Picking up the pen again...

While our daughter Algeria was alive, I felt like I had something important to say and a lifetime of memories to record. And after her death it didn't really feel like I had anything important left to write about.

Tonight I realized how ridiculous that is. I was reminded I am in the midst of the best days of this blessed life God has given me. I am walking beside my Beloved as we raise these amazing children all the while purposely enjoying God's beautiful creation. Really what better subjects could I find to write about?

Tonight I've decided it is important for me to start recording our story again. I want to remember these amazing days together. And THIS is the best way I know how.

10th, 11th, 12th, and 13th

Having a large family, it seems I get asked fairly frequently "how many children do you have?" It used to seem like such a simple question. There was a time that regardless of how you looked at the question, the answer was the same. We had 9 children back then.

But then Ali died and it made the answer hard and painful too. After her death, we had 8 children on earth and 1 in heaven and this question was a painful reminder of our loss.

I eventually got used to fielding this question and then less than a year after Ali's death I miscarried Taavi Shiloh.  And the answer got even more complicated.

And then last year, it got yet again even more complicated.  Most people aside from my husband and children don't know that Malachi was actually a twin. We lost his twin, Tomas Zebediah, very very early in my pregnancy. In fact, we learned that he had died at very same time we first learned of his existence some 6 months before Malachi was born. It was fairly confusing emotionally grieving one child while celebrating another. I eventually started giving the simplest answer to most people who asked about the size of our family which was to just answer the number of children we have at home.

And now we have little Malachi who is two weeks old today.

So how many children do we have now?

Well we have 10 children at home.

And Malachi was our 11th child to be born alive.

Yet his pregnancy was my 12th pregnancy.

But Malachi is the 13th eternal soul that I have conceived.

So if you ask me how many children I have and I hesitate before answering, it isn't because I can't count that high or that there are just too many to remember. I certainly remember each and every one. Sometimes it just doesn't seem easy to condense all of their stories and lives into one single number.  That's the not so short or simple answer.

Day 33...

Sunday marked one month that we had been back on the second shift schedule.  It has been tough.  It has been discouraging and overwhelming.  And both Al and I have struggled with complete exhaustion and even despair.

This weekend we talked of our frustrations and our struggles with this current schedule.  We talked about how we both KNOW that God cares about even these little details such as job shifts, but sometimes it is so challenging to remember in the midst of it all.  We talked about trusting God that this too is all part of His plan and that ultimately it was God who was in control of Al's shift.

I pleaded with God to give him some tangible hope.  My dear husband reminded me that "His mercies are new each morning."  I awoke on Monday morning with this verse on my mind, and we both started the week more rested and with better attitudes.

... And what do you know? (God never ceases to amaze me!)

Monday afternoon Al found out that his boss has hired a new 2nd shift supervisor. She starts next week. Al will still likely need to be on second shift for a few more weeks training her before he can return to first shift, but this is such wonderful, unexpected, and encouraging news to start the work week!!!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Happy Valentine's Day?

I am not one who typically celebrates every greeting card inspired holiday- or at least I haven't since high school. :-)

But Valentine's Day is one that I do.  It's not at all about cupids and arrows, the Catholic St. Valentine, or even flowers and candy.  You see Valentine's Day really has a whole other meaning for me.

Some years ago now, there was a distance which had begun to grow in my marriage.  Our life was so busy we had hardly even noticed, and yet it was still there threatening to wreak havoc in our lives if we continued to ignore it.  

But God in mercy chose to open our eyes to the issues in our marriage, and He breathed new life into our marriage on Valentine's Day weekend.  It really had nothing to do with the holiday everyone celebrates and yet the holiday serves as a reminder of the grace with which God has blessed us.

I also wear a ring on my hand to remind me.  It is inscribed with the Hebrew words

   

which are translated "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine."

My beloved husband is such a blessing in my life.  I am so thankful that God brought us together and has kept us together all these years now. 

And so Happy Valentine's Day.  May God always remind us to nurture our marriages and to love one another as Christ loved the church.

Finding my sound...

Lately I have been CRAVING music.  It could be described as an almost unquenchable hunger for music.

The funny thing is for quite a long time before this, I honestly haven't really enjoyed music.  I tolerated it, but it didn't really move me.  I was fairly apathetic toward.  I could take it or leave it just as well.

Lately I have been reminded how powerful and enjoyable music really can be though.  It feels as though I am tasting music for the very first time.  Almost as if I were waking up from some slumber and listening again for the very first time.

I'm kinda picky about the sound though.  It has got to be something upbeat and alive.  Something that makes you want to dance and sing.  But it needs to be passionate and powerful too; it can't be something that is easily forgotten as soon as it is over.  And yes words are important too.  I guess it would be easy to sum it by saying I am looking for music which glorifies God AND helps me to enjoy Him more.

But that doesn't mean the songs must be only about worship in the literal sense either.  I think songs about life are beautiful too.  Songs about love and sadness.  Songs about children and work.  These aren't UNchristian.  My entire life is supposed to be an act of worship.  That includes everything... from the mundane to the beautiful.

Day 4...

Al got home exhausted last night at 3am (which is quickly once again becoming his typical hours). I didn't sleep well either.

So when I woke this morning with a headache, I was also very tired and grouchy! And my attitude was honestly terrible... I don't LIKE 2nd shift and the longer Al is stuck on it, the more I am reminded at how much I DISLIKE it! I just want to go back to dayshift ASAP!

We are all exhausted. Completely switching our sleep schedule immediately without any warning has been exceptionally difficult. And we all look like zombies walking around here. Frankly my flesh doesn't WANT to try to be joyful, let alone thankful...

These were my thoughts, struggles, and attitudes this morning, but I was gently reminded that I am trying to manage this transition in my own strength and I am NOT relying on the One who gives me strength.

I  KNOW this too shall pass. I KNOW we can and will make it through this, but it is still very hard. What I know and what I feel were in definite conflict today.

I told my husband all this before he left for work this afternoon.  I knew all of this in my head, but today my heart just needed a little hope.

Just a little while later, I received an email with some more work for me that needed to be finished as soon as possible.  Strange and as illogical as it may be, this was exactly what I needed to encourage me today.  It was just a little bit of normal.  And something I could easily accomplish and check off of my list of things which need done.

Tonight thankfully my attitude is greatly improved.

And tonight I am truly thankful...
... thankful for my husband's job
... thankful that my husband gets to come home each night
... thankful that we get to spend some time together each day
... thankful for the work God is doing in our lives right now
... thankful for God's provision in work I can do from home
... thankful for all my beautiful children
... and thankful that God still loves me and cares for me even when I am having a bad day!

Please pray that God would continue to give us the grace and strength in the midst of this challenging time.

Busy, Busy, BUSY

Life has been busy lately.

Between Christmas and New Years's we had a lot of fun activities with family and friends keeping us busy.  Then Al had to work last weekend.

I thought things would start to settle back into normal this week, but I was certainly wrong on that one...

This week I got S.W.A.M.P.E.D with work.  It was challenging but I managed to get all caught up tonight.  My dear husband helped out this week by cooking supper for me.  And the extra work this week was very obviously just one more way in which God was providing for our family... another unexpected blessing for which we have thanked and praised Him.

On Wednesday, Al found out he was going back to second shift... on Thursday.  No notice. No adjustment period.  Just drastic and sudden.  We are hoping and praying this is very short-term while they find a new manager for the shift.  But we trust this too is in God's hands.

So this week has so far turned out NOTHING like I planned, but we know that it is exactly what He planned.  And His ways are much wiser than mine!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

We made a birthday cake this year to help celebrate the real reason for Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

6:45pm Christmas Eve...

And I've finally finished the handmade Christmas stockings...  :-D
(I finished sewing them earlier in the week and even got them hung, but I hadn't finished them with all our names.)  I am so excited about these stockings!  The colors in the photos didnt turn out very well but the are Christmas red and green. :)

Breaking the Christmas Fast

When we were first married, we loved to decorate for Christmas.  I had picked out this very elegant theme of cream and burgundy with strands of fake pearls, gorgeous golden crosses, and numerous lighted angels.  I'd never been much of a fan of Santa Claus, elves, or the "North Pole" it always seemed to detract too much the "real meaning" of Christmas.  We tried to keep our focus on Christ.  The whole family participated in the local living nativity story.  We even decorated a Birthday cake for Jesus each year.

But then many years ago (I think it happened somewhere around the time of the birth of our first daughter), we began to question the meaning behind all the traditions.  We were told that the true December 25th holiday was first celebrated by Pagans not Christians; they called it Yule.  The Christmas tree too was supposed to have originated from the pagans.  The beautiful "angels" on the tree didn't really resemble the angels described in the Bible at all.  

And so after studying the history of Christmas and its traditions, we decided it was best not to celebrate it any more. Yes we still gathered with the extended family on Christmas day, and we still sang the Christmas hymns at church, but we stopped decorating, we stopped giving gifts, and we stopped celebrating.

Several times since then my dear husband has briefly mentioned considering ending this Christmas fast.  I have always been very reluctant and honestly probably tried to ignore the notion.  I wanted no part in this PAGAN holiday.

This year was different though.  It wasn't a discussion and it wasn't up for consideration.  My husband said he wanted to get a tree, and (so for once) I finally got behind the idea.  He wanted to make this Christmas a Christmas to remember filled with lots of family time and fun together.  And so this year we are CELEBRATING and our house has never looked more festive.  We have made cinnamon applesauce ornaments, popcorn cranberry garland, gorgeous wreaths, and even numerous jingle bells.  

I am so thankful that my husband is wiser than I am.  I am also very thankful for all the celebration and the decorations. I am thankful for all the memories we are making with the children.

So instead of figuratively saying BA HUMBUG; this year we are proclaiming Merry Christmas CHRIST IS BORN!  And in the process we are living out the chief end of man by glorifying God and enjoying him forever. 

My gift wrapped JESUS decoration

(Close up of the wrapping paper)

Our handprint Christmas tree

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. Corinthians 10:31 

Happy BELATED Thanksgiving!!!

Well I am a little late, but I still wanted to get my post published about thanksgiving before starting in our Christmas festivities here.  

This past year has been filled with life and death, joys and sorrows.  It has been a terrible, yet wonderful year.  Through it all God has been at work, moving mightily amidst our family.

Earlier in November we enjoyed our first visit to the New Hope Fellowship's First Thanksgiving celebration.  We enjoyed turkey, corn bread, frumenty, fresh root beer, and LOTS of great fellowship.  It helped remind us of the wonderful origins of Thanksgiving.  It was truly a wonderful blessing to our family!

(Our family photo taken at the First Thanksgiving Celebration)

Literally the Thursday before Thanksgiving, my husband briefly mentioned really wanting to decorate next year for Thanksgiving athough he thought it was probably too late to decorate this year.  We went shopping that day instead for Christmas decorations at Hobby Lobby.  BUT to our pleasant surprise.  There were still nice Thanksgiving decorations and they were 80% off!!! We ended up buying just a few things to decorate the dining room.

After bringing them home, I wanted to add a few more decorations too, so I made a scavenger hunt for the children to gather some of the miscellaneous items from around the farm we could use to decorate.  Then we all worked together making making some more decorations.

Here are a few pictures (it was really difficult to get the lighting right shooting into the open window)..

 The decorations the kids gathered and I assembled :)

The dining table center pieces

The flowers strand which decorated the picture window.

 You can't really see the decorations in this picture, but I just loved the view of the empty field from the dining room table.

Then on Thanksgiving day, we enjoyed the day spent with our extended family at my mom's house.  We took more fresh root beer and some delicious rosette buns.  On Saturday we celebrated our own Thanksgiving as a family.  My husband cooked a delicious turkey with all the fixings.  The children and I helped with the side dishes.  It was delicious!!!

Work From Home

Early this month I began working again from home.  We were so thankful when God presented this opportunity.  It has been a huge blessing, and just one more way in which God has shown His provision for our family.

My one and only client is the same wire manufacturer I worked for several years back, but I haven't had any work since shortly before Ali was born.  They are also the same factory where both my father and my husband worked for over a decade.  (Well in fact most of my siblings have worked there too at one time or another.)

My sole job is to translate my client's customers' needs into the format the production floor needs to make the part.  The job consists completely of computer work, and I thoroughly enjoy it.  I use both AutoCAD, Excel, Adobe Acrobat and a large percentage of it is computations.  It really fits my personality and strengths very well!

I am spending only 2-3 hours every afternoon at the computer.  I set my own hours and the majority of the work I also set my own deadlines.  It has been somewhat challenging to reorganize our schedule, but it is actually working very well.

Praise God for His perfect provision!!!

Blogs, Blogs, and More Blogs...

We have suddenly become a blogging family. :-D  I have been doing a lot of work this month on revamping and creating our blogs.

The children are very excited to now have their own blog now!  The older children are being given weekly topics for their creative writing blog posts.  We have found this is a great way to motivate them and improve their writing skills.

My beloved is also in the process of starting his own blog Overflow Sincero. His blog was started with the idea that it would be a great vehicle for him to record his thoughts and share them with his children.  Of course everyone else is invited to get to know him better in the process too.

And finally there are my blogs.  Alegria Elizabeth is where I have recorded the life and death of our precious Ali.  I will continue to share our journey of grief there.

And now I also have this blog But Joy Cometh.  Joy truly does come in the morning!!!

WELCOME!!!

I am so excited to finally get started on this new blog!!!

I have a lot of hopes in starting this new blog.  First I intend for this be a wonderful place for me to record God's grace and mercy woven through our family's story as we journey through this life together.  I also hope this blog will be a great outlet for my thoughts by voicing those words which are sometimes difficult for me to express verbally. And finally I hope this blog will be encouragement and blessing to those who read it!!!

We have had so many wonderful adventures this summer and fall, and one of the first things I plan to do is to recall some of them here so that they are not forgotten.

Thank you for visiting!  And I hope you come again soon!!!