Lup, tis is 4 u

One by one, they're leaving... leaving the rest behind,
how i wish time could just stop there,
stop at the right time,
when happiness is just around,

JUST stop at the nights we were out,
DOTA.. then Yam Cha... then DOTA again,
OR even the stay over at my house,
and ended up DOTA till breakfast,
i guess there's the end for everything.

One of my best friend is leaving soon,
not far, but still apart,
seriously, i felt very down now,
maybe it's the moments we had together,
all the best, LUP~

I was considered fortunate to have several friends same Uni with me,
but i didn't felt the same, probably one has a GF,
while the other is just still around the neighbourhood.
He wasn't one of my close friends until F6,
but i really appreciate the moment we had.

I wanted to go Sabah,
instead, he was send there,
maybe not his choice,
but i'll wish him all the best there.

P!$t off

I'm torturing myself~

Yes, you didn't see it wrongly, and I didn't wrote it wrongly neither. I felt that I'm asking for trouble. For now, I felt very left behind, unsecured and sad. It wasn't because of anyone, but indirectly things just didn't go on well for me.

Friends, I wonder how many actually reads this? Since my purpose of writing wasn't to impress anyone, instead voice out what's disturbing me, or thoughts that aren't meant to be spoken. I felt this blog is one of my "victim". Tragedy to my anger, companion to my sadness, and my very own secretary.

Everything started from Fri itself, then Sat, Sun and then, today... For what happen would remain unknown, for which I think it would be better to be so. Sometimes I just felt "used", cheated, or just simple as left out. I do wonder how valuable friendship is. Somehow, priority wasn't on me, somehow, I wasn't called. In the end, I kept telling myself that I wouldn't go anyway, that I'm tired, or even it's boring. Lies~

I'm not in a good mood today, mainly because of a misunderstanding happened. Maybe things gone worse after keeping everything to myself, compressing problems and try to forget after the day. Maybe it's just life. Who knows...

Somehow, after bath, I decided to put a stop in futsal & Dota. Weird? Not all all, since I'm not really into soccer ( I can't even dribble well~), I need a get myself back on track. No more sleeping late, waking up EVEN later.

I'm hurt, but not expecting someone to be there, for even I myself can't promise I'll be there for the other half. What a failure~ haha Maybe just life~

Good night TJ, you've been sleeping hardly 5 hours since yest, juz b'coz of promise sum1, and ended up getting things half done, while helping others instead. And I'm expecting you to sleep another 5 hours later after the midnight futsal. You're gonna die early, and I wish that could happen soon.

**I'm not expecting things to get better, nor expecting actions. What has done is done, move forward, and take a bigger step. P/s: not referring to what above<><><><>

Dedicated to you, if you see this

When everyone was anxious about their application, he was one of them,
Expected at least a place within his choice, the confidence was high,
But then, results was not what he expected,
looking at everyone's result, sadness was the only word,
It was maybe luck which he's lack of,
Sorry for him.

I felt sorry not for him, in fact, the rest as well,
For those who didn't get the course they wanted,
Though their marks were much higher than mine,
For those who didn't even get a uni,
For it's everyone's aim (that's why we took F6).
Stand up and aim high, dude~

Life still has to go on,
No matter what,
If I were in his shoes,
I would be worse than him,
at least he's brave enough to face it...

Edited version...

In a weeks time, I need to...

• Get my certs collected, photocopy and certify them.
• Open another bank account (Bumiputra acc) for Uni purpose
• Visit a hair stylist in order to get my hair "LEGAL" in Uni. ( What the crap has the rules gotta do with hair???)
• Get a dozen of my faces ( passport picture), and one more copy in a diskette.
• Borrow/Steal/Ask/Beg for money to do shopping for "proper" attire/clothes to wear in Uni.
• Get my fees done, again, the Beg/Borrow/Steal/Ask thing...
• Have farewell with my friends who's leaving KL ( alright, and those who's not around)
• Meet up with some of my long lost friends, mostly having mid-term break.
• Fill in documents/letters/applications which doesn't seem interesting to me.
• Get my medical check up done.
• And look forward for Uni. ( I bet it's almost the same with those who's gonna enter Uni)

Well, everything seems pretty rush, especially when it's almost end of the month. In 7 days time, I'll be sticking myself in UPM. Sounds great, but still, lots of things are still undone.

It's hard to sit down patiently to blog, despite life's been messy now. Let's start of with the Genting trip.

Collins was late for the bus, sadly but it's true. The shuttle took off by 8.10, and it was only 11 of us there. While the poor guy has to take the other bus, then meet up with us up there. Then, we head up to the top, Genting~ Check in once we arrive (KK booked theme park hotel, which was... Somehow ok, except for the walking part), then took off to the theme park.

The last time I went was 4 years back, and it was also with friends like Saha, Collins, Hoe Leong etc. The crowd wasn't that pack, maybe mostly were busy watching previous night's match ( Eng's fans). The sad part was that Ernest couldn't join us, but Kien Ping took the place instead.

Anyway, had a couple of boring rides (go-kart, merry go round, swing etc), before everyone ( actually I complained the most when it comes to empty stomach~) decided to call time out for lunch.

Kien ping suggested Food court... ( %@#!&&#@, out of all places, FOOD COURT???) Forgive me, not having the purpose to scold or "kutuk" anyone, but it just doesn't sound right for me at first. After all, I wasn't the organizer and mostly agreed to head there. Then, something caught my eye... "STONE GRILL" hmm, "masak dengan batu", sounds nice to me, since the price wasn't that bad after all ( Everything is expensive in Genting, except for the Cotton candy collins bought on the very last day). Next thing, almost everyone ordered the same thing, except Sok Fong (diet, tak makan, scared no one wants her, haha), WYC ( that stone can't fill his black hole), KK, Chee Kong n Kien Ping. #$^*!%&@#$(, thanks to collins recommendation ( no offence), we're like having a BBQ in the food court. haha sounds nice after all. People sweating here, frying their chicken, while holding their stomach. It was so hot that the rest of the gang had to shift to the other table to enjoy their meal. Pity them~

We had bowling after the meal, since no one wanted to vomit right after rides. Sok "Pong" didn't bowl, while they rest had a game to carry on. Wasn't that bad, except for the balls. Arghhh, never mind about it. Saha, as usual, was the most consistent player, followed by kien Ping, Lup & me. At least everyone enjoyed :), even Sok Fong had her nap there. haha

It rained after that, so some of them went for archery. I also had my archery game at Genting few years back. Anyway, we waited for the rain to stop, then continue our rides. I think the best thing would be spending precious moments with friends. Even though some of us hardly have enough of sleep, but we ( more to me) enjoyed the trip.

Joke of the trip:

We (Sok Fong, Saha, Me, Wyc) woke up after a short rest in the hotel, then opted to look for the rest. Once entered theme park again, we ran towards the "swing" ( don't know what is it called...) it was a bit drizzling, but never mind, since it's only a ride. Saha didn't join, maybe because he was afraid of getting himself dizzy. Then, off we go. Being STUPID of us, forgotten that it's still raining. Halfway, rain got heavier, and all of us were SOAKING WET the next moment. The only thing we could do is LAUGH.

**had buffet with Ka Weng, Ming Yew & Melissa today at Shogun 1U. 2nd time there, and almost eat till vomit, haha, but it's seriously enjoying. Maybe Yam Cha next time ok?

Time flies

210606 - 0630

It has been at least 5 hours since I was awake. For the past few hours, has been busy turning myself, while getting some sleep. Probably was the noodles last night, probably was the Dota game, or probably was the thrill and anticipation I had, looking forward for the Genting Trip. CRAP~ Maybe was too used of sleeping by 5, waking up by 3 (PM I meant), while since I woke up, it was... MAGEE MEE, DOTA, DOTA and DOTA...

I must be crazy enough to sit in front of the computer that early, while most people were sleeping. Never mind about that, by 6.30am, Lup gave the morning call he promised he the day before ( since people like me couldn't even wake up on time, lol). My dad eventually woke up before me, so he decided to send me there...

Reach Sentral by 7.05 am...
Meet up with Lup...
Had McD breakfast then while waiting for others...
Took 8am bus... Collins was late, then it all started...

haha Maybe I'm just not in a mood now to write about the trip, somehow I'm looking forward for UN, medical checkup to attend, bank to visit, not to mention going back to school, it's all somehow busy until UN started, and then it's another chapter in life.

Let's see, I have 3 classmates having the same course/same UN as me, not to mention others with different courses. Mix emotions happened here, maybe because friends like Lup is leaving to UMS, Perry to USM, it all seems ... sad right?

My First time, gone~

Looking back at past,
time doesn't wait for people,
i could still remember,
as though it was just yesterday...

My first day in primary school...
My first time taking part in sports... Lari guni
My first time in hospital...
My first time on stage performing... english speaking competition
Then, it was MBS...
My first day of MBS... LATE for school...
My first time got elected as a prefect... it was continued till F6
My first time playing football...
My first time attend campfire... when i was still a scout
My first orientation...
Next, it was...
My first time going out on a date...
My first time holding girls hand...
My first time touching her lips...
Don't ask me who, or when...
But First times are hardly to be forgotten,
First time got elected as vice captain, then captain of sports house,
First time got Gold medal,
First time played bowling,
First time sat on a cruise,
First time went overseas after years back from Nz,
There's so many first times,
Now... anticipating my First time waiting to enter Uni...
And so many more first times,
Time really flies...


**Actually had sleepless nights worry about the uni application, but was fortunate to get into UPM, though i'll miss my friends, especially those going overseas ( haha, you know who i meant), lastly, hope i could meet you again, Ivy. :)

WORLd CUP

It comes to the time where people have excuse not to sleep at night, excuse for not being in office on time, reason for all the supper and snacks they want, and worse, excuse to take MC/Annual leave. It's World Cup fever dude! What's more exciting than sitting in front of the television with a bunch of friends, or family perhaps, and cheer for the team you support?

Television serves the right purpose for those who couldn't afford to be there (air tickets not cheap you know, not to mention others). Perhaps this is 1 of the events everyone welcomed when 2006 approached. I still remember during March, working part time for the 'FIFA Coca-Cola World Cup tour", which was held in Berjaya Times Square, KL. It was a job introduced by Jasmine (thx for it!) , while Sendhil also joined in for it. Buat apa? Just stand there whole day, like traffic police, and you'll be rewarded. Sounds simple right. Perhaps being a prefect last time helped things out. RM200 a day was really worth it, especially when I was desperate for extra cash that moment. Apart from that, we also got gifts, wristband, t-shirts and stuff from the event. It was cool~

Alright, back to the TV. It's really thrilling just to see teams like Brazil, Germany, England, and the other major teams compete. Personally, I don't really support any national team, as long as they play well like one. Being a football supporter, I enjoyed the game very much, though I got sort of complains, or rather comments on how I played ( haiz~). Aggressive? Maybe, there are times I even thought of quit playing football, for other's benefit, LOL. ( wonder what would others react when they see this?)

I'm going out of topic again... Let's sum up some matches I saw.

• Germany vs Costa Rica: 4-2 - didn't really watched the full match ( was busy playing futsal when the opening match started), but saw the highlights... cool match, even without ballack.
• England vs Paraguay: 1-0 - a total waste of time match, watch first 5 minutes and went to sleep (SERIOUS!!!), tactics were bad, passing was awful, plus, it was an own goal...
• Mexico vs Iran: 3-1 - nice match, at least it's a bit balance between 2 sides I should say...
• Australia vs Japan: 3-1 - only watched a few minutes, and I missed the "amazing come back" from Aus.
• Brazil vs Croatia: 1-0 - watched the 1st half, after Kaka's goal, then went to bed... Seems 2nd half was boring passing...
• Germany vs Poland: 1-0 - only the first 40 minutes, when I was at "mamak" with friends after DOTA. No comment...
• Ecuador vs Costa Rica: 3-0 - watched 2nd half, when it was 1-0 from 1st half, not a bad game, with excitement...
• England vs Trinidad & T'go (never heard of it before): 2-0 - 1st half was boring game, especially when Eng almost lost 1 goal to Trinidad. 2nd half was better after Rooney & Lennon came in. Like Gerard's goal compared to Crouch's one...

It's been long since I watched a full match of football, well, I do admit sometimes it get boring. But still, there's plenty of matches to look forward to.

Shui Bu Zao

As days draws nearer to end of the month, the anxious feeling just couldn't be rub off my soul. Indeed, I was a bit worried regarding my Uni application result. Whether I still get into a Uni remains unknown. It seems the "excitement", or rather anticipation has killed some of my brain cells, while I was disturbed throughout several nights over it...

Surprising enough, I woke up 8.45am today ( which doesn't sound that great after all), after spending the night with WYC, Lup Kee, Alex and co in cyber cafe. Reach home by 4.30am previously, it seems I only had 4 hours sleep ( 'n' what's o great about it???). Well, being me, usually it will be sleeping late, and waking up EVEN later, haha. Most of the time, I ended up waking up 3pm, just to watch drama on Astro.

Enough of the "self-praising", so called proud thing, and instead, let's talk about something else. Sometimes I realize I've been somehow lack of appreciating things around me, starting from my room. In weeks, my table was hardly been touched (for study purpose, of course!!!), while my clothes remains stacked up even since it was washed, instead of putting it back nicely to the drawers. On the other hand, my "salt bag" (need not to explain further...) remains "solid" after the last time using it, while the radio serves it purpose well enough (FDO & KDF - For Display Only & Keeping Dust Function)... Sad case indeed. This has already pointed out the problem in me all this while ( and I shall neglect the problem part, just to save some faces here, hehe). True but well, Come on~ Right after graduation, I was attached to working at Goldheart, and it took me almost half a year out of my holidays ( this answers my reason why the table & radio left untouch for so long). Not to worry about the millions of gems floating around in my room, since no one has ever complained, or rather get sick after visiting my room ( haha, joking for sure!)

Excuses~ "If there's a will, there's a way" So i guess there's nothing that can stop one from doing anything huh? WRONG! laziness kills, and so, get rid of it before you enter Uni, friends!

Oh ya, bowling on Tues was great, Thx Wyc, Saha and Chee lih. It was long since i played so many games, while hurting my finger that much, lol. maybe just my day after all. Wed "pasar malam" wasn't that bad either, though it was a walk before DOTA, haha it's been long since i even walk, but i do hope i get to do so more often (fingers cross^ hope i get UKM)

It's morning now, and breakfast time~ :)

Maybe i'll visit grandma today, or even get my proper sleep later, haha

Sometimes love's just ain't enough

I always expect people to change, either for the better or for worst,
I always thought life would be simple, but eversince F5, life was then tougher as days past,
I never look forward for a new beginning, simply because I always looked back,
But I never wanted to turn back, maybe because things would be better this way.

It was the song that i decided to keep on the blog,
Not for it's lyrics, but for it's memories,
People cried for the past,
Cried for the lost,
Or even cry for their pain,
But what reason i have to cry?

I never have hope in love,
it's either i don't have the guts,
or it's me that matters,
But 1 thing for sure,
I treasure it the most,
Sometimes it's better not to love,
'coz it's just ain't enough...

It wasn't easy doing everything, at one minute, you have to worry about the words you use. On the other hand, you're afraid what you said/wrote might offend someone. It's just uneasy. Well, maybe the best choice was to leave things aside, and keep quiet. Acting like a dummy was probably the best solution. Since we were once treated like one...

I never intend to hurt anyone through what I wrote, never the less, to end a friendship of so long. Maybe that's why some of my friends don't voice out what inside their mind and soul. Secrets hurts, kills and disappoints.

Sorry anyway. I'm tired sometimes. It's just too complicated. Maybe i wasn't helping things out at all.

Fool....

ARGH!!!

Yesterday, I spend few hours sitting down here, busy completing my text/article. Then, it happen again...

"...Server down..."

And next, everything I wrote overnight was gone, couldn't be traced back anymore. All the "hardworking" was wasted, washed into the drain. Should I rewrite again? Maybe not, since now my stomach is full with "gasoline" and "fuel" now...


I had a short quarrel with my mom again, thanks to my brother. And it all started with this stupid PC, yes, THIS STUPID PC! Since holiday was around, he was busy spending most of the time with his online game - Maple. I wonder what's so interesting with it anyway. From the moment he woke up, the face of his was never away from the monitor screen, apart from meal times, toilet visits and of course, bathing time. Imagine that! Deeply addicted to it. Alright, almost everyday, from sun rise till moon rise, he'll be there. School holiday huh? Shouldn't he be completing his holiday work, or even project?

Maybe, I noticed his history project - "Keluarga Saya" was lying on his desk, and now in the living room, for weeks, yet he told me before school holidays he's suppose to hand in by end of May. It was obvious that he lied, not the first time. Sometimes when he wants to use the PC (when I'm using of course, night time), he gives rather "perfect" excuse that his teacher just gave them the project/topic today, and needs to hand in tomorrow. And then, ended up printing one slice, then surfing the web/play his game next. What gets into my nerves was his time management, or rather honesty. Alright, I was once his age, and I admit that I was into PC games by that age. But then, shouldn't my parents do something instead?

The expect me to mark his holiday work, which they gave to him ( yet, remained only first 4 pages completed), and control his time with the PC. Result? I just pull out the moderm cable connected to the PC. Maybe I'm EVIL, but it's for his own best.

What happens? He spend whole day with the TV, and then PS2. WTH? Guess he's hopeless, pampered child... Mom said she's doing excately like how she controls us ( me & my 2nd brother), towards him (ya right).

I guess it's just life. Youngest child are always given much more attention. Remembered that I only can touch my portable TV- game when I go back to hometown, what provided I finish up my holiday works everyday. Now, he owns the TV in his room, self-proclaim the PS2, which neither two of his brothers bothers, blablabla...

Jealous? Maybe, but I just can't understand parents. Just Admit that you all pamper him. I'm already used to it. When I made a mistake, I get scolding and so. When it comes to him, just a smile, and that's it.

Well, I sometimes do wonder, how other friends of mine. Having great relation with their sisters/brothers, would eventually take their siblings out for movie, or even supper. I might be close with my second brother, as for the youngest, maybe it's the age gap that set things apart.

I wish sometimes there's someone in this family who understand how I feel, and speak out for me. Maybe I'm not a good example of an elder brother anyway, simply because I don't want to be one. I just hope you'll be there when I needed you, though I know it's not possible.

I hope i could leave home soon. I'm also fed up with things around me, maybe it's time to make a move forward.

Sunday, which sounds more like SADday to me

I felt miserable, I was treated badly, that what upsets me today. Sigh~ planned to shop for my colleagues' birthday presents, after failing to buy, after several attempts. At first thought, Li Ting asked me to go KLCC, then, Yuen Cheong seemed making a plan out. Next, Lup Kee was going out with Chin. After that, a cold-blooded text message came from no where... "Kk said no movie, u go on for your plans..." Last, ended up sleeping whole day at home. (Kinda funny right?)

Maybe being too close, at times, misunderstanding does happens. Sometimes, well, most of the times, we forget what happen once we put our heads onto the pillow ( after 1 night sleep). Let's put this aside, and rather discuss something more interesting...

• It all started with a football game, which I wasn't involved in it.
• The younger brother was the organizer, which so happen he was part of the player on the field.
• It all started with a small, silly conflict between 2 players on the pitch, still, I'm not involved.
• Then, things went worse, and both sides started being aggressive, yet the referee couldn't handle things.
• The younger brother decided to take charge, but it doesn't seem fair for the other side of the players.
• So the elder brother decided to step down, and help things out.
• Being curious, I sat there with Saha, watching every moment of the classic event, since these things don't really happen.
• The younger brother eventually send the opposite player off, and the poor referee was standing in the middle of the field, not knowing what to do.
• Being a spectator, do you think it's wise and fair of the brother to do so? When I voice out: "Mind as well send his friends and himself out.. blablabla"
• Next, the elder brother pushed me down to the floor, simply can't stand someone critics his younger brother.
• Maybe I'm being a bit direct, but at that moment I felt like punching his face, despite knowing him for 7 years, being same class, same sports house, and even staying the same area.
• Never tried being offended that bad in front of my friends, and since then there wasn't any sign of conversation.
• Would you forgive him?
• "Not making enermies, neither making friends"...
• That time, I expect an apology, well, it doesn't really matters now.

I never intend to mess things up, or making other friends of mine feel uneasy of it. It's just a personal conflict of mine, and doesn't really matter. After all, I felt I didn't make any mistake.

Back to yesterday, Met up with Chia Chi, my johor friend who I knew her during the Sarawak seminar 2 years back. Had some drink before sending her back (all the way to Wangsa Maju, God!!!). It's nice meeting up with friends aboard, since I'm kinda fed up of KL's hectic lifestyle. Begging to be transferred away from here ASAP. I do hope I get enroll into some Uni which I prefer. Anyway, 1 more month to enjoy, meeting up with mayz, my aunty tomorrow. haha

Chia Chi :)

PIC OF LangKawi (Sec 2)

It's a bit unusual for putting up Pictures of a trip late. But It's part of the effort, after a long, relaxing trip~

Scene 1: !st day taken, in cable car...

Scene 2: At the Jetty...

Scene 3: (Err, where this came from huh?)

`Oh Ya, at the cable car...

Scene 4: Paddy field... Great atmosphere, but never was my top choice of vacation :P

Scene 5: Lup Kee & Sok Fong "gambling" in the jetty, on our way back. naughty~

Pic 1: The crowd at the top of the mountain.

Pic 2: Another display of the statue

Pic 3: 1 of the Magnificient sights

Pic 4: Wyc & Me

Pic 5: The jetty

Open House :P

Yesterday, it was Sendihl's 20th birthday, and everyone was invited to his open house. Being me, it was rather unusual for arriving there late, mainly because I'm always punctual ( ya right). Anyway, since Wai Kin doesn't know the way there, I had to be his mentor/guide, waiting for him to finish his family dinner ( it was the Chinese "Duan Wu Jie" festival, where everyone eats rice packed in leaves)... - forget about the description, it's horrifying to describe what kind of days you undergo each time.

Back to the open house, I was surprised to find myself "early" - while the rest of the VIPs opted to be later than me. haha Soon, the flow was soon coming in, one by one, each jokers, I mean, friends appeared, and things got hot up! Sendhil was a bit tensed up, which I understand totally, it's not easy being the organizer and the host, haha

Randy, YM, JF, CCS, Wai Kin, WYC, Collins, Prisy, Bervina, Andre, Jit Ming, Lup, Alex, Ernest, Sook yee, Lee Keng, Suresh, Nilesh, Teng Chia... bla bla bla the crowd it's just too... Huge!!! Not to mention his college friends. Had some dinner/supper, which was his mom's dishes... Mouth watering food again, where most of us who are close with his family knows. haha

The main thing was just chatting, and get back to old friends/classmates. It was great in general. Eventually went for Dota right after that, With Alex and his Brother along...

Alright, the bad habit is back - sleeping by 3-4am, and wake up 12 hours later... Been losing all my time management, if I ever learnt, haha