charlienme

I know Charlie is expecting this post. I always write here when it’s about us or I want to keep the post somewhat private. Y’all know I’ve been writing a lot about Ellen on here and that I’ve been extremely frustrated with her. I’ve tried to really distance myself from her because I haven’t been happy with the friendship.

As you know in the past, I’ve house sat for Ellen and taken care of her chickens (which, I can’t stand), dog and cat. I’ve pretty much decided that I’m not going to do that anymore – especially, since the last time she asked me which was one of those many times she’s had to run Louise back to Ar-Kansas – I told her that I was working that weekend and could do Thursday evening and Friday morning (which, meant getting up at 4:30 a.m. in order to allow myself to get to work on time) but that I needed someone to cover me for Friday evening and the weekend. She suggested I call mutual friends of ours and ask them. I was like – “It’s your d@mn house, dog, chickens and cat – why can’t you call them?” I mean, really – seriously? You want ME to call around and ask if they can cover me when I’m doing this as a favor to you? I couldn’t believe it. I ended up doing nothing – I reiterated what I could do and left it at that.

Last Thanksgiving she was gone the same time Charlie and I were. She ended up getting a house sitter (the same one we got who watched the dogs for us when we went to Florida) and paid her. In all the times I’d watched her house she’d never paid me – even when I was unemployed.

Fast forward – Ellen’s taking Louise on a trip for her birthday and asked Charlie to take care of the chickens. Originally, when Ellen mentioned this I had a feeling she was going to ask one of us (– and, I think she didn’t ask me because she knew I was going to say no) I was pissed because she asked her, to be honest. Charlie’s starting school next week and she’s going to have enough on her plate. I feel like Ellen always leaves this problem in our laps every time she goes out of town.

“Well, who’s going to do it if I can’t?”

“I don’t know, Charlie – but that’s not our problem. Ellen has several other friends she could ask.”

“But, they may not live nearby like us.”

“That’s her problem, dear love, not ours.”

I told Charlie that she needed to tell Ellen she’d do it for some gas money at least.

“I feel bad asking her for money.”

“Why? She’d pay Carla to do it – like she did last time. If Carla’s good enough to get paid so are you.”

What also bothers me is that Charlie went over to Ellen’s a few weeks back and got on the roof and blew all the leaves off, cleaned the gutters and even fixed one that had pulled away from the house. Ellen said, “I’ll buy you a burrito sometime.”

A burrito. Really?

I mean, I could understand if Ellen came over and took care of the dogs when we’re away or fixed something on the house or did other favors. I’m all about friends helping friends. But, Ellen’s been so unavailable lately that we hardly see her.

I told my sister all this yesterday on the phone and she thought it was ridiculous.

“She should have at least got her a Target card or gift certificate to a nice restaurant.”

She also told me that I needed to butt out when it came to Charlie and Ellen. That it was Charlie’s deal and that I didn’t want Ellen coming back someday saying that I screwed up her and Charlie’s friendship. I understand that but I don’t want to see her being taken advantage of or taken for granted. Charlie did relent and tell Ellen that she’d do it for some gas money and Ellen agreed.

In another situation – there ‘s this couple down the street I’ve been friends with for years and one of them has breast cancer. I’ve been helping them out and I completely don’t mind, want to do it and don’t expect or even want anything in return.  I can’t imagine what they are going through. One of them came by the house today and spoke to Charlie and gave her $40 for us to go out to eat.

“Y’all been so great in helping us. Take it.”

“Ok, but that’s the last time we’re going to take $ from you.”

Why is it that some people you just want to help and know that the universe will play it forward and others you feel like you’re just being taken for granted and used?

Read Full Post »

I know I haven’t written on here for awhile (so long that I forgot my user name) – I was just talking to Charlie about this the other day among other things.

“-and, very first on my list of deal breakers is if you collected dolls. “ I hate dolls – they remind me of dead babies.

We were walking the dogs and talking about our deal breaker list. I had been reading Augusten Burroughs book Possible Side Effects to her at night before bed and there was a story in it about Augusten’s bf taking him to some bed and breakfast and the old lady running it had a doll collection and he was freaked the f*ck out.

That would be me and –

-secondly, I don’t do bed and breakfasts. No way. Why in the hell would I want some stranger getting into my business while I’m on vacation? The having coffee and breakfast with complete strangers would not be a good experience for anyone involved. I told Charlie that I’d rather camp in the rain than drink coffee with a complete stranger.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have some small, bitchy dog, too.” This was one of Charlie’s deal breakers.

“Oh, like a Chihuahua or a Weiner dog?”

“Yeah, one of those – I don’t think I could handle that.”

“I can’t handle a bunch of friggin’ cats laying around.”

“Oh, so you don’t want to get a cat?”

“Hell no – I did the cat thing – for twenty years those things lived. If I never see a litter box the rest of my life it will still be too soon.”

“One of mine is shaving. I’m glad you shave your legs and [other areas].”

Charlie and I are pretty much on the same page about deal breakers which is a good thing. This brings me to another subject –

-it’s seems like it’s really friggin’ hard to hang out with people lately.

With Ellen, it’s hard because she doesn’t get home from work until really late most week nights and the Louise thing. Louise just isn’t all that pleasant to hang out with – when she participates and not puffing away on her pot pipe. Normally, if Charlie and I go out during the week it’s for a drink or “date night” to a local bar in the ‘hood. Ellen was texting me this past Thursday about her unhappiness with the Louise situation when Charlie and I happened to be out on one of our dates. I was reading the texts to Charlie and granted we both feel sorry for her but at the same time want to shake her.

“I almost want to ask her down here for a drink.” I felt sorry for her.

“Ask her if she’s still at work. If so, it will be hours before she’d make it –especially, if she brought Louise.”

“Yeah, no, I can’t do that.” I didn’t feel that sorry for her.

Ellen is unhappy with the situation Louise has put her in -or let her put her in. This is something both Charlie and I have seen coming for a very long time. In fact, this Louise thing has been dragging on for so long that both of us are seriously over it. I’ve resigned myself to not making any sort of plan(s) with Ellen until Louise is gone (Supposedly, this is going to be the end of the month but we’ll see.) because it frustrates me so much.

On to other friends:

I get that when lesbians people “couple up” they disappear from society. Despite Charlie and I still being in the honeymoon stage we still get out and do things. We ask people to do things. We ask people to parties that they dont show up to. There were are a few couples that we’d like to do things with but they’re never available and every time we ask they’re busy. I admit that I’m really f*cking over it worn down by it. Last Saturday we decided to go out to a local bar in Decatur and shoot pool. I texted one of these couples [early]  and got a reply back “Definite possibility. Will touch base later.”

Then later: “Don’t know if we are going to make it tonight. We’re still out running errands and don’t expect to be done until 7 or later.”

Really? You have to go buy toilet paper instead of popping in for one drink? is what I wanted to say.

“Everyone’s f*cking lame.”

“I know, they are, hon.”

We went out and shot pool anyway and then went to have drinks at another restaurant. I noticed there was a male couple sitting next to us at the bar who I later struck up a conversation with while Charlie was in the restroom. They seemed very nice and left me a business card. (I did email them saying ‘let’s get together for a drink soon’ but we’ll see if we hear back. I wondered if they were just being polite and have no designs on being friends with lesbians. But, you never know unless you try.)

“Maybe we need to make some new friends.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Earlier that day we had gone by the store of a [male] couple we know and I had asked them if they wanted to come over for dinner one night and they said yes. The next day we were walking the dogs through Piedmont Park. It was a beautiful day. I don’t know how we got back on the subject but maybe it was because I had mentioned texting Alana, too, the previous night.

“It was her birthday yesterday and I asked her if she wanted to come by for a drink but she said she was on her way out to dinner.”

“You know, this slays me. She never asks you to do anything or even includes you in plans and yet you still text her from time to time when we’re out to ask if she’ll meet us for a drink.”

“I know – I mean, I’m not even going to let it drive me crazy anymore wondering why her and her gf who I’ve known for years never extend invitations to me -now us.”

Then, I pulled up FB and saw that she said this after the text I sent: We walked into our fave Italian restaurant tonight and I was thinking we would have a quiet birthday dinner (because tomorrow is a big football day). The door opens, I hear “surprise!” and see 10 of our bestest friends.

Knowing that I’m not included in the “bestest” friends category really bothers me and really makes me want to just stop making an effort. Really, I’m tired of always having to make the effort. So, my question to you all – what would you do? Would you want to move on or keep it the same?

All I know is that I’m glad I have one best friend: Charlie

Read Full Post »