Saturday, March 22, 2008
after a year..
must've been a very busy year, not a single entry. woooo. well, a lot has happened with the span of one year. there were combinations of emotions & feelings such as happiness, pain, loneliness, excitement, disappointments. . . . . . . . . . . . hmmmmmm. i lost focus. :p with all that has happened, i really don't know where to start or what events to highlight. i can't seem to put them all in words. oh well.. :p
Sunday, March 18, 2007
another 4 months?
whoa, i didn't do this on purpose. i just felt like blogging and it just happened that it's been another four months. hehehe. anyway, the second semester's about to end.. just two more exams on tuesday and it's done. hmm.. lemme evaluate..
one: before the semester started, "fear of the unknown" thing was there. but then, as i went through the semester, i just simply said, "not bad.." :) well, yeah, although i made some gaps to a few.. i'm still working on it to get things back. but yeah, like i said, it wasn't THAT bad, not exactly the way i had imagined it would be. there were surprises, too. i never pictured out that i'd get this far, pertaining to my studies, that is. and also, having a precious treasure which i thought was just something there.. it's like you see it for, maybe a long or short time, the physical existence, but you never expected to see its "special"-ness. ;) it's nice. but the big question is.. "am i ready?"
two: grrrr.. reshuffling of blocks again?? adjust napud. i'm not really good in changes. it usually takes me a long time to adjust. hahaayy..
three: isn't it heartbreaking when the two special group of friends of yours let you choose between them? *sigh* it's so heartbreaking. it's like tearing yourself apart. when in fact, having them makes you whole. complete. then, they wanna let you choose one. sucks.
one: before the semester started, "fear of the unknown" thing was there. but then, as i went through the semester, i just simply said, "not bad.." :) well, yeah, although i made some gaps to a few.. i'm still working on it to get things back. but yeah, like i said, it wasn't THAT bad, not exactly the way i had imagined it would be. there were surprises, too. i never pictured out that i'd get this far, pertaining to my studies, that is. and also, having a precious treasure which i thought was just something there.. it's like you see it for, maybe a long or short time, the physical existence, but you never expected to see its "special"-ness. ;) it's nice. but the big question is.. "am i ready?"
two: grrrr.. reshuffling of blocks again?? adjust napud. i'm not really good in changes. it usually takes me a long time to adjust. hahaayy..
three: isn't it heartbreaking when the two special group of friends of yours let you choose between them? *sigh* it's so heartbreaking. it's like tearing yourself apart. when in fact, having them makes you whole. complete. then, they wanna let you choose one. sucks.
Monday, November 13, 2006
with just four months..
let's check. i last blogged on july. it has been four months.. and i must say, things have changed and it's amazing how four months could do. ;)
i predicted that my first sem would be so bad.. scary.. and lonely. it would be the first time to be in a class without any fellow nerdlings. i thought i would be so alone. i wasn't even excited on the first day. but i guess i was wrong. i was not that bad ...and i wasn't that alone. :) i have my blockmates before. i never thought that i would get along with them. i never thought that i would find a twin -- nyahaha! really. her name is nina. and it's weird because everybody kept on calling me "nina". "twins mo?!" would be the question that is never absent during new acquaintances. we've been blockmates since first year college and it's just now that we get to spend a lot of time together. we call each other "twin", hehehe. and it's not just nina, lovella or "love" also became a friend. then the three of us have spent the first sem together. we're often called "charlie's angels". nyahaha. so, i wasn't alone. i have friends. and i'm thankful that i do have friends in this block. it's okay that i don't have any barkada. at least i have friends, i just hope that i am not wrong in thinking that they are true. but about barkada, i know the nerdz are my barkada. it's just that we don't have the same time to be together all the time. but i am cool with it.
my blockmates? hmmm.. they're cool. i like them. silent & behave, yet so wild & outgoing. i met lots of new faces because of this reshuffling of blocks. i met different kinds of personalities. i've learned a lot from them. one thing i've learned from someone is to value & appreciate my life. but this is really different this time. it's like i've encountered so sO many people who'd say that i should appreciate my life and what i have but i never really took their words seriously.. not until now. i am appreciating my life now. i am quite happy. :) for the past months, i have learned to love my life, with all its simplicity. and i am so glad that somebody made me realize that. i am so thankful. i just hope this person knows it..
i read the past blogs. well, basta. that was before, everything's somehow different now.. different good. ;)
i just hope this feeling of contentment -- contented of how i am, of my friends, of my block, of my performance in school, of my family, etc -- will stay for good. . . because feeling so down and low really is difficult for me. i don't want to go back to that feeling anymore.. which really scares me.. because it's the start of the second sem. i wonder if things would still be the same. yeah, "fear of the unknown" is what it's called. i guess. i just hope things will go well. :) uhmm.. during the first sem, i didn't notice how nice it went through. i only realized it when it was over. that sucks. basta, more sacrifices & hard work is coming. hope everything goes well. :D
i predicted that my first sem would be so bad.. scary.. and lonely. it would be the first time to be in a class without any fellow nerdlings. i thought i would be so alone. i wasn't even excited on the first day. but i guess i was wrong. i was not that bad ...and i wasn't that alone. :) i have my blockmates before. i never thought that i would get along with them. i never thought that i would find a twin -- nyahaha! really. her name is nina. and it's weird because everybody kept on calling me "nina". "twins mo?!" would be the question that is never absent during new acquaintances. we've been blockmates since first year college and it's just now that we get to spend a lot of time together. we call each other "twin", hehehe. and it's not just nina, lovella or "love" also became a friend. then the three of us have spent the first sem together. we're often called "charlie's angels". nyahaha. so, i wasn't alone. i have friends. and i'm thankful that i do have friends in this block. it's okay that i don't have any barkada. at least i have friends, i just hope that i am not wrong in thinking that they are true. but about barkada, i know the nerdz are my barkada. it's just that we don't have the same time to be together all the time. but i am cool with it.
my blockmates? hmmm.. they're cool. i like them. silent & behave, yet so wild & outgoing. i met lots of new faces because of this reshuffling of blocks. i met different kinds of personalities. i've learned a lot from them. one thing i've learned from someone is to value & appreciate my life. but this is really different this time. it's like i've encountered so sO many people who'd say that i should appreciate my life and what i have but i never really took their words seriously.. not until now. i am appreciating my life now. i am quite happy. :) for the past months, i have learned to love my life, with all its simplicity. and i am so glad that somebody made me realize that. i am so thankful. i just hope this person knows it..
i read the past blogs. well, basta. that was before, everything's somehow different now.. different good. ;)
i just hope this feeling of contentment -- contented of how i am, of my friends, of my block, of my performance in school, of my family, etc -- will stay for good. . . because feeling so down and low really is difficult for me. i don't want to go back to that feeling anymore.. which really scares me.. because it's the start of the second sem. i wonder if things would still be the same. yeah, "fear of the unknown" is what it's called. i guess. i just hope things will go well. :) uhmm.. during the first sem, i didn't notice how nice it went through. i only realized it when it was over. that sucks. basta, more sacrifices & hard work is coming. hope everything goes well. :D
Saturday, July 08, 2006
routine.. shhees!
my life has always been a routine. i'm kinda sick of it.. "i want adventure on the great wide somewhere. i want it more than i can tell. and for once, it might be grand.. to have someone understand. i want so much more than they have planned.." a verse from beauty and the beast that somehow describes what i am feeling. okkeeii, some say i live a simple life. but it's likely becoming boring.. i go out of the house, go to school, learn, talk to a few friends, go home, study when i feel like it then sleep. every day. every single day.. looking at other people: they have their barkada.. with their trips and all. stay late at night.. drink til they drop. go where the flow takes them. i don't have that kind of barkada. i am not even sure if i have a barkada. i'm still looking for the place where i belong.. where my heart longs for. and i think i want that kind of barkada.. i guess i haven't found the right peers.
or maybe.. this kind of life is where i belong(?) *sigh* who knows.. maybe i'm just looking for something not there. you might say i should just stick to what i have and appreciate it rather than dreaming for something.. let's see..
so anyway. last friday, we were told to have our return demonstration on bed-making the next day. our c.i.'s gave us one night to memorize the procedure and the rationale. so, i planned of going home after class to memorize. but then, some nerdz invited me to hang out. . . i took the opportunity. hehe. it was unusual of me to go home late at night with a big requirement that must be prepared the next day. well, in life, we must take risks. ;) how many times do i get to stay late at night? once in a blue moon lang.. and would i just reject it? hehehe. kinda desperate? not really. i just want to sit back and relax. hehehe. well, it's a good thing that i wasn't called to do the demonstration. i only had the following morning to start memorizing.
looking forward to more surprises in life. ;)
or maybe.. this kind of life is where i belong(?) *sigh* who knows.. maybe i'm just looking for something not there. you might say i should just stick to what i have and appreciate it rather than dreaming for something.. let's see..
so anyway. last friday, we were told to have our return demonstration on bed-making the next day. our c.i.'s gave us one night to memorize the procedure and the rationale. so, i planned of going home after class to memorize. but then, some nerdz invited me to hang out. . . i took the opportunity. hehe. it was unusual of me to go home late at night with a big requirement that must be prepared the next day. well, in life, we must take risks. ;) how many times do i get to stay late at night? once in a blue moon lang.. and would i just reject it? hehehe. kinda desperate? not really. i just want to sit back and relax. hehehe. well, it's a good thing that i wasn't called to do the demonstration. i only had the following morning to start memorizing.
looking forward to more surprises in life. ;)
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
stare out in space
all of a sudden, your whole world crashed right before your eyes; without any single idea of the cause, without any precautions, everything was a surprise and you were left unprepared, unarmed. you have done all you could to keep your life on track but still, it crashed.. so, there you were, hardly able to accept the situation. but with the help of God, you slowly moved on..up to the point of enjoying life and trying to rebuild your world. . . . . . that crash made you strong and wise. but what are you going to do when it comes back? are you going to arm yourself? are you going to risk it because you either destroy world again or learn to deal with "it" and probably be happy once again?
huh?.. crap. i forgot what figure of speech this is. basta, i dunno if i am making any sense..
huh?.. crap. i forgot what figure of speech this is. basta, i dunno if i am making any sense..
