Wow has it been a while or has it been a while? I always say that I will get better at writing and posting, but lets be honest...blogging has never been my strong suit. Whenever I think that I should blog I realize that my life is probably pretty boring compared to most. I mean, who wants to hear about my work and dating woes? Then I remember that no matter how excited my blog posts are, no one really reads them anyways, so who cares? I guess its more of a journaling thing, where I just pour my thoughts onto the computer page and hope for the best. That's all I can really do in this world full of people who don't care (at least that's the impression they want). Not caring is a defense mechanism, a way to get out easy. By doing this, they aren't humbling themselves, admitting to their faults, and letting others in to help). People are afraid that if they listen and if they can learn from the people around them, that it makes them look weak. So all I can do is put it all out there, share my thoughts and feelings. Put my heart on my sleeve, and hope that someone out there reads this blog and learns something from me because that's the whole point in us all living on this planet together. To learn and lean, be supportive and let yourself be supported.

I have always considered myself a bit of a deep thinker. I like my solitude sometimes, where I can just sit and think, with no distractions. I feel like it is my mental workout. Going back for a minute to what I was saying about people having defense mechanisms.You see those people that are never by themselves? Ever? This is one of the most common tendencies of people who have their walls up. They cant go anywhere or do anything on their own. And I'm not talking about a trip to the grocery store or getting to class on time. Its when their opinions change with whoever they are with or they rely too much on other people to sculpt their personality and perspective. There is such thing as an unhealthy amount of leaning, there needs to be a balance between leaning and being leaned on. A part of growing up and realizing who we are is to be able to be by ourselves. Not in an antisocial or physical way at all, but to just be comfortable to sit and think, have independent opinions, regardless of the company. One has to feel comfortable in their own skin before they can share it with someone else successfully and supportively.

Which is the next point I would like to make. A relationship most likely isn't going to work if one of the two isnt a learner or a leaner. These two things are the basics of a successful human relationship. Learning and leaning. Like I said, there needs to be a balance. Someone cant be all leaning and no being leaned on. Also with learning. The relationship isn't going to work if one person is all teaching and no learning. It is a give and take. When you ask someone what they want in their future spouse or best friend the most common responses are: "respect" "good listener" "loves me no matter what". These are all very valid points and people should want these and expect them. But what about when the couple is faced with a hard decision? A decision that they don't agree on? Those three points come in handy right about here. Now lets incorporate learning and leaning in with these three expectations when making the decision. Learning. Before they even discuss the decision, each member of the relationship should have this question in their head, "is there something I can learn from him/her in this discussion?". This way humility is set in even before anything happens, therefore automatically making them both good listeners. Now leaning. They need to realize that that other person is their spouse. At one point they made a promise to each other to work things out in hard situations. They promised each other that they were no longer two people, but one. So making this choice shouldn't make them pull against each other as independents, but push towards a better "them", a middle ground. Without even realizing it, they have incorporated respect, respect of the mutual Goals and dreams of each other.

If you follow those basics, love comes on its own. Love comes when both people do all they can to make each other the best-version-of-themselves.


I hope you guys all enjoyed what I had to say. This is my passion. The emotional connections between people and why people do what they do. So I hope that it made sense. I would like to think I got the right idea or somewhere close :)

Dear Grandma, I Love You

A Walk in the Moonlight

Valentine's Day dance! Isaac altered his own suite and was very proud of it. he liked "busting the moves"!!

Crew

I joined Crew! Everyday after school I go down to the boat house and row for two and a half hours. It is definitely the best two and a half hours of my day. I am getting stronger everyday and I dont ever feel bad about eating anymore! I can actually look at the food i am eating and think "i am eating this because my body needs it, not because my body wants it". It's the coolest feeling!

This is me and my boat on the way to my first race! It was in Sacramento and it was so fun!

our new deck!!! well......the process of it....

EFY!!!!!!!!

so, every one.........i went to EFY!!!!!!! it was amazing of course and awesome! it was the most spiritual, motivating, amazing church event i have EVER been to and i would pay millions to go again!!me and two boys in our company: blake and zack (with the coolest tie ever!)
me and my boys!!! i love 'em!!! we went to gether to the same efy on accident and it was awesome. im REALLY glad i went with them becuase i got to know them really good and become super good friends with all of them!
mark, kevin, me, kyle, and taylor

haha here is taylor.......happy becuase he crunched my chip.......you can see the debri on the ground next to him. i gave him a chip and he smashed it!!! haha inside joke.......

and of course my favorite cousin!!!!! well.......like 5th cousin! vanessa was the one who invited me, her and her family and i stayed with them at a condo and it was fun! me and her laughed ALL week together!! we were never split apart!

me and the two music directers, they were really nice and the music program was awesome!

me and disney! at efy, kyle was obssessed with swedish fish and ate more than four pounds of them!! so disney would come find him and load his shirt pocket full with them!! me and vanessa would stuff them in there like crazy! haha

this is chelsey, THE best speaker i have EVER heard in my entire life!! she spoke about repentence and it was awesome, i balled my eyes out!! she was SO cool!

this was one of the teachers, brother wilde. he was so funny!! he had the best first kiss story ever!!!

this was another teacher, brother........oh my gosh i completely forgot!!!!! well he was an awesome speaker, he was definitely one of my favorite!!

then of course taylor, we were waiting for lunch and we were bored......haha. taylor came with the boys and he wasnt a member but on the last day, when we were telling everyone our goals for after efy, he stood up and said that he was going to get baptized!!! and a week later, he did! he's awesome!

Dance!!

so last night i went to "S" day and the dance!
well first of all, we got there late. we had to take two people there and we got there about 5 minutes late . me and my friend sat down and joined in the song. then after that we watched the videos we were supposed to make as a ward. i was mary in mine.......it was interesting. then after that we went into the cultural hall and had top gun!!! for any of you who dont know what that is, it is a big competition for scripture mastery. there are two rows of chairs facing eachother and you have someone across from you that you compete with. elder childers would start reading a scripture mastery and then the first person to find it in the pair would win and stay in. the amount of people went down VERY quicky and soon it was only me, tammy, and john floyd!! so after going against eachother a few times, it got down to me and tammy. i was freaking out!! elder childers of course noticed that and started to turn the pages VERY slowly!! then he started reading Romans 1:16 and it was good that it was that one because it is one of my favorite!! i found it in no time and threw my open scriptures in the air and tammy was one page away!!! i couldnt beleive it! i had beat tammy at top gun!! so we went back into the relief society room and i got presented with a plaque and it was awesome!!!
then of course we had a dance afterwards which was AMAZINGLY fun like always!!!

just a little optimism for the world.....

i realize sometimes at how much this world needs optimism! sometimes i just want to turn to the person next to me and ask "are you EVER happy at ALL?" i just love to enjoy life to its fullest, everything that comes up i try my hardest to see the best in it.
i mean, what else do i need in this world? i have a huge family of 12 who i consider them my very best friends and i would do anything to spend time with them, i have a big house that i have lived in all my life, i have humboldt, the most amazing, green, wet place on earth! and best of all, i have the gospel! everything that i do, say or think is centered on the church and the gospel. sometimes i try to think of a life without it and i cant. there wouldnt be anything worthwhile to do and you wouldnt get anywhere in life!!
i think about this as i work on scripture mastery for seminary. i have memorized ALL, every single one!! 25 scriptures for S day! i can match the flashcards in less than two minutes and i can write them all down in a peice of paper in 6. then my mom tested me and i was able to look up every scripture with only knowing the key word without even pausing!!!! i'm sorry to brag, but i have noticed a difference in my day, i can feel happier and i think about the words in the scriptures and i have the spirit with me all the time. i encourage everyone, even if you are not in seminary, to learn and memorize those scriptures because you will never know when a missionary experience will come to you!
i am trying out for limited edition for school and anyone who doesnt know what that is, it is a special singing class at the high school. the auditions started on monday and are going through the entire week. when i went on tuesday (i missed monday), i was VERY nervous!!! i had never gone for a singing class before and i didnt know if i was ready for it. but on tuesday a girl that was already from limited came up to me and told me she liked hearing me sing and that i knew what i was doing!!! i was SO happy that i at least LOOKED like i knew what was going on.......then yesterday me and three altos went into the back room to practice their part (i was only listening) and halfway through the song, i jumped in adn started singing the soprano part all by myself and i got the loo loo part right!!!! that part is THE hardest part of the song especially because we are singng it acapella.
well anyways, i wanted to put some optimism out there for all of you who are just not feeling quite that positive, because optimism is what the world really needs right now!!!

My Birthday!!!!!!

I'm fifteen!!!!!! yay!!!!! so little did i know......my mom and family were plotting an evil plan against me for my birthday.......haha not really, i had a suprise birthday party!!! it was so amazingly fun!!
so me and my mom went to dinner and after dinner we went to the dollar store to get whatever, i dont really know. my mom walked up every single aisle of that store!!!! i was like.....ok mom! when we finally got onto our street we drove to the house and for some odd reason marissa mcCay was in my driveway!!! i was like "what?!" then her parents drove away and she ran inside. things by this time were getting a little fishy......then i noticed that there were a multiple number of vehicles surrounding the house and i knew that they werent ours! so i went inside, very confused and befuddled and to my suprise marissa was nowhere in sight!! my grandparents were standing and talking to my dad!! so i said hi to them and thanked them for coming and then i turned to my dad and asked him permission to go upstairs. after his consent i walked up the stairs and i noticed that the house was WAY to clean for a normal day and tammy was waiting for me at the table with a camera!!!! that was it, i KNEW there were people hiding in my house. i looked around and i found them sitting on my stairs!! there were ten crazy people in my house!!!!!
so then we just had a great time and hung out and it was so amazingly fun! some people from crescent city came down and from arcata came too and it was realy awesome!
this was one of the funnest coolest birthdays EVER!


well.......now that i am fifteen.......i dont feel much different and i didnt earn many more privilages.........so now i am kind of over it and now i want 16!!!! then i can be a REAL teenager with reckless abandonment!!!!

thanks everyone for the AMAZING birthday!!!!!

wow its been a little time!!

so today is the last day before SPRING BREAK!!!!! i am SSOO excited!!!!

some ideas of what i want this week of weeks to look like

lots of longboarding
laying in the sun
water bolloon fights
cake baking
music blasting
dancing
finishing my art project for english......
wrestle with isaac
get pumped for the dance which is in two weeks (!!!!!!!!)
go to the temple on saturday for tammys parents sealing!!!!
have the best birthday EVER!!!!!!!


and yeah.........this spring break is going to be the best break EVER!!!
it is my birthday week and i want to make the best of it and hope that all of you that have spring break to have an AWESOME spring break!!!!
sing loud and laugh hard!!!!

a few places i want to go before i die.....

yosemite falls would be amazing!!

th northern lights are rare and i love the sky....this would be truly amazing.... and of course.....the famous medley place to go, half dome, the coolest rock EVER!!!

niagra falls has always been a place that i needed to go to!

the great wall of china is so cool and that would be awesome if i could tell people, "i went to the great wall of china!!"
aahhhh...the eiffel tower.....so amazing and romantic!!

this would probably scare me half to death to see this, but it would still be cool to see!

This is why i live in humboldt county....

beautiful sunsets, the pacific ocean, giant redwoods, and wedding rock to sit on to enjoy it all!!!

some MORE favs....

ratatat makes me want to get up and rock out.....especially when it is really loud in the car!!!

chris thile. is. my. FAVORITE!!!! i could listen to this album over and over and never get sick of it!!


hot hot heat rocks!!!!

josh groban.....wow......he makes me feel epic!

and of course....i HAD to put these guys in here!!! move along!