There's a chain of interviews making the blog rounds and it goes like this. A blogger posts an interview that someone conducted of himself, and the first commenter may then request to be interviewed by the blogger, and must then post that interview to his own blog, where he must also agree to interview the first commenter that requests it. Below is Cory's interview of me, check out his site for Kevin's interview of him, Kevin's site for Rich Copley's interview of him, Rich Copley's site for someone's interview of him, and so on backward, apparently all the way to someone named Allison Kerr, whom I don't know.

1. There’s a mandatory class on World Religion being instituted in your child’s high school. You review the curriculum and determine that it would do an excellent job of enlightening your child to the basis behind much of our global conflict, causing him to grow as a person. At the last minute, you discover that an educator with known bias to a certain belief will be the instructor. He or she promises to be fair. Do you demand your child be pulled from the classroom?

A. As most of my readers probably know, I send my children to church on a semi-regular basis, so I am not opposed to them being exposed to religious doctrine. In fact I favor it. Having studied child psychology I think that religion has a definite place in the rearing of children, something above and beyond their parents, who can punish them more extremely and who sees every trespass. That being said, I am not in favor of my kids getting too heaping a helping of religion in the classroom. I've never been one to cry foul, but if the transgression were severe enough I might be forced to go in and have a private chat with the teacher in question, and if that didn’t work then maybe the principal. I doubt I would be so incensed to call in the ACLU. Now all that is assuming that you're talking about your garden-variety, "Never miss an opportunity to spread the word," good Christian teachers. If instead you mean that the teacher was answering the call of Cthulu, or perhaps planting seeds for He Who Walks Between the Rows, then my reaction might be quite different. One more little piece to this argument is the bigotry that sometimes is expressed by these well-meaning would be fishers of men. I cannot tolerate the expression of ideas to my children from authority figures that run directly contrary to my opinions on social justice issues. When they start preaching from the chalkboard about gay marriage or interracial relationships, especially as they think they are addressed by the Bible, expect me to march in and demand to be heard.

2. As an avid poker player, you’re certainly aware of the problems that gambling addiction can pose on many people in society. Knowing that some people find this practice to be as addictive as heroin, would you be in favor of a casino opening in your town?

A. I enjoy playing poker, because in my lifetime I've both had a ball playing it and I've made a fair amount of money at it. It was always accepted in my family as a way to make extra money. I remember times that my dad would do particularly well at a poker game and it would have an impact on our lives. Seeing all those dollar bills floating across the table when I'd watch my dad play made me want to take down my share of them. I think my own kids aren't as interested in the game watching the chips move around as I was watching the currency, even though the stakes are probably a lot higher now, chips just don't have the class that cash money had. It took me a long time to get good at the game, and to see some of the leaks, but I think I can hold my own these days. More to the point, I feel sorry for the people who are constant losers. I know a few problem gamblers, and I'm certain that their gambling has a serious negative impact on their lives. It isn't as bad as heroin perhaps, but certainly they'd have been better off if they'd never touched a card, or a lottery ticket, or a racing form. If I have a choice in whose money to win I'd rather win off the guys that just love to play and can spare the money they lose. They often have the satisfaction of a big night at the table, and they're willing to pay for it by giving back what they win and then some the nights they don't do well. Poker players and casino players are different. The average poker player is not so easily duped as the average blackjack or slots player. In my opinion, any game where the house is guaranteed to beat every player in the long run really should be illegal, or at least come with a surgeon general's warning. The only chance for most casino players is to get lucky in the beginning and quit. As a poker player I regret that some players get addicted to the point they can't quit even when they can't win and they can't afford to play, but I like my local card room, and I wish there were enough poker games not necessarily to satisfy my craving to play, but so that the guys who have it to give away don't have to go give it away somewhere else. As a "gambler" I would not like a casino to come into town. The house games that are their bread and butter hurt the people who have the least to lose, the ignorant.

3. If you could have played any character in any movie in history, which one would you choose to play (note: this is assuming that you have the chops to play the part and won’t ruin one of your favorite films)?

A. As much as I'd like to say Sophia from The Color Purple so that I could get to deliver the line, "I loves Harpo, God knows I do. But I'll kill him dead 'fo I let him beat me," I have a better choice in mind, one more fit to my personality. Most stage players when asked this question answer with Hamlet. Hamlet is one of the world's greatest characters and it isn't any wonder that every actor wants his turn, even the anti-Semites. The character I have chosen is closely linked to Hamlet. He isn't much of a character in Shakespeare's original play, but in Rosencratz and Gildenstern are dead, both title characters come alive. Rosencrantz is my choice of the two, because he gets to deliver the lines, "Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. Must have been shattering. Stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it. It never occurred to me at all. We must be born with an intuition of mortality. Before we know the word for it. Before we know that there are words. Out we come, bloodied and squalling, with the knowledge that for all the points of the compass, there’s only one direction. And time is its only measure."

4. If tomorrow you were given $10,000,000 on the condition that $8,000,000 of it be split 50/50 between Fred Phelps and The Taliban, do you accept it?

A. I'm no fool. I know that the Taliban already has a lot more than four million dollars. It wouldn't make that big a difference one way or the other. It might bother my conscience that it might make a difference in one individual soldier's life, but I could never known that for sure. As for Fred Phelps, I think a four million dollar operating budget might finally be enough to get him killed. I keep thinking that if he makes enough of these little visits, sooner or later someone will crush his skull. I wonder if it's any coincidence that his protests were becoming more frequent as time went by up til he came to Powell County, and then less frequent afterward. You think he caught the mood of the crowd here, that if made one wrong move (like stopping at the wrong place to get gas, or to hop out of the car to take a whiz) he was going down for good? Give me the two million dollars. I can use it. It will have a big impact on my own personal operating expenses.

5. What is the meaning of life?

I think that we are a step along the way between perfect chaos and perfect order.


Okay, so that's it. If you want to keep this chain going, and you still have a blog, just send me a request and I'll write you some questions of your very own.

Follow ups:

We win, again! The trivia crawl is over, as of last Friday, and the Skullz, now known as the Chris Sabonians, emerged triumphant. Actually we had the thing locked up by Friday morning, being uncatchable. I hadn't dreamed that it would go so well. We were up against our perennial rivals, known in this year's iteration as Fat Kids Always Win at See-Saw, but more commonly known as Nena's team. Or is it Nina's team? I can never remember. They managed to come in tied for second, and we were accused of cheating to help them come in so well (actually the neck-bearded fellow that confronted me outside seemed to be accusing us of receiving assistance, but I think he was just rattled by the fact that his mouth might be in the act of writing one of those checks his ass couldn't cash). I can't imagine why we would cheat to help Nena and friends, even if they do throw a big Halloween party every year with their winnings and invite us.

The all-star team, the Know-It-Alls, didn't fare too well despite having been combined from multiple high-performance teams of years past. They're great people, but you can only go around with cow bells ringing for so long without accumulating massive bad karma.

The death warrant is apparently about to be signed for Ralph Baze. The execution date is to be set for September 25th. As I told you before, it's a no-brainer for Fletcher. Don't be fooled. On a related note, it's my understanding that Baze's attorneys refer to the litigation they've submitted to the supreme court as serious litigation. They challenge the fact that a doctor does not obtain and administer the lethal injection. What next? No guillotines unless a bona fide butcher sharpens the blade? No hangings without a sailor to tie the knot? Do we have to get Glen Campbell to run the electric chair?

I hear you singing in the wire, Butchie Yost, er, Ralph Baze.

Speaking of the Yosts, rumor has it John From Cincinnati will not return next year. I hope that it isn't so, but after the series seemed to falter under the weight of its own potential toward the end of Season One, I can't say that I'm surprised. I loved the dialogue though, and it gave me something to do on Sunday nights at nine to fill the obvious void. For me, that hour is TV watching.

A few notes:

Ralph Baze may finally be put down within a month. I’m sure this will make the local news circuit, so probably you’ve heard. Greg Stumbo has requested an execution date of September 18th, and if you’re an unpopular Republican running for governor there aren’t a lot of reasons to say no. Fletcher may even pick up a few votes in Powell County if he can manage a quick end to this prolonged mess. They take so long to execute a guy these days that it makes you wonder if Jamie Barnett may be a great-grandfather when he gets his final vaccination. I’m not that big a fan of the death penalty because I’m sure somewhere along the way we’ve fried a couple innocent men, but when there’s no dispute over the facts of the case, it seems pointless not to give them the juice. If you want to convince this liberal you deserve to rot in prison rather than rot in the ground, the least you can do is deny you pulled the trigger.

This week is the trivia crawl. I’ve been mostly relegated to the sidelines due to lack of energy, babysitter, and money, and a deep sense that we can’t win without good players who live in Lexington and can be at every game. I hope that it’s going well. As of Tuesday morning, we had only racked up one score that would fit into a winning top five. There were high hopes for Tuesday evening as the special theme night was about music, movies, and The Big Lebowski, so maybe I’ll get an update when those late trivia goers finally decide to re-enter the world of the living.

The name Larry Forgy keeps coming up as a possible challenge to McConnell. How many times can you lose in Kentucky politics before you give up, anyway? Forgy is a Republican, and I can’t imagine why he’d consider trying to challenge Mitch. If it weren’t for the fact that Mitch is the whipping boy of the national Republican party, his influence in Washington would be something that every Kentuckian could cherish, but being so wrong headed on issues, I’ll take a brand new senator who is right over a senior, powerful senator who manages to usually be wrong. Perhaps Chandler can beat him, despite some of the miscues he’s suffered lately.

Anybody seen the new TV ads for that new gift shop they play on the morning news? Now you don’t have to wait so long for Home Interior to come in. You can pick it up at the store.

Our local trivia goers made a triumphant appearance at Woody's last night. Woody's is the new Pepper's. It actually looks like a place you could take your family these days. I don't know about everyone else but I like my bars to be a little on the dirty side, so I don't feel bad about being drunk. Woody's is done up with faux brick walls and very nice tile floors. Everything looks new. It is not the Pepper's of old. I would invite everyone down to join the fun on Thursday nights. Our team name last night was "No Child Left Behind Except Under that Bridge." After Cory awarded the free pitcher of beer to "We Couldn't Think of a Name So Just Give Us the Beer" I told him we wanted to change our own name to "We Just Got Hank Aaroned on Our Team Name." He told me we weren't going to win the beer his first night in charge even if Lenny Bruce had written our team name. Oh well.

The annual pub crawl begins Saturday at Campus Pub. You can pick up a complete schedule there or I'm sure you can call someone who will know if you can't make it Saturday. Despite our triumphant return my first night back after nearly a year off, I do not expect a repeat this year. My own attendance will be pretty spotty. It's just tough to get organized after a year with no home bar. Think how great that will make it when we come back out of the woodwork for the win, though, right?


In years past we've fielded a team with combat like determination. While there are seven nights of trivia, in all there are about ten games, some of them occurring simultaneously. We always made sure to get a decent team at every single location, often scoring double points in one night, which is something no casual group of friends is going to be able to do. Unfortunately, I don't think its going to happen this year for us, either. Oh well.

In other news I finally got all my classes scheduled. School starts back for me in 10 days. I'll have class two nights a week this semester, plus six Friday nights and six Saturday mornings. Obviously my own social calendar will suffer. I'm only hoping that my attendance to Ethan's football games won't suffer too much. The first weekend class is from early September through the end of the month, and that's probably prime football time. I think he'll forgive me though. I'll be so glad when I finally graduate. I think after this semester I'll be able to clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not even sure how many hours I have but I think this will make 98. That's only thirty to go. Oh, by the way, I didn't specifically mention it, but I made the Dean's List last semester. This one might be tougher, but with any luck, I won't get an irresponsible bum for a professor again this semester. I know two of them already, and one is a top-notch teacher, which is why I signed up for the class, and the other is the top administrator for the campus, so my guess is she'll at least read my work. The other two are still a mystery.