Ever Grey

..the messy bits..

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Shit the bartender says

The last post I had was two years back? Wow, it really has been awhile! 

So I got myself into the business: the hospitality industry of course! Took me 4 years of studies and few months of internship here and there. I am now working behind a bar in Kuala Lumpur. So you were thinking, why a bar, after graduating from my degree? 

Of course, after graduating I could get a “better offer” by working in a high rise building with better pay and better “outfit”, rather than working my ass off everyday more than 12 hours. Then again, you could be so wrong. 

I rather work from the bottom. 

I started off as a junior bartender. Getting my hands dirty, carrying heavy loads and getting my face shout by drunk people (but lucky me I don’t have to clean up pukes). 

It really was a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you get the adrenaline pumping through from shaking up countless cocktails, and sometimes the nights are just so boring that you can be standing doing nothing. 

But overall, it was really good. We (bartenders) are more than just pouring beers, filling up your glasses and serving cocktails. We need to know all in and out of the whole bar. Spiced rums, botanicals and don’t forget the single malts. We need to know things inside out, just like a wine sommelier. 

Sometimes we feel like the most underrated person behind the bar. People come shouting at us for not carrying a certain brand of vodka, people laugh at us for not being able to toss and flair bottles, and the worst part is, getting scream at for not serving after closing time. 

Seriously, we meet all kind of people. From the most humble person, who will say “take your time to make my cocktail” and does not even make a noise when his/her drink arrives 15 minutes later after watching you make 5 to 10 drinks at once; then to the worst kind of human being for shouting at you after waited 5 minutes for a gin and tonic when the bartenders have no space to move behind the busy bar. 

Then you have the icing on the cake. The cherry on your pina colada.

The perks of being a bartender, is when the competitions come. Depends how you want to look at it, but it is always good experience where we learn from each other. 

Then again, this roller coaster ride could be sad. 


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I really hate it when people give me so many comments about a book. If the book is good then it’s good; if it’s not, then it’s not. I don’t want to hear a whole list of description to how bad or how good is it. All I want is for you to shut up so I can read it.

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I hate it when people tell me that I can’t do something and I really want to prove them wrong, but I hate it even more when their words, actually bring me down.


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Out of nowhere.

I laugh at people who are terrible at dancing, or singing, or anything; but at the same time, I admire them. They are not ashamed to do whatever they like wherever they are, because they love what they do, and don’t care what others might think of them. But I’m born in a shameful culture, that brought me up to think that they’re just simply so “thick faced”.

I think we’re just cowards. Too afraid to do what we like, too afraid to make mistakes.

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Sometimes, I got the chance to get my revenge, on people who treated me badly. But then again, when I have the chance to think about it, I’d tell myself that “How different are you from them, if you do the same thing?”

That’s why they’re getting what they have now, and all the things they got it from me. They surely don’t deserve them.

At some point that I feel so annoyed, because people would tell me how badly they’re treated; then they treat me the way they would not like to be treated.

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Kind of drives me mad seeing people who are living the dream I always wanted, complaining. Just makes me want to dip them into acids, let them melt.

But I don’t want to be a criminal. What can I do? What can I do besides making my life better? Make the best out of the one I have, than crying over the one I lost and will never get back.

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I really, really do need to take up my own advise. Swallow it down, digest, absorb, and use it.


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Voyage en France, La Partie 2

After everything, finals, assignments, holidays (a rather short one) and farewells, everything came to a very sad ending. But this new beginning is not a pleasant one.

Anyways, back to blogging about France trip:

Again, after a wonderful but not really well drinking session the night before, a few suffered from minor headaches the next day. But had to drag ourselves out of the bed, pack our luggage and head off to Carcassonne early in the morning.

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Right outside Fortress of  Carcassonne.

We arrived and got brought around by our tour guide, a funny guy. The tour guide told us the story of the name of the city. It was pretty interesting, but of course, you have to google it up, I can’t remember everything. :P

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Upon entering.

It was really cold there. Besides the temperature, I guess it’s because of the structure of the whole building and also the altitude, it made us so super cold and almost all of us were all wrapped up.

After a short detour around the area, we were brought to this cathedral, Basilica of St-Nazaire. The interior was so magnificent, kinda like the one in Albi. Image

What it looks like inside.

It should look way better than this, probably was my camera’s settings, I’m not used to it yet. So I couldn’t take a good shot for this one. Furthermore, I think my hands shook every time I take photos. Image

And then lunch a1 a nearby restaurant. And because I love the cheese so much. Rich, creamy and yummy.

After lunch me and my friend decided to go to the museum of torture and that haunted house the tour guide mentioned. But later on, we found out that the haunted house is not what we had in mind, haha we really thought it’s a real haunted house, so we went to the museum of torture. Well, it’s not really huge on the inside and we’re not allowed to take photos there.

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Direction to the museum.

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The entrance.

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Funny mannequin dressed as medieval guard, or something.

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After that it was another trip back to Toulouse, and waited for time to pass until it’s time to take the night train back to Paris. Walked around the city for one last time, and then helped moving around everyone’s luggage out from the hotel and walked to the station.

Night train was, well, shaky, but slept throughout the journey because I was tired. I wonder how the rest got to have drinking sessions and still managed to get up the next day.

Gonna include the rest of the days in the next post, kinda lazy now. Hahaha.


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Gravity

It is so sad to think that the more I want something, the harder it is for me to get it.

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I would picture people pointing and laughing at me because I keep on saying that I want to do something but it was never achieved.
Sometimes it’s just very hard. I’m not the only one here. I mean, like if I was to do something that only I will be involved, then it won’t be a problem. But now, there’s so many people involving.

People would ask me, “why not you try talking to them.” I would, you know, I would talk to them if it’s not so hard to start a conversation about things like these. Or if it’s not so hard to actually, talk to them at all.

You know how it’s like? It’s like, you got nothing to say about it, you don’t have to do anything. They’ll plan it nicely for you, so nice that it’s what THEY want, not what you want. The moment you say things that go against their plan, well, it’s a bye-bye to whatever they want and whatever you want.

No, I seriously don’t know how to say this. I just feel so stupid. Stuck here.


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Please, someone, shut the voices in my head.

Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination—indeed, everything and anything except me.

— Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man.

Sigh. Ever feel like, so afraid to do something because you fear of the rejection you will get. It is so scary, and it’s happening, revolving all around me. Or feel like, you get tossed around the room because nobody wants to be with you. They only asked just because you’re there, and not because they really do want you to be there.

It’s so sad, to see that there is nothing real anymore. People, they just walk pass you. You’re not there.

And, shit, there’s nothing more to write here. No, not here.


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EWERwsa

It’s time to let them do what they want, let them say what they want. I am really sick of protecting and caring people who do not bother about what I feel. It’s always about them.

Now I’m just gonna watch the world burn.

I write this post cos of so many accumulated grudge against so many people who take things for granted.
You’re out there living your lives with no worries because others are always there to pick up the pieces you broke.

I hope you all realize by now that you got to do things with your own hands. And stop putting the blame on someone else because of your own stupidity. Stop losing your anger at someone who have nothing to do with your own idiocy.

Make up your own mind. Stop asking me what I want, and I definitely do not care what you want.


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Voyage en France, La Partie 2

So, after 4 days of management game, stresses and dramas. It finally came to an end. The next day, we all took a bus to Albi, southern of France and northeast of Toulouse. The city is built with the Languedoc-style red bricks, which is why, when we were there, we see red all the time.

One of the main attractions, is the Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile d’Albi, the Cathedral there, religious building, but so awesome. Because of the architecture, and the interior, just blew my mind away. But most of the time we were just 走马看花 only, because we did not have much time, and that really bothered me!

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Front entrance of Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile d’Albi, pretty amazing isn’t it? Look at the design!

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What you’ll see from the inside, one side of the cathedral is built with Roman design while the other with Gothic. Can be differentiated like: Roman — more circular, while Gothic has sharp edges. What you see now, is Gothic.

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Most of the buildings on the street look like this.

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And this, is the strawberry plant!

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The view of the city from the Palais de la Berbie, now Toulouse-Lautrec Museum.

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Chocolate shop, Yves Thuries.

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Another chocolate shop, Michel Belin, 3 Michelin Star I heard. Not so sure though. But the chocolates there are very very very nice, and I still have some in my chiller! :D

After almost the whole morning at Albi, once again we left the place and headed to Gaillac, located between Toulouse, Albi and Montauban. We did not visit the whole city, just the vineyard there, Le domaine du Moulin.

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The entrance.

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The view opposite the entrance, those are the grape vines, it was winter so there’s no grapes, sadly, no leaves too.

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Few of the wines there.

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This is the.. ummmm… the… tank to process the wine? Hahahha, yes I forgot what I studied in Oenology.

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The barrels to age the wine.

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A closer view of a grape plant.

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 There wasn’t any signage for what this is, but I suppose it’s the carriage people from the past used to travel around the vineyard.

We had wine tasting there,  white and red, and sparkling. Then went back to Toulouse and get ready to go to Carcassonne the next day.

I am going to post more in the next post, the line is really slow because of the pictures. ><

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