Twin Musings

It is starting to finally feel like spring here. I think the whole family is ready for some sunshine and warm weather so; we can get outdoors.
The transistion to work is still going pretty good. John and I are tired. I am very very tired. Since daylight savings began about the time I was coming back to work, it has thrown everyone’s sleeping pattern off some. There have been a lot of things to adjust to in a short amount of time – daylight savings, Gigi’s, mommy going back to work. And on top of that last Tuesday was the babies 4 month checkup complete with shots. Oh how we love that. The shots suck! They make my happy babies very unhappy for about a week. And then all last weekend me and the babes were sick with some sinus crud. Everyone is doing better now but, not 100% over it just yet.
Chloe is teething – her gums are bothering her quite often now. 😦 I hope these teeth pop through quickly and this doesn’t drag on for many weeks. Sometimes she will wake up from a dead sleep crying and chewing on her hands.
Kellen rolled over for the first time yesterday. Gigi said after he did it the first time he tried for the rest of the day to do it again but, couldn’t. He apparently woke up in the middle of the night and decided to try it in his bed. LOL – I heard some very quiet grunting on the baby monitor. At first I was just going to ignore it but, then decided I should check it out. I went in there and looked in his bed and to my surprise he was on his belly up at the headboard. He was pushed up on his arms and his little head was bopping all around. I think he couldn’t figure out what to do now that he had made it on his tummy. LOL I flipped him back over to his back and he squealed in delight and gave me the biggest smile. He was sooooo proud of himself. I got him out of the bed and was trying to rock him back to sleep but, all he wanted to do was roll over. I finally just had to put him on the floor and let him go at it for a minute. Once he wore himself down he went back to sleep. He is a funny little guy.

We have taken a break from eating solids because the babies wouldn’t drink their bottles after eating. I think there was just too much going on at once and we needed to reset and start over. We will try it again next week.

Chloe LOVES to take a bath. LOVES it! She is so funny. She just splashes and plays and she doesn’t want to get out. She likes it when I pour water on her belly. 🙂 I love to watch her chubby little body wiggle around in the tub.
She also really like the Johnny Jump up. She can spin around in circles and jump up and down.

We all were up off and on last night because the babies took turns wanting to have a party in the middle of the night. They were both happy and smiling at me but, it was time to sleep! I have called in the reinforcements – my parents are coming to the rescue. I have been nodding off all day at work. I can’t wait for a decent night sleep.

Today Kellen and Chloe got to meet their great grandmother Jean Rippy. She was overjoyed to see them and they were both very cheery. My grandfather passed away several months before I found out I was pregnant. I think the babies have helped to fill the void for her. We took some pictures of them in my grandfather’s leather chair. He always sat in this chair and smoked his pipe and watched TV. It was so cool to see their little bodies sitting there on either side – almost where they would be if he was holding them.
Jean thinks that Kellen looks like my grandfather. She is going to try and find some of his baby pictures so; that I can see what he looked like as a child.
It was a lot of fun and I can’t wait for us to get to hang out as a family again very soon.

The impending doom of returning to work is looming over me everday, every hour, every minute. I can temporarily fool myself that this is going to go smoothly and be a fairly easy transition. Then I have moments of clarity and reality – this isn’t going to be easy. In fact, it is going to be the most emotionally, physically and mentally taxing change I have undergone yet. Don’t get me wrong – I know that we will get in the swing of things and develop a new normal. I really love my job and I have worked very hard to get to where I am at and I don’t want to give it up but, K & C make me realize how really unimportant a career could be to me.
The twisted/ironic part is that I am going back to work for them and their future but, if I was staying home I would also be doing that for them and their future??? I am going back to work because I hope to be able to provide them a private school education and opportunities that I perhaps didn’t have (what those would be I have no clue). I have an internal debate with myself on a regular basis now about this very issue. I mean my parents sacrificed so much in order for me and my brother to have our mom at home with us (until middle school when she took a part time job). My dad worked his way up the ranks at a brokerage firm, eventually making partner. We lived in a modest, cozy home where we had everything we needed. I began attending private school in 5th grade and my brother in 7th grade. I didn’t have all of the fancy and unnecessarily expensive things that my classmates had but, I had a lot more than they had in many other regards (unbeknownst to both them and me at the time). I had a great education, a even better family, and yes I behaved like a brat and always wanted more. In retrospect, I never knew what I had and I wouldn’t change one thing about any of it. I didn’t need all that materialistic crap, in fact I think I am a better person because I didn’t have it. At sixteen, I got a 1984 Z-24 Cavalier, aka “The Shitter”. Most other kids were driving brand new Hondas and BMWs. But, you know what The Shitter was way better than what they had. Me and my friends still to this day tell stories about that car. The stories have outlasted the car – not many other kids can say that. I guess what I am getting at is, I got all I needed without all the bells and whistles. I learned more about life, love, family, and who I was as a person because I didn’t have a bunch of unnecessary crap blocking my sight.
So, why do I feel obligated to give my kids more that I had? Is it just an innate need to build upon what you had? Is it the lure of the materialistic world to make you feel you need to? Am I wrong to want to continue my career that I have worked so hard to achieve? I really struggle with justifying going back to work and knowing it is right.
I mean if it isn’t right how long will it take me to figure that out? Will it be too late? Will I have regrets later? I guess I just have to take a step forward and see what happens. Maybe this mommy guilt will wear off after a couple of weeks being back at work.
I hope that Kellen and Chloe will know that even though I went back to work that I loved them dearly. I love every second I spend with them. Being a mom is my number one full-time job. Working for Deloitte is just something I do to make a living.

I am just amazed each week how much the babies are progressing and growing.
Chloe is a chunky monkey and is absolutely precious. She LOVES her daddy. He can make her cheese so big when she smiles. She is definitely a daddy’s girl. Chloe (aka Goo Goo) is a happy baby. I LOVE it when she smiles and sticks her tongue out at the same time – too cute. She is still not talking as much as Kellen but, she is talking more. She tends to take in her surroundings and what is going on rather than talk about it. I gave her some cereal off of a spoon today for the first time. She liked it okay but, was a little hesitant and didn’t eat much of it.
Kellen is still a little underweight. I am trying to fatten him up some. He is now eating cereal twice a day and he began apples a few days ago. He loves to eat off of a spoon and really likes apples. He is a little motor mouth – he talks non stop. He is a very happy baby.
We took them to the Corner Pub in the Woods last Sunday for the Chili cookoff. It was very busy (busier than I expected) and very loud. They did great – it didn’t bother them at all. They were both happy and enjoyed seeing lots of new people. They crashed on the way home.
Today they went and got their pictures made at Calverts. It is the same place that I got my baby pictures made and my dad got his made there too. They wore the cutest Feltman Brothers outfits that were all white. They did so great – both were happy and smiled big for the camera. I can’t wait to get the proofs back!
I am starting back to work a week from today. Still dreading it! I don’t want to leave my babies but, they are going to be in good hands.

We have had a lot of really great days lately. The babies are so much fun. Happy would be the best way to describe them. Kellen wakes up in a good mood every morning and just talks and talks. Now that they have moved to their own beds I hear his sweet little babblings coming through the monitor and it makes me smile. It is such a great way to wake up even if I am dog tired. Sometimes I put him in bed with me hoping he might fall back asleep until Chloe wakes up but, usually he just wants to hang out and talk. 🙂
They seem to really like being in their own beds. We have really made a lot of progress on our sleeping. Chloe usually sleeps longer than Kellen but, no one wakes up before 5 am now. He has slept til 6 a couple of times and she has slept til 7 several times and 8 once. It is really nice to get that extra sleep.
I just can’t express how much fun I am having with these two. They are just so bubbly and sweet. Sometimes I look at them and they just bust out a giant toothless grin, maybe even sticking their tongue out too (which is absolutely precious).
Chloe has outgrown her brother by 1.5 lbs. While this doesn’t seem like a lot, it is at their age and size. Kellen is still battling the reflux, although we have DRASTICALLY improved. He just doesn’t eat like he should. He will eat about 3 ounces and then he just plays with his bottle. 😦 It is frustrating because he really needs to eat to keep growing and he just thinks it is funny to play with the bottle. So, today we called the doctor and she upped his medicine a little and we are hoping that will help. He has also been coughing in the middle of the night ( a symptom of reflux) so; hopefully that will help that too. I took matters into my own hands tonight, after he only ate about 11 ounces all day versus 20 for Chloe. I decided since he is so active with his tongue – he rolls it all around, licks lots of things, etc. We were going to try eating some cereal from a spoon. The boy needed calories! Ummm he LOVED it. It was funny. He was squealing with excitement and was getting fussy when I wouldn’t give him more fast enough. Maybe he was just tired of the bottle so much? I don’t know but, we are going to give this a whirl and see what happens. I didn’t give Chloe any yet because she seems to enjoy the bottle.
I am dreading going back to work but, I know it is right around the corner. It will be fine after a couple of weeks but, it is going to be rough in the beginning.

I took the babies to see Uncle D at work today. It had been a while since he had seen them. He couldn’t believe how big they had gotten. It was great to see him and I hope we get to see him again very soon.

The babies slept in their bed for the first time on Saturday night. They did great. I think they are big enough now that their beds actually seem more comfortable. The pack and play can’t be comfortable with a hardboard mattress. Not to mention it was getting a little crowded in there.
We put both of them in the bed with us on Sunday morning and snuggled and slept in until about 9am. It was a nice way to start the day.
Both babies have been sleeping a lot. Saturday and Sunday Chloe slept ALL day except to eat. I think she might have been awake about 4 hours combined for both days. Kellen did the same thing on Sunday and Monday. I guess maybe they are growing.
My mom came over on Sunday evening and brought the babies some balloons for Valentine’s day. They really really like them. Kellen has talked to them for hours. Chloe stares more than she talks to them. They have definitely kept them entertained.
The babies and I gave John his ‘I Love Dad’ mug that we painted for him, complete with footprints from Chloe and Kellen. He liked it. We also made a mug for my dad and two heart shaped plates for my mom and John’s mom – all with baby footprints. They were really cute.
Chloe is really close to being able to suck her thumb. She gets pretty pissed off that she can’t get it in her mouth. Kellen is trying but, he isn’t quite as close as she is.

CRAZY I tell you – these babies are 3 months old today! Say it ain’t so Joe! It really doesn’t seem possible. I have always heard that time goes exponentially faster when you have children – does that mean it is going to go twice as fast for me. That would explain some things…
It is truly amazing how much they have changed in such a short time and it only makes me think about how much is going to change in the next few months.
Ummm we have baby fat now – and I love it. Babies are supposed to be pudgy and we have entered into that territory with open arms. In fact, Chloe (aka the Hungry Hippo) was intently watching a little Food Network/Iron Chef Challenge tonight. Kellen had tapped out so; he missed out. Also tonight when they were naked and about to get into the bathtub I noticed how absolutely precious their little baby butts were now. PRECIOUS.
I could just spend hours kissing all over these little people – they are just the cutest two people that were ever born. And no I wouldn’t say I am partial at all. I mean I never thought I would think that knuckles, earlobes, and toenails could be cute but, by god they are and don’t I won’t let anyone tell me differently.
Chloe played on the activity mat yesterday for 3 hours straight – she loves that thing YO. Kellen likes it but, she loves it. This morning I put her on there and then went to make bottles. When I came back she had inched her way off of it and onto the floor. She is beyond a wiggleworm – she is spastic.
Kellen loves to talk to himself in the mirror. He will talk and talk and talk. I think he thinks he is talking to another baby. The funny thing is that when we put him and Chloe face to face he will not look at her. Will not – he will look everywhere but, at her. She looked at him yesterday and busted out a big cheesy grin. It was sweet.
Today we went and scooped up my mom and went shopping for a little while. Kellen projectile vomited in TJMaxx which was nice – first time anything like that has happened in public. So, I had to get down on the floor and clean it up. I kept waiting for someone I went to high school with to walk around the corner and see me with puke on my sweater and jeans down on my hands and knees corralling puddles of puke with paper towels while my child is smiling at me in a puked soaked shirt and pants. Oh and it was the one and only time I have ever left the diaper bag in the car – that was smart, huh? I learned my lesson on that one – even when you think you won’t need it there is always the possibility you will so; be prepared. It is like going to the ghetto – take a gun or leave it behind. Well, if you take it you might not need it but, if you do you will be glad you did.
The babies are going to the babysitter for the first time tomorrow on a trial run. I hope that it goes well and helps me to feel better about going to work. We shall see…
Gotta go feed the babies so; I am hit the hay.

I just can’t believe how dang cute these babies are! I just want to kiss them all over. They are getting chubby – the rings are beginning to show up around their wrists and ankles. Is there anything cuter than baby fat? LOL They are both losing some of their hair which makes them look like they have slight baby mullets – again so cute. Who thought a mullet could ever be considered cute – well, low and behold a baby mullet defies the odds.
Both babies have also discovered their tongues in the last two or three days. It is hilarious because they stick them out, roll them up, and Kellen can roll his over. They are licking things too – me, blankets, their paci. They lick the paci now and don’t seem to want it. They are still working on sucking their thumbs and slobbering a lot in the process.
They continue to be very happy babies – Kellen is like a new man with his reflux medicine. They both like to talk and be talked to – they can also be coy and bat their long eyelashes at you. We still aren’t crying very much which mommy loves! We are close to actually laughing – I can’t wait to hear that.
This week the babies are going to go to the babysitter for the first time, as a trial run, while I go and get my haircut. I am a little nervous but, I know it is going to be fine. They are going to go and stay with the babysitter once a week until I go back to work in March so; that we can transition into it. I am DREADING going back to work. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss them and all the fun things they do.
We are making a little progress on the nighttime sleeping. We are consistently sleeping until 4:30am. I am hoping to stretch that until 5:30 or 6:00 am by the time I go back to work.

I am praying that our battle with reflux is coming to an end. I took Kellen back to the doctor yesterday because he was still projectile vomiting. The doctor decided we should try an H2 blocker for 2 weeks and see if it makes a difference. She also said to continue with the cereal in their bottles and to do it every bottle instead of every other bottle (I didn’t even get scolded for self-medicating. Whoohoo!). I gave him his first dose last night before the 7pm feeding. Within minutes I could tell he felt better. He has been a happier, less fussy boy ever since. 🙂 Oh and no more vomiting thus far – I don’t want to get cocky though, it has only been a little more than 24 hours.
Mommy is also VERY VERY happy that the babies have been sleeping longer at night. Kellen slept til 4:30 and Chloe slept til 6:15!!! I am optimistic that this is going to develop into a long term thing. I sure could use the extra sleep. I would really like for them to sleep through the night by the time I go back to work in March.
Both bambinos weigh about 11.5 lbs. They have both lost some of their hair too. They are so dang cute I could eat them up. I feel so insanely blessed to have such beautiful babies that are so good. They hardly ever cry and that makes me very happy.
Tomorrow we are going to paint pottery with Granny. We are going to make some Valentine presents using their hand and footprints. This could get messy – LOL.

Chloe and Kellen are 10 weeks old today. This week they have both begun to look at one another. It is funny because I am not sure they realize it is actually another baby and not themselves – LOL. They really like music and TV. They have started to take more interest in more of their toys – namely a Glo-worm and Glo-Seahorse. Their eyes get really big when they light up and start to play music.
We are continuing to battle the reflux. We thought we were on the upswing but, thought that just a moment too soon. (Stop thinking you stupid mommy – it always bites us right when you do!) We have changed formulas which was helping until yesterday. We had two projectile vomits back to back – resulting in both Kellen and mommy having to change outfits both times. I LOVE it when vomit shoots down my shirt and collects in my bra. Then proceeds to trickle down my stomach into my pants – it rocks. The second time it was in my hair which I didn’t realize but, also truly enjoy. Thank god the little fella didn’t do it during the middle of the night feeding.
Today I went and bought some rice cereal, after some research on the fabulous internet. We are going to try it at the next feeding and pray that it helps us keep the bottle down.

Today we also went and met with a lady about keeping the babies in her house once I go back to work. I have to admit I was surprisingly happy with everything she had to say. She was very honest and straightforward. I liked that because I felt like I knew what I was getting into. She is cheap too – but, it sooo isn’t about the $$. I have another lady that I am going to be meeting with that will keep the kids in my house. I am becoming more nervous about that because I am concerned that she could bail on me at anytime and leave me without alternative childcare.

Oh and we are sooooo happy that daddy still has his job. Last Friday they laid off over 70 people at his work! Whoo hoo daddy keep working hard.

LOL – I love American Idol. Audition time makes me laugh so much. And I want the iPad.