Please Stop

I am so sick and tired of the other side of the world - where everyone is so cruel and mean. I am sick and tired of hearing insensitive and unnecessary comments. Why can’t everyone just be nice. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Why do people have this sick need of being so judgemental and critical of every little thing, even if it does not involve them in the slightest bit?! Why do people feel like it is their responsibility to ruin someone’s day, faith, confidence?! How do people find it in them to be so insensitive and rude. Can’t they just stop and look around at all the damage that they have done?! Don’t take your anger out on others. Most personal things can be resolved if you breathe deep and quiet your mind down and think thoroughly. It hurts my heart to see what my loved ones are going through all because of some stupid things other people have said. Please think before speaking or proceeding on with your actions. We all have a brain. We all have a heart. Be wise, be appropriate. Why does growing up affect our manners? When did it occur in people’s minds that kindness is no longer a priority in their lives. Why are some people so polluted. Society, what have you done to yourself. Please stop. It’s unhealthy. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy. Stop hurting my friends. Stop hurting my family. Stop hurting me. Stop stop stop. Being mean isn’t the way of life. It is so infuriating. I am exhausted. Just... Stop. Please. I've had enough. It's been long enough.

Nineteen

My birthday was filled with pleasant unexpected surprises and happiness. (':

Started the day off by going to Bill's for brunch.

The girls surprised me with a caterpillar chocolate sponge cake and the waiters at Bill's sang Happy Birthday to me which made me jump and exclaim a small 'oh my god'. Also, I apparently turned 6 yesterday according to the number candles. Haha. How many candles do 19 year olds have on their cakes anyway? 1 big and 9 small? I think the caterpillar would have had a stroke if they did that for me.

It was such a lovely sunny day so I sat on the field with Nessa after Bill's for a bit and just had a nice chat (while she passed me a few presents heh :P)

^^^^^ I LOVE this shirt hahaha. Rainbows, unicorns and the colour pink! How me does this get??

^^^^^ Thank you Chloeeeeeee!!! (: 

Thankfully I only had one dance class yesterday which went quite well so I was pleased with myself. (: I had a physio appointment after which lasted for 10 minutes because the therapist and I both decided that there's no use for me going to physio. My hip is still a problem for me especially during ballet but I don't think it'll ever fully go away unless I undergo surgery... ): But that's another story. 

There were 2 parcels waiting for me when I got back to Uni. One was from the ever so so so lovely Lucy. I was so impressed by the wrapping!!! It all looked sooooooo pretty. Those who have received gifts from me before know how terrible I am at that. I can't wrap to save my life. 

^^^^ Thank you ever so much Lucy!!! You're so generous and kind (': 

The second parcel really confused me because it was a huge flat black box with the words 'Interflora' printed on it so I thought someone sent me flowers which was rather impractical but when I opened it up, it was a huge box of chocolates. 

There was no sender's address or name or anything. I was quite baffled. I started thinking if it was a prank or if they've sent it to the wrong person (I'm a little paranoid like that). However, when I Face-Timed my parents I discovered it was from them!!!! I also went digging into the box and found this note hidden beneath some plastic:

My parents said to me "Don't forget to share." And I was like "share? me? HAHAHA. Yeah, right." I don't share chocolate >:)

Talking to my parents was so nice and reassuring and lovely. Thank goodness for technology!

After dinner a few of us went to a pub and ordered dessert. I had..... pancakes. Again! With maple syrup and ice cream :P I do love myself some pancakes. 

The rest of the night consisted of playing Heads Up with my flatmates and me laughing to exhaustion. It's been really long since I've laughed so much. 

Also, thank you to these 3 kind kind souls for your cards and heartfelt messages (":

Although I had a really simple birthday, I still felt so loved. Thank you to everyone for your kind wishes, I had such a wonderful day. (:

Here's to my final year of being a teenager and learning to love myself.

Xxx 

The Invisible Person

Life kept rolling her over
like a piece of driftwood
in the surf of an angry sea.  

She was intelligent
and beautiful and well-off.  

She made friends easily
yet she wasn’t able to
put the pieces together
into any recognisable shape.  

She wasn’t sure who she wanted to be
 so she ended up being no one in particular.  

She made herself almost invisible. 

She was the person you loved so much
who really wasn’t there at all.

- James Laughlin

Half A Die

Hello there (:

I had a wonderful day out in Westfield Stratford City today with 2 of my favourite people. Unfortunate me had to wake up at 6am because we were meeting at 10am and it takes me about 2.5 hours to get there ):

My day mostly consisted of eating and window shopping - drooling at all the clothes that I can't afford )': 

But! I did buy a few meaningless things. I basically bought everything I saw that had unicorns and rainbows on them... Hehe :P

The sun decided to grace us with its presence today which was so lovely. We sat outside and watched the world go by while snapping quite a few photos:

 

It was such a relaxing day out although half of our little group was missing ): Distance is such an obstacle in friendships. I wonder when the next time will be where all 6 of us are present. It's hard to know and harder to plan. But I am just so happy that we're all still in touch because I treasure our friendship so much. These girls understand me so well and we've all experienced similar hardships. There's not a day that I don't miss our 2 years spent so tightly together. But hey, life doesn't stop for anyone. There is no pause. 

This DVD reel of my life keeps on playing and playing non-stop. One day it's going to overheat and I'll burn out. What's going to happen then?

P.S. We saw Tom Daley and his boyfriend today. They were literally 1 metre away from us. First celebrity that I bump into since having started studying in England 3 years ago and I did not take a picture D: 

Darling

“

My darling,
Be gentle with yourself.
Your hurts are already bruising,
You do not need to draw blood.

Offer yourself the kindness
You have been saving for others;
Know that you are built
For tenderness;
You are not a stone-walled fort
To withstand a siege of swords;
You are not a deep ravine
With no way out.

My darling, love yourself.
Offer yourself unto yourself
In the temple of your spirit;
You are your own redeemer.
Do not forget the depths of the soul
And that all the answers
Are a garden growing in yours.
Know you are a warm being
And that sooner or later we,
Like moths to a flame, will all
Be drawn into your orbit;

My darling,
Know that you are loved
And that even the universe has
Spent fourteen billion years
Waiting to meet you;
Do not grieve over goodbyes
Because it is a blessing
Simply to have known you -
You, who like a small candle
Have given meaning,
However brief, to the lives
Of others;

Darling,
Know that though you are strong
You were not made invulnerable;
You are not a fortress, so
Hold fast against the storms and
Dig your heels into the ground.
When it is over gather yourself
And clean out the cuts;
Know your first-aid and administer it.
Know that you have done it before
And that you can do it again, my darling;
Know that you cry because you are alive
And that it tastes so damn sweet
When you can finally face yourself
And say the words: ‘I love you, I love you,
I love you.’

”

—	undivineintervention, “For You the Survivor”

Update

Here's what happened over the past 3 months (:

Nessa and I went back to visit our school for their annual event House Dance in February. The time ratio that we spent in school and on the train was 1:3. Haha! But it was so worth it because I was so impressed by the standard - all the girls had improved so much!

Over reading week, I met up with Bernice in London (:  

I also met up with Jevelin! We went to Covent garden and had the best crepes I've ever tasted. 

I love covent garden; the cute shops, good food, street acts. All thumbs up!

We went to Haagen Dazs for afternoon tea; ice cream cupcakes, ice cream macaroons and fresh fruit!!! It. Was. So. Good.

Popped in to M&M World (:

In March I went back to Dower and visited Mrs Bot because she was retiring ):

I also met up with Lucy (impromptu!) and we had dinner at Pizza Express (always a good shout). 

A few weeks later, a few of us returned back to school for Mrs Bot's farewell event! ):

I will miss her so much ): I will no longer visit school as often now that she's retired. She was the Queen and will always be in my heart! (:

A few days ago I went to Brighton with Amber!!! (: It was a sunny but horribly windy weather! ):

Brighton is so so beautiful. I would love to live there some day (:

That's all for today. Hope everyone's having a wonderful Easter. Eat lots of chocolate!!

Xxx