The kind of mother . . .

(p.s. S equates the word MOTHER as a bad person--thank you Tangled).

I have this friend who sometimes posts about what kind of mother she wants to be. She has great aspirations and has put thought into this.

I remember when I was pregnant with #1 I heard a RS lesson where the person was talking about what we did to prepare ourselves for marriage/motherhood. To be honest, I didn't and had no idea what she was talking about. I figured, people have been having babies for hundreds of years, this mother stuff will come naturally.

It did not.

I felt like clawing my way out of the house and rewinding my life and heading back to school. It was an adjustment to be sure. This screaming, eating, squirming body I was supposed to take care of? And there was hardly anyone to talk to for those first few months. I cried every day. Postpartum depression hit for a while there too. What had I gotten myself into?!?

I did have some preparation for motherhood if you count my stint on the postpartum unit and peds in nursing school plus a few years shared with siblings in cribs. Boy was I in for a shocker when everything that read so simply (i.e. feed newborns every 2 to 3 hours, what to do for diaper rash, eczema, etc. etc.----SOUNDS so SIMPLE doesn't it?) turned out to be a lot more complicated when you're dealing with your own living, screaming baby.

Our first was our hardest baby so far. Probably cause we were novices and she had all these health issues (food allergies, eczema, reflux, etc.). She would scream for hours and I came to understand why some people make a sad choice and shake a baby in the moment of frustration/sleep deprivation/craziness. A few times I had to just set her down and walk away to cool off from the crying. My mom says I was a bit paranoid about her crying but I seriously had a sort of PTSD that lasted for about 10 months after she was born from all the crying I put up with. If she got off her routine at all and was overtired, we were HAD.

#2 was similar, but luckily her "colic" (insert nightly screaming for 3+ hours) lasted only 2 months. The jury is out on #3 at this point. Let's just say we call him our "good boy"--knock on wood.

I've also come to learn that children are synergistically harder. I thought when B was about 18 months (super fun age but exhausting) that I could handle another kid so baby #2 was on her way. But I didn't account for the fact that B would CHANGE . . . Ahh . . . novice.

On the positive side, once the baby isn't so fragile, more kids = more fun. They are so fun to see interact and play together. They are my little friends day (and night). :) I love our little conversations and helping them learn everything new. It is so fun to see the light in their eyes.

Also, I LOVED growing up with lots (5) brothers and sisters. When the house was quiet it was Strange.

Anyhow, I figure we all find something or other to blame on our parents and nobody's perfect. So even though I am going to try my hardest to be patient, and play with my kids, and take them on fun outing, and teach them to be reverent, and how to go potty, etc. etc. and ALL the other things "good" moms do, I know I will mess up, (and I do). And that at some point one of my kids will say "I hate you" and I will just crumble inside because I have put so much into them. But then we will have fun times too and B will pinch my arm fat and squeeze my arm while we eat donuts and watch Finding Nemo and say "I love you" like she did tonight.

So, I do want to be the kind of mother who teaches her children patiently, and the kind of mother they can come to with any concerns, and the kind of mother they know always supports them. And Especially I want to be the kind of mother who shows her children that she truly really loves them and cherishes them no matter what.

So here's to trying my best and being the kind of mother I envision and God wants me to become. But also accepting and dealing with my humanity and trying to be better every day.

She's the Boss

We are Grateful For . . .

1. Jesus
2. Food
3. Stuffed Animals
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Nursery
7. Father
8. Watermelons
9. Chubby cheeks to kiss
10. Baby Gabe
11. A healthy body
12. Healthy children
13. Food again (Sisi)
14. Clean water
15. Comfortable apartment
16. Good job/livelihood
17. that my eyes can see
18. Nailpolish
19. Sparkly nailpolish
20. Burp Cloths
21. the Christmas season
22. My parents and their legacy
23. Pretty things
24. Minnesota--and all our friends there
25. Snow
26. Sunshine
27. Spring
28. Church
29. Christmas trees
30. Blankets
31. Caden
32. Presents
33. my tummy
34. Bugs that eat other bugs
35. Frogs
36. Fish
37. Preschool
38. Creatures and other animals that are babies
39. Eric
40. my skills that can provide if necessary
41. A clean home
42. Good neighbors
43. Friendly people
44. Everything in the world
45. Grandma Freeman
46. Oma
47. Beds
48. Jobs
49. Bella helping to put away the utensils without being asked
50. The girls helping to clean the windows
51. A washing machine so I don't have to scrub the wash by hand
52. Pictures and statues
53. Temples
54. A doggy
55. Pets
56. Foster dog program
57. healthy children and good doctors if we are sick
58. my grandparents
59. balloons
60. potty treats and candy
61. Polly Pocket
62. Toys
63. Warm clothes
64. A car that works well
65. Everything that is warm
66. a hot shower
67. that my body can grow and nourish babies
68. Showers
69. Cookie dough
70. Cute pjs
71. Baby monitors
72. Birthday parties
73. A good friend who just called me
74. Dad's night float is only one week
75. Airplanes to fly to see those we love
76. Children's museums
77. Cars
78. Helicopters
79. Heavenly Father
80. Babies
81. Good kids care at the YMCA so I can work out
82. Music that uplifts and inspires and motivates
83. Pain medicine
84. that I can have and bear children
85. being able to afford nice clothes and food
86. family night
87. healthy teeth
88. braces
89. pink and purple
90. rainbows that are in the sky
91. the pets I had growing up
92. bed time
93. quiet time
94. candy
95. that we all have 10 fingers and 10 toys
96. Dr. Holmes who operated on B
97. that E's work is within walking distance of our home
98. Bella
99. Sisi
100. Mommy and Daddy


This is a list that we came up as an activity for Family Night to open our eyes to see how blessed we are. You can guess who came up with what.

Good morning.

A look at what a typical moment of our morning is like . . . captured perfectly.

3 years and 4 months old

So, our little princess is 3 years old today!!

Happy Birthday SiSi!

It was a great day with a Tangled theme. Seeing a child's face so happy is priceless. I will have to post pictures as soon as I upload them.

But first, here are some pictures, in chronological order of our little man who will be 4 months old in a couple days!!

Here he is at 12 days old:

14 days:

1 month:

2 months:

I should have gotten a picture of him in his bouncer before we packed it away. That as at 3 1/2 months. He was definitely weighing it down so we would prop it against the couch or wall. Now just imagine him even more chubby and alert and cute. So smiley and happy to be held.

Thanks for reading my sporadic posts!

Happy Halloweenie Chubby!

Yay! My camera cord has arrived!

Here are pictures from our trick-or-treating escapades:

An angel, bee, and witch.

And look who's 3 months old!

Getting kind of chubby . . .

Love this sweet boy and his happy smile. He is such a big cuddler and his chub just melts into you. And although he hates his carseat, he has been quite the happy traveler as we have flown to FL, SLC, and back, gone to Walt Disney World, and head to North Carolina next week.

3 months old!

and he's growing out of 9 month clothes!
(I should've just skipped this size like I did with his big sis B)

22 lbs?!?

Disney Back in the Day

So, my bro just sent me this picture. Classic isn't it? We are children of the '80s. I'm pretty sure this is in front of the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse at Disneyland. I just had to post it since I was just able to introduce the kids to the world of Disney last week. So awesome.

And, wow (!), I didn't remember my hair being that blonde. It looks A LOT like S's hair now: blonde and wavy/frizzy. ;)

Sad News

So, I was all ready to jump back into blogging, when I realized I left my camera cord at home and can't upload pictures til January. Which also means, I either need to buy a new memory card (ours is full) or not take any more pictures til then.
Luckily, Kaicie is going to come to the rescue and mail me ours we left in Minnesota.
So, until then, no pictures of our adventures will be posted. :(

But you can imagine in your head pictures of us at the Magic Kingdom and Gabe in his swimsuit with his rolls of chub, man boobs, and cellulite cuteness of 2 month oldness. He is a TANK. Lately, he has not seemed satisfied with just milk. He will eat and eat and has started waking up more at night. But I tell myself it's a growth spurt. Or maybe a 20 lb baby needs a little more than milk. I am hoping to hold off on rice cereal til he's 30 lbs aka 4 months. ;)

In other news, S is a hitting machine. She hits when she is frustrated, excited, to get attention, etc. etc. Timeout, holding her arms, saying "don't hit," yelling "don't hit!", etc. etc. does not seem a deterrent. She hits everyone from grandma to baby G. Any tips?

Florida

Well, I have been a blog slacker lately. And I probably will continue to be, reasons being:
1. 2 month old babe
2. 2 year old terror (insert willful lack of potty training here and hitting/biting 2 month old babe)
3. moved to FL for a couple month stint
4. Disneyworld for a week--need I say more?!

Big Boy

7 weeks and 18 lbs later . . .

someone is growing like a weed.

1 week old trick

How I'm feeling right now . . .

Except since E is working 24 hour shifts at the hospital every 3rd night this month, most of the time it reads: Adults 1

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Trying to figure out how to upload videos . . . any tips?

Flashback Thursday :)

Update

Well, life is humming along.
G man is ONE MONTH today!
Wow. Glad that month is over. We are getting to know him better and he is a sweet little boy, but I have to admit the first month or two are not my favorite.

BUT, I do have a cool video of him doing a little trick that he surprised us with at 1 week old. (just still can't figure out how to upload that). So stay tuned . . .

In less than a month we head to Jacksonville, FL for a couple months for E's training. We will also be in Orlando for a week. And December will find us in Winston-Salem, North Carolina (again for the all-consuming career), as well as in UT for another WEDDING and Christmas.

Anyhow, if any of you are planning on being in any of those areas, we'd love to see you!

Email me and let me know!

Remember this?

Before and after.

Pics

Soon after birth:

He loves his hands. This is how he was at his 20 week ultrasound and he came out with one hand at his face:

New favorite doll to play with. We're working on being gentle:

B's a pro already, although we have to remind her not to pick him up or carry him:

2 days old and going home:

1st day home:

4 days old:

We love you G-man!

Welcome Gabe!

We welcomed little Gabe, Friday, August 5th around 3:45 am.

He was 10 lbs 2 oz and 23 inches long.

Labor was short--5 hours! I always find postpartum and recovery a lot harder for me than pregnancy, labor, and delivery--but we are doing well and taken care of by Eric, my mom and Livy.

Pictures to come later.

Labor story

If you want the story, here it is. If not, skip this part:

Labor started at 11 pm and was done in 5 hours--super fast! Since I was a couple days overdue I had done a lot that day hoping it would get this little man here: exercised on the elliptical 20-30 minutes, walked around Sams Club, went on a walk with the girls, baked cookies and popcorn, etc. etc. I guess all that activity worked cause as soon as we laid down to go to sleep at 11, I had a contraction and they came every 10 minutes for an hour. By 11:30, I decided I was not sleeping, so I got up to read and figure out if these were regular or not. My mom was up and recommended that if I thought I was in labor, I should not wait long to get to the hospital since I would progress fast since I had already been a "generous 4" at my last appointment. Luckily, she and my sis had come into town on the 1st of August so we could leave whenever for the hospital. By 12:30 am they were about every 5 minutes. The nurse midwife had told me to come to the hospital if my contractions were every 5 minutes for 1 hour OR if I felt I really needed to come. I felt like this was the real deal so I finished up packing my bag, hopped in the shower for a warm rinse (supposed to help you relax), and by then it was a little after 1. I decided I needed to wake up Eric cause the contractions were coming faster and faster (3-5 minutes apart). We got to the hospital at 1:50 am and by then my contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes.

It was kind of funny cause I walked up to the triage desk and they asked me if they could help me and I told them my name (since I had preregistered). I wasn't having a contraction then so I was calm and talking all normal. They looked through their paperwork (probably the people showing up to be induced), and looked at me confused and said, "what are you here for?" I said, "I'm in labor." They probably were like, right, you are standing here, not in pain or anything. But they walked me right back to triage and had me change in a gown immediately. Then I had a super big contraction and looked at Eric and said, "I want an epidural." So, they checked me and I was already an 8! That made me feel so much better and happy and I thought, "I can do this!--it's almost over." I had prayed it would be quick and was handling the pain ok, but in the back of my mind I remembered how long and painful B's delivery was and was a bit worried about the pushing/stitching/after phase lasting a while. Looking back, I realize that fear of pain is sometimes worse than the pain itself. But, anyway I opted for an epidural. The anesthesiologist was worried the baby would come super fast so he suggested a spinal instead since the epidural takes 30 minutes to kick in and the spinal is immediate.

Got the spinal at 2:40. Checked me at 3 and I was a 9. Checked me at 3:16 and I was a 10. Sitting down had definitely slowed my labor and I was a bit anxious at this point because I couldn't feel ANYthing and I liked how with S's labor I could feel pressure to push.

But they had me start pushing at 3:30. My water hadn't broken and my nurse thought it would be cool to see a baby be born in the sack, but to me it just seemed like it would be messy and harder to push so I told them to break my water. The NM agreed and did so. I think it made pushing easier cause he was born at 3:47. He come out with his hand up by his face too. :)

Because of that cute little hand I needed a couple stitches, but that was all.

So, I guess my fears of a long pushing phase were nothing to worry about. It's just so hard to predict because every baby and labor and doctor/nurse midwife is different. And the way I am during labor depending on if it's the middle of the night, or I'm induced during the day, etc.

It's crazy to think he was 2 1/2 lbs bigger than Sierra! It was pretty funny too, cause I thought he was big but the NM kept saying, I don't think he's more than 8 lbs. I'm thinking, "I'm over 6 feet tall and my stomach is HUGE--measuring big--and he measured big at his 20 week ultrasound--so this kid is BIG."

Anyhow, we are home and doing well now. The first night at home is always the hardest. Pretty sure I got a max of 3 hours of sleep. Thank goodness for my mom and Livy being here to help so I could nap that day. Gabe was a bit restless/cranky since his circ. but now that's all better he is a much happier baby. Let's hope he stays that way. I already love this little man so much!

Overdue . . .

and I'm not talking about library books.

Hogle Zoo

From our trip to Hogle Zoo a while back.
Waiting to ride the train with Oma and Great-grandma:

The bird show:

B even gave the cockatoo a dollar.

We were so glad uncle Nate came with. Right now S is looking at the picture saying, "I like Natey. Nate is funny." The girls really warmed up and grew to love him a lot this trip. I warned him he would regret this as they were hanging, jumping on him, etc. ;)

Thanks for a fun time at the zoo!

Belly Pics

The pictures you've all been waiting for. haha.

Me in all my pregnancy glory at 9 months . . . and waiting for this kid to come. (my eyes look a little devilish I think).

So what name do you think we are leaning towards?? And which is the girls' idea?

Pictures courtesy of Monica W., my awesome neighbor.

Fellowship 2012

So where will E's professional career lead us next? ? ?



Here!!!

We are staying right here for E to complete a one year fellowship. The program is phenomenal, we don't have to sell our house (for another year), and they sent him home with chocolate cake for me after his interview dinner. :)

Oh yeah, and we get to spend a month not here (insert AZ, Fl, or Napa valley) which will be awesome.

We feel really guided and blessed for him to have this opportunity. It's really starting to feel like home.

Congrats on all your hard work that has brought you this far, babe!

Happy 24th of July

S says: "Happy Pioneer Day, Utahns, from us to you!"

Red, White, and Blue Shower

Upon my return from T's wedding, some friends threw me a shower for this little man. It was soooo cute! Check out the food and decor!!

Look at all those yummy treats!!

Here's some of the awesome ladies who came. Karen, my companion for visiting teaching (also radio personality and funny lady), Carrie, fellow prego lady with twins and and awesome attitude, and Jen, fellow Buckeye fan with her own little 6 week old, great lady to talk to.

And here's me with Mauri and her beautiful almost 1 year old baby Bri. Mauri's one of the first people who had us over when we moved here and is a party person. She has a great attitude and is very inviting. We were lucky enough to hang out at the park earlier that day and she showed up to the part-ay even though her hubby had been working 5 am til 10 pm most days that week.

And here are the beautiful hostess' of the party. Kaicie, Jayme, and Carrie. I can not say enough good things about each of these women. Kaicie, the party mastermind (seriously--this girl can throw a party and is so creative!), has been a true friend, and fellow transplant from Ohio, and our kids click super well right now which is so fun. Jayme--let's just say that girl is a hard worker and has more energy than I ever will. I was over at her house at 8:30 am last week and she had just finished mowing her lawn with all 3 kids in tow! And Carrie: hilarious. Talk to her and I dare you not to smile. All gorgeous women in their own right.

Unfortunately, I don't have more pictures of the other wonderful ladies here. And Jamie, who created and put together handmade invites for everyone.
I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing women that add so much depth and warmth to my life through our interactions, conversations, and service.

We hit the jackpot again when we moved here. We may be in a small town in the frozen tundra most months of the year, but we are surrounded with awesome people with warm hearts who make it such a special place.

And with that note, I will leave you hanging for another post of where we will end up for E's fellowship starting July 2012 . . .

Cousins

While we were in UT, we were able to meet baby Jacob, the first cousin that my girls have on my fam's side. Miss S was enamored and wanted to hold him and help give him his paci, bottle, etc.
While we have many pictures of her holding him, here's one that I like the best since it shows how happy she was to do it.

Baby J was the sweetest, seemed to sleep well, and was very tolerant of his 2 year old cousin and her constant attention--as was his beautiful mama. Thank you!
So glad we were able to meet him!

Wedding

So about 6 weeks ago, we were able to fly back to UT to see my sister, T, and "Dougy Bug," as my girls affectionately call him, get married in the Logan, UT temple.


B was the flower girl, and super excited about this because she thought she would get to throw flowers and really help the bride, etc. from reading a book about a flower girl.


This picture is out of order, but the pranksters (aka aunt A and Doug's fam) did an awesome job on the car.


Here they are before they cut the cake. No blackmail cake smashing pictures as they were very polite to each other.


I love this picture. Here's aunts A, R, and O, outside the temple waiting for the bride and groom to appear.

And here's me with little S. We told her she was the flower girl's assistant. She thought it was pretty cool she could help the flower girl . . . whatever that meant. On her forehead is a kiss mark from the bride.

S and Uncle N. I think you can tell they're related.

It was a great day and I hope it was a special, perfect one for Aunt T and Uncle D.
Congratulations!