So I haven't written FOREVER. If there are any readers still, here ya go.
It's been a crazy year.
1 year ago today we found out that Eric's beloved brother--his best friend--had taken his own life. Previous to that our life had been crazy enough with me in full time graduate school and Relief Society president plus normal family events and our 3 littles. But that event really rocked both Eric and I.
Previous to that we were then approached with a job offer to be closer to family. We felt it was right but there were many details to work out. It was an exciting, stressful time. And with all the extended family events we/I missed (farewells, weddings, funerals, etc.) in 2015 we knew it was time. We had done well in the Midwest. In fact, I LOVE the Midwest. But we needed to be closer to family. And we knew the job was right.
We finally ironed out all the details and told our families we would be moving early in 2016. I continued to pursue a frantic pace of keeping up with mothering, schooling, and churching. And in February I finally collapsed in a yoga class (one of my solaces). I was diagnosed with strep twice until they figured out I had mono. It wiped me out. I was so exhausted.
March 2016 came as did our search for a new casa. We found one over Spring break (mostly Eric did this with me still recovering) and completed the purchase in April. By then I finally told the Bishop (our ecclesiastical leader) that I could no longer be RS president. I just physically couldn't. And I felt guilty for admitting that--but it was true. It was the week our house in Illinois was to go up on the market. And then like that I was laying in bed texting on a Sunday morning and a friend told me she wanted to buy our house (without a realtor). We had put in all the work to get it ready and even planted flowers the previous night. But not having to list it with a realtor was a Godsend. A tender mercy.
So our home entered contract in April.
I graduated in May.
I studied for boards and packed and organized all summer. And finally July 15 I took my national board exam. The next week we moved to Utah.
And then life really hit.
My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in June and had emergency surgery the week I moved out to Utah. I was staying at their home (since our stuff had not yet arrived for our home) and I visited the hospital, held down the fort at my parents', and tried to move in by myself while Eric finished up work in Illinois.
Oh yah, and I was so sick and pregnant. Baby boy due January 2017. So sick all summer. So tired.
Anyhow, Eric arrived July 30th and I was so relieved. It was such an emotional, worrisome time with my mom's health.
And from that time on life is still going at a frantic pace. Hallelujiah I am no longer in school and no longer RS president but we just found out Eric's mom is having open heart surgery in December and my dad is having surgery next week. My Mom is doing chemo. We are adjusting. Moving is hard. Eric has a new job. He is busy and has a lot of demands placed on him from that. And now I am just trying to process this all and stay the rock. . . We have new callings/church responsibilities. And I am finally not so sick.
But I am crumbling. It has been such a hard year. Just too much.
So welcome to my journal. To my processing. I am creating SPACE. And trying to hold on for dear life. Love to any of you who are reading.
And Steve, we miss you more than you know.
Hugs,
R
