A rare post for a crazy time

We're almost half way into 2020, and it's been a crazy year with COVID-19, a virus that has the world closed borders, no travels, lock downs, going out only for essentials and wearing a face mask everywhere we go. What a time to be alive, really. This year will go down in history books and we're all just trying to survive as best as we can in this new reality. I do miss the old life, looking back - 2019 was just great. But I'm certainly reminding myself to be grateful for my privileges, being safe and able to work from home, with little worries. For the record, I've been working from home since after CNY, February to be precise....so it's been 4 months now and counting - pretty sure this will stay for a couple more months. The world is going to be so different from here on, what we deem important, the way we travel, live - I hope the positive ones will stay. For me, I've pushed myself to do the things I've always wanted to do, or do more of: doing more videos, starting to read more (with my kindle), picked up digital illustrations/graphic design (with my iPad). I even finally made use of @ohwildthing Instagram account for my illustration work:-) Constantly reminding myself that life is a progress and we just have to keep learning and improving, staying happy and kind while doing so.

For memories: 

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Over the past few days, I've looked back at old memories and whenever I do so, I can't help but think about the people whom I've once come so close to, but lost eventually. These are feelings you have to experience in order to know. Days like these I wonder how you are, how things might be different if we made different choices. One thing's for sure, we've both changed so much, and we're likely not the same people we were when we were close. I guess I'm better off keeping the good memories of us safe in my heart, untouched. I hope you do too.

Goodnight! 

End of a Decade, Onward to 2020

I've tried hard to encapsulate 2019 in a sentence, a picture, or a paragraph - but it's really difficult. 2019 was a good year, a year of trying to live my best regardless of the challenges. I mean we all are constantly living to overcome challenges but I have worked hard consciously to improve and learn, with work, family, relationships, and on myself.

Work was one big step up for me this year, being promoted to a manager. I learnt how to be someone else's line manager. I took so many work trips this year. I started the year going to Jakarta every single month, which I hated - so many times I didn't know how to hold on, but I did and learnt through these experiences and now 2019 is over - with still the same shit unfortunately, but with a better boss. Nevertheless, I got to fly to London in June to learn and I'm super grateful for that. In 2020 I will finally move into another role, which I'm excited for - hopefully I'll be able to get what I want!

There was a lot of travelling for leisure as well with friends and family, the many many short trips, that helped me tide through the months. The family trip to Australia was great too, cosy and nice.

In 2019, I truly spent my time and energy selectively, with only the people who matter most - family, and those friends whom I'm ever so grateful to have. The people closest to you really shapes you, they are the ones who can lift you up. I will continue to keep them close.

This decade, my 17-26 year old self, has grown tremendously - it's so crazy to even think about how life has been for the past 10 years. I'm very grateful for those years that made me who I am now, and where I am right now.

In 2020, I want to continue to be a better version of myself: to be more patient, to be more thoughtful, to continue being kind. I want to act on what I enjoy doing, and continue to go after new experiences. Lastly, I wish to be able to influence people more and positively, to open more minds and hearts.

I don't know what 2020 will bring, but please let it be good.

xx

Closing 2018

I love how this space has become my go to space for my personal feelings and reflection, & it's time for yearly reflection once again.

2018 has been bumpy. I almost can't remember in detail of what had happened, because I know that 3 months ago I was already looking for 2018 to end. I didn't hate 2018 or anything, I was just, tired. Tired of stagnancy. I want change. That is one thing I learnt about myself in 2018 - stagnancy makes me tired, & I crave change. Change does not have to be drastic, it can be the smallest change that pushes a whole new journey and feeling. 

More than ever, this year I completely acknowledged myself and was not afraid to express my thoughts or feelings, and even actioned on them. 

Putting down what I loved/key events I want to remember in 2018:

Got a house, paid my first downpayment

Acknowledged & overcame a bump in my relationship 

Went to New Zealand and loved it, did skydiving for the first time

Proved to myself that I am capable of achieving, got a promotion for 2019

Keeping all the people who matter in 2018

In 2019, I want to be better:

Patience 

Family 

Courage 

Wishing everyone a very Happy New Year:-) 

May 2019 be the best year yet!

Feelings

Somedays

you miss

being young, excited & infatuated. 

Perhaps age, perhaps phase of life.

But we feel what we feel, right? 

Even if we can't, even if we shouldn't, even if it doesn't make any sense.

Even if it's just a phase.

It's been a year

It's been a year since I came to you, and no I haven't forgotten the place where I seek comfort in - where I share my true thoughts and feelings. Over the years, I often come back here to reminisce, to pend down sad thoughts when things don't feel right. This 2017, it seems I haven't visited this place at all(?) 

2017 was a good year - full of opportunities, growth and love. I was able to be a 'working adult' without constantly wishing I was back in school, fully accepting this new phase of life. Life is progressive, and you will always be changing in every phase in life, so be excited! I witnessed so much life progression this year, mostly with my loved ones - new relationships, job progressions, engagements & marriage.....I'm just so happy to be a part of all these great times. At work, I earned many great opportunities, and a mini promotion. To my fellow comrades working hard in our respective fields, I'm so happy that we're all fighting together, growing older and wiser, and doing life together:') 

Here's to 2018 - taking care of what's important, being true to ourselves, doing things with love always.

Love,

Ven

Dear 2016

You weren't the best year for me, for most of the world I would think. 

But I thank you for the opportunities that landed, the growth I've made & the people who stayed. 

2017 shall be better.

Better starts with a good mindset & willingness to improve. 

In 2017, I will strive to be better, to pursue my interests and to allow growth in every opportunity - be it in moments I love or hate. 

Personally, work wise, relationships.

'Don't waste any time, make the most of every situation and know that everything you do, you grow and learn from it.'

Love,

Ven