things has just turned out to be a mess, a huge mess..
and i dun know how the hell did we end up in this kind of situation..
i think there's too much of misunderstanding between us..
and too much of talking about things in the past..
maybe when things happened, we shud try to let it go and concentrate on the future..
i dun know..
maybe it's me mishandling everything..

since when have i stopped caring?
since when have i lost the interest in you?
i'm doing all i can to show you how much u mean u to me..
whenever u need me, i will always be by ur side..
u said u wanted to meet up after midnight, i agreed..
i waited till ur msg before leaving home..
u said u wanted to spend the night with me, under the night sky, looking at the stars..
i went to pick you up when the time is right..
u went out with ur friends, and u said u are tired, not feeling well..
i came down all the way to wherever u are to pick you up..
are doing all these not enough? tell me..
these things i did, is only for you..
for you to know that, whatever happens, whatever u're going through, i'll always be there for you..
yes, i might nag abit when u asked me to pick u up or do something, but it's only for a while and i eventually will have a good time with you..
that's just a moment of, nk membebel je..
no matter how tired i am, i just dun want to leave you alone..
believe it or not, i would change anything just to make u happy and in order to meet you..
seeing you for at least 5 mins can just make me smile..

and yes, maybe i get angry at you more often..
but u think back, if u hadn't done anything wrong, would i ever get angry?
i dun even want to scold you, it makes me sad as well..
and i only get angry for awhile, well, looking at ur face just makes me smile..
it's like u got the magic to make me cool down..
and despite me getting angry, i still stood by you, trying to take good care of you..
when things happened, u can't always expect me to always pujuk-pujuk you..
there are times when i'm irritated also, i got feelings too..

then there was the call issue..
till now i think that has never been resolved..
i tried to call you whenever i can..
really, i tried..
i just dun know what's going on around you..
i told you to just tell me, not leave spaces between ur sentences and asking me to figure it out..
i told you i can never figure it out correctly..
u think i dun want to hear ur voice?
u think i dun want to talk to you after every end of the day?

but after everything i've said, i'm not saying that u are not doing anything..
yes u are trying to make this relationship work too..
there are times when u pampered me, when u help me put on a shirt, and me asking baby, asal u nk pakai kan i..
u replied, i nk manje-manje kan u tk boleh..
or when u cook food for me when i said i'm hungry and lazy to cook..
and that's when i irritate you in the kitchen, till u chase me out..
u know just typing about this has alrdy made me smile a couple of times..
we had such a great time together, where did all that go to?
(damned i'm just being bitten by a mosquito)

we had been together for more than a year..
we have act like small kids, know each other deepest secrets, doing the most ridiculous things together..
i wouldn't trade that for anything else..
u're the one that i love, the one i want to spend my whole life with..
i believe we are made for each other..
seeing how we just click at the beginning, when the green light turns on..
i've never felt so comfortable with other girls, like i do with you even before we got together..

next was u trying to make me close to ur family..
i'm trying, i'm trying so hard just like how u are trying..
i've told you its going to be hard..
it's hard for me to face them, it takes time..
u know what happened..
really, after what has happened..
i'm sorry if this is tiring u out..
but i'm really, really trying.. :(
u really have to understand me on this, put u in my shoes..
see the way it is in my way..
i'm alrdy doing things, it takes time to go up to the next level..
maybe, things are starting to backfire..
or maybe we are rushing things so little..

u keep telling me to go figure things out myself..
u asked me to ask myself what i'm supposed to do..
but how can i do that when im not a mind reader?
you put me through everything, but, you don't get me too..
we're both stubborn, let's face it..
but sometimes we need to understand each other better and learn from it but i can't do it without you..

lastly, i just feel like saying this..
u have too many guy friends around, and being you, u entertain them..
that doesn't make me feel right, if u know what i mean..
i really hope u know what i'm talking about on this part..

on my part, i'm really sorry for everything that i've put u through..
i love you more each passing day and i just want the best for you..
and i know sorry can't help much, it's just a word..
despite everything that has happened, everything i'm doing has you in it, u have a part to play..
after typing all these, i'm alrdy prepared to start afresh with you..
put behind all that has happened and we try over again..
i'm sure we can do it..
now it's ur turn..
there's this time-out between us..
i just hope u get back to me as soon as u read this..
i think till then, i shud give you some space..

Labels: dilemma

i'm missing this wonderful gf of mine, terribly.. :(
i dun know how things between us got so tensed, so strained..
am i really changing ?
am i throwing attitude for no reason ?
i dun know.. :(
but if i am, i'm really sorry baby..
i didn't mean it..
u know, it felt like years ago since i heard ur laughter..
the innocent, wonderful laughter, which always put a huge smile on my face..
bee, i ♥ you..

Labels: aqilahoreth.

hello people !
i'm back.. hahaha.
its been a long time eh.. :)
sorry la, but i've been busy..

school's been stressful..
wanna know why?
cause there's alot of projects going on..
and if u guys wanna know, i hate projects..
i like things to be done when i want, at my own timings..
i dun like it when i have to keep thinking about it and thinking about whether my other group mates have completed their part for the work to be compiled up..
and most of the time, they never do their work..
how suckish is that eh?
and in my 2 years in ngee ann poly, usually in a group, i'm always the one on task even though i slacked cause i will do whatever the 'group leader' asked me to..
but this time round, its seems like i'm the 'group leader' and i hate it..
and if i dun take the initiative, things will never get done in my group..
year 3, please pass by fast..!

it is without a doubt, i am tired..
my body is tired..
but i'm enjoying what i'm doing, mainly cause i get to do the things that i want to do?
i dun know..
right now, all my priorities and my targets are all jumbled up..
i really shud sit down quietly and think back about what i really want..
cause right now, i see me going nowhere, except for the fact that i'm earning money..
what happened to all the things i set myself out to do?
what happened to priorities when common test is coming and i'm not putting a stop to working?
come on boy, this is not the year to be fooling around..
if my studies are going to be jeapodized, then i think its time i shud put everything to a stop and reverts to my old ways..
that would be much better right?
though i will be sleeping most of the time, well at least i can have time to do my school work..

okay, all that typing and i dun know where the hell i'm heading to..
cause right now, in my head, all i can think about is you..
i miss you, and since when did things between us get so awkward?
well, off to bed i go then..
good night everybody..
and i love you, A.O..

Labels: updates :)

i'm back !

life been too busy..
working, schooling and my sunday soccer..
i barely have time for my mum and family..
that i'm starting to miss my mother..
weird, but true..
last sunday was mother's day and my mum's birthday..
my 2nd sister gave my whole family plus my nenek and cousin a treat at bottle tree park at sembawang..
but i came late cause i got my sunday soccer..
i tried to rush there but still didn't make it in time..
by the time i reached, they are getting ready to leave and i felt so disappointed with myself..
but i still wished my mum and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek..
everyone say awwww..
hahaha !
sorry mum, at least i got to spend time with you after that..
we went to sembawang shopping centre, talking at kopitiam and enjoying ourselves at the arcade.. :D

anyway, now i finally know what it feels like to work and school at the same time..
and even though i worked for a few hours each day, i still feel the tiredness..
i'm still trying to adapt myself to the huge change cause obviously, i'm the one who loves to sleep and take nap in the afternoon..
but i love what i'm doing..
keeping myself busy and not doing nothing but rotting away at home..
at least i'm doing something productive.. :)


before i end, something for you dear.. ♥



i'm sorry sayang..
for things that i do which i didn't mean it..
really..
yes, what u said is true..
those little small things is what's important..
i just want you to know, i never really realized it..
i never realized what i'm doing till you say it out..
i never took you for granted, and i dun ever want to lose you..
i still remember what happened between us few months after we got together and i dun want to go through that again..
u know how much i love you, it can never be measured..
i'm sorry honey..
give me time to adapt myself ok..?
u know how i was before i started working, my life was totally different..
now, i'm still trying to juggle everything out..
i promise, things will get better..
i love you, aqilah oreth.. ♥

Labels: mother's day. mum's birthday. honey.

i miss my gf ! :(
she went over to batam to spend the weekends with her daddy this morning..
it feels kinda weird now, with no one nagging at me.. haha.
i'm going to spend 2 days 1 night without her and we can't even contact each other..
i hope u are taking good care of yourself !
i love you..


anyway, yesterday night was late-night-movie-outing with the guys..
we went to watched iron man 2..
the tickets are selling so fast la, and luckily we managed to get our seats at the cathay..
it was a 2.15 movie, and after the movie we all headed straight home..
i only had less than 2 hours of sleep la, before i had to go off to work..
and i was late..
i didn't even hear my alarm ring and luckily for me, my sayang called me to wake me up..
thank you sayang ! mcm tau je eh i tk bangun.. clever girl ! :P

and guess what..
during working hours, whenever there's no order, i can just fall asleep within seconds..
and today the orders so slack, even though it's a public holiday..
i was kinda expecting a busy day, but its okay..
at least i get to rest my eyes.. hahaha !

tomorrow's game is at 3pm..
baik uh, finally i can get the chance to wake up late..
but i think i will still wake up early, cause my body system has alrdy been "set".. haha.
and i'm praying hard it doesn't rain !
cause it hasn't been raining for the past 2 days..
please, oh pleaseee dun rain..!

okay, i'm going gaming mode now.. :D
sleep well tonight sayang..!

Labels: batam.iron man2.

<3 snorlax ! :P

its been so long since my last update..
actually i dun know what i've been busy with, but i know i'm busy..
and now, since i got time from my break, i decide to update.. :)

the new semester has started..
means, year 3 and fyp..
i dun like this 3rd year..
everything has all been jumble up and there's alot of project to be done, other than my fyp..
i'm not in the same class as my last 2 year, and there's no more that fun and happy classmates of mine..
well, this is life uh?
i hate projects, and i dun like designs..
but, in class just now, i managed to sketch the interior of a hair dryer..
and my friend says its nice ! :D
cool eh ? hahahaha.

and there's so many things in my mind right now..
so many things to pay and needs to be done..
currently, i have just started working at macdonalds at forum..
can say, its okay..
cause orders are sent out every time time and we can get more dockets..
which i aim to bring home at least $10 for every working day for 4 hours..
hahaha.
i'm still trying to 'tune' my body clock though..
to get use to working and schooling at the same time..
well, this is the thing that i want for myself, so i have to work hard for it..
but i dun know whether i can managed or not..
things are always not easy to get, and maintaining it, is another thing itself..

ok, just a short update..
i'm going for my class right now..
till next time !

Labels: 3rd year.

i had a date with this wonderful gf of mine on the 30/03/10.. :D
we went to town, since this girl uh, keep pestering me to go jalan-jalan around town.. :P
saying she hasn't been to town for a very long time..
on the brighter note, i has the whole day with her..
i picked her up at 8am and send her home at 10pm..
brought her over to my house first la, then to town at ard 12plus..
we settled for a movie at the cathay called, when in rome..
after that, went to forum mac to meet up with syukri and suprisingly, he gives up a treat..
haha. thanks eh syuk !

i can never ask for more from this gf of mine..
i always have a wonderful time with her and we always tend to do the weirdest thing together.. haha !
but baby, only 1 thing, can you pls stop getting angry with me over the slightest thing ?
i love you snorlax !

and btw, i passed my bike license alrdy ! =D
on last monday which i only get 8 points.. :P
and yesterday, i went night riding with zul, mok, zam, idris, aceh, muadz, ferza, mirul and wan..
it was great experience, cause its was raining for a moment..
so i can get used to it, but its so cold at night !
different from air-con cold..

ok la, i'm lazy alrdy..
going to gaming now !

Labels: night riding.

its been 14 days since my last update..
well, life been boring la, nothing to update.. that's why.. haha.

i've gotten my results for my last semester..
i can't complain much about the results cause its what i've put into for the whole semester..
well, at least i didn't fail any module right.. :)

and its been the raining season now..
i like it, cause its so cooling..
but i only hope it won't rain on the 28th and 29th of march.. :D
cross fingers !
and yesterday, while i was driving, i nearly had an accident due to the slippery road..
i would usually take notice of 2 cars before me, so i would be able to reaction necessary, but yesterday, i didn't..
mayb cause i was tired and sleepy..
in any case, luckily nothing happened..



yesterday was our 7th month..
though we couldn't had the whole day to ourselves, i'm glad i still get to spend time with her..
better still !
we spend the night watching a movie at my house.. =D
just the 2 of us while the rest of my family is sleeping..
after the movie, we managed to catch a short 30 mins sleep before i had to send her back..
i love you baby !

Labels: 7 month.

this week has been practically meet-the-girlfriend week..
i've been meeting her everyday since monday..
this is because she has school camp and we met to have supper at al-azhar after midnight..
and today, she surprised me at my house ! :D
she told me she was busy packing and all, but instead she was making her way to my house..
thanks baby, appreciate it very much.. :)

this whole week has been a very slack week for me..
slept and woke up after 12noon..
eat sleep, eat sleep..
but never grow fat-fat..
hahaha.

and finally i managed to call singtel to add in football channels..
i keep forgetting about it since monday la..
then when i remembered, it has alrdy past their office hours.. -_-
so, can watch champions league football ! :)

and i'm still thinking whether to cut my hair..
cause its like the holidays now and i'm spending most of my time at home..
cut hair like for what right..
i'm irritated by it, and so is girlfriend..
haha !

alright, i want to go gaming now.. :)
feel so fresh after showering cause i just got back from playing soccer..
bye !

Labels: meet-the-girlfriend-week.

i will hold your hand close to mine, never wanting to let it go. ♥
i'm sorry for everything..

anyway, its the end of my year 2..
which means its the holidays..
which also mean, staying at home, eating, sleeping and rotting cause i dun have any job to do..
haha.

i'm just waiting for the time to pass till its the 29th of march..
i can't wait !
haha.

ok that's all..
bye !
hahahaha

<3 i love you, snorlax !

okay, its been a long time eh..
haha.
lazy la..
plus i got examinations going on and i'm practically studying everyday..
except for weekends la..
putting my butt for hours on the chair till late night and my maid ckp, "eh boy, kamu dari siang tadi sampai skrg tk mau tido lagi? sudah pukul brape nie.."
and guess what, tomorrow is my last paper and i dun have the mood to study anymore.. holiday mood alrdy..
oh man, not now !
now, i'm still considering whether to go meet my friends at RP to study or not..
even though they were there since 12pm.. hahaha !

anyway, yesterday after my paper, i went out with baby aqilah..
she lie to me !
saying she's at vivo, padahal she is alrdy in sch waiting for me..
haha !
no la, she surprised me actually..
we were quarreling before we met la, so going out would be the best way to resolve everything.. :D
we went to watch Valentine's Day at vivo..
it was awesome ! hahaha !
got some parts, my baby was laughing loudly in the cinema all by herself..
hahaha ! dumb-dumb.. :P
and before that, we got at least 2 hours to ourselves before the movie start, so we went to eat and just sat down and talk..
after the movie, we had to rush to her house cause she is alrdy late..
hahaha.
thanks for yesterday sayang !

ok, bye !
i can't wait for 29 march 2010~!

Labels: vivo.

when u're with me, its like the rest of the world doesn't exists..
we are in our own world, full of laughters and nothing seems to matter.. ♥

finally a huge burden is done..
went to settle it in the morning with my 2nd sister but i still have to down back there on the 19th of next month to confirm everything..
it just make me think twice of going out at late night till everything is fully settled..
how the hell did i end up in this mess? haiz..

this week marks the last week of my year 2..
after that it would be the upcoming exams, and insyallah, year 3 !
i hate this term exams dates..
cause the spaces between the dates is so far apart..
which makes it longer to the holidays..
but on the second thought, at least this way, i can have time to study, eh?
hmmm...
anyway, i'm now mugging for 1 of my hardest paper for this semester..
gonna stay in sch tomorrow and continue studying till test time at 5.30pm..
i'm gonna own the paper this time round !
hahaha. cause i failed the common test, but passed my retest though.. :)

well, every semester, there's always 1 or 2 modules which is difficult..
but by going the extra mile and putting in more effort, i managed to get by it..
though this term, seems the hardest of all, i'm sure i can do it..
let's go boy !

and i had wanted to work for this february monnth..
but till now, my uncle hasn't called me to report for work..
haiya, spoil everything la..
and now, the 2nd week of february is going to end soon..
this is one of the reasons why i hate planning..
it always doesn't turn out the way it supposed to be..
but hey, life without plannings has much more thrills eh..
right, right? hahaha.

and i'm going to miss my baby aqilah..
she's going over to batam again to spend the weekends with her dad cause he had to work..
this time, its 4 days ! or even longer.. :(
and tomorrow, she's leaving while i'm having my paper..
so can't talk to her before she leave..
how much worst can it get uh?
bee, i miss youuu alrdy..

alright, till here..
as much as i want to go to my room and sleep, i have to wait up for nizam..
he said he'll be coming over at ard 1am plus to collect some stuffs.. -__-
so i guess, i'll just lie down on the sofa..
hoping i will not fall asleep ! :P

i love aqilah oreth !

this is what happened when u leave ur laptop unattended in class..
it will get 'raped' by ur classmates..
hahaha !

looks like i've been missing for some time eh..
haha.
no mood la to update !
and i dun know why.. hahaha

anyway, sch's been alright..
its coming to en end soon and lots of work and projects are piling up..
but i'm able to manage..
most of the work all have been done..
now, the only thing is to get myself ready for my exams, which my 1st paper would be on 12 feb..
and some work due next week..
scary, scary..
the last thing i want is to retake a module.. :/
hopefully not la.. *praysprays*




i had a great time with aqilah yesterday..
we took pictures while waiting for her friends to arrive but didn't managed to get a jump shot after countless of times..
hahaha.
thanks to her sister for helping us taking the pictures.. :)
but good things doesn't always have a great ending..
baby, i'm always here for you okay..
i <3 you..

ok, that's all..
my class end alrdy..
bye !
i update my blog alrdy la, mak nenek and snorlax !
hahahaha ! :p

i made this 3D sketch for 1 of my module..
nice right ?
hahahah.
its so cool leh.. :)

aniway, this week has been the wear-the-same-colour for me and girlfriend.. :D
we wore black on tuesday and red on wednesday..
hahaha. we are just being random..
but still, i just love being with her..
baby, u owe me something..
one is curly fries date and the other is, u know what it is la eh.. :P

and i dun know why i'm suddenly having difficulties waking up in the morning..
seriously..
i just couldn't bring myself out of bed and i keep snoozing my hp alarm till i'm alrdy late..
then after that, had to rush to school..
dumb right..

lastly, i need to start working again soonnn !
but i just have to wait till february..
there are things that just needs to be done..

eh wait, wait !
have i said that elly is getting cleverer ?!
yes she is..!
she can answer our questions now..
so cuteee.. haha.

alright, i want to go makan now..
i <3 you, snorlax !

Labels: 3Dsketch

my baby made the above picture..
nice right? :P
haha !

happy 5th month sayang !
i love you.. <3
need i say more?

i can't wait to meet you later.. :D

Labels: 5th month.