letting go.. finally....

today...
i realized something...
today..
i want to set someone free..
today...
i decided it's time to love myself...
today...
i am letting go..
;(

i cried enough..
i chased you enough..
and i fought enough..
and finally..
i have to let go...
i have to forget..
i have to end something so i could start something new...
:(

it is a hard decision..
but i am finally giving up on you..

i love you but i have to give some for myself too...
i am letting you go now..
and il never beg and insist myself to you after today..

today..
you are free...
today..
i am good as dead...
:(

today...
i will stop loving you...

:(

moving forward

dreamt about you for 2 consecutive nights now...
:(
i am starting to move forward...
i am planning to move on..
but you still keep on haunting me..
why!?!
dear God why!?
:(
i always read what you have said to me..
so every time i have the urge to send you a message...
will stop and think...
haha..
i am not even welcome in your life now..
why would i insist myself!?
history is repeating itself..
:(
i was like this... i think that was 6 yrs ago..
2009.. to be exact,,, you told me so many hurtful words... :(
i was hoping to get back with you..
and kept on insisting myself for 3 months...
and i heard you were checking someone new and dating someone else..
going to church with you and etc..
and when you thought she's no good for you..
you came back to me.. :(
after all the hurtful things you said to me..
you came back and i accepted you..
i admit i said bad and hurtful things to you and most of them
are not true and just blurted out because of anger and frustrations..
but u never accept me when i did mistakes.. :(
every time we are breaking up and i come begging for you..
you always reject me...
but when you will come to me...
i always accept you...
haaaaaaaaay
life is truly unfair..
maybe i was the one loving you too much in the relationship...
i became crazy in this relationship..
and im getting back now..
il walk away even if its hurting me all the time..
but i will be fine..
i will not beg anymore...
and even tho i wanted to be with you..
if you will ever come back.. :(
i just wish im over you already...
you be happy with that gelyn girl.. :(
i just hope she will not hurt you the way i hurt you...
i regret doing all the things iv done..
and i will keep all the good memories..
the fun memories..
and will never forget it and will forever keep you in my heart
until the last days of my life.. :(
i still love you but i have to let go before i could no longer feel anything.. :(

iloveyougoodbye

?!

Actually i am a little confused... :(
do you still love me or are you just being polite kaya mo ko nikakausap!? :(
i wanted to ask you if u love someone else..
or if we could still fix this relationship..
but i am too shy to ask.. :( i don't want to ask..
coz i may sound desperate..
but on 2nd thought... why wont i ask!?
err...
if il be regretting it in the future..
oh well...
magpray na lang ako...
pagpapasa Dyos ko na lang tlga..
ano tlga ang nararapat para satin..
naisip ko you were okay naman nung wala ako eh
so baka u dont need me anymore na kaya ganun... :(
im lost..
and i don't know what il do na tlga?!
if to win you back..
or wait for u to love me again..:(
bahala na!!!
:( itutulog ko na lang to..
but i was happy today kasi nag usap tayo..
pero i dont like this feeling na parang awkward.. na parang strangers na tayo agad..
i miss being us..
and i know it is my fault kung baket nagkaganto tayo.. :(
its all my fault :(
im sorry..
:(

missin you

i miss you today..
i don't know why.. :(
i told myself i will not send any message anymore
because i dont want to bother u anymore.. :(
but unfortunately the mug bing gave to me before showed up.. :(
and tom is sept 8... :(
so i sent a message..
i am not expecting u to reply..
but i will get sad if ul not reply... :(
i don't want to get sad anymore..
if u don't want me to bother u or to think about u...
better to block me again so il know where il stand and
so i know when to give up.. :(
i think u like someone already...
i still check ur fb..
and i checked ur checking someone..
gelyn garfin!? so i said if u like someone add them already
hindi un search ka ng search every hour.. :(
felt sad tho.. pero ganun naman mga gusto mo ichura eh.. hehe
:(
oh well...
il go to church today..
will ask for guidance and forgiveness.. :(
and will ask God to bless you.. :(
and to make u happy now..
and to make me happy now and set u free so i will not be a burden to you anymore..
:( i am really praying..
il stop na..
pra ndi na ako nahihirapan.. :(

is it over?

is it really over between us?
i am sorry for all the mistakes i did to you.. :(
i really am sorry.. :(

iloveyou

:(

i know ur not reading this blog anymore...
today i finally told you that i am in a relationship...
i am single.. i just don't know why i said it to you..
i am not in a relationship.. :(
you saw my message then blocked me..
i don't know why i cried... :(
but then khalas...
i am setting u free...
:(
i wish you love my darling boyboy.. :(
i hope ul be blessed abundantly and i hope ul be happy.. :(
i don't know what will happen to me anymore..
i have no plans yet...
:(
will cross the bridge when i get there...
il miss you for sure...
ur the only person i gave soo much love and attention... :(
but unfortunately sometimes it has to come to an end.. :(

goodbye my almost lover.. :(