thinking about yesterday seems ridiculous. nope. thinking about how i lose control on my thought was outrageous. doing assesment on my thought ridiculed me. how on earth im blaming other people just for my own mistakes? why should i say bad things about other people when all fault are actually derived from me? only looser blames other people.

i was enraged. i really think its due to hormonal imbalance. because all i wanted to do is to be angry to someone. to raise my voice when they had done nothing wrong at all. i wanted someone to hear that i can be mad. that im capable of being mad. and now, having to rethinking about that, i feel its really weird and despicable.

one of my friend put something at the common room, and when i came back to my chalet, i saw that thing in the common room. and suddenly i just said, why is this thing here? is it supposed to be here? take it back where it supposed to be. and slamming the door.

i dont have reason to be mad at that. i know. when i think about that again, that thing has been there for long time before. and i never even realize it. i never care about it. but now how come suddenly i become so bengang with that thing?

yes, like i told u so, something was wrong with the chemical in my brain. im on my way to restabilise.

i just need a break. a kinder bueno would be more than enough. =)

ha ha ha haahah

today i woke up so late. damn late. i mean, i’ve awaken before for subuh prayer..then i thought of reading mathurat or something, but im so sleepy, so i conitnued my sleeping. my dream was awful. its a morningmare (instead of nightmare). my family went to the beach for holiday picnic. and then, suddnely theres a big spiral, seduting all the people. and they become a zombie. my family have turn to zombie. and i had to kill and stab them using knife,,and they alive back. its like, they were regenerated. that dream was despicable.

i always had a bad dream recently.

when i woke up its 9. the first thing in my mine, bullshit! why nobody wake me up? stupid chalet mate lah. i wonder if they are actually so damn happy realizing the fact that i’ve missed my class. its math class. i dont care if only one block that i missed. but last week, i overslept during afternoon. and no bloody chaletmate try to wake me up. ok its my fault. bloody shit. when i sleep, i =m just too sleepy to even set my alarm.

i hate myself for this. so this means, i have missed 3 block of my math class. and i cannot afford to miss another. i feel like stabbing my heart with a knife.

during afternoon, one of my chaletmate said, ”ade org miss kelas hari ni”. with that coy smile..”who??” i pretend to be secretive. ”kau lah? aku tak tahu pn kau ade dlm bilik”.

fucking liar. if at that morning, im not in my room, where could i be? great hall?

.i so fucking hate her.

can i change my chalet mate?

im aiming for King’s College!

weee=)

theres many type of friends in this world.

1) a friend that only exist when we’re surrounded with money, friends, fame, popularity, and intelligence. its called, ‘seasonal-friendship’. when all those things gone, then they gone too.

2)friend that only appear when you’re in college, studying or doing stuff. they appear to be fun, and interesting, like BFF. but the fact is, when holiday started, they disappeared out of nowhere. text, call, facebook, NONE. they are called, ”college-time-friends”

3)friend that only there to ask from you something, like chemistry stuff or math stuff or other academic stuff. if they didnt have any question to ask, or they know that they are more intelligent than you, than you loose them.

4) classmate friends. its the hi-and-bye-friends in the class. give them smile, open the textbook, bell ring, give smile back, and thats it.

5)crap friends. when u see them, u started to talk craP! nothing important.

5)a true friend. they always wanted to do the best for you. always wanted to fulfill your wants in anytime, their service has no limits nor time boundaries. they didnt know the distance or how often you met, they are still the same. its intact. they guide you when they know you r off the track. they are there, everytime u need to talk to somebody.

i must admit, this is the friend you need to find in this world. they are the forever-and-ever-friends. BFF.

thanks for being my true friends, guyz. LOVE YOU =)

how does it feel, to nurture someone,,sponsoring him,,giving him money to educate himself,,give him pocket money..from when hes little kid, until hes big enough to walk alone in the street, just to know that he betrayed you in the end of the day?

its excruciating aite?
its what we call with people who ”tak mengenang jasa”.

i know, that person who raised him from young, hoping hes going to be a very good and noble man in the future, just want to do nice thing to people, because if she doesnt raise him, shes afraid that he will end up sleeping in the street, doing some ridiculous things, drugs, all that. but at last, when he got all those education and stuff, and money, he doesnt even want to see her, being old in her house.

i wanted to cry if theres anyone make this a movie in HBO. this type of movie is very saddening.

it bleed my heart just to see the woman got scold and stabbed at the back by that man……who lives on the woman’s money, but still do bad thing to her.

whenf

today i sprayed my little sister with a perfume,,,a several time at her neck, until i myself got sick of the scent. hahahaha. shes 6 years old. and she got angry with me.

she said, ”nonol x suke minyak wangi!”.

”oh ye kee…ingatkan nonol sukee…..nape x suke minyak wangi? wangi kan best?”

”nonol alah kepada minyak wangi..”

”oh ye ker..sorry..baru tahu..”

wah2..pandai berkata2 nampak.

”ok..kalau macam tu tikah sembur minyak busuk boleh?”

‘die pun berlari keluar, and i chased her.

”nonol tak suke main dengan tiqah.pg la tempat lain.”

cis! budak tak mengenang budi. punyelah aku selalu belikan die aiskrim lah kek lah,,ini balasannya! kalau nak suruh orang belikan barang,,bukan main berkata2 manis lagi.

susah benar nak deal dengan budak kecik ni. nanti dia!!

have u heard of this? the Nobel Prize sperm bank. its funny on the first sight aite. the nobel prize sperm bank! (still, i must admit dat i found the idea of combining the outstanding DNA in sperm with intelligent DNA in ovum quite fascinating.)

its where people create a generation of genius. a baby with a genius gene, and DNA inherited by their parents. its not really their parent, they are just where the sperm and ovum come from.

the nobel prize winner donor their sperm,and then injected into the among intelligent women..and here it is,,, the genius baby!

the nobel prize sperm bank was officially opened by Robert Klark Graham. yeah, a lot of people didnt like much this idea. its like, why you honour so much people with intelligence, and want to create things like elitism or eugenicist when God has already created a diversity in life.

its quite unfair. because some people are not just born in that way. and you shouldnt just expect all people should be a genius.

and yeah, it destructed the family system. the pity one is always the baby. being bornt as some kind of experiment must be quite pathetic aite.

quote from the experimented child

“It was a screwed-up idea, making genius people. The fact that I have a huge IQ does not make me a person who is good or happy. People come expecting me to have all these achievements under my belt, and I don’t. I have not done anything that special. I don’t think being intelligent is what makes a person. What makes a person is being raised in a loving family with loving parents who don’t pressure them. If I was born with an IQ of 100 and not 180, I could do just as much in my life. The thing I like best about myself is not that I’m smart but that I care about people and try to make other people’s lives better. I don’t think you can breed for good people.”

when times goes on, there will be more and more people in this world want to play God.

i am really curious. how some people can just abandone you like you didnt exist.

like..when you are talking to somebody,,for godsake,several time, without no response from them.

i dont understand why people would want to act this way.

wowww….

alhmdllah.

what a releaseee!
super super release!!

you never know what am i feeling right now. its like..something big has been release out from my body. LOL. dont think disgusting things ok.

i have done my first draft of PS. ok i know, this is not a big accomplishment. but its still a move right?

hey i have done my first drafttt ps!!!!!!

tomorrow, going to mid..

and i wanna buy some ”like not-so-up-to-date” gadgettt…..wuu..

and then go jogging..yeah. cool2. what a release.

ehem..going to talk a little bit for today event.
i still went to the HIV kid house at bandar tun razak. durrah couldnt make it, because shes sick or something. then i called my friend at gombak. and then what? u know, 5 of my friends came. 1 in 5. LOL. and u know how the chaos in that house.

rashidi (kudi)
very naughty and active boy. 3 years old. couldnt read. quite lazy to learn. like to cry. such an emo boy. always got bullied by bigger boys. but i think hes so handsome. haha. for 3 years old boy.

Nasif (Yip)
brilliant boy. 5 years old. going to his first day in school tomorrow. today he kept showing me his new shoes, new clothes, new socks and everything. hahaa. the funny thing is, he kept wearing that shoes in front of me..than put it off, and wear it again..just to show me several time. funnnnny isnt it? hes very good talker. people describe him as a reporter (suke report). and so, always got scold by the bigger boy.

Aiman
very cute and charming boy. so manja with me.always want to berpaut kat orang. 3 years old. during lunch, he wnts me to suap him..and followed by other 9-10 years old boys. all want to suap ka? hahaha. but hes very nice. and not banyak ragam like kudi.

Syam
9 years old or something. very naughty. acting like big bro. like to make Kudi cry.

Amin
9 years old. garang seh…i mean, with the smaller kids lah.

Balqish, Anisah, Nazirah, Aqilah (9thn), Siti (down Syndrome),

ok lazy to remember their name. haha.

bye!!!

so haaapppyyy..=D =D