Worn

The last week has been a roller coaster of emotions: excitement, fear, joy, panic, and heart break.  We got a call early last week about a birthmom who popped into our adoption agency looking for forever parents for her unborn baby girl.  She was Choctaw so it was an easy match since John has his Choctaw registration card.  We felt like this was the little doll baby that would complete our family.  We have had 2 failed adoptions since March  and we really believed all the brokeness was leading up to this blessing..

We were honored to witness sweet baby Nora Sophia Rose's birth on Friday morning and spent the next several days bonding with her and her birthmom.  We brought her home with us on Saturday afternoon and introduced her to family and friends.  Turner & Lydia instantly fell in love with their "Baby Nora". 

Then out of no where- our world was turned upside down by one little call....on Monday the birthmom had changed her mind, she had decided to parent. 

NOT AGAIN God, PLEASE....my heart can't take it.....

Needless to say, this song explains EXACTLY how I am feeling...absolutely worn, my heart is heavy.....I have been mediatating to this song every day because I don't even know what to pray for - but God knows my heart and my hurt

Yesterday I was doing a new devotional and it really spoke to me.  Often as Christians, we pray to get "out" of the hurt and pain....but just maybe we should  pray for God to help us "through" the pain instead. 

I was reminded by a dear friend, counselor, and mentor that many times in the Bible Jesus wept and so did those who followed him.  I often feel guilty and ashamed to grieve because if I have complete faith and trust in God, isn't grieving going against him....NO.  I needed that reminder that it's ok to be sad, angry,  cry out to God and ask WHY.  I have no doubt he is weeping with me as we navigate through this pain and heart ache.

So what now......we have decided to put our profile on hold for at least 3 months and spend alot of time in prayer and fasting.  I have no doubt God will reveal his desire for our family during this time. 

 In the meantime we will enjoy all the blessings God has given us and cling to the truth that His Love NEVER Fails.

Watercolor- dreaming of the beach

Nothing like updating nearly a month after we have been home from the beach!! 

We spent the 1st week of June in Watercolor Florida with my parents, Aunt CC & E, and Lynn and Karen.  How can you not have a blast with that crew!  We laughed, ate, swam, ate some more, rode bikes, shopped, ate some more, and most importantly just enjoyed life together with family.  My sweet Turner reminded me the other day that families stick together!  Indeed real family does. 

Enjoy my many pictures!!  Believe it or not, I only took my camera to the beach 2 days :)  Imagine all the pictures I'd have if I took it every day!

 Nearly every day we would treat the kids (and yes us too) to either Sno Cones or Ice cream...some times we'd even treat ourselves to a 2nd helping!

 Turner is no doubt our little beach bum!  He was super excited to be at the beach and was ready to get his feet wet

 Daddy even took a little swim

 Throw the ball to me!!!

 Ready, set, throw

 Gonna give boogie boarding a trie

 waiting so patiently for a  BIG wave

Here goes nothing!

 Enjoying the sun with Lolly

 Did I say this boy loves the beach!  Sand and all!

 Now sis was a different story

 Pops' favorite spot, in the nice cool shade enjoying the breeze from the ocean

 Mommy & Turner enjoying the water

 Happy kids = Happy mommy

 Be. Still. Oh. Heart

 After a few days, sis finally warmed up, however she'd prefer if her feet didn't get sand on them.  Notice the shoes and the boogie board!

 Is that not the cutest little booty you've ever seen

 Diggin for crabs and sea shells

 Cheese!!

 Uncle E has her heart

 The kids made friends on the beach and enjoyed a few hours of crab hunting

 Super shades for the Super Star

 Having fun with Aunt Cc

 Muscle Man

Our house this year had wrap around porches on both levels!  It was so nice to let the kids run around and enjoy the gorgeous weather

These two spent one morning with Lolly & me shopping, or should I say looking, at all the neat shops in Seaside

 They love their Lolly & Pops

 Crazy Abundantly Blessed!

The whole crazy gang

 Thanks to Lolly, Pops, Lynn & Karen- we got to have a fun date night with Aunt CC & E. 

 Livin the rough life

 Dinner at the Red Door- highlight of the dinner, seeing former OSU basketball coaches Eddie & Sean Sutton

 Turner begged to be buried alive- it was shallow, promise

 I think this is Turner's dream summer job!  As long as he lets mommy come and spend the summers with him, I'm all in!

 This year, Lydia was potty trained so we learned very quickly how to pee pee on the side of the road.

This was sis' 1st reaction to the beach :(

~Showin some love~

Waiting patiently outside our favorite Sushi restaurant. 

We are blessed to go back in August with all the Satterfield clan.  We can't wait to show them our favorite spots and make memories for a life time!

Thanks Lolly & Pops for yet another super awesome vacation!