What do you do when your good isn't good enough?

I hope the time apart helps.
It really is something we both might need.
You won't solve any problems by running away, sweetie. The only choice is to face them head-on or remain stagnant.

I hope you think through your emotions carefully, and how your actions have spoken against your subconscious.
Humans love to escape negative thoughts. We try to run at first sight, it's the easiest and fastest route.
I believe there have been countless times you wondered where this would lead to, and what is it exactly that you're hanging on to?

Likewise, I've done some thinking on my own part, weighing the happiness I get out of this relationship, what I actually deserve against what I've actually received, and how much longer I'm willing to tolerate such things.

I feel like, I love you, but you love yourself. You know?
I've told myself countless times that I'm fine. We'refine. I'mfinewithit. BUT actually, I ain't fine. I AIN'T FINE WITH WHERE I AM STUCK NOW. Far from it.
You're probably stuck at that level too. Maybe you need some probing into your deepest thoughts, the ones linked to your subconscious, and listen to that inner voice which tells you things that spurs certain reactions.
Maybe it's not that relationships are troublesome, or that you're not ready for one, or that you don't know how to love someone properly, maybe you have some deeper resentment you've cast aside, yet it nags at your subconscious..
Maybe you are your own obstacle cos you deny yourself from facing your deeper thoughts.

If you came clean with the outright truth, you might relieve the happier side of yourself and discover that communication can actually be a breeze, you need not keep all negative things to yourself (and explode one fine day).
At least you can heave a sigh of relief to know what you truly want out of this, and what steps you should take to fulfil it.

Gifts from my lovely friendssss

Okay you my friend, just acted like a Santa Claus.
On the very day that I uploaded the kitty polaroid pictures, he called me down to collect something from him, and tada, just hours later the very same item I was lusting for was right before my eyes.

Apparently, he saw my previous blogpost on Jan10 where I casually mentioned the polaroid (without pictures then). And he got his sister (who just flew to Japan) to get it on his behalf!! OMGGGG I never expected to receive that as a present from anyone, because its too expensive and its not even my birthday?! And he even got me the kitty film to go along with the present.
OKAY IM LITERALLY AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

And that's not all, the bag came with many Japanese goodies too!!

Friend, Y U SO NICE TO ME HAHA. Just wanna let you know that I really appreciate and cherish it! ^^
Shall treat you to a meal soon, I cannot accept such huge kindness without return!!

And this is the organiser I received from beloved Huishan as a Christmas present, something which I promised to upload pictures of a long time ago:

Sorry if the colour looks weird, i edited it to look slightly vintagey!

THANKYOU MY LOVELY FRIENDS!!!

I really can't live without an organiser, this book shall be my lucky companion to tide me through 2012 smoothly! HOPEFULLY haahha

Sunny and cloudy

What do you do when someone has sent you into a state of confusion?
Sit down, inhale deeply, yet the final verdict is - you are still unsure of how to proceed.

It isn't funny lah really. One moment you're prince charming, the other you're the devil's worse nightmare. Make up your mind leh. I definitely do not have all the time and energy in the world to dedicate to the self-centered you.

Just when I wanted to re-prioritze my happiness, you made it seem like the world revolved around me. Thanks ah. Now I'm stuck anticipating your next move, yet expectations tend to lead to disappointments.
HOWHOWHOW?!!! ):

Beginning of 2012.

HELL YEAHHHH IT WAS A GREAT START TO 2012, where fun and laughter filled the air around us.
Got to eat Western food for dinner, followed by a round of drinks and nachos amdist all the chattering and buzzing sounds of excitement in the air!!!

Did I mention how much I love such festives? :P

Last night was superb especially when I got to spend the countdown with my 2 beloved girlfriends - Huishan & Melodie <3

CHEERS TO 8 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP AND COUNTING!!
May each year be merrier and filled with more joyous moments to come!!

Spray cans, party hats, party blowers, party poppers, party masks were all provided inhouse by the bistro we dined at - Cafe Frenzie Bistro & Bar @ Punggol, 10 Tebing Lane

When the clock turned 12, tadahhhhhh the sky went ablaze with fireworks and *POP x INFINITY* were the sounds that encompassed the surrounding! ^^

So chill, yet so hyped up. This is the result of celebrating countdown at neighbourhood areas with your closest friends, with the bonus of seemingly '3D fireworks' (they were literally bursting right in front of my eyesssss in the plain open grassy patch). Thank goodness the crowd dispersed pretty fast, and we were able to leave the place without jostling anybardyyyyy.

Followed by a late night movie at AMK hub - 'the darkest hour'. Found this show pretty cool, a sci-fi/thriller without zombies and aliens. Mel likened the 'monster' behind the electromagnetic waves in 'the darkest hour' to the one from the movie 'the green lantern' LOL

2011 WAS GOOD BUT 2012 IS GONNA BE AWESOME!! STAY TUNED HEHE^^
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I noticed that you've tried to pay more attention to me today, doing things like automatically coming forward to help me dry my hair, taking a chair for me to sit beside you and eat, pouring me water to drink etc. All these small details which actually help to make my day better. And I'm actually quite surprised you gave me a gift to kickstart 2012 well?

I kinda have my queries about this gift, but I shall give you the benefit of the doubt since today has been a gud day so far ^^
Shan't let any minor hiccups spoil my day!!!

Nevertheless, I hope that your gentlemanly attitude is not just LIMITED TO TODAY'S BOUNDARIES.
If continue being secretive and revert to being a super asshole, then too bad. It will be time to say byebye. I'm ready to have a great year ahead, anything/anybody that makes me suffer more than my happiness does not deserve to remain in my life. And when I have set my mind on it, you better mark my words.

Anyway, a beautiful start to a beautiful year. May you have the confidence to create a beautiful love between us, and not let the memories of your past stop you. Look towards the future, and move on from the shadows of your past. Forget about 'what if's and excuses, take the chance to love courageously.

"Stop and reflect on everything you did in 2011. Remember the people that played a part in your life, regardless small or big and appreciate them. The times we opened ourselves up to new beginnings or adventures, or closed ourselves up, for fear of getting hurt by love. All the broken friendships or relationships, all the arguments, all the promises made and broken, take a step back, forgive the other parties/party, learn, don't repeat the same mistakes and move forward. " - Stella Mascara

AND YAY!!!! ITS TIME TO USE THE ORGANISER HUISHAN GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS!! WOOPEEDOOP ^^