Happy...

I love Christmas! It was a small one this year, but it was great.

I got one of these babies:

Oh! You didn't know I was a nerd? I didn't tell you? 

I am! And so proud of it. Did I have fun with this little cube? Why yes! I did. I couldn't put it down. And now I can solve it. With my eyes glued to the instructions. Haha.

One of our family traditions is to make homemade pizza for Christmas dinner. A little atypical, but so yummy. I loaded every single topping we had. Me gusta Supreme! And we had a homemade blackberry slush with Sprite. Delicious! I was shivering the whole time.

And this morning I ate cold leftover pizza for breakfast. Nothing better than that in the whole world. 

Today we will watch It's a Wonderful Life and let Jimmy Stewart teach us the true meaning of Christmas. I love that movie. We watch it every year.

The most exciting thing of all was that I dreamed!! I used to dream all the time, but the last month or so I didn't dream at all. Too many things occupying my thoughts all the time. But my stresses are over, and I sleep in all the time, and I finally dreamed! 

And true to the nature of my dreams, it was totally weird. I dreamed that I was driving an invisible stick-shift car. (I guess it was a subconscious manifestation of my true situation--I don't have a car and I'd love to learn how to drive a stick.) But wait! That's not all. I was driving this invisible stick-shift car north on the freeway. Where exactly I was headed, I don't know. I do vividly recall flirting with another driver, who happened to be driving his own invisible stick-shift car. So there I am hovering over the asphalt of northbound I-15, shifting gears with nothing in my hands, while this attractive man who is hovering next to me dazzles me with his Australian accent.

*Sigh* 

But then the dream shifted like dreams do. And I was still in my invisible car, but the Australian hottie disappeared, and I was at this ranch house/cabin type building somewhere up in some really green hills. The hills looked kind of like the ones we drove through when we visited my mom's best friend up in Woodstock, NY. And there were little kids that I didn't recognize, and this Granny and Gramps were feeding them sticks of butter sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. And these kids were devouring them like they were popsicles! Sick. And somehow--you know how you know things in dreams? Like you don't need anything explained at all, you just know?--I knew this boy's name was Bambi and he and all of these people in this house had a tradition of hunting deer. And they were just getting ready to leave to go hunting. 

And then I woke up. Craving venison. 

Kidding. 

Snow...

The snow. WON'T. STOP.

Please, please, please stop!

I have things to do. Presents to buy. I need to go the bank. I need to stop being cold. I need to get warm.

And I can't.

Because the snow has been going since 9:00 am. And it's 4:00 pm.

And it. WON'T. STOP.

Awkward....

So... 'tis the season for contemplating and pondering. I was hoping some deep and inspiring thoughts would flood my mind. But no. Only every single awkward cringeworthy moment in my entire life popped into my head. Like one of those really old movie reels. They just kept playing in front of my eyes. One right after the next. Just when I thought one was the most awkward, one that would top it came to mind. It was awful. It was like my life flashed before my eyes, except I saw no good happy moments, just the most embarrassing and AWKWARD and awful icky ones.

Therefore...in no particular order....

My Life (as it flashed before my eyes in awkwardness):

-- Every time I have fallen off the bus.
-- When I was at Burger King with my mom, and I was eating French fries, and I looked to my right to see this guy with his hood pulled up over his head, his hand was covering his mouth and nose, so all I could see were his eyes....staring intensely at me....uhhhhhh....
-- Being asked by a woman to marry her nephew in China in order for him to get a green card. "It would only be temporary! I will pay for your plane tickets and everything. When are you free?"
-- Stupid guy at basketball game scooting into the empty seat next to me, leaning right up against me, pointing to his cheek and waving at man with Kissing Cam.
-- Blind dates. Having my blind date walk me to the door. Blind date wanting to hug me, but me not wanting to (I don't even hug my friends until I've known them for at least a couple months--I just can't). So blind date tries to shake my hand. I don't see him trying to shake my hand, until he drops his hand. So then I shake his hand and run inside totally cringing. Ugh.
-- Country dancing with really strangely intense kid. He nearly wrenches both my arms out of their sockets, he's pulling so hard. Ouch. Looks me in the eyes the entire time. I look at anything but him. After the dance, he bows low over my hand, not once taking his wide staring eyes off mine and drawls, "Thank you." Eyes still wide and staring, he backs away from me. I run away.
-- Walking straight into a pillar and spilling a whole pitcher of water on a gigantic Polynesian man while waiting tables last Christmas break. And I mean gigantic. To quote Jim from The Office, "I thought I might die."
-- Falling asleep in class. Bad things always happen.
-- Saying something loudly because everyone is being noisy, but they happen to fall silent the moment you open your mouth. Yeah. I think we've all done that one.
-- Having that black guy (he looked like a gangsta) hit on me after work last Christmas break. "I just wanted to let you know that I've been watching you, and I think you're really cute. I come here a lot, so hopefully I'll see you again." I find out later that he chased down and asked every single waitress about me. And they all felt the need to tell me everything he asked. Which boiled down to Stacy's summary (said in a really rich Southern accent), "Who is that bee-yoo-tiful woman?!" Eeeep! It was one of those surreal moments where you can't help but be flattered and totally creeped out at the same time. It doesn't happen very often.
-- And so many, many others. But these were some of the best...or should I say worst? Haha.

Brrrr...

There was a blizzard today. And it just wouldn't stop. I had to take one of the kids I was babysitting to a doctor's appointment and then pick the other kids up from school. A distance of 20 blocks. A drive back and forth would take about 20-30 minutes. I did it twice. Should've taken only about 45 minutes. Hah!!! It took..................TWO WHOLE STINKIN' HOURS!!! Where is the justice in this world? Two hours in a messy, sticky minivan!!! I almost cried. Not to mention....they made me listen to Radio Disney the whole time. Which happens to be an AM radio station. It. Was. Torture.

Buying jeans is torture too. It's a battle that just cannot be won by me. A size 6 in the regular length will fit me perfectly, but a size 6 in the short length won't. I don't know what to do. I just want a pair of jeans that fits. It would be a dream come true. I would believe in Santa, the Toothfairy, Peter Pan, and even the Boogeyman if somehow I could find a pair that fit my waist, my butt, and my short little legs. Yup, it would definitely be a miracle!

Complaining aside, there's lots to be grateful for. A nice, warm minivan with a working radio. Working windshield wipers. A defroster. Nice roads even though they were caked with snow. Warm coats and gloves and socks and shoes and sweaters. Hot chocolate. Blankets.

There's a quote above the door at my boss's house:

"Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family. Having both is a blessing."

Well, I've got them both. So I've got blessings. Can't really complain now, can I? I've been able to go to many places for various reasons and needs. I've got my apartment with my beloved roommates in Logan. That's home. I've got my house in Orem. That's home too. Sometimes, I need to get away from those, so sometimes school is home. This is so nerdy, but the Orem Public Library is home sometimes too. One time it was too noisy at my apartment to do homework so I found silent refuge at the Brick House #1. That was home for the evening. One time I was really upset and needed to run away, and Brooklane #8 took me in. That was home for a few hours.

And I have so many people I love. SO many. I love my family, as difficult as it may be sometimes. I love my extended family, as weird as they may be sometimes. I love my roommates and their families. I love my ward. I love the bishopric of my ward. I love every single individual person in my FHE family (even the ones who refuse to come). I love my home ward. I love my neighbors. I love the important teachers that I've had. I love the strangers I see who are good to each other. I love the cute older brothers I see taking care of their younger siblings. I love the sweet older sisters who do the same. I love the people who shovel the snow on each other's sidewalks. I love the kids that I mentor at the middle school. I love the other mentors I work with. Even though it's hard, I even love those kids who stole my Barbies when I was eight and living in Venezuela. I've finally forgiven them. Haha. I love my friends, the ones that have been with me since I was little, and the ones that I've made up here at college. I love the Prophet. I love the Apostles. I love Jesus. I love God. My gosh, I've got a great family!!

So who cares if it took what felt like half my life to go twenty blocks? I had a lot of time to think about everything that I love. That can't be a a waste of time at all! :)

Mmkay...

My mother is so strange sometimes. She likes to tell me how she cusses in the Mandarin classes she teaches at UVU. Also, she told me to get up and get dressed "all cute" today so that I could help her administer the final in her class--I'm thinking, Wow Mom, so now you need two people to hand out a little packet of paper to each person. Seriously?--but then I found out the real reason she wanted me to come: so that I could (and I quote) "check out the guys." Good gravy, Mom!! But then she ended up going to my cousin's wedding beforehand, so she had to go straight to the final and had no time to pick me up. Oh well. I was really torn up about it. Hah.

I watched the second-to-last episode of the The Biggest Loser. Cos that was online and I could watch it. I love that show. I wish I hadn't missed the finale. I've been watching faithfully the whole season, but finals hit and there just wasn't time. But there was a wee video that had a clip of the winner. Sooooo glad that the lone member of the Black Team took down the entire stupid Blue Team. They were all a bunch of snitty sneaky snots. I'm so happy Michelle won. She totally deserved it. And she looked so beautiful and happy. What a great show! Except it makes me hungry. Which is an interesting side-effect, considering the whole point of the show. When I watch the Food Network I don't get hungry. I want to try the dishes, but I'm not hungry. Why is that, do you suppose?

And tonight I babysat the kids I nannied over the summer. Little Matthew is speaking English now, and it's so cute. Wow, he learned so fast! We played with my camera and they showed me how they can do cartwheels and dance and I laughed. A lot. It was a good time.

Plus, I am reading a book for FUN!! I seriously can't remember the last time I did that. Well, except for when I read Pride and Prejudice when I should've been doing the readings for class. But I can't live without Mr. Darcy. Let us be clear that I am speaking about Book!Mr.Darcy. Cos contrary to what many people will say, I thought Colin Firth was a very boring Mr. Darcy. Whoops! Did I say that? :)

Anyway, I am reading Persuasion Nation by George Saunders. It's a collection of very satirical short stories about current political issues. My friend Cody recommended it, and I must say that I'm enjoying them very much. Next up on my list is a little more Jane Austen: Northanger Abbey and Sanditon. After that, Children of Men by PD James. I'm interested to see where that one goes. Reading. The best part of Christmas Break. I love it. 

Car...

I almost got hit by a car this afternoon. It's five hours later and I'm still freaking out about it.

I decided to walk from my house to the library, which is like two miles away, but I had eaten a huge lunch (The Chicken Florentine Flatbread sandwich at Subway--it was yum! I totally recommend!), and I needed to clear my head anyway. Well, I was passing a house with a nice, steep driveway (in my stake, though not in my ward--if the person had been in my ward, I might have completely lost it) and I looked to my left to see a car whooshing down backwards towards me, white lights glaring at me telling me that the driver was in no way about to stop, and, contrary to the car's action, my heart just stopped. I let out a yelp and leapt out of the way. I kept walking in a dazed stupor, and the car drove past me, the driver had the nerve to just mouth "Sorry!" at me through his rolled-up window and speed away without a backward glance.

As if I hadn't gone on a walk in the first place to try and de-stress. As if I didn't have enough plaguing my nerves already.

Thanks a lot, IDIOT!!!

Sadness...

I've been feeling down for the last few weeks. And I finally figured out why. I've been slammed with more changes than I know what to do with. I can't keep up with them. And I'm scared.

1. Meg is moving out. She's going on a mission. Her side of the room is completely stripped and bare, and it looks so wrong.
2. We'll be getting a new roommate in January. Not necessarily a bad thing, but when I've been with the same 5 girls for almost 3 years, it's a shock.
3. Erica will be gone next summer. It'll be down to four.
4. Everyone but me will be graduating in a year or so. I'll still be here. Forever.
5. My little brother will be leaving on a mission in January. Never had that happen to me.
6. My bishopric will be released in February. The thought breaks my heart.
7. I feel like I'm growing apart from some of the more important people in my life. Schedules and lives are too different sometimes.
8. I feel like I live too many separate lives.
9. I failed a class. That has NEVER happened. My fault, but still.
10. I feel incredibly lonely sometimes. Yeah, the whole lonely-in-a-crowd thing. That never used to happen. Except in books and movies. And now it does. All the time.

And that's to name only a few. Basically, I feel like I've been hit by a truck. An 18-wheeler. And I guess I'm kind of vulnerable right now. All the finals' stress that has been taking up all my time and attention is gone now, and I have no choice but to think about everything I didn't want to think about before.

I have a bad habit of holding everything in because I convince myself that nobody cares anyway, and then one little thing triggers an avalanche of emotions. I have no idea what the little thing was today, but the emotions were triggered and I spent a good couple hours crying today. And I never cry.

And it's supposed to be a vacation. One filled with joy! I'm so ashamed of feeling sad and sorry for myself, but I can't stop!

Home At Last...

I finally got home. Finally!!

I thought I was going to get to go home on Friday. No such luck. I went and dropped off a Christmas present and made my goodbyes fully expecting to leave around 5:30. The plan was for me and Erica to meet up with the rest of our roomies on Temple Square to see the lights and open Christmas presents. But Erica's project was taking so much longer than expected, so I went to the studio on campus so I could help her. I wrote the concept statement for her project because I'm an English major and I make it my business to make words sound pretty. I also did the materials board. So if her project wins at the competition, it's all cos of me. Just so you know. :)

Anyway, we were there until 10:30. By that time, I was in no condition to drive anymore (having been running on about four hours of sleep during the last two days--Erica was running on even fewer hours and her mom had forbidden her to drive), so we just went to Wendy's and collapsed into bed. We woke up to a blizzard. So we just looked at each other and went back to bed.

Saturday night we went and did a little Christmas shopping, I did a little mystery-solving (curiosity has been satisfied and I can now go on to wonder about other things), we ate at Cafe Rio, had a really nice heart-to-heart where I was able to get some of my worries off my chest, and then we treated ourselves to Mamma Mia! I love that movie...so much...I don't even have enough words to express the love that I have in my heart for that movie. Then home and bed.

This morning, we had no food. We had nothing in the fridge, nothing to drink, nothing to make. We had cereal and oatmeal, but no milk. So we trudged into the kitchen and we each got a granola bar. 

Ten minutes later, I heard Erica desperately wail, "Chessie, I'm hungry!!!" so I went on a quest to locate some milk, which, thankfully, I found at Macklin's. And so we had delicious hot oatmeal for breakfast. After that, we went to a family ward sacrament meeting so that we could leave early. And then it snowed.

I went slightly beserk. "Erica, we have to go! We'll starve here! We can't hibernate because we haven't stored any nuts!!!"

After sacrament, in which we saw the most beautiful mullet ever seen on a man (Allie snapped a picture of it on her cellphone), we made a break for it, and here I am!! Home, safe and sound, in good ol' O-Town.

And I've already got two babysitting gigs. I guess my boss was really excited to have me home for Christmas. Haha. Well, 'tis the season of giving, and if she wants to give me money, I'm all right with that.

Snow....

There is snow on the ground. Like six inches of it. It is very beautiful.

*Sigh*

I'm not ready for it.

Neither are my fingers.

Or my toes.

Huh?

I am confused right now. But not about anything in particular. Do you ever feel that way? I just am perpetually perplexed these days. I walk around and I don't know what's going on (even when it's happening right in front of me), I don't hear people when they speak to me, I miss things that I should be able to notice. I'm just confused. I wish I could figure things out and figure people out, and figure myself out, and figure out where I fit in with these people that I haven't figured out. Sometime I wonder out loud about people and why they say or do the things they say or do. I'm not gossiping, just good-natured wondering and curiosity. And then I wonder if people wonder out loud about me. And if they are good-natured when they wonder about me. Or if they are mean-hearted when they wonder. Of course, this is assuming anybody finds me interesting enough to wonder about me at all. After which I feel extremely self-conscious and nervous and embarrassed. Which is stupid of me. But I do. I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

I remember being told that I was so oblivious in high school and then I got to college where my roommates told me I was oblivious. I don't mean to be. I try to notice the things I should, but I'm easily distracted. I like to think the best of people and I hate it when people are annoyed or angry with me. And I'm always worried about that because I'm too oblivious to notice when people are upset with me. And I don't like to get in fights. I hate confrontation. I want everybody to be friends. Which is why I have a hard time taking sides. Which is why I was subconsciously distracted so I didn't register to vote. And then I didn't vote. And then people got a little upset with me. Which I can't stand. Even though I think it was jokingly (again, too oblivious to notice), I bet there was truth at the core. So then I keep wondering. And then I think there's really nowhere in this world I belong. I have too many places that I've come from, and too many places I've gone. And then I get this weird achy lonely feeling inside. Like I'm missing someone or something. But I can't find them or it. Whoever they are or whatever it is. Like it's lost or something and I don't know where to look. And then I get upset and sad. And confused. And it starts all over again.

How do you get it to stop?

Blue...

I feel blue. Yes, folks, I have officially failed the first class of my college career. My life as I have known it thus far is over. I'm resigned to the fact, but I must admit that I'm in shock. But like I told my friend Rachel...it was either trying and failing the class (while losing the entirety of my sanity), or not trying and failing the class. I took the cowardly and less stressful way out. And struck my roommates dumb when they heard. And Kenny and Isaac. I've never seen them so speechless in my life. Of course, I haven't known them long, but I've known them long enough to know that they always have something to say. And they had big eyes, and wide mouths, and no sound coming out of them. If it hadn't been such a tragic moment, I would've laughed.

And it was Bagel Wednesday too. Usually such a joyous time. And it was joyous. For as long as the Asiago Cheese Bagel with the Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil Cream Cheese schmear lasted. And then I took the last bite and the joy was gone.

I can't believe myself. I need some ice-cream. And some root beer. Good thing I have both. *Sigh*

P.S. I'm going on a road-trip to Missouri to hit up some of the Church Historical sites. I'm kind of excited to get away. Anywhere away from here sounds wonderful to me.

P.S.2 Einstein Bagels has T-shirts that say "I'm Dreaming of a Schmeared Christmas." Hahahaha!

P.S.3 I got nine dollars for my Anthology of Medieval Literature. After the nightmare I went through this semester, that nine dollars is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Sad...

I am not a crier. It takes a lot for me to cry. I cry in movies, but you know it's not the same thing. I think I told myself when I was younger that crying meant you weren't strong, and I didn't want to be like that. But I'm not the stubborn ten-year-old I used to be. I realize more than ever that I'm not strong at all. I need help to do things, and I don't like to be alone. Sometimes I do, but not usually.

I realized today that I will most likely fail one of my classes. There is no possible way for me to do the paper in it, and even if I ace the final (I doubt it!), I still don't think I can pass the class. But I might. So I don't know what to do. Take the final or fail and retake the class. It won't really put a dent in my GPA because I've been good all three years. I called my mom so that she could reassure me that I wasn't a bad or stupid person for failing, and she rose to the occasion by listing all of the bad grades she ever got in college. My old boss was with her, and she joined in by listing her bad college grades too. It's horrible, but I felt so much better.

I still felt so upset and stressed, so after I hung up, I went into my closet, turned out the light, closed the door, sat down and just cried. I just felt so silly, and hopeless, and ungrateful, and wasteful, and basically...I was despairing. It's an awful feeling. I don't recommend it. It's just that I had no motivation. I hated the class from the very beginning, but I felt obligated to stay in it because it's so hard to get into English classes because they cap them off at 30, and professors will never sign you in. Nothing in there interested me, and I put off everything to the very end. And now it's laughing in my face. I realize it's all my fault, but how could I do well in something I despised?

I guess I'm just trying to justify my actions. I have no excuse, but really, it was the bane of my life this semester. I can't feel bad about it. I'm trying so hard not to.

Anyway, I needed to run away, so I texted a friend who dropped what she was doing, and she and her roommate and I jumped into a car and went for a drive. We got slushies, and then went down to the pond where we played in the snow. I finally felt human again. Thank God for good friends. They were so sweet!

So what do I do? Take final and most likely fail, take final with the slimmest hope of passing, or fail and retake the class? Cry some more? I feel like it.

Sweet Sweats....

I was in the campus bookstore with my good friend Katy, when this incredibly good-looking guy comes up and asks us for advice on buying a pair of sweatpants for his sister-in-law. Katy and I both have the sweats so we know how amazingly comfortable they are. Really. They are fantastic! Anyway, so we go around the rack with him, looking at all the different colors, and he asks us what we think of everything: the lettering, the tie at the waist, the colors.

We asked, "Does she like brown?"

He said, "I dunno."

"Well, what do you think of this?"

"I dunno."

I asked him what size she was and he said she was a small, so then I asked him how tall she was, and he looked at me and said she was about my height, so I told him to definitely get a small (even though I have medium--they didn't have smalls when I bought them). So he takes the hanger off the rack, and holds them up to me against my waist. Then he looks me up and down for several seconds and goes "Hmmmm...." Hahahaha! But they were so long they were folded on the ground past my feet. So he holds them up to himself and says, "Look at them! I could wear them!" Katy and I reassured him that they would be fine, and that they were amazing, and everybody should buy a pair. So he smiled and told us to consider them bought, thanked us, and left for the cashier.

Katy and I (in mouthed whispers): "He was SO cute!"

Good day. Despite the fact that I had only had two hours of sleep the night before because I had been writing a paper for most of it. But I got a two-hour nap that afternoon. So lovely. And then I went with Katy and her roommates to the Institute Choir concert. So much like high school cheesiness, except about five times worse. There was just too much random weird dancing in it. I laughed much more than was polite. But before you think it was all bad, it really wasn't. There were some really good songs here and there.

Then I went and played games. I actually tore myself away and went home early. I was so so tired.

And now I am in the library. Wishing I didn't have to write a 5-page paper. Or do a grammar test. Or an online discussion. Or another 8-page paper. Or study for three finals.

*Sigh* Help.

P.S. My roommate Megan is an aunt for the first time. It's so exciting!! I wish I were an aunt. But not really, that would mean scandal for my family. My siblings are way too young for that. That's for sure! No, I guess things are they way they should be!

Mistaken...

I was walking down the hallway at the middle school to the classroom where I work. All of a sudden, I hear an authoritative and slightly annoyed, "What are you doing? Are you headed to class?" I turned around to see a teacher looking at me suspiciously.

She thinks I'm a student. Good grief. I realize that most of the eighth graders are taller than I am. But honestly? I smell good. BIG difference.

I told her I wasn't a student, and that I was actually a mentor. She looked slightly abashed.

"Oh sorry. I thought maybe you were whoever was singing in the bathroom."

I raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. I only sing in the bathroom at home." And then I walked away.

Hahahaha. I actually said it. And I think I embarrassed her. It was a good day.

Tragedy..

My 7:30 class this morning is Food, Technology, and Health. Pretty good for a science class that I hate. Today we were talking about food (as usual), but our teacher showed us various slides that represented six decades worth of starving children, men, and women in several African countries. It was so heartwrenching to see little children and babies looking like tiny old men because they are so shriveled and stunted from the lack of food. I couldn't help it. I started to cry. I don't think anybody noticed, but my eyes were tearing up the whole time. People worry about the production of food, but that's not the problem. It's getting the food to where it needs to be and to the people who need it most. The average family of four in the U.S. throws away 122 pounds of unwanted food every month. The food isn't even necessarily bad, just wasted. People are starving, and I complain when I can't decide what to cook myself for dinner. I feel like a horrible person now. Despite my own troubles, I live a blessed and privileged life. One more thing for which to be be grateful.

Gorgeous...

I was kind of annoyed this morning. Since it was 7:30 and I had to go to class and all. I was pondering the benefits of having such an early class. Like Kenny told me, at least he gets paid for it. But then I looked up and saw this:


I don't know about you, but I think that sunrise made getting up this morning totally worthwhile.

Dear Elder Wirthlin, you will be missed. God bless.

Home...Not Alone...

Family Home Evening tonight. We all wore PJs (well, most of us) watched Home Alone, ate Mallo Magic popcorn, and drank fabulous hot chocolate with candy canes. Yum! I love that movie. SO funny.

Kevin: (grimacing at a photograph of a girl with a psychotic look on her face) Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!

Hands down, best line.

Thanksgiving Break. Lot of fun. Spent time with the fam. Killed my mom at Boggle. Which was monumental. She never loses. Ever. Went with Mikey to see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. So inappropriate, but so laugh-inducing. Big family party. Then frozen yogurt at Red Mango with Mikey and Angela. Then the movie Australia. Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. The movie that NEVER ENDED! Actually, it ended about ten different times.....and then kept going....and going....and going....and going. First it was about horses and cattle...and then it was a romance....and then there was dancing...kissing....scandalous hanky panky...then more cattle...kissing...and then it was a war movie....bombing....kissing...bad guy gets impaled to death...more kissing...the end...finally.

P.S. It was horrible. Just in case you couldn't tell.

Amazingly exciting story this week. Dad came to pick me up for Thanksgiving and we went out for lunch because I hadn't eaten for two meals because I ran out of food. We were just catching up on news, and he mentioned that my mom got in touch with the woman that had taught her the gospel in Taiwan. I didn't take much notice but then my dad was like, "By the way, do you know any Sheanshangs?" I thought that was a weird question, but I said, "Yeah! Katy and Emily live in the apartments right next to mine. Katy's one of my favorite people ever!" Dad told me that Katy's mom was my mom's missionary. I immediately texted Katy, who told her mom, who freaked out and told everyone she knew. Haha.

But that's not even the most amazing part. A few years ago, I was looking through some old photo albums. I was looking at some pictures from when I was about seven. There was my mom, my brothers and I, some unfamiliar lady and her kids. I asked my mom who the lady was and Mom told me that it was her missionary. I immediately forgot about that until the moment my dad told me the craziness. Suddenly, everything started to fall into place and make sense...missionary...us kids...unfamiliar kids....those kids had to have been Katy and her siblings... Yeah. Found the picture this weekend. Brought it up and Katy, Emily, and I were laughing like maniacs over them. It's so nuts to find out that our moms were so closely connected and that we didn't know it, even after being friends for over a year. And then to find out we actually knew each other when we were kids. It's just loco.

But so cool. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Katy's mom. Definitely something to be grateful for this Christmas. :)

Pain!!!

There is not a square inch of my body that is not crying out for mercy. I hurt so much. I had to go to this aerobics class yesterday in order to make up an absence in my Pilates class and, oh sweet heavens above, it was the most grueling, wretched workout of my life. It was so good, but I literally cannot walk right now. She made us do squats, and lunges, and high kicks, and jogging, and jumping jacks....and all of this awful stuff....and now my legs are like jelly. I almost fell down so many times walking down the hill from campus to my apartment today because my legs were still shaky and wanted to collapse. I'm sooooo sore. I can't believe how sore I am.

It hurts to sit down. It hurts to stand up. It hurts to lie down. It hurts to roll over. It hurts to turn. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to walk. It hurts to exist. It had better stop hurting soon. It's getting annoying!

She's a Lawbreaker...

We went and broke into the tunnels underneath the school. Lifted up the manhole cover, dropped in, and all that jazz. It was all very Ninja Turtles of us. Plus we all had codenames. I was Asian Invasion, Traci was T-Mac, Kenny was Brown Sugar, Kyle was Pebbles, Isaac was The Doc, Yvette was Checkmate, and Luke was The Chef. We took pictures too.

And then after we all got out, we walked over to the Haight Alumni Center, where Kyle (he works there) let us in and we explored and took soda from the refrigerators. It's a building where they have receptions, parties, and guest lectures, and stuff, so they have a guestbook. We all signed it---with our code names. Hahahaha! Then we went back to our place and watched Get Smart. Which was...interesting. :) All in all, a brilliant night. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Today I sang with three other people in sacrament meeting. Even so, I was shaking like a leaf. My hands were quivering so badly that I could barely turn the pages, and then when it was over and I sat down, I was shivering and my teeth were chattering, even though I wasn't cold at all. I'm glad that's done with.

I get to go home for Thanksgiving on Wednesday morning. My parents are coming to get me, so I can take all the junk I brought up home. I need a break, but it really won't be one because I have to write three papers and finish a huge creative project. Yuck.

We are about to watch some old Charlie Brown videos. Yay!!

Help!!!

BYU vs. UTAH football game. Erica's boyfriend is sitting by me. He is SCREAMING. I am going to go deaf. I can't concentrate because he is standing up yelling every other second. If he's not, he's throwing a couch pillow. My home has become a hazard.

Seriously. What is the big deal? It's a little egg-shaped ball being tossed around by a bunch of excessively muscled boys. Sheesh.

Kidding, kidding....sorry....don't kill me. Except I'm not kidding that much.

I saw Twilight with friends last night. SPOILER ALERT!!! It was the absolute worst film I have ever seen. First time Edward came on the screen, the screams made me jump. I yelled for everyone to shut up. But of course nobody heard me. The first time Bella and Edward kissed....the screams were absolutely deafening. It was disgusting. The best parts were the baseball game and where Alice rips James's head off. Alice and Emmett were spot-on, but that was it. It really was SO horrible. I kept snorting and snickering during the whole thing. Got scuzzed off about a hundred times. Pretty sure the entire theater hated me. See how much I don't care. Haha.

Thanksgiving dinner was a huge success last night! So many fun people came. Kyle's friend from Rexburg and Kenny's little brother, Luke, came too. After dinner, delicious drinks, and pie, we all headed over to Kenny's to play games....until 1 am. Let us just say that Isaac, Yvette (sp?), and I slew everybody at Cranium. I am an amazing artist with my eyes shut. That's all.

We went and did baptisms at the temple this morning. Then we went to Sis. Call's for breakfast. She made us cream-cheese-filled French toast, sausage, and orange juice. It was fantastically delicious. I was about to take a nap when my phone became assaulted by texts from Isaac and Kenny for me to come eat food and play games. I tried to get them off my back but no dice. Plus I found out that I accidentally stole Luke's Coca-Cola cards. So I had to return them and then I stayed to play. So stinkin' easily persuaded. Gah.

I am going to break into the tunnels tonight! YES!!! Pretty sure I've waited my whole life for this.

In Her Humble Way...

My roommate got her mission call yesterday! After school and work, all six of us crammed into her Buick LeSabre and booked it all the way to Clinton. She is going to the Copenhagen, Denmark, Danish-speaking mission! Which also covers Iceland, Greenland, and the Farce Islands (whatever those are)! She leaves March 11th, so I don't have to mourn for her quite yet. :) It's SO EXCITING!!

We were late getting started back to Logan, and I had to submit an quiz on Blackboard by midnight, so I didn't get to go with Kenny and break into the underground tunnels below USU. Telling him I couldn't come just about broke my heart. I was so excited to do that....hopefully, he will go again, and let me come. I love doing things like that. I broke into the football stadium last year to play Ultimate Frisbee. Oh, the utterly marvelous thrills of illegality!

I'm in class and a kid just leaned over and was like, "Those aren't notes..." No, Alex, they are not! I should probably pay attention. But really...that's no fun at all. Neither is the library. Where I am headed after class. Grrrrrr....

Actually, I think I will go home and get breakfast. I"m hungry. And I have lots and lots of cold cereal.

Yum!

Speaking of food...tomorrow we are making our annual roommate Thanksgiving dinner. And can I just say that we make the best darn apple pie around? Cos we do! It's amazing! I get to make them tomorrow. Also, I am going to see Twilight with friends at 4. Hahahaha! I'm very excited to make fun of it. :)

12 Minutes...

Once again, I'm sitting in the library. Third time this week, second time today. The first time I was here at 9:00 am. I bought an almond poppyseed muffin and a chocolate milk for breakfast from the cafe. I downed them and headed upstairs to the third floor to my favorite curvy couch and table where I fully intended to write my paper for my science class. That paper--which I haven't started--is due in less than four hours. Those intentions flew right out the window when I discovered how surprisingly comfortable the couch was when I lay down on it. That's right. I was zonked until right before my next class. Not much done there.

Now I am back again. In a hard chair. Nowhere near a couch. In front of a hard table. Surrounded by people. I would be too self-conscious to sleep here. I might accidentally drool and that would be embarrassing. Or I might kick something. My foot tends to have a mind of its own and it likes to kick sometimes right before I fall asleep. I have some funny stories about that, but I have no time to tell them. Let's just say they involve me sleeping in class. Yeah.

I should be writing my paper, but I wanted to get all my fidgets out. So I have six minutes more to do it.

I forgot to mention that I had a really strange dream when I was asleep. I dreamed that there were people singing and dancing around a Christmas tree in the library, and that I was still lying on the same couch. They were all dressed in flowy, sparkly clothing and some of them were shimmying which seemed a little inappropriate for the quiet sanctity of the library. It was kind of like that dream sequence that Jimmy Stewart has in "Mr. Krueger's Christmas." Except there was no MoTab. Or sleighs. But I think the people that were dancing around the tree kind of reminded me of the Chamber Choir in high school. Haha. Scary!

One more minute.

I really don't want to write this paper. There's a reason I'm not a science major. I suck at it.

Aaaaaand..... time's up!

I Need a Hero....Cos...

-- I watched Hercules tonight for FHE. I could use one of him. He could totally obliterate the Ray B. West building with his little toe, and then the school would be forced to build a new building. How awesome would that be? No more invading box elder bugs. What a beautiful life that we English majors have never known!

-- I have 3 papers, a creative project, and four finals. And they are all happening on 3 days of Finals Week. Why, oh why, do I have a paper, a creative project, and a final...all in ONE class? Most nice professors have two out of the three. Even nicer professors have the term paper be the final. Bless your heart, Dr. Crumbley. I'll never again make fun of how you said "elephants" instead of "elements" or "porpoises" instead of "purposes." I'll try anyway.

-- I'm so tired. I can't get everything done. There aren't enough hours in the day, or minutes in the hours, or seconds in the minutes, or.... I don't know what comes after that. Let's just say that it will be impossible.

-- I just want one. Just one little measly hero to make that bad things go away for a little bit. Is that too much to ask?

Hmmmm....

Things I Am Doing....

- Sitting in the Merrill-Cazier Library

- Fully avoiding my paper for FTH (Food, Technology, and Health)

- Listening to David Archuleta

- Texting Mikey

- Wondering about things....

- Why people swear...
- Why I accidentally let a cuss word slip out every now and then
- Why some people are always around but you don't know why....they're total mysteries...
- If I am one of those people that are always around...yikes....
- What is that clanking noise that is interrupting my musings?
- Where my roommate will be going on her mission...
- Whether we should watch Hercules or Mulan for FHE....
- Why the weather is so beautiful and I'm stuck in the stupid library....
- Why I am in jeans instead of sweats...
- Why my fingers are so cold....
- Why I have so much school left to go....
- Wondering what life will be like having only 4 roommates instead of 6....when we've been together for 3 years...
- Why I never go to bed on time....
- Why I'm not getting anything done...
- Why I always get major hiccups when I brush my teeth....
- Why I accidentally used my roommate's toothbrush the other day....or why everybody managed to reveal that they've all done it....haha....

- Wanting to go home

Called to Serve...

My little brother got his mission call today. My little brother that everybody thinks is my older brother because he is taller than I am. I wasn't able to go home, but he called me while I was at the middle school so I could listen while he opened it. I ran outside just as the bell rang and all the noisy kids spilled into the hallway. I headed out the doors near the soccer fields. He opened it and I heard "....Taiwan...." and a huge WHOOP from my parents and I jumped up and down and shrieked like a banshee. Scared some little seventh-grader to death as she came out. And then I started to cry as he read the rest of the letter. And cried. And cried. Scared some eighth-graders. Poor kids. And then I went back to mentoring with my eyes all red. He leaves January 21. It's so soon, and yet....not soon enough. We've been waiting a long time for this. I'm so happy!

It was my roommate Erica's 21st birthday. We celebrated at Chili's. Honey-Chipotle Chicken Crispers. I think that's what they're called. Yum. I am SO FULL!! I need to stop eating out. I would stop if people would quit suggesting it. I am going to run out of money.

And then we all went and soaked in our hot tub. So pleasant and relaxing.

It's been a good day.

And a guy in my ward told me that I was "so damn cute." Or he was talking about my hair. Can't remember. Haha. Either way, I dunno how I feel about that one.

Fat...

My stomach is distended. I just ate at Panda Express with my BFF Kelli. We have been friends since I invaded the sixth-grade monkey bars. That is a story for another time. Did I mention that we are going to Scotland? Teehee...

Too much food. But so good! But too much! And then I got Coldstone. Dark chocolate mint. So scrumptious. I totally recommend. I need the next millennium to digest. Seriously.

Cafe Rio. Pork salad. Ginormous. I always feel obligated to eat the entire thing. I'm not that big of a person. But I eat the entire thing. And then I lie down on the couch begging Heaven to send me Death. Every. Single. Time. You'd think I'd learn.

You'd also think I'd've learned to do my homework by now.

Hahahahaha....

Sleeeeepy...

No more games. They make me tired.

Family Home Evening always manages to turn into a 4.5 hour event. It's because after most everyone leaves, I stay behind and play card and board games with my FHE husband and his roommate and friends. I have decided I am so easily talked into anything. If you can give me a good reason....scratch that....ask me to do anything...seriously, anything, and I'll do it if it means avoiding doing more important things. Like homework.

"Chess, stay and play."

"Okay. One game and then I really have to leave."

One game is played.

"I have to go."

"Oh, come on. Just play for a little while more."

"Okay."

I admit to them that I am really easily talked into anything. I play some more.

"I really have to go!"

"But we're just about to play __________."

"Okay."

__________ is played.

"Seriously....I have to go! I've been here for two hours!"

"One more game!"

"Oh, okay."

Before you know it, it's almost midnight. And I have class at 7:30 in the morning.

"Wow! You really can be talked into anything! You want to go running sometime?"

"Wow! You just found the one thing I can't be talked into. I'm going! Good night!"

My roommates will go running with them. I will stay comfortable, cozy, and non-sweaty at home.

[BIG smile]

Muffin Bandit...

I found out who ate my muffin. It wasn't Isaac or Kenny. It was Oliver!!! Also, it was yesterday that he ate it. He found it in Kenny's car.....a week after I left it in there. Oh gosh....how gross! They kept the muffin liner for me. How thoughtful and sweet. NOT!

Traci and I played games with the Hoytsville boys. Yes, apparently Hoytsville is a real town here in Utah. Those guys have an inordinate amount of pride in it. I never heard of it until a month ago. We played Liars' Dice (fun, but I can only take so much of it) and I lost miserably at Nerts last night. I am so out of practice. It was tragic. I tried Nutella for the first time. Excuse me...I experienced Nutella. Not my words. It wasn't too bad. Kenny put it on a crepe with whipped cream and it was actually quite delightful.



I have to register for classes tonight. I hate it. I have like five classes I need to take, but they only count for 13 credits. I need one more....but it will mean that I won't be able to work. Which means I can't save any money. We will see.

I know my life is comparatively easy to some, but right now it feels really, really hard.

Oh Happy Day!

I am happy today cos....

-- I gave up writing my paper last night and I skipped class today

-- I went to Smith's today and there lots of good sales on snacks

-- I like snacks

-- I went to McDonald's today

-- I am watching "You've Got Mail"

-- Tom Hanks is in "You've Got Mail"

-- So is Steve Zahn

-- I am going to "Fun"due night at my friend Spratt's house

-- I am going to see "The Dark Knight" at the 3-dollar theater tonight (with my roommates, my neighbors, my hubby, and my children)

-- I have bat-shaped Reese's

-- I am having a sleepover in the living room with my roommates after we come home from the movie

Melt...

Oh gosh....the sweetest girls came by. Jaelise and Krystal came over with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a note thanking me for being FHE mom. I've been so sick to my stomach with stress and on the verge of tears all day. I still am but I feel so much better. Their coming over was just what I needed. How did they know?!

I am just about to start writing my paper and here's to staying up all night.

Oh, help......

Grrr....

I spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out who ate my missing pumpkin chocolate chip muffin that I got at FHE. Granted, I did forget and leave it in Kenny's car (I eventually figured it out), but now I've got conflicting stories as to who ate it. Kenny says Isaac did it, Isaac says Kenny did it. Then they called each other liars. Kenny said I can't trust redheads....and then Isaac called Kenny a blonde-headed (insert mean name) ... And now there is a war. Some husband and son. They stink!

And yesterday, Cody stole my yoga mat when I fell asleep in the writing lab. I still haven't got it back, he's currently out of town, and I have Pilates in the morning. I could use a school mat, but seriously.....talk about NAST!!! Who knows whose sweat is on those? At least with mine, it's only mine.

And I have a 5 page paper due on Thursday and an 8 page rough draft due on Friday.....and both of them are impossible!!!

Seriously...what have I done to deserve all of this?

Owwww....

I fell off the bus today. All the way off.

It was raining this morning at 7:00. In case you don't know...when it rains, the ground gets a bit slick. Especially the floor of the bus. You know the little grooves they put in so as to create traction in times of rain and snow? USELESS!!! Completely POINTLESS!! They don't work!! At all! It's a lie!

There were about fifteen people on the bus and I was the first one to get off. Or should I say fall? The road by the stop where I get off is very steeply sloped on the sides. Most vehicles looked tipped over when they pull close to the curb. This bus was no exception and I knew it. So I was extra careful--trying to step slowly and steadily. No such luck. My foot slipped off the first step and I landed on my butt, only to slide off to land on the second step, only to bounce off that one to land on the last step, my feet hitting the ground.

I was stunned. I couldn't even laugh at myself. Nobody offered to help me up or ask me if I was okay. So I just got up....hung my head....and walked away. The sounds of laughter followed me. I'm not even kidding. Lots of laughter.

Bad things happen to me on the bus.

Always.

Freshman year, the driver couldn't see me in the mirror (I'm short) and so as soon as I stepped on, he closed the doors on me. Literally. I was pinned. I screamed. He yelled. The door was opened. Apologies were made. Lots of laughter.

Freshman and Junior years.....slipped trying to get ON the bus...fell and slid all the way off....I don't know what's more humiliating, bouncing on your butt from step to step or sliding backwards on your stomach while managing to look the driver straight in the eye....and he's laughing.....

Ma-mazing!!

Just what the title says. I'm a ma, and I'm amazing. :) Did I ever mention that I was an FHE mom? Well, I am and it's the best calling in the world. I love it. I love, love, love, love, love it! When I got called into Bro. Jensen's office a month and a half ago, I was very nervous. I was hoping for a calling where I could actually make a difference, but not have it stress me out as far as Mars and Jupiter. You know? I'm sitting there, my ears straining, and I hear "...Family Home Evening Mom..." I choked, stared at him, and then.....I started to laugh. Really hard. Poor counselor. He didn't know what to do. I said, "Are you serious?" and Bro. Jenson nodded gravely, "Yes, very." But he was smiling. He knew I was a quirky weirdo last year too. He shouldn't've been surprised.

I was sure surprised... and worried. My roommate, Erica, was our mom last year and she was basically a single mom: she did all the planning, the shopping, all of the spiritual thoughts and activities. Our dad didn't help out at all. Erica is going into interior design and her program is so rigorous and demanding that she hardly had any time to eat, let alone plan weekly activities. So the rest of us roommates usually took over. I told Bro. Jensen that I was worried, and he told me that he would allow me to pick my husband. Since I am gullible, I believed him. Later that night at ward prayer, Bro. Jensen admitted that he fibbed to me. Now I was really nervous...who the heck was I paired up with? Would he ditch me to do the job on my own? Long story short....I think I got the best husband out of all of them. Kenny was on the ball from the very start: delegating, taking charge, and helping me figure things out. All my previous worries were totally obliterated. I felt like I could do it. Plus he's hilarious. Can't get much better. Thanks honey! You're the best!

I've got the best family. There are about thirty assigned to Kenny and me, and we usually have anywhere from 15-20 show up every time. That is a fantastic turnout. They are all so funny and nice, and I adore them all. Except there are some punks that never show up, even though they tell me they will when I invite them each week. I never thought it was a big deal when I wasn't in charge, but now that I'm on the other side, it honestly hurts my feelings. But when people make the effort to come to the activities and take the time out of their busy days, well, it just makes me so happy. Those of you in singles' or student wards, support your FHE groups, it means the world to your Mas and Pas, and it just really promotes the unity within the ward. And when your ward is wonderful, the gospel is just that much sweeter. I know it is!

I love it when they call out, "Hi Mom!" Makes me laugh. My kids are great. Which is funny since they are all my age or older. I just love it. I love my husband, I love my kids, I love the fam. It's the best. I just have to gush because we just had a really good FHE tonight. I made a goof of myself as usual, but they seem to be okay with it. Just as long as Kenny doesn't get engaged over Christmas break...people tend to do that...I've never even asked if he's dating anyone...I don't want him to get married...it would suck to have to get a new partner...it'll be a good year. Haha. :D

Carrying the Banner...

No, I'm not waving a flag around. That what a color guard is for. My friend Spratt and I were newsies for Halloween. We went to the Howl. The biggest Halloween party in three states. Or so I hear. Also, it's the skankiest. And the sweatiest. And the smelliest. But I learned the Thriller dance. It was thrilling. I had so much fun though. I can't understand Spratt though. He went as a newsie, but he has never seen Newsies. He says he made a solemn vow never to watch the movie until he is married. It's so that if a girl wants to watch it with him, she'll "have" to marry him. I dunno....but methinks the logic is screwed here.

Aren't I amazing? And aren't we amazing? No worries, I know it's an awful picture. My roomie took it at a terrible angle.



My vest was amazing. It cost me 3 bucks at the D.I. I already had the hat.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I am SO fun! Haha...

Splish Splash...

I had an adventure on Friday night. Well, I suppose you could call it Saturday morning. It all depends on your way of thinking. Fall break was this week...a nice lovely, three-day weekend. I love breaks. I just can't function without them. I was talking to Mikey online and I mentioned my break (that I love) and he was like, "Break? What?!?!" He goes to BYU. And now you know why I love my school. We have breaks. Which I love. With all my heart. We may go to school a week earlier and get out a week later, but it is SO worth it to have several three-day weekends and Spring Break. I love Spring Break.

Anyway, a couple days ago, I ran into a friend on campus that I hadn't hung out with in a while. I asked him what he was doing for the break--he said he didn't know, but he would call me if he did anything fun. I kind of forgot about it for the rest of the day. Friday night, I was completely alone. Three of my roommates had gone home, one was at her grandma's, and the other was holed up in the junior interior design studio, about to pull her third all-nighter in a row. You sure you want to do interior design, Mike? It's a beast!! I was very lonely and bored and it was midnight and I was about to go to bed when I got a call.

Ryan: Hey Chess! Want to go fishing?

Me: (Checks the time--12:05 am.) Right now??

Ryan: Yeah, right now!

Me: (Thinks for a split of a split-second.) Yeah! Just let me change!

Ryan: We'll be there in a couple minutes. Wear something warm!

Me: (tearing off her PJs to put normal clothes on.)

So it was my friends, Ryan and Craig, and another girl and guy that I hadn't met before, and me, and we all crammed into Craig's little Honda Accord and headed down to the little spot by the river where we all got out to fish. We'll call it my first time fishing because the first time I went was in the sixth grade where everyone abandoned me and I managed to tie myself up with fishing line. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I'm exaggerating a little. But not much. This time wasn't too bad. I didn't actually fish. I baited Ryan's hook with the worm, but there weren't enough fishing poles, so i just watched.

Craig: Man, this would be so sweet if we had a boat. We could go all over the place!

Ryan and Phil: Dude, I know! If only we had a boat!

Ryan and Phil: Crap! I got snagged. Let's go somewhere else.

Craig, Ryan, Phil: Dude, if only we had a boat.

Me: I get it. You want a boat. But let's go somewhere else.

(Everyone packs up the car. The boys see something glimmering on the bank nearby. They go to explore.)

Craig, Ryan, Phil: DUDE!!! NO FRICKIN' WAY!!!

Me: (Runs over excitedly.) What?!?

Ashley: What did you find??

Craig, Ryan, Phil: (Gesturing wildly.) WE FOUND A BOAT!!

Me: (Sees an overturned rowboat. Jaw drops.) Shut up! That's so cool!!

(Everyone piles back into the car and tears back to Ryan and Craig's apartment, where they grab rags to stuff the small round hole in the end of the boat, and old wooded crutches to use as paddles, and climb into Craig's truck, which will be used to haul the boat back to the apartment. Craig, Phil, and Ashley in the cab, Chessie and Ryan in the back.)

Everyone: (Gazes lovingly at the boat.) Wow!

(Boat is plugged, pushed into the water, and all five people climb in, Craig and Phil manning the crutches.)

Ashley: (Manning the camera.) Click. Flash. Click. Flash. Click. Flash.

Ryan and Me: (Singing loudly.) Row, row, row your boat...Gently down the stream!!!! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily....LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMM!!!

Me: You know you're gonna name it after me, right?

Craig: Yeah, I'll name it the Chessie.

(The crutches dig into the ground, prodding the boat to the bank, where we all get out, turn the boat over, and load it into the truck-bed. Five people sit in the cab. Actually, four people sit on the seat. Chessie sits on Ryan.)

Me, Ryan, Craig, Phil, and Ashley: (Every five minutes.) I canNOT beLIEVE we found a BOAT!!!

(Everyone runs into Craig and Ryan's apartment to jump on their sleeping roommate, Clay.)

Ryan and Craig: Dude, wake up! You gotta come see this!!!

Clay: (Rubs eyes sleepily.) Wha-at?

Ryan: Dude, it's like Christmas out there!!

Me and Ashley: (Laughing hysterically.)

(Everyone runs outside again. Clay's mouth is agape at the sight of the boat in Craig's truck.)

Clay: What the crap is that?!?!

Ryan, Craig, and Phil: We found a BOAT!!

Clay: That is so white trash. That is the coolest thing I have ever SEEN!

(High-fives all around. Everyone goes home. Chessie goes to sleep at four in the morning and wakes up with a horrible cold. But the runny nose, clogged sinuses, and cough are SO totally WORTH IT!!!)

Yup.

True story.

Nessie Nessie Bo Bessie....

Notice my nice new background? It's the closest I could get to some Scottish tartan. I'm going to Scotland. Did you know that? Kelli and I have been planning this bloody trip since Sigafus's eighth grade German class. Although I don't expect to ever live in a castle with a trampoline room and a sno-cone machine (I've grown up a little since then), I am darn well going to visit one....minus the trampoline room and the sno-cone machine. And have a fling with a Scottish hottie. And see Nessie. And try haggis. I'm scared but I'll do it just to say I have. It can't be worse than octopus and shark...right?? What is in haggis anyway? I'll have to look it up. I'm so excited to be a dorky tourist. I can't believe we're actually going. My goal is to meet an Alec Kincaid. Or an Ian. I have no idea who these people are. They're just cool names.

I went to Chili's with Kelli the other night. Yum. It's the second time I've ever gone. And after dinner I bought shoes for five dollars. They kill. But they are SO cute!

A box elder bug got in my hair today. I felt it hit my head with a little plop! I spazzed...again...and was clawing at my head trying to get it out and in the process I flung it against the wall...the bug...not my head. Just in case you were wondering. My head is intact. The bug, sadly--NOT!!--is not. I looked behind me to see it splattered against the wall. Talk about ewwww.... Why me? Why is it always me?

I played racquetball with a friend last night. I haven't played since 10th grade P.E. I can't even remember the P.E. teacher's name. He was bald. Gosh, what is his name?!?! I can remember who was in my class though. I played racquetball with Olivia, Angela, and Cathy. I remember us singing Josh Groban and Hilary Duff at the top of our lungs in the echoey-echoey court. Really classy. Hah.

Blurble...

I'm a bargain shopper. I love good deals on clothes, shoes, marshmallow popcorn, scotch tape, gum. The cheaper, the better. I feel compelled to buy anything that's under 5 bucks. Even if I don't like the thing that much. It's like something invisible grabs my fingers and I'm dragged over to the clearance racks against my will. Except it's not against my will. And then all of the little bargains call out to me...."Buy me!"...."I'm cheap!"...."You know you're going to buy me even though you're a dirt-poor college student with no money!"... I even got my iPod for free. Rebates are great. Everyone should take advantage of rebates.

Speaking of my iPod. It makes me hear things. Literally. Not just the music. I always have the earbuds in when I walk to work. I swear that whenever I have 'em in my ears, I always think that there is someone walking right behind me, crunching the leaves under his feet. I get so creeped out by the sound that I jump and turn around, but there's no one there. Then I realize that I am only hearing my own feet, but when my earphones are in, the sounds seem like they're behind me. It's like my feet are little ventriloquists throwing their sounds around to scare me. It's so awful! And then thinking about ventriloquists makes me think about ventriloquist dummies, which make me think about the Goosebumps book about the evil ventriloquist dummy that comes to life and haunts people. So sick. It gave me nightmares when I was little.

Other things that scare me are box elder bugs. I hate them. I hate them so much. I shudder when I see them and they invade the building where I have all my classes. It's sooooo disgusting. I was doing a Sudoku puzzle in the computer lab by the window during a break between classes and I fell asleep. I woke up to this eerie tickle on my neck, only to find a box elder bug crawling across my face. I jerked straight up, squeaked like I was on helium, dropped all my papers and books, threw my pen across the room, and flailed around trying to get it off me. I'm sure I looked charming.

I dozed off on my hand during Medieval Lit today. All of a sudden, I heard my teacher's voice, "Uh-oh, Chessie!" I woke up to find a stack of papers on my desk that I was supposed to pass on. Everyone around me laughed, which was embarrassing. But that doesn't compare to the humiliation of having my teacher catching me in the middle of an illegal nap. Gah!

Just once in my life, I would like a day where I don't do or say something stupid. A day where I don't trip. Or spill on myself. Or sneeze really ugly. Or breathe wrong so I cough so hard I'm practically convulsing. Or get the hiccups everytime I brush my teeth. Not pretty. Toothpaste everywhere.

I'm pathetic.

Phlebt...

I am a dork. There are many reasons for this, but I'd rather not discuss them here. I mean, what else is the point of a blog but to unload all of your unreasonable cares, but I would really just rather not. You can ask me about the latest reason if you'd like, and I'd be happy to tell you. Just not on here. Haha, it's nothing bad.....just slightly embarrassing. It's just dorky, that's all.

Anyway, this is me writing from my fancy new MacBook. Do I love it? Yes, I do. It's quite possibly the snazziest item I have ever owned, other than my really amazing pair of black heels. Oh, and the free iPod Nano that came with it ain't too bad either. I'm a fan.

Well, folks, I am back in Logan about to start the third week of school. Back in the same apartment as last year, with the same five roommates. Life is brilliant! Except for the part where I go to school at 7:30 in the morning, Monday through Thursday. The good part about is that I am done with classes every single day by 12:30. Tomorrow I have a job interview for the after-school mentoring program at the nearby elementary/jr. high schools. Since the hours for that job only go until about 5, I will have all of my nights and weekends free. How perfect is that? I'm pretty excited.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday:

7:30 am - Pilates (uh, quite possibly the most grueling workout of my entire life! I cannot even begin to describe the pain that my abs, arms, and inner thighs have suffered!)

8:30 am - Grammar (I enjoy it greatly! No really...I do...I'm not kidding!)

9:30 am - British Literary History II (I had Dr. McCuskey in the spring--the man is a genius, and soooo funny! Definitely my favorite class!)

11:30 am - Medieval Literature (Friday we read loads of medieval literatures--those monks had dirty minds!)

Tuesday/Thursday:

7:30 am - Food/Technology/Health (if I'm not mistaken, this is my last general...hallelujah! By the way, I hate it.)

10:30 am - Studies in Poetry (I am going to die here. That's all. I can't understand anything in class, let alone outside of it.)

So yeah, homework is not too bad right now, but it will soon become miserable. It's just one of those things that is a given in life. I can only hope that every now and then something exciting will happen that will lighten the dreariness. I'm also prematurely sad because one of my roommates will be taken from me next summer. Erica will be getting married. To her childhood friend who just got back from a mission. I can't believe she is ruining our roommate streak. What other group of six girls has stuck together as long as we have??? But I'm still happy for her....but so, so, so, so sorry for myself. I need to get over it. Stupid boys. 

And on that note...we'll just leave it here. I'm very boring right now and have absolutely nothing else to say.

Dying...

I am dying. Dying of heat, poverty, and the lack of human contact. 

Actually, none of the above. It just feels like it sometimes. It's hot even with air conditioning, because I've got to watch the kids nearly everyday outside by their pool. Housing pre-payments drained my bank account. To top it all off, since I'm watching the kids everyday, I have no opportunities to meet new people, or go to my ward activities, or anything like that. I'll be glad when the kids' parents get back from China. I'll have my nights back to myself.

So. Funny story. I was at my friend Jessika's house on Saturday night. We were designing t-shirts we are going to make for the Breaking Dawn book party. But that's not the funny story. 

My brother came to pick me up around 11:30 and he and his friend convinced me to go to a dollar movie with them. We went to the Cinemark Movies 8 and they let me choose the movie. I am a fan of all things Scotland (where I am going with Kelli next summer...so help me!) so I chose to go to Made of Honor (liked it, but didn't love it).  There was time to kill before the movie, so we went to go get Wendy's. Back at the theater, I had to go to the restroom so I sent the guys to go find seats. 

I was kind of distracted for some reason and when I got to the restroom I couldn't understand why it smelled so unusually foul. I shrugged it off and headed to the stalls which seemed farther away than usual. Also, it was odd that there were urinals in the women's room.  All of sudden, understanding dawned on and horror overcame me. I was in the men's restroom!!! I spun around and bolted out of there, crashing into the women's room as fast as I could. I was humiliated because anybody at the concessions' stand would have been in full view of my awful mistake. Fortunately, there hadn't been any men in the restroom, even though that would've made a better story. Still.... sooooo embarrassing!

I think I'm kind of ready for school to start. I'm exhausted. School will be so much less stressful. Hahaha!

Sunny California

Me and Molly (we have matching hair!)

Coming to y'all from a random beach house in the Pajaro Dunes somewhere in California. I forget. It's so beautiful! And warm! And sunny! And full of little sand crabs that like to bite your feet. And really weird seaweed. Really ugly too. Basically, this is my life: wake up early, go on a walk with whomever is awake, collect seashells and sand dollars, come home, cook breakfast, go play on the beach, make lunch, play on the beach, make dinner... play... build amazing sand castles...eat some more.... play. Go to sleep. I'm so brown already. I'll look like an old log by the time I get back.

I went to church here. It's a lot different than going to someone else's ward in Utah. The people were incredibly warm and friendly. There was this guy that sat with me in Sunday School. He told me to ignore the fact that he forgot a belt and socks. He was on vacation too. It was pretty funny. 

So it turns out that the family I'm working for also has a wedding to go to, so I'll probably be hanging out with them an extra week and going to Disneyland. Poor me. I have such a hard, difficult life. Hahahaha! I'm excited.

Bleargh...

Just so all of you know, I am fully prepared to save your life should you become unconscious and your heart stops. Also, if you happen to slice yourself open. I have two little paper cards that say so. That should be good enough for the likes of you. I spent my entire day learning. My boss paid for me to take the CPR / First Aid / AED certification course down at the Red Cross today. She doesn't want her kids dying in the pool on my watch. I don't blame her. I don't want them dying on my watch either. That would not look good and it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I was about to lose consciousness too. It was ten of the most boring hours of my life. Believe me when I say I have had plenty of those. The instructor was insanely boring, scatterbrained, and inefficient. We could have easily finished everything in six or seven hours. And there was this one 40-year-old man who WOULD NOT SHUT UP!! You know the type that thinks he knows everything, comments on everything, and thinks all of his jokes are just hilarious? So, he's all of the above, and just won't stop? Yeah, that was him. Pretty much, I was ready to commit murder. I was ready and willing to take him down. All six feet and 300 pounds of him. I could've done it! I could!

And if that wasn't long enough, right afterwards was my second cousin's wedding reception. She's just a year older than I am, so I sort of felt obligated to go. I was chowing down on the butter mints, fruity slush (yummy), and chocolate-covered strawberries (delectable!), when one of my dad's cousin's came over to say hi. She threw her arm around my shoulder, squeezed me, and cried out, "This can't be Chessie!" I looked at her skeptically and said I sure could be. Then she said, "It can't be! What are you, 20?" Um, yeah. "Well, you look 14! That'll be a good thing when you're ten years older." Great. Just great. I look like an adolescent. And I was hoping people would take me seriously by now.

Well, I'm old enough to save your life. Apparently not old enough to drive. Crap.

Miss Jack-of-all-Trades

I found a job...sort of. I guess my mom found it for me. I am working for her friend, Adriana. I'm tutoring her 13 year old son, Sam (he is obsessed with paintball), and doing housework. Once the kids are out of school for the summer, I'll be helping homeschool and nanny. I'll be doing crafts, reading, supervising them while they swim. I think it'll be fun.

So basically I am a nanny / teacher / laundress / tutor / cook / housekeeper / lifeguard. Cool beans. Call me SuperAsian! I think I need a cape or something equally authoritative. Maybe I can just tie my bathrobe with all the Chinese characters on it around my neck and run around the house. I'll fit right in. The three younger children are adopted from China. Very cute. Adriana and her husband are going to China this summer to adopt their fourth. This will make their ninth child. You MVHS choir buddies: remember Danny Cassani? Yeah, these are his siblings. Thank goodness the two oldest are married and gone, and the oldest two at home don't need supervision. I don't think I could stand it.

But I am excited. It will be a fun excitement-filled summer. I may be going with them to their beachhouse for a week in June. Don't get me started on how psyched I am for that. I'll get to play on the beach and get paid at the same time! What could be better than that? Pretty much nothing. She did offer to fly me to China so I could help out there, but I need money for school...not a paid trip. Oh, how I wished I could have taken her up on the offer! I hate being poor. This cursed universe has still not gotten the hint that they need to dump a pot of gold in my lap. Here's to hoping! :)

Why?

Ask me why I'm creating a blog. Go on, ask me. To answer your question: I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm insanely bored. Maybe it's because I stay up late and wake up late. I have nothing else to do with my life. And I'm bad with computers. What better way to discover just how bad I really am than to create a blog?

Tonight I went to MVHS's end-of-year choir banquet, or as dear Rosie Mathews would say, "Bahnn-quet." I realize that I'm short, but everyone there looked tiny. How is that possible? It lasted forever and a day. And there were a gazillion awards. I swear there weren't that many two years ago. Maybe I'm just bitter because I never got one. I never got a plastic note superglued to a plastic platform. And I contributed. I served. I was faithful. Just ask my best friend. One time, before a festival, I wrote in the measure numbers in the sheet music for an adjudicator. If that doesn't deserve a plaque, I really don't know what does. And after all the reminiscing of past grievances, Mrs. Mathews didn't recognize me. Until like 5 minutes after we said hello. Well...I guess I did have really long hair the last time she saw me. And glasses. And I probably wore no makeup.

Let's be honest. I went for the food. Mmmmm...Cafe Rio. Bless your heart.