Of bitchings in blogs

I laughed my head off reading a blog post in a 'friend's' blog some days back. I had to shake my head in disbelief to see the extent to which the English language can be abused in the name of narration in that post. My husband gave a funny title to that particular post and added to my amusement. We still laugh over that post and express our heartfelt pity for such lousy narrator. The chief but shaky purposes of the aforesaid blogpost was to prove a point in self-defense while trying to cover up lies, camouflage one's shameless acts, attempt to show someone in poor light and relate a love-story-all in the most pathetic style of narration. To sum it up, it was an incoherent and unrefined form of bitching! The lesser said about this 'love story of convenience', the better. Delving into the details would be an insult to the genuine ones. One of the most silliest and pettiest acts someone could do would be to use one's own blog portal to bitch about others. It is quite unfortunate that such people make the most sacredly private things public in order to defend their immoral acts of the past. They do a sloppy job of clearing their name in the confidence that 'publishing' in public fora would be the smartest act of self-justification. It certainly is not when you have a lousy command over the language you pick to blog in. I am sure that person in question, doesn't know any other language good enough to even string two words together and make a meaningful sentence. Hence, poor, ever-available English was made the scapegoat! Bitching about others could be the most satisfying experience for some people. But it is more shameful when you are not gifted with a good command over the language to do complete justice to that process, especially when one is narrating something as romantic as a love story with a self-created villain. All that is visible through such 'stories' are depthless dumping of one's emotions. Such blogposts end up becoming jokes in the blogsville and fail to serve the evil purpose for which they are composed. Nevertheless, they become objects of time-pass for people like me and who knows, it could end up in your mail box someday as a funny forwarded message.

Saguaro (sa-WAH-ro)

Photo by Mahesh

The tall, green. succulent arms are everywhere here adorning the golden desert landscape. Their dark-green brooding bodies look like the random strokes of wishful painter on a golden-brown canvas of the desert.These elusive warriors who have long sprouted from the arid earth seem to guard a secret of aeons. Perhaps, humankind would never know their closely guarded secret. These wily conspirators look as if they could besiege you if you trespass into their privacy. Who knows,once upon a time, they would have walked the earth just like the dinosaurs. Unlike the extinct dinosaurs, there is an air of triumph surrounding them giving one the impression that 'I am now here and thriving'. Their other siblings do not seem to add such a mysterious touch to this land. They just exist insipidly amid the other beings.

Their blossoms arranged like a wreath on the crest is a stark contrast to their thorny reptilian bodies. These tiny cream-coloured blossoms lend a childish air to them in spite of the other callous parts of their physiognomy. One needs to approach them as gingerly as possible; not due to what they might actually do (or not do) to you, but due to the preconceived notion they give you about them the moment you look at them in awe. These look creepier at night. If a struggling artist tried to personify night it would look like these beings.

They vanish into the horizon slowly like a mirage when the ground raises and the very air and land once their friend, becomes their enemy. Wonder what God had in mind when He set to create these mysteriously interesting form of life on earth!

These serpentine beings stand in mute testimony to the changes happening around them. They brood all day and night, plotting something which they would do when the world would think about stopping its existence after growing very very old.This jewel of the Sonoran desert has arms that seem to gesture you against the merciless Arizonan sun trying to convey a million things at a time. No one, I suppose, has been able to understand their mysterious language.I think no one ever will!

Seeking grooms resembling Shah Rukh Khan- others excuse!

My fingers have been itching to write this out and try to make a cameo appearance in my neglected blog space. A few days back, I was browsing a popular matrimony website and was extremely amused to find an option that helped one find a match that resembled a celebrity! I found a list of amateur celebrity sketches specific to the region in that popular website. The celebrity-sketches are grouped region-wise. Of course the celebrity-list is dominated by the members of the film industry . There are also some from the world of sports. It was hard to keep a straight face when I saw Karsan Bhai Patel and Himesh Reshmiya on the list of resemblance-worthy celebrities.

If someone wants to find a soul mate who resembles Aishwarya Rai, he has to go the Hindi section of this portal , choose Ash's picture and voila! a long list of girls 'resembling' Ash appear on the screen. Just for larks, I tried finding look-alikes of Aamir Khan and was completely horrified on seeing the results! My horror was not due to the way the prospective grooms looked, it was because of the fact that not one person remotely resembled Aamir Khan. This was true for several other celebrities as well. I wonder if there is any point in having such a feature at all in a respectable matrimonial website. This is not fun stuff like the one I found in myheritage.com.

This initiative is both innovative and disturbing. It is a highly creative attempt to promote their website (not that they need such a gimmick for promoting it!) Though this feature can keep the soul mate hunters very engrossed in their website, it encourages people to expect film star or celebrity looks in a person who need not appear like one. The trend in marriage market is already unhealthy. People want only 'fair and slim' girls. To add humour to this, they want a 'homely' girl. This is a highly ridiculous demand. Not many know the real meaning of the word 'homely'. Even the so called 'educated' people resort to making this absurd usage! The girls too have their own set of 'larger than life' demands from boys. For example, a friend of mine wanted to marry only a green card holder.To top all these, we now have an additional feature: 'I will only marry a guy who looks like Hrithik Roshan- others excuse'- sort of demands. Is it fair and realistic to seek such things when two people are going to share their lives in the bond of marriage?

Tag

I finally found sometime to pick the tag from Nithya's blog.
Ten Things You Wish You Could Say/Ask To People Right Now :
1. Why can't you smile?
2. Stop bragging!
3. Are you a born snob?
4. How many persons have you slept with and why are you giving wrong advices to your friends?
5. Do you really think you are friendly?
6. You might as well marry that lap-dancer.
7. Is that your real character or are you being a hypocrite?
8. Stop shortening my name, you bloody b****!
9. You condescending fool! What do you know about me, huh?
10. Stop flirting with my husband. Remember, you have one!
Nine Things About Yourself
1. I value morality above everything in a human being.
2. I like lemon juice on all forms of sundal (Well...this slipped out before I could think of something nice)
3. I am obsessed about fine clothes.
4. I become extremely self-conscious when I am with people whom I can't relate to.
5. I have very few friends.
6. I enjoy spending time alone.
7. I become disheartened way too easily.
8. I love to live on books.
9. I love smelling babies' fuzzy hair.
Eight Ways To Win Your Heart
(My husband would be a better person to answer this ;))
1. Morality
2. Honesty.
3. Courage.
4. Enjoying silence.
5. Soft music.
6. Correct pronunciation of my name.
7. A bright, sunny smile.
8. Humility.
Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot
1. I wonder how much of my craziness is showing!
2. This is an interesting world!
3. Am I dreaming now?
4. I wonder what has future in store for me.
5. What was I in my previous birth?
6. How unhealthy can a person's ego get and how petty are we in all of God's creations!
7. How will I die?
Six Things You Wish You Never Did
1. Studying eleventh and twelfth class in the most unfriendliest school on earth.
2. Making some 'friends'.
3. Studying Math till tenth class and Physics and Chemistry till twelfth class (I now understand that I wasted some precious time in trying to learn certain concepts when I could have enjoyed a wonderful book)
4. Being an introvert all my school life.
5. Being nice to certain snobs out of compulsion.
6. Calling some people names (in my mind).
Five Turn-Off’s
1. People shortening my name (I hate those sl*** who do that!)
2. Flirts.
3. People in live-in relationships (I can never respect them)
4. Noise and loud music.
5. People giving more importance to cell phones and computers instead of enjoying real company)
Four Turn-On’s
1. Books without blood, gore and obscenities.
2. Nature stroll.
3. Silence.
4. Nice, long conversation with loved ones.
Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. Visit Egypt. (My P.E.I dream has already come true)
2. Prove myself to those people who gave me hard times.
3. Achieve inner peace (Well...this is preachy!)
Two Smileys that Describe You
1. ;)
2. :)
One Confession
1. Pattimanrams, NFL and Seinfeld shows bore me.

A sojourn with Anne

I still remember that night when I casually picked a copy of a book recommended by my close friend and skimmed the pages without any particular aim of finishing it. I wonder what made me actually start reading that book. This book literally changed my life! The book in question was Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Everyone at home had retired for the day. For some reason I hadn't felt sleepy. A book with a strong recommendation from my bosom buddy is enough to keep me awake. I switched on the living room light and started to read what Rachel Lynde observed from her window. Somehow, I don't remember what kept me going then. I now guess it had to be the homey feel the book had when compared to the universal favourites (I still use a 'u' when i write 'favourite'. I think it lends a poetic feel to the otherwise plain word! I am sure Anne would have agreed with me!) which had plenty of blood and gore. I turned the pages comfortably without hurrying up to know what happened next. When my back started to feel a little uncomfortable, I glanced at the wall clock. It was getting late. I had to attend college the next day. I tore myself away from Anne and hit the bed with the excitement of discussing the book with my friend. Days rolled by (there...I could use some melodrama-after all Anne loves it!) with a new flavour (again!) after the advent of Anne in my life. She became so real to me. I started devouring the Anne books. I felt sad when I finished the last book of the Anne series- Rilla of Ingleside. I felt a vacuum and started on an Anne book buying spree. I used to haunt the famous Landmark bookstore with my friend after college hours-just to look at the Anne books arranged on the shelf. I bought one a month. Soon the Anne fever caught my dearest cousin also. We discussed L.M.Montgomery's books and Anne whenever we got a chance and re-read all the books whenever my life-season demanded. My cousin and my friend presented me with an Anne book for my birthday. I can never forget those birthdays. They were extra-special to me. There is something so wholesome and transparent about the Anne books which one wouldn't find elsewhere. The present day lifestyle actually needs books which relax you without being preachy. I passed out of college and started my Masters degree. I was still obsessed with Anne. Only very of my friends were able to understand that feeling. In my Masters degree, there were no kindred spirits. People were too busy discussing relationships and heart-breaks. I had to dream alone or with my cousin when we got a chance to meet or with my friend whenever we called each other. I dreamt dreams of visiting Prince Edward Island to experience nature at her best as claimed by L.M.Montgomery who grew up there. Many people thought I was a bit weird in picking P.E.I as one of the places I'd love to visit during my lifetime. I was so sure that I'd visit this beautiful place sometime and revel in Anne and the related romance L.M.M wove. Little did I think that it was going to happen very soon with the- and because of the most special person in my life. When I set foot on the Charlottetown (capital city of P.E.I) airport with my husband, I felt the very air hang thick with unexplored beauty. People usually love visiting the most hyped spots on earth. Most of them do it for a kitty party or a coffee table discussion. The bed and breakfast Inn we stayed reminded of the cosy Patty's place. My eyes started to search for the elusive Gog and Magog at the fireplace. Our charming host had arranged the living room so beautifully and garnished it with lots of Anne and L.M.M. I had to tell myself every time that I was not dreaming. The breakfast we had there almost equalled the goodies Anne had in the golden picnic with her friends. This was just the beginning. Practically every islander knew about Anne. It was surprising to see that P.E.I 's tourism actually revolved around Anne. In passing, I couldn't help but think about the things India could do to promote its tourism with its countless legends and mystical past. The first day in Charlottetown was rainy. I was able to drink-in the beautiful fragrances brought by the rain described so vividly by L.M.M in her books . I looked out of the window and imagined Anne's first day at Green Gables. After a hearty, Anneish breakfast, we visited the Anne store. I now feel guilty about the money I spent on buying Anne memorabilia. The most beautiful part of my P.E.I trip was the visit to Cavendish-the place where most of L.M.M's novels are set. To begin with we stopped at the bookstore run by L.M.M's descendants. The bookstore was free of all the glitz and glamour (yet again!) of the bookstores I have visited. It looked like a quaint barn with the choicest collection of L.M.M's works neatly arranged on the racks.. I was thrilled beyond words to be there. As we walked further away from the bookstore to visit L.M.M's Cavendish house, I bent down and scooped some earth and put it inside a plastic bag. Many would think this act crazy. I am sure kindred spirits won't. There was a fine drizzle all day and as Anne would term it, the experience was perfectly romantic! There was not much remaining of the Cavendish home where Anne of Green Gables was penned. The very thought that my most favourite book was written there made me stop there in awe and silence. I was amazed at the impact a book could have on one's life. My husband was amazed at the 'damage' it had done to me. Our next stop was Green Gables. Blood was performing a roller coaster ride in my tiniest of capillaries. I was actually going to see Green Gables! As we walked towards the hilltop, the first view of Green Gables took my breath away with its beauty and simplicity. The words used to describe this homiest spot on earth danced in my mind uncontrollably. I was numb in joy! Each and every room I visited brought the memory of a wonderful chapter from the book. When I looked at the east gable room, I was a bit disappointed. This disappointment was like the one Anne had when she came to know that diamonds are not violet in colour. The dress with puffed sleeves spread on the bed consoled me a bit. The Green Gables kitchen reminded me of the chapter when Anne pays a surprise visit to Green Gables from Queen's Academy. Though there wasn't any lamp to welcome me, I was able to feel the warmth of a real home when I looked at the 'freshly home-baked loaf of bread' and Marilla's rolling pin. I half expected to see Anne and Marilla on the dining table discussing the Avonlea gossip. Each spot I visited in P.E.I made it hard to believe that Anne is only a fictional character. I was amazed at myself for remembering the books page-wise! After Green Gables, we paid a visit to L.M.M's final resting place and Avonlea village. Everything seemed like a dream right from the Raspberry cordial bottle I was holding. I am now awake with fond memories of that 'dream'. I have often heard my mother say that your dreams would come true if you wish for them with all your heart. I was only a dreamer. My husband made it real for me.
Photo courtesy: Green Gables, Cavendish, by my Gilbert Blythe

That...

Disclaimer: Exaggeration is the mother of invention ;)

As I cross the Atlantic, my mind is buzzing with a single thought- a thought which is strong enough to eat my brain away. Of course I am going to miss my loved ones and my mother land.But that wasn't the thing my mind was busy ruminating on.I am going to miss something which I have taken for granted all my life.How will I? Is it an impossibility? No! I tell myself. People live...no... prosper there without that on this land.They have their reasons for that(though I personally feel that all their reasons are super dumb!)Suddenly goose pimples erupt all over me seeing myself using that. I dismiss that thought trying to look at the in-flight TV showing a Disney movie. Not even Princess Diaries could take my mind off that. I am paranoid about it.I change the channel and finally switch off the TV. God!!! I am so near to using THAT!!! This is going to be harder than a tight-rope walk!

As I set my foot for the first time on the strange soil, I rush madly to search for that.A desperate sort of madness that has been fermenting in my head ever since I heard about its unavailability gushes out from me. They say this is a developed land that has all the comforts on earth. I comb the plate-glassy shops for that,but in vain. I don't seem to get THE exact thing I'm looking for though lots of its look-alikes are available.I give up.I take a deep breath and call home to tell my mother to courier me one...

Only...

Found this awesome piece as my friend's email signature

" Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.... "