old
They said the sweetest moment is 18th, is it?
To me, 18 is a different year
A different teenage year.

Everything seems to be a fact
yet, I am too reluctant to accept it
or should say afraid :O

I remembered when I was small, I was craving to become at a certain age.
Yet, now as we grow older, we seems to be hesitating for some moments.
Well, to me, 2013 is another year.
I felt the same for 11.59pm in 2012 and 12.00am in 2013

I had a gathering dinner yesterday with Desire & 946
I really can't imagine what we will be after 10 years
Will we gather again leaving no one behind?
or
Having more and more difference in topic to talk on?
There are stil more to be improved in the future.
I really hope those kind of things won't happen again.
It's a matter of planning problem! aizzz

Sorry for those who are reading these
Recently, I just knew that many of you all do read my blog
I knew my blog affects some of your mood, maybe making you all feel down
Well, I am trying to " refurbish " it :P

Perhaps this is life
Having different colourful stories to fill our time

Happy 2013 dear all
I love you all < 3

庾澄慶 - 情非得已

宮崎駿的夢想之城

有時候 幼稚的要求
是因為知道你都會為我做到

─心之谷

有时候，最好的安慰，就是无言的陪伴。

Recently

Although is a bit late,
I would like to congratulate my dearest friends of achieving splendid results in SAM and UEC
You all are awesome !
Well, apparently some might be dissappointed of not having what have expected
but dear all life goes on
It's a chapter of your book but not the whole book

I decided to give myself a break after taking my SAM results
My parents were happier than me, especially my dad
He had never ever putting pressure on me.
On the other words, he told me to do my best

The moment I decided to have a choice
everything doesn't seems to go well.
Perhaps, I might not have faith for that course?

It is not that I being pessimistic
but do imagine I couldn't get in a uni which has a lower entry requirement
yet to say a uni of higher entry requirement
Waiting for my last favourite uni for reply in Jan
I do predicted the results
Well, all the best?
It is quite sad that I couldn't study in Australia like my parents do.
Maybe they are one of the reasons I strongly wanted to go there
The life I have been craving for

There are two choices
I got other courses in Australia in some universities but not the course I want currently
If I damn wanna study in Aus, I would have to take the courses.

However, I really do not know what came to me
Have a sudden strong belief of what I want.
In the moment, I need to apply hk, sg, uk
Tons of stupid application stresses me out!
Meanwhile, I couldn't reject any Uni in AUS
what if there is no university wants me :(

I was scared that I made a wrong choice.
As you said, a small step from now might affect the whole life in the future.
It is just like chinese chess, if you do not have a good start, life becomes harder later.

Anyway, piss off the bad things for a moment
I do enjoy the events this happened this week
It is a Christmas week !
MERRY XMAS

悲

好想崩溃了

眼泪在眼眶打滚

却一再的叫自己不要献丑

要坚强

you

Hoping for you to come back from vacation as soon as possible

YET I am afraid what's happen next

Can I just get my results and leave as soon as possible?

two days left..Are you nervous?

Can anyone tell me which is better?
Iphone 5 or S3? :/

I am so picky!
Aquarius can't decide things which are equally good
aiz~ My parents can't stand my hesitation too

Moments

Trying to understand every moment of what you did

Trying to achieve something which is hard to me

Can I do it?

It took years to become an expert

and I am doing a miracle to be expert in a month?

Angeline, the girl who always give me a helping hand

Velyne, the one who is crazier than me

Have a lots of outings this week.

It had been a week for not eating mom's food.

I DON'T WANNA MISS A THING- AEROSMITH

This is a song that I love so much

It reminds me of every moment and how I really feel

I've miss you

 I could lie awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Well you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
And just stay here lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

[Chorus]
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
Just stay in this moment forever, forever and ever

[Chorus]

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

[Chorus: x2]

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

感触

一些话 我以为我已经没感觉了
但 今天却影响了我的心情
不能告诉别人 我很在意 那些问题
因为我最了解 所以大家都来问我
我都没说
其实心里 已经被划了一刀 再一刀

下午 游车河
一直塞车
因为某些原因
我们和ShitWei 吃饭
还是那么搞笑
但大家似乎都有自己的方向
你说 十年后再 全校Gathering, 行吗？

很享受在ANGEL房
我们的胡闹
我想 我们这种幼稚不知道要几时才会有了
某些人 某些动作 好怀念

晚上
见了一些朋友
似乎是久违的道别
今天 我偷偷地望了每个我认识的人
观察他们
像是最后的永别
但 有缘还是会见的吧！

 对于一些事
我非常后悔
当时懵懵懂懂的我
因为 就是提不起勇气
只要 稍微 一变
我想 结果应该不一样了！

还有几天
人生就要大变

提醒自己
你是我的好哥哥

work

Well, it's an emo day for me
It was the first time I stay serious when I was working in my dad's shop
I can say,
I am a picky person
I don't like clerk work
Business doesn't suit me too

I wanted to help people
but at the same time I need to earn a living too

Anyway,
I was so glad that Dad thought me some of his things

Don't regret
I was telling myself

11 days to enjoy before my Atar is out

Felt better after Y asked me to watch a show
I cant explain the real situation to you
Everything is not that simple like theory

KTM

Remind me don't ever take KTM

Do you know how it feels when your phone is dead and you have no one to contact

You know your friends are desperately waiting for your reply

Well, it is a challenging day

Asking unknown people for their phones

I was so grateful that they had helped me

Imagine those days people without handphones

How they tell each other where they are

I am sorry for letting many people worrying about me

I felt bad

I am really sorry




Suddenly I miss you so much!

Do you really wanna know a girl!

When a GIRL is quiet,

Millions of things are running in her mind
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of
questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around
When a GIRL answers “i’m fine” after a
few seconds,
She is not at all fine
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a GIRL sms’s u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it
When a GIRL says that she can’t live
without you,
She has made up her mind that you are
her future
When a GIRL says “i miss you”,
No one in this world can miss you more
than that.

This is a poem I saw online

I showed to one of my friend

and this is how he replied me

When i am quiet,

Billions of things are running in my mind (Gong sam-ing)

Even I am arguing,

I am thinking deeply

When I looks at u with eyes full of questions,

Im wondering how can you be so noob

When I answers “i’m fine” after a few seconds, (I never fine)

When I stares at you,

Im wondering why you are so noob

When I lays on your chest,

I am chao-ing ur sui

When I call you everyday,

U must be a potato

When I sms’s you everyday,

I am going to bankrupt

When I says I love you,

Please wake me up

When I says that I can’t live without you,

I must be crazy

When I says “I miss you”,

No one in this world can be gay-ier than me.

MIDVALLEY

好久没那么开心了

没想到自己，TOKEN和 ANGEL可以走整天

大包小包 东西都不是卖给自己的

也是我第一次去逛街 吃那么多东西
台湾餐、SNOWFLAKES、DELICIOUS、TONG PAK FU、DELICIOUS 蛋糕

好久好久没那么开心地笑了
真的笑了

谈回往事
都是傻事

笑容總是在相逢後露出 卻又會為了下次的離別感到難過
─崖上的波妞

说不定 我们 很久很久之后才能这样了

谈起未来
还真好笑
有莫名的期待 却带着无比的不舍

无意间看到师妹的po
让我感触很深

 spm的华文题目的第一题就是回家。
简短的两个字，我却想起了许许多多故事。
14岁那年离乡背井到一个不熟悉的地方，17岁这年终于回家。
我本身就是个粘家的人。一年级上学我在学校哭了好几个月都还在哭。
然后，14岁，我去了一个很远的地方读书。虽然不是很远，但还是远。
我以为离乡背井很好玩，好像可以变很独立。所谓独立，就是跌跌撞撞的成长。

飘飘荡荡的过了几年，一年又一年的，我开始成长。
可是越成长就发现，怎么世界越变越多。我开始怀念小时候。
从14岁那年，我就一直希望时间过快点，我要17岁，这样就可以回家。
在外面流浪多年，就会发现家里才是最温暖的。
很多人告诉我，很讨厌在家，很想出国。
我就在心里想，等你体验了就会开始爱上家。然后才发现父母是最好的。
不过当然，人都要离开家的。
4年流浪在外，我回来了。
回来一个真正属于我的地方。继续开始我的人生旅途。
我，也不打算再离开家了;D
我选了离家最近的大学。每天都可以回家了。
我也要修学我最爱的音乐了。

我的未来现在才开始;D
现在我要学习更多的东西;D


Token 告诉我 出国读书没那么好玩
我还是不幸
往往想事情 没那么简单
举了几个例子
我还是坚持我的立场

其实 我也很害怕

但 还是要用正面的态度 去面对

学着 找回自己

 知道那是多么美好的 而清楚自己不可能拥有的心情
想象到吗?


这就是人生

"真正的朋友不會因為你有了新的生活而忘記你只是有時候他們選擇安靜的祝福等待再次的交集
－魔女宅急便"

心情

我有好多好多东西想写
好多好多东西想分享
但 往往都是在脑里想了算了
或是不得空写

结束了两个prom
应该让父母心痛了吧

SILHOUETTE- CH Prom
meaning-shadows

Desktop Screensaver :P

Part of Desire & 946

Casino Royale- Taylor Prom

Me laughing :D
No image :P

My current FB Profile Picture

Part of my classmates :)

Just wanna say I like this picture as it looks so natural
Everything looks so happy
and it is not fake
What happen in that moment? 

MY BELOVED DEAR YAN RU < 2
Part of my < 3 

本想假期 好好找份有意义的工
看着大家 都为自己的假期 打算
我好像又颓废了
答应自己要实行的 却懒惰去做

放下了一些东西
真的 没那么难受了
很想告诉一位朋友
我很明白她的感受
不要脸封闭自己
找些有意义的东西 让生活更充实
你不知道自己的存在对别人来说是多么大的意义

最近
我也担起了责任
为desire & 946 之旅忙碌
不知道为什么
很想为她分担
过去她一人处理，我真的觉得她很强大
我都做到快崩溃了
自己好多事情都不懂


跟叔叔借了三本书
我想我可以转行当导游了
这次 告诉自己不能在懵懵懂懂
很想让你另眼相看

Books I had been reading recently
Trip for Desire & 946

很感谢姑姑待我环游马六甲
告诉我那里那里 好吃好玩
怎样走才是重点

回忆下去年COWBOY gang 去马六甲
还真的让自己难忘
看回旧照片
看回group里面的短片
笑笑下当时傻傻的我们
那恐怖的TRUE OR DARE 我还记得！

傻婆的自己   xD

Satay Celup :P

模仿那些年？

hehe

帅？

扮可爱？

美好回忆 曾经的我们

瞧一瞧日历
她的生日好像要到了
不知道为什么
总觉得很想做一个卡给她
邮寄份礼物给她
虽然很不想再见面
自己还是答应了
这样做 不虚伪吗？

那天 写了一大堆感言
我想我们保持这样的距离最好
很开心 你愿意跟我分享
面对你 只有微笑 但 有莫名的舒服感
无可否认 我是最了解你的人
但 我们都有各自的梦想
我相信缘分
我可爱的 弟弟

很快的
就要步入大学
如你说的 事实
我知道
但 我就是不想接受

家里的事，也慢慢学着做

娶我的人 有够可怜

除了幼稚 还是幼稚

Cleaning

I was cleaning my study room today and I found a lot of memories there

I never know that my study room was a place of GOLD

Now I understand why my mom always nagging me about my untidiness
as well as saying me love to keep rubbish

FYI
I always kept all my tests papers and some books which I loved so much
Upon cleaning, I found my primary school's test papers, projects, essays, exam time tables, letters, etc
Well, I no need mention about secondary school,huh? :P

Looking back my precious essays in primary school, I felt so noob. Haha!
It's good to reminisce what we had done

Also Looking back my results in my secondary school
WOW
I didn't know I was once so hardworking!!
OMG!
It's not so bad than expected! :D

Guess what? I even kept all my art works from form 1-4 :) except for those which had been used for exhibition :O

It's a good memory

My form 1 work :P

my name :O

This was done my cutting the erasers and chop it!

CD cover design

I think I posted this before 

I like the clouds :O

This a bit ulgy =w=

素描

Room Design
透视技术

Human Body (Form 1)

Scenary

My first sketching when I was in form 1

ALPHABETS

CD COVER-KARAOKE

Shoes Design

me, myself (SKETCHING)
Drew in Form 1

Let's compare :P

害怕

总是很害怕

也许现在也开始设想许多可能性

事实上的却很恐怖

不知道会怎样呢

老朋友

今天和一位自己非常挂念的朋友谈天

本以为这些话　年底一次过写在信里交给你

但　自己还是忍不住　说出来了

我想　你应该是第一个鼓励我这样的朋友

其他人都说我疯了

以我了解的你　的却会这样说

或许出现这样的想法　应该是被你影响了　跟你跟太多

这几天都冷静下来了

把不愉快的　都放在潘多拉箱子

牢牢锁住

我已经清楚　自己要什么

理智的　清醒的　知道　所谓的可能与不可能

但愿　十年、二十年、三十年

我们都保持联络

你知道的　你是我一位永远都无法忘记的朋友

深深的烙印在我心

真心的　希望　你永远幸福

找到一位真正了解你的　相信你的　会珍惜你的

帮你分担　那些我们永远都不知道的黑暗

谈着谈着眼泪都掉了下来

不知道为什么　

或许是一种解放

羡慕

看看大家的照片

感触很多

我真的很羡慕你们

那些错过的

我想都无法实现了

但 我不后悔

words

I was quite stubborn when going to bed

Looking at one of my friend's wall

"To allow our journey to progress we must cast certain memories aside. We must break free from the past if we are to enjoy the future." 

quite meaningful :)

Being stupid again

Waiting aimlessly

50 Ways to Say Goodbye

My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized

I'll take the high road like I should
You said it's meant to be
That it's not you, it's me
You're leaving now for my own good


Help me, help me, I'm all out of lies
And ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything

month

Lately
most of my friends are sad
What a stupid month is this

Well
I am not feeling fine too
but I can't tell them that I don't want to listen

Sometimes
I really don't know what to say

I knew you all were sad to be online
I knew you all were there
or maybe avoiding me for questioning
you know I wouldn't

Everything I see reminds me something that shouldn't be here
everywhere I went reminds me the path we walk before

Maybe I am the one still couldn't accept it
although all came in as expected


Oh dear
MY IELTS

Words

Telling yourself not to live under his shadows

He is just one of your chapters but not your whole book

A friend of mine told me this
I hope it helps you

恶梦

还以为 自己已经平复了
这几天的表现都很好
干嘛 不继续下去

闭上眼睛
同一个梦 流入脑里
反复地把我弄醒
很担心又害怕的事实

我这才发现 原来自己
已经到 无法挽回的地步

我告诉自己
一定要努力
道别

流泪

心都在流泪了

有时候自己知道那个事实 却不想面对

找了百般的借口

为了掩饰自己的伤口

我不知道这是好事还是坏事

毕竟 对我有利？

但 我开心不起来

我感受到某个角落心里头的哭泣声

即时 发生什么事都不会告诉人 默默地承受

因为太了解

每一方都是我很在乎的人

我了解 我明白

很想逃

这也是我很想离开的原因

我知道有一天 可能你会浏览

原谅我不能坦白告诉你

因为 我一直都是个胆小鬼

Don't know

Can I act that I don't know?

You never know how I feel

never

你 她

到底自己是在想什么？

又知道不想知道的事

还以为自己已经放开了

你说你已经不是以前的自己

但 我还是过不到心里那关

可能是了解你 更不安

这也是我想离开的原因

但又不舍

心里毕竟都会有私心

如果我们不认识 那该多好

我欠你的 太多了

从不妄想 那一切都属于我

考完试

TANG DANG ;D
很高兴的说
考完试了

不是自己想要的吗？

真的很害怕说再见

是挂念还是不舍？

I WISH

Naramyeon jokesseo geureomyeon jokesseo

Lonely lonely oh saranghaejwo

Deo isangeun honjaigin sirheunde oh woh

I love you

不安

不知道他会不会觉得我们没诚意
我不知道为什么我就是考虑太多
毕竟还是觉得不安

要麻烦到父母更让我不安
感觉显得没诚意

希望他会明白

高三

浏览着面子书
看到朋友们都纷纷放上自己最后一天在中华的样子
真让我想起去年高二的我

去年也是我最后一年在中华了
那时 多么不舍 因为已经确定自己会走

犹记得朋友们、体育出的老师（除了啊懂）：P 都纷纷叫我留下
那是多么不舍啊
高二离校
就注定错过了体验高三中学生涯最美好的
错过了明天的毕业典礼
好想回去。可是现在考试
想像朋友们带上高帽
拿着自己不会有的毕业证书
哈哈
可能很多人哭呢！

有得有失吧
我想 早出来 也好
中华的日子 太美好了
学生们都受保护
出去了 渐渐接触了社会
开始学习 人心

说真的
当时很庆幸 一群中华朋友们
给予我精神上的支柱
当然也有折磨
哈哈 ：P

如果这些事情都不是这样
我想 我还傻乎乎的
哈哈

很期待谁谁谁再办聚会

诶
该从梦醒了
继续读书吧
加油 ：）

last night

I slept early last night
and hope for a better tomorrow

You knew you will kill me
You knew

But I am not blaming you
because that is what I want

I felt quite dizzy today
totally blur
How can I finish my biology and chemistry?

Killed

You killed me many times
Many
But it is my choice
How

This week

Many things happen this week

Finally I finished 3 subjects
2 subjects to go :(

Did I do well?
Sigh
ESL- I didn't have time to check my extended essay respond :(
Maths- I have no idea what I am doing .
Looking at Angeline who can finish in two hours time. I think I screwed :/
Physics- A first I think it was fine but eventually what I think was too shallow. After Y told me everything, I screwed again :(

Looking back at this year what we did

Studying for few months because of these exams

I was so grateful Y send his notes to me
Maybe I was too frustrated :O
He was always helping me these days
How o feel is just like the title of the picture :P

Anyway got a cat from a friend too
Thanks very much
It really does help :)
Maybe It helps when you express how you feel
And the moment you give yourself hope

I can't wait till next wed - the last day of my exam

Well, after that it is like continue my old days as well

Gonna miss them

How good if they can be your family forever :/

Y

"Hard Work win Genius"

Although it is like a definite lose war

because the enemy is too strong

and our own troop is too weak

but you can do a lot of small things which leads your troop has a higher chance of winning

-quoted Y

It is 3am and I don't feel like sleeping :/

Tomorrow is my exam

Excited or Nervous?

Understand

Parents couldn't understand their what their child thinks
Ironically, a child couldn't understand what their parents think too


For once
I was dashed with the thought of earning as much money as I could
Maybe I should consider study a job which can earn a lot of money :/

The old me thinks that money is not so important to me

Maybe I have now evoluted to your world
I remember that time I couldn't understand why money is such important to you all
Now I think I get it.
Perhaps what I am upgrading?

I remember you said
When one is more mature enough
He can visualize the future
Perhaps more than twenty years?

"make sure you're perfect before marriage "


What I think just now is too repay her kindness
Maybe you think that is not worth as she is paid to do so
But she is more than what she is


How I wish time can accelerate to the moment I want

Being independent
Working with my own bare hands

blank

I felt blank
Monday is my first exam and you now telling me try to relax?
I can't, I am sorry, I lied.

o's Hypothesis,
There is a reason behind a person's lazyness :)

How I wish we can be in the same university
Th moment I decided to did what you did
everyone was like giving me negative mind-sets of it
Anyway, just let it be :/

One day we will be busy with our work
and it is a forever GOODBYE

I hope I am luckily by the following two weeks

Future

Today, I wasted my time again
I did nothing
I just don't feel like doing anything

Had a talk with a friend, a friend who really can get along with me

What is future?
Can you imagine when we meet after 10 years?
You said, maybe that time I was studying and working, having a house and a car, and a wife who is pregnant!
I can't stop laughing!

Imagine your close friends are leaving from you to pursue their dreams
The feel that you once look at them small then suddenly grow to become a mature adult
And looking at them getting married..
How would you feel?
Well, I might as well felt dismay to let them go.
How bad I am :/

If you really know your target well, life would be easier.
It is like during the 5minutes reading time, you already can see the answers.
And after the reading time you just need to find a correct space to write them down.

Everyone's aim is the same
Is just like same experiment but different conducting way..

Life only begin when you are in uni and when you get married.

Chaos theory state that a small change in parameter will result in a small change. However every some cases a small change can cause a big change!

Future is chaotic

Frankly speaking, I do quite excited we meet after 10 years.
Who knows how we will be?

最近

最近读书还挺累的
是累还是懒？

我完全没考试的心情，怎么办？
明知道自己心里有目标
却还不努力？

眼看自己好像离目标越来越远

让我温馨的是妈妈
看我读书读到很累 食物都放在我旁边
我想 自己太投入了 没注意到
累的时候 看到 还挺感动的
一杯橙色的萝卜汁和一块cheese蛋糕 足让我感到温暖
我还记得妈妈临走前 我都没看她一眼说再见
好坏

那天Y还告诉我怎样算ATAR
我还真的 什么都不知道
只会想得浅。。
问我一大堆问题
你觉得你这样做值不值得？
你觉得你现在你可以拿到多少%....
怎天就是问我那些让我stun的问题 =w=
有一个人讲我读书是 fat mong！ LOL

我知道自己逼切需要多少
但 为什么又自己发霉了？

关闭自己
是自我安慰？

可能我现在跟Y他们去midvalley看戏会考到更好=w=

好羡慕统考的，明天就考完了！！羡慕死了！

Angeline告诉我一句，" You believe it, you see it, you do it"
Still old Angeline :P

昨天为desire946的东西忙
好怀念那个感觉
嘻嘻

考完试了
我告诉自己要有一个不一样的我
或许很想去一个没人认识的地方重新开始

啊

我在某角落写的东西被你看见了 .__.

还全部留言==

status

What's your intention of posting that status?
Craving someone to concern about you?
Or you just want to make me feel bad?

A status which just open for four of us?
What do you want to say?

I am not that kind who like to ask people questions
If you want to tell, just tell..

I am tired of living in the world where you exists
I am tired of being you friend

You do not know how much scratches you did on me
In the end, I will felt sorry for you and regret of saying things I shouldn't say

Thanks
You took away my mood now

Promise

It is a promise between us
Oh wait! It is a task or a promise?

I don't know why
I really felt like achieving it

You know me well, huh!!
It is a way you designed for me to let me study?
Or just for yourself?

Anyway
one day I will achieve it
And tell you the secret code ;)

It is a hard task but still I really want to try for you :)

I know this is the only way to help you

I hope

although you always perform well than me no matter what :/

Everyone must gah Yao ah!!
7days left !!

Knowledge :/

To understand the knowledge is hard.

Well, I am learning.

like this

so true

HAHAHA
hope so, temporally :/