Bruce & Kendra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X-wkn5EBu8&fmt=18

Emi had a “Fancy Nancy” birthday party in August. The theme was based on the book “Fancy Nancy” by Jane O’Connor. It just fit Emi perfectly.

In the book, Nancy goes to out with her family for a “fancy” dinner at the “King’s Crown” restaurant. Nancy is carrying a tray full of food (which explains why I put quotes around fancy) when she trips and slips, and the tray does a double flip.

So I suppose it’s only fitting that Emi’s party ended like it did…

You’ve got to see the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS9xZcn_GM4&fmt=18

Oh Emi.

Wow. What a year.

Claire is one. Emi is 4. Riley’s 11 and in 6th grade! Three of our kids just had birthdays in August (William’s the odd man out with a March birthday). Just think…a little more than a year ago Emi was a little Chinese orphan. Now look at her!

We spent a few days with Kendra’s family in Utah in July. Emi and the boys found hours of fun playing in the gravel behind Grandma & Grandpa’s house. This shot cracks me up. We also got a chance to see the Spanish Fork Rodeo. Emi had cowgirl street cred (below).

HAY there!

Then we headed up to Wyoming to my parents’ house. We somehow ended up with I think 38 people at the house and had a fantastic time.

We built a bonfire one night and I took this shot of William through the flames. I asked him to give me his most devilish look. Funny.

I then shot one of Riley and discovered a UFO in the background!

As I was dialing that radio show “Coast to Coast with George Noory” I noticed the game of horseshoes going on over yonder…

Our last day in Wyoming was spent with two of my brothers’ families in Yellowstone where we saw a GRIZZLY (and got a bit too close).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFn2-iqKvTQ&fmt=18

I was so glad for my kids to connect again with their cousins. After several days together, one cousin said, “Cousins are better than friends.” True. Especially when you have such good ones.

We’ve been following the earthquake devastation in China since hearing the news last week. One article in the Oregonian sums up what many of us with children from China feel as we witness the suffering from half a world away, “We see our children’s eyes in theirs.”

These photostreams provide a glimse of the quake’s impact on the people there.

Children

China 5/12 Photo Pool

I was within 10 miles of the epicenter of the 6.7 Northridge quake 15 years ago and couldn’t have imagined anything more violent than what I experienced. China’s quake was more than ten times as strong and lasted more than 10 times as long.

Unimaginable.

The annual family photo ritual is a punishing affair made exponentially more wearisome with the addition of each new child. My parents made the regular trek to Olan Mills with 8 kids in tow. We were dressed in ill-fitting Sunday best, our hair neatly tamed by an Olan Mills fine-toothed comb and a little of Mom’s spit, ready to be displayed in front of one of the studio’s signature backdrops.

We’d scroll through the options trying to decide if we looked better in the “natural” wagon wheel setting or in front of the library backdrop that matched Dad’s maroon sport coat. 

Capturing 10 sets of eyes at the same time required the perfect alignment of planets and stars. There’s a brief moment when a successful shoot is possible, but beyond which you’ll be drawn into a sort of black hole where you can only find release after an inevitable conflagration of tempers.

This isn’t an Olan Mills shot, but it’s pretty illustrative of the problem my parents faced (that’s me showing my molars):

I’ve got it together in this one:

So when Kendra suggested we take some family photos early this Spring I was less than enthusiastic. Until we met Shannon Sewell.

Shannon doesn’t shoot in a studio. There was no library backdrop. She never squeaked a toy in my daughter’s face or let out an irritating squeal to get my kids’ attention. We went for a walk downtown for a few blocks and stopped in a few interesting places and she… just captured us. She caught real smiles. Real moments. Just us being us. In the end, she narrowed a couple hours’ work down to about 130 proofs. There were about 40 shots we simply couldn’t live without. When was the last time you came away from a studio with more than a handful of pictures you really wanted to print?  

Here are some of our shots she posted to her blog.

We can’t recommend her highly enough…Thanks Shannon!

OK, so we’re only about 6 months overdue for an update…

We completed Emi’s re-adoption in December and in the process changed her legal name, making it easier to generate U.S. documents like an English birth certificate and Social Security card. Our judge happened to be a friend’s father. Our attorney said he likes to do adoptions on Fridays so he can close his week on a positive note.

Then a few days later we traveled to Salt Lake City to see family for Christmas and to take Emi to the Salt Lake Temple to make her ours forever.

A lot of faiths recognize adoption with a variety of finalization ceremonies that give adoptive parents an opportunity to acknowledge God’s hand in leading them toward their children and help reinforce a much-needed sense of permanence among adopted children.  In our faith, adopted children can be “sealed” eternally in the temple to their adoptive “forever families”. There is no distinction in God’s eyes between a child who is sealed to an adoptive family and one who is born under the sealing covenant. Emi was dressed in the white silk dress Grandma made and we joined hands across an altar as a temple sealer pronounced that she would be ours forever. A forever family.

For us, the Salt Lake Temple is an icon of our faith. It took our pioneer forefathers 40 years to complete it and their dedication to the details shows at every turn. It was an absolutely beautiful setting to a spectacularly memorable day.

I finally finished putting together Claire’s video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kShWqxoIcIE&fmt=18

Our friend Lynne showed up one day with the BABY letters. Very fitting, we think.

We had both girls’ baby blessings* at church on November 4th. Kendra’s mom, Marianne, made both of the dresses using silk we purchased in China. 

*I know, Emi’s not a baby. 

We haven’t posted in months (we’ve had our hands full as you can imagine); but as they say, a picture’s worth 1000 words so we’re hoping that by completing Emi’s video we can appease friends and family a little longer.

http://www.facebook.com/v/49036442688

It was almost exactly 1 year ago that we sat across from our fertility specialist as he recommended we pursue in vitro with ICSI. He guessed our odds of conceiving with IVF to be around 10%. Without any interventions, he placed our odds at less than 1%. “We never like to say never,” he said.

Our path toward adoption began in the car ride home. Paperwork was essentially finished in December when we signed a letter of intent to adopt Wu YiFang. Within a week, Kendra discovered she was pregnant. We contacted Heritage right after Kendra’s first obstetric exam, concerned that China’s Center for Adoption Affairs would require us to withdraw our application (normally, applicants who become pregnant while waiting to adopt are expected to withdraw). Fortunately, the rules for Special Needs are a bit different. Unlike parents waiting in the standard program, we had our daughter’s photo and profile in hand and felt like she became ours the moment we signed our letter of intent. To lose her then would have been like losing the baby we’d conceived. To our relief, CCAA had no objection.

As we informed people of our impending adoption and pregnancy, we soon discovered everybody’s got a sister-in-law, next door neighbor, or college roommate who became pregnant after adopting. “That always happens,” we heard again and again. No, not always (as those who struggle with infertility can attest), yet often enough apparently that our little “miracle” falls somewhere within the realm of statistical probability. But our miracle nevertheless.

Tonight Kendra gave birth to a beautiful baby girl: Claire Ellis Burton. She was 8 lbs. 4 ounces and 19 inches long. Like William, she came too quickly for Mom to get an epidural. She’s got fuzzy duck hair and plump round cheeks.

We feel twice blessed (and a little overwhelmed at the moment) to have both these little girls in our family. Never say never.

Emi turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and had several friends over for a ladybug party. She cried when everyone left.

I was browsing earlier posts a while back and saw one I’d sent via e-mail to my brother Wade while we were traveling in China. He’d added a comment to our post which I hadn’t seen until recently:

Bruce and Kendra, you are both great examples to us of how much our ability to love others can grow. We pray for your safe return and look forward to meeting Emi.

–Wade Burton

I’ve heard several people comment about how impressed they are that we can love this kid so much so quickly. Most parents adopting from China endure a painfully long wait before ever knowing anything about their child. Then they’re finally matched, receive photos and a profile, and travel soon thereafter. They often say that time seems to stand still once they have a name and a photo. For us and other parents adopting through China’s special needs program, we found our daughter on a waiting child list, signed our letter of intent, finished up our paperwork, and waited…and waited…and waited. Everything you know about your child comes from a few small photos, a short profile and a medical report. For us, it’s all that we had for 6 months before finally meeting her.

A coworker told me recently of a child he and his wife had tried to adopt several years ago from Central America who had a heart condition similar to Emi’s. The baby died just before he and his wife were scheduled to travel. His eyes were welling up as he relayed the story of this child who he’d never know.

When Kendra called last month to say that Emi had fallen and was unresponsive, I raced home at 3 times the speed limit unsure of what I’d find when I ran through the door still praying she’d be alright. She was. She’d fallen from a chair and hit her head before going limp in Kendra’s arms. I arrived just behind paramedics to find Emi somber but healthy.

Somehow, it seems I’m more emotionally invested in Emi than I am in my bio kids. Infants reveal themselves more slowly. Emi came to us with a bang.

We met with several doctors at OHSU’s Doernbecher Children’s Hospital last week. After seeing her teeth on Tuesday, the dental specialist pressed hard to get her in for surgery as soon as possible. We were able get Emi in to see a cardiac specialist on Thursday to sign off on anesthesia (because of her earlier Tetralogy of Fallot) and they were miraculously able to schedule 3 different surgeons for today.

She’s had tubes put in her ears, had her soft palate repaired, and had 13 teeth extracted. Emi’s out of surgery and in recovery now.

The palate surgery was about 1 1/2 hours and went well. The muscles came together very well, but the skin covering them is thin and was difficult to close. Her ear tubes took just a few minutes.

The dental surgeon pulled 13 teeth (I’ve got them next to me in a jar…nasty things). The doctor discovered some more large abscesses during the surgery and was amazed that she wasn’t in more pain than she’s shown. He said she’s got just 7 teeth left, most of which had to be capped or heavily filled. I think he said he was able to save the incisors and 3 of 4 molars. Her mouth is too bruised and swollen right now for us to get a peek. She’ll be mostly toothless for a few years until her permanent teeth begin to come in.

She woke up a few minutes ago and tried (unsuccessfully) to drink a little ice water. She appeared to doze off while sitting up, then turned her head quickly and flashed me a big puffy smile. Peek!

Funny, happy kid. We love her big.

Emi’s citizenship papers came this week! 

The universal question seems to be, “How is she adjusting?”

We’ve been home for a month and think the transition is going great. We were prepared for a tough time with attachment, but Emi seems completely comfortable with us. She’s even giving kisses and hugs. We keep saying she seems like she’s been here for years…she just fits in with the rest of us so well.

The last month has been busy, busy, busy! We took a vacation at the end of June to California with all of Kendra’s family. Being in China for 2 weeks, back for two weeks, and off for another left me with much to do at work and explains why we haven’t posted updates to the blog since the day we got back to the U.S.

Emi spends much of her time exploring everything around her. We should have spent a little more time childproofing the house because she’s into everything. Yesterday she marched downstairs proudly wearing one of Kendra’s bras. She likes to change clothes and shoes several times a day. She’s into girly things and loves having her fingernails painted.

We’ve discovered since returning home that Emi’s palate is still open. You can shine a light into her nose and see the beam inside her mouth. Having an open palate has seriously affected her ability to speak and will require surgery to correct. She can’t make any hard consonant sounds unless we plug off her nose. There may also be some hearing issues associated with the open palate that will need to be checked out. We have an appointment with the craniofacial/cleft team at OHSU next week to make a plan. Kendra bought a sign language DVD course aimed at young children and it’s helping Emi learn English while learning the signs. She seems much more willing to sign than to try to speak (the boys are enjoying it too). On top of that, her teeth are absolutely rotting away in her mouth. There’s simply no enamel on most of them and a few have disintegrated all the way to the gums. She had a large abscess in her mouth when we got home from China because of all her tooth decay, but we’ve had her on antibiotics and it’s clearing up. Children born prematurely or with clefts often have issues with enamel formation, but everything she’s got now will be replaced when her permanent teeth come in, so we may not see any lasting issues there. Still, it looks like 7 of the front 8 teeth will have to come out, along with at least 3 others.

We think we figured out why she’s so small. It isn’t because she doesn’t eat (she eats everything), it’s because she never sits still! Even in her sleep she’s constantly moving.

We left Guangzhou this morning at 8 AM and arrived at 8 AM in Portland. Wow, time travel really wears you out!Emi became a U.S. citizen when her passport was stamped here this morning. The procedings lacked fanfare. She’d had a blow-out on the plane and her jeans had to be stored in a motion-sickness bag, so she cleared customs and immigration wearing pajamas. After traveling half-way around the world, none of us were interested in a photo op.

We got home and Emi began buzzing around all of the rooms in the house, happy to have a little more freedom than was available in the hotels where we stayed.

We’re happy to be back. After we’re rested, we’ll post more details of the last few days…in the meantime, more photos are available at http://flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra/

New photos are posted at: http://flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra/

I’m hanging out in the hotel room right now while Riley finishes today’s homework. Kendra just came back from a shopping trip to drop off bags and to leave Emi here for a nap. Emi’s mad. She’s generally a really good sleeper, but she’s not in the mood for a nap as long as Mom’s out buying dresses and shoes. Grandma and Grandpa think squeaky shoes are the cutest things and insist we don’t remove the squeakers on the pairs they’ve bought for Emi (grandparents always seem to get a kick out of buying grandkids things which will irritate their parents).

Our first morning here in Guangzhou, we took Emi for her physical at a nearby medical office, took new passport photos for her U.S. passport, and then assembled our paperwork with our guide Bob before heading out to visit local sites and markets. In the evening, we met up with my friend Tom (a former coworker) who treated us to a Macau-style restaurant on the other side of town where we ate a variety of foods including mussels and ox tail. The food was incredibly tasty and it was fun to catch up with an old friend.

All American adoptive families must pass through Guangzhou to visit the U.S. consulate here, the only one of several U.S. consulates in China that processes international adoptions.  Families generally stay on Shamian Island at one of two hotels: the White Swan or the Victory. When Guangzhou was still called Canton, foreign residents were required to live on the island apart from mainlanders. Our gang of 7 has two large (and very clean) suites at the Victory. At our other hotels, a walk across the carpet would leave you wishing for a Clorox bath to soak your feet. No so here. Each morning at breakfast, we spot several more adoptive families who are in China for a son or daughter. More adoptive families stay at the White Swan, which has become famous for the red sofas which adorn is lobby. Since China began its international adoption program, most of the 60,000+ children which have been adopted into U.S. homes have been posed on one of the White Swan’s sofas for a photo to commemorate their stay. Most of the shops on the island carry items geared toward adoptive families.

Emi loves girly things, and loves to show off her new dresses and shoes. When she put on her first pair of squeaky shoes last night, she started walking on her tiptoes to avoid making noise. About 10 seconds later, though, she’d decided they were fun and began running up and down the sidewalk, showing off to all of the store merchants. She mimics Kendra putting on makeup, so Kendra will dab a bit of lip gloss on her lips or pretend to put a little makeup on Emi’s cheeks. She was very cute in the pearl market as she watched the workers string up several pieces we’d bought for her. After buying pearls, we stopped in a silver store and I bought her a tiny silver bracelet which she showed off to everyone. And she loves baby dolls. We bought a doll yesterday at the toy market and I just took it in the other room for her. She quickly calmed down and pretended to get the baby down for a nap and then quickly fell asleep herself.  

It’s strange that in China, it’s been impossible to find an Asian doll. At the shopping mall and Carrefour in Wuhan and at the toy market here in Guangzhou, the only dolls we could find were Caucasian. Judging from the doll selection in the stores, Chinese people seem to especially love blond Barbies. We finally found Asian “Kurhn” dolls on Shamian Island, but the shops here on the island appeal mostly to westerners, so I wonder if they haven’t caught on yet with the locals. The shop owner said they’ve been available for only a couple of years.

The pool’s closed here until this afternoon (remember this is only a 4-star hotel), so William’s going stir crazy. Riley will be too in a few minutes when his homework is finished.

Our guide Bob reported that his visit to the consulate this morning went smoothly. Tomorrow we will take Emi to a swearing in ceremony for new American immigrants.

More photos are posted at: http://flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra/

Our guide Michael met us at the hotel Friday morning for our return trip to the Civil Affairs Office to receive Emi’s Chinese passport. We’d decided to leave the boys with Marianne and Jon so they could swim a little before we flew to Guangzhou. The pool had been drained a few days earlier for repairs and had finally reopened. The pool at our hotel in Beijing had also been closed when we were there, but arrangements had been made for guests to swim at a nearby apartment complex. When the pool was drained at the White Rose in Wuhan, we joked that four-star hotels in China have a pool. You have to go to a five-star for a pool that works!

Michael and our driver had arrived in a 30+ passenger bus to carry Kendra, Emi, and me to the government office. I asked why we had such a large vehicle and Michael replied, “Because you have a lot of luggage.” True enough, we’ve never developed a talent for traveling light (although our bags did all fit underneath!). Upon arriving at Civil Affairs, Michael reported that he’d learned that the man in charge of issuing passports had been hospitalized and that Emi’s passport had been delayed. My mind started playing through possible scenarios, “OK, I could fly home with the kids while Kendra stays until the passport is issued. Maybe Kendra should fly home and I should stay…” Fortunately, Michael was quick to inform us that we’d only have to wait for about 30 minutes. 

As usual, Emi spent the minutes flitting around the room. It was the same conference room where we’d been handed our daughter 5 days earlier. After we’d waited several minutes, though, I noticed her standing quiet and motionless near the doorway with a vacant look on her face, lost in her own thoughts. I watched her for a moment before approaching and saw she had tears forming in her eyes. She sees me and raises her arms to be held. Unusual for this independent girl, especially toward me. There’s sadness and fear in her expression. As I lift her, she begins pointing for the door. She wants out of this room. She keeps pointing. She wants out of the building. She clings tightly to me as we walk out onto the sidewalk. We still have a few minutes to kill, so we stand outside watching morning commuters dodge buses and bikes until she seems calm enough to return inside. She begins to protest as I head for the door, trying to point me back onto the street, and her protests increase until we reach the conference room. She’s clinging hard to my neck and holding tight to my shirt as I pass through the conference room door. The passports have arrived and are being handed to new parents. Emi sees Kendra and wails “Mama!” repeatedly as I hand her over. “She’s freaked out by this room,” I surmise as Emi sobs into her mother’s shoulder, “She knows this is where kids get handed to new parents and is afraid she’s going to be given to someone else.” Kendra kisses Emi’s head and replies, “Well what else should she think?” 

By evening, with Emi’s passport in hand, we’re in the air for Guangzhou. 

Wuhan’s reputation as China’s furnace is not quite right…this feels more like China’s steam room. It’s been near 100 degrees F with nearly 100% humidity since we arrived, so touring local sites is a sweaty affair. We awoke to thunderstorms this morning, which seem to have brought cooler temperatures. The air is still soggy, though.

We visited the Wuhan Zoo earlier this week in sweltering heat. Though Wuhan is one of the largest cities in China, there were only a few dozen visitors. The first animal we saw was a wild dog that seemed to be wandering the park for leftovers from the snack shack. The second was a very large rat, which Riley chased for a moment before it darted into some bushes. The leading attraction at the Wuhan Zoo is a rare giant panda. We caught only a glimpse of its black and dirty white fur as it napped in the shade. One of its famous ancestors had been stuffed (badly) and put on display behind a glass enclosure a few yards away.

Emi does not sit still for long. When we greeted our guide in the hotel lobby this morning, Emi took off into an open elevator. We barely caught the door before it would have lifted her away to one of the other 21 floors. She loves having da ge ge’s (brothers) to chase after and boss around. She puts one hand on her hip, points with the other, and gives them indecipherable orders. She alternates between being a little firecracker and being completely sweet. She blows kisses to Dad, combs Mom’s hair, and “washes” Riley’s shoes using a hair brush and an empty water bottle. Right now, she’s snuggling with William in front of the TV watching The Incredibles.

Emi’s potty trained according to Chinese standards. Young kids here generally wear split pants with no diapers and learn to take care of business both indoors and out. If they’re outside, they simply squat and do their thing in the street. We’re not sure when kids are considered too old to poop in the street, but whatever it is, Emi hasn’t gotten the message. While playing at our hotel playground this afternoon, Emi dropped her panties, hiked up her skirt, and finished “da bian” (poop) before her horrified mother could make it over to stop her. Kathy, our adoption coordinator from Beijing, calls each afternoon to check on us and make sure Emi’s digestion is normal. Kendra was able to report that things were moving along fine today.

We’ve had a hard time finding clothes that are small enough to fit Emi’s skinny frame. Most of the things we brought are too big. She loves to dress herself and show off the little silk purse that Kathy bought for her.

Our Wuhan guide is a nice kid, but his guiding has been limited to trips up the Yangtze River, so he’s unfamiliar with the adoption process. We got lost this morning on the way to visit the orphanage. I don’t think our guide or the driver had ever been there before. We were expecting to meet several children at the orphanage who will soon be adopted, but when we got there, we were handed photos to deliver to their waiting families and were informed the children were not there. Still, we were able to see Emi’s finding location and meet some of the ayi’s (aunties) who knew her.

Unlike Beijing, few people in Wuhan speak English, so navigating restaurant menus is an interesting process. We ordered a chicken dish last night that we believe consisted only of chicken feet. We’d chew each piece briefly until the flavor was gone before spitting it out and moving on the the next piece. Tonight we nearly ordered bullfrog.

We return to the civil affairs office tomorrow morning for Emi’s passport. Then we’re off for Guangzhou in the afternoon. All U.S. adoptions pass through the same consulate in Guangzhou, giving us a chance to meet several other adoptive families during our last few days in China. There’s a small industry set up there that caters to adoptive families, so we’ll shop until our suitcases are full. We’ll also meet up with our friend Tom who’s in Guangzhou on business.

New photos are posted on Flickr.com at http://flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra/

Zai Jian!

I just spoke with Bruce and William through Skype, which makes it possible to make a free telephone call through two computers, even from China to the United States. They report that everything is going well so far. They are still in Wuhan, and plan to go to Guanjo in the next day or two. Guanjo is across from Hong Kong. They are excited to be able to visit other areas, as Wuhan is not an area many tourists visit, so spending several days there limits their entertainment to bonding with Emi, but that currently seems to be quite entertaining.

Bruce reports that Emi is now beginning to warm up to him more. She has had a few tantrums now, but those seem to be related more to adjusting to not being an only child and getting what she wants, rather than any other type of anxiety. She is active and playful.

I asked William if he thought Emi was enjoying having brothers around, and he said yes, and that she says “mama”, and the Chinese word for brother, which William knows, but I do not. I asked William what has been the best part of being in China, and he had to think for a moment, and then said “picking up Emi”. That is the right answer, William.

Bruce has added more photos, which can be found here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra/

Bruce and Kendra, you are both great examples to us of how much our ability to love others can grow. We pray for your safe return and look forward to meeting Emi.

–Wade Burton

We have been going non-stop since we got to China. Our days and nights have been filled touring Beijing sites and spending time with our friends Steve & Nicole and their family in Beijing. We flew to Wuhan from Beijing last night and went first thing this morning to the civil affairs office to meet our daughter, Wu YiFang (eventually Emi YiFang). Our “gotcha” moment came earlier than expected. We met YiFang on the stairs as we were heading in for our appointment. The adoption process will take 5 days here in Wuhan.

The first day went very well. We gave Emi a little toy cell phone at our morning appointment and laughed when she held it up like she was taking pictures with it. She was quite comfortable with us from the start and showed little emotion until she announced she had to go niao niao (pee). When Bruce took her into our hotel bathroom, she absolutely freaked out and wouldn’t go near the western-style toilet (they use squat pots here…it’s basically a hole in the ground). Eventually, Kendra was able to coach her to use it successfully, but she hasn’t entirely trusted Bruce since.

She is very tiny, but very grown up for her size. We spent the evening chasing her around a local square. She loves to run and jump and climb and is constantly busy. We tried swimming, but she became frightened after only a couple of minutes. 
Riley and William are a huge help. They’ve been so sweet to her all day and she loves chasing after her big brothers. She’s also happy to have Grandma and Grandpa (Kendra’s parents) here, but she’s especially glued to Kendra. If Kendra goes next door to our adjoining room, Emi yells “Mama” until Kendra answers.

We’ve been unable to post to our blog while in China, so we’re enlisting the help of some family members. In the meantime, we were able to upload several dozen photos to a Flickr photo album: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bruceandkendra     Enjoy!

Our agency forwarded us an update this week about little YiFang. Her original adoption profile was completed in August and until this week it was the most current information we had.

She’s very tiny…just 22 lbs. (up just 2 1/2 lbs. since August). She’s a deep sleeper and sleeps in her own bed. She is outgoing and loves to play hide and seek. She’s afraid of the dark and allergic to penicillin. Not much, I know, but when everything you know about your child is limited to a few photos and a medical report, you cling to every word.

The orphanage is arranging to have several of YiFang’s friends come to meet us while we’re there so we can take pictures of them together. Four of the 5 kids they named will be adopted later this year through Heritage Adoption. We’ll hopefully be able to send photos to their waiting families.

Gotcha Day will be Memorial Day.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/fashion/13love.html

My First Lesson in Motherhood

By ELIZABETH FITZSIMONS

I SAW the scar the first time I changed Natalie’s diaper, just an hour after the orphanage director handed her to me in a hotel banquet room in Nanchang, a provincial capital in southeastern China.

Despite the high heat and humidity, her caretakers had dressed her in two layers, and when I peeled back her sweaty clothes I found the worst diaper rash I’d ever seen, and a two-inch scar at the base of her spine cutting through the red bumps and peeling skin. Read the rest of this entry »

We have Travel Approval (TA) from Beijing. Our visas and passports have arrived. Our appointment at the U.S. consulate is set for June 4th.

We’ll be in the air in less than a week.

Holding up Half the Sky
One day an elephant saw a hummingbird lying on its back with its tiny feet up in the air. “What are you doing?” asked the elephant.

The hummingbird replied, “I heard that the sky might fall today, and so I am ready to help hold it up, should it fall.”

The elephant laughed cruelly. “Do you really think,” he said, “that those tiny feet could help hold up the sky?”

The hummingbird kept his feet up in the air, intent on his purpose, as he replied, “Not alone. But each must do what he can. And this is what I can do.”
— A Chinese Folktale

_________________________________

Learn a little about Half the Sky Foundation

http://www.halfthesky.org/about/ourstory.php

http://www.halfthesky.org/children/whotheyare.php

If you’re not affected by this video, you’re beyond feeling

http://www.halfthesky.org/children/video.php

A good article from a parent whose daughter’s life was blessed by Half the Sky

http://www.halfthesky.org/journal/?p=54

Share this one with your kids

http://halfthesky.org/work/beckydubner.php

Emi’s room is just about ready. The pink chair used to be denim before we had it reupholstered.

Since Emi has probably never slept in a room by herself before, it might be a long time before she’s comfortable here (good thing there’s a trundle bed below). Kendra’s still working on about a dozen pillows for the bed.

Nickelodeon is set to launch a new animated series in August…sort of a Chinese version of Dora the Explorer. Something tells me this is going to be a big hit at our house.

The 10-year old who will be the voice of Kai-Lan happens to have been adopted from China. Read the story here:

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=591289

and another one here:

http://www.artknowledgenews.com/Karen_Chao.html

We celebrated William’s 7^th birthday several weeks ago at a local Chinese restaurant (Will’s choice). We’ve been trying to learn a little Chinese and asked the waitress if we were pronouncing “birthday” correctly. The boys then explained that we’d soon be adopting a 2-year-old girl from Wuhan. 

Our waitress had been raised in Canton (now Guangzhou) and began telling us about China’s unwanted girls. It was customary, she said, to have a large bucket of water nearby when a baby was born…“in case it was an unwanted girl.”  She would often see discarded infants floating in the river as she walked to and from school. “Some days I’d see several.” Her own cousin had given birth to 6 children. The first was a daughter. The sixth was the long-coveted son. The second, third, fourth, and fifth daughters were each abandoned to the river.

The mood of our birthday celebration had been dimmed by her horrific stories, though Riley and William (and Will’s friend Cooper) tried to appear unaffected by the details. She paused for a moment to get the boys’ attention. “I want you to know that your sister is one of the lucky ones. She had someone who made sure she would be cared for. Most of them aren’t so fortunate.”

We have a lot of people comment about how glad Emi will be to have a family. Eventually maybe, but we’re expecting a tough transition. For her, the adoption will be a time of great loss as we take her from the only family she’s ever known. At two years old, it will be very difficult for her to understand what is happening. We aren’t expecting to be allowed to meet her foster family. Instead, we expect a lot of tears and sleepless nights for a few weeks as she mourns the loss of her family and begins to form attachments to her new family.

We received our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) from Beijing yesterday and returned it today with our signatures. The LOA is the official and final word that YiFang is ours. Our agency estimates we’ll travel around May 23rd (our 15-year wedding anniversary…will I still have to buy a gift?).

http://www.babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html

I showed this Baby Naming Wizard to my mother-in-law back in December. We keyed in several potential names to test their popularity over time. “How about Emi?,” she suggested. I start keying: E…M…Emily. Emma. No Emi.

A quick Google search finds it: Emi (Japanese) “Blessed by beauty” or “Beautiful smile”

Seems fitting. Emi YiFang it is.
(All credit to Mother-in-Law Wizard)

In December 2006, as we completed the paperchase, our agency approached us about children on their “waiting child” list—children with special needs that make them ineligible for China’s standard program. Only moments after receiving the profiles, we requested a hold on a beautiful little two-year-old girl named (for now) Wu YiFang (pronounced ee-fong).

She’s had surgeries to repair a congenital heart defect and cleft lip but is now considered by China’s Center of Adoption Affairs to be in good health. She lives in Wuhan, a city of about 9 million people in the Hubei province, and has been fortunate to have been with a foster family since she was 4 months old.

Her development report says she is fearless and likes acrobatics and climbing and her foster mother reports that she is “lovely and cute.” She’s got big brown eyes that make her (soon-to-be) dad’s heart completely melt.

William and Riley are thrilled about the whole process and are hoping to join us when we travel to China.

Instead of 2008, we’ll be getting a daughter in 2007!

In April of 2006, we traveled to China to visit our friends Steve & Nicole in Beijing and left with an incredible appreciation for China’s culture and people. It was an indescribable experience that seems, in retrospect, to have prepared us for our impending adoption.

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After years of trying and months of tests and fertility treatments, we sat across a desk from our doctor in August 2006 as he recommended we move straight to in vitro fertilization (IVF) using intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). The process costs more than $15,000 per attempt and involves harvesting eggs that are then fertilized individually in a lab using a pipette. Our clinic claims a success rate per cycle approaching 70%, but our doctor felt that giving us a 10% chance of success might be overly optimistic. “Just curious…,” Bruce asked, “What kind of odds would you give us without any interventions?”

“We never like to say never,” the doctor replied, “But probably less than 1%”.

Our decision to adopt from China was made in the car before we arrived home.