I'll be on stage in less then 10hrs time now... feeling abit nervous but it will be juz a short 5mins on stage... anyway, clarients of ssw... u r the best... dont fear the stage or the crowd... i look forward 2 performing ensembles with the same group again...

Here are the pictures of the birthday presents in order on whichever i recieves 1st...

Desmond...

Damn... this year is gonna b interesting... 2day i juz recieved my third birthday present... damn interesting... mayb b not tt interesting but the idea was cool...

During MTL lessons 2day, i recieved a msg...

Damn... i am now worrying abt my wallet... i believe tt there is a big hole somewhere... 2day i juz spent $42.20 on Valentine's Day gifts 4 my friends... it pains me greatly 2 noe the large amount i had spent... donno why the hell i suddenly feel like buying gifts... i really hope those who r recieveing r happy abt it... i really got a low budget... i spent almost half of my pocket money already... now i am planning 2 eat the school field's grass every recess... till the day i get my next pocket money, i will try 2 spent lesser...

I will be opening my CNY hong bao soon... hopefully i get a profit 4 this month... the Valentine's Day gifts r really a killer... must be at least $20 more than i had spent 2day...

When i went home, my bro realised tt there were no keys at home... i could not enter the house n had 2 wait outside... but time is money... i dont hav the time 2 wait... so i decided 2 climb in through the window... my bro got the keys 2 the window grill n i climbed into the house...
damn... tt was cool but not trilling... at 1st i wanted 2 climb over the fence at my backyard... tt would be more trilling n fun as i will hav 2 climb greater heights n risk falling into the huge drain behind... shortly after i entered the house, my paents reached home... then they realised tt they had taken all the keys by accident... damn sad lah... i could have so much fun if my bro did not find the window grills keys as well... i onli i could climb again...

Damn... why does this always happen... cant i not tink of a gal 4 i few weeeks n focus on wad i am doing... damn... i hav been caught by love unexpectedly again... i juz cant run from it... it is in me... in my blood n flesh... i donno why... i juz gave up something n not long after another comes... it is juz so difficult... tt gal whose name-must-not-be-mentioned-online is juz so unlucky... why am i walking my old roads again? love is a mystery... more is yet 2 understand n there is still much unlearned... n why is all this happening 2 a stupid n useless guy like me? isn't it a waste... others need this feelings more then i do... look at tt unless wei seng... always love sick... he really damn sad lah... why cant any1 give him a chance... or is he not giving himself a chance... tt is another mystery yet 2 understand...

Anyway, on second thoughts, is this feeling i am getting a form of a present? i donno... but i really dont wan any living thing which is abt half the size of an apple... the thought of it really scares me... juz cant imagine wad weird presents i am getting this year... wadever u give me, no cold hard cash n no living things... i cant keep pets... they all juz die in my hands... i tink it is really unfair 2 those animals i had kept so far... i hav guilt(but most of the times fun) everytime something dies in my hands... now i am called 'cold-blooded'... i noe killing can be fun at times but when i am handed a responsibility 2 keep pets, it is not fun... they r time consuming n i really dont hav the time 4 them... especially this year... i am having my 'O' Levels soon n i am not going 2 bring a living thing tt is half the size of an apple into the exam hall... i will end up killing tt innocent creature or wadever it is... other's sufferings r my happiness... plz dont force me into it...

Damn... i onli hav 3 days 2 practise on the bass clarinet... gotta practise it 2 perfection 4 my section... they requested me 2 play the bass clarinet 4 the ensemble... now tt i had gotten the bass clarinet, i cannot let those gals down... i onli hav 3 days of practise n the 1st had juz gone by... i still need 2 reach the required notes 4 the piece... juz a few more then i will work on my breath then the piece... gotta 2 more days of practise... hope i can speed time up... really need the practise... i am not gonna let u gals down... u gals had done wad u need 2 do already... now it is all up 2 me... plz push me somebody... i really need the pressure 2 meet my standards more quickly... u gals had worked 2 hard on monday already... i am not gonna let u gals down... failure is not an option now... succession is the onli route i hav in my choice... prepare 2 recieve a new me...

Anyway i was really excited abt the bass clarinet tt i woke up at 3am tinking abt practising the bass clarinet n some other stuff tt u should not noe... i thought abt those few stuff n could not sleep 4 2hrs... i onli got my sleep at abt 5am... when i went 4 sch, i count the time i had away from the chance i can get my hands on the bass clarinet... the waiting was long but the end product was sweet... lolx... i really had fun 2day with the bass clarinet, also known as my mistress 4 now... lolx... coz i got 4 wives... Yong Jie, Jun Xiang, Eileen n my beloved Baby Clarinet... luv u guys so much, but sorri 4 keeping a mistress... juz give me one n a half more weeks... then i will hav 2 leave her n then i'll be back with u guys... lolx...

On the other hand, Humanities lesson was fun 2day... as usual, yong jie n i did lots of stupid stuff again... everytime the teacher asked us if we understand wad she had said so far, we would pull a stupid smile n give her a 'thumbs-up' while nodding our heads... we looked like an idiotic pair... lolx... then we did many other stupid stuff n i became YJ's shield... everytime the teacher noticed us not paying attention, she would shower me with foerign questions(i was not listening) abt the topic... then i replied her with stupid answers... lolx... damn funny... i really look forward 2 the next lesson...

I am deciding 2 take a step back in my 1-sided love story... i strongly believe it is 4 the better 4 the both of us... at least she can focus on getting well on being with who she really like... n our friendship had been affected... if this keeps up, i will die... laughter is my blood... not many ppl appreciate my lame, stupid, idiotic jokes like her... if i dont hear laughter, i dont feel good... my purpose on earth is 2 make ppl around happy... i really dont wanna see any frowns... i feel real bad if i cant make a person laugh... i dont wanna spoil our friendship... i dont wanna break up our gang... every1 is important 2 me... i can live with out my friends... i wont be who i am 2day if it wasnt 4 my friends... u guys motivated me 2 live on... u guys helped me past my time happily... u guy laugh at me 4 being stupid n i like it alot... i really miss the old times we had playing tai di everyday after sch... we use 2 hang out everywhere after band practise on sat... i really miss those time... now i wan nothing but our friendship... i wan u 2 get well... i wan every1 2 be reunited... i dont care abt the past anymore... can we all juz be friends again? onli friends, nothing more...

I really feel tt the ppl around me r drifting away... damn i really cant live without u guys.... u guys r my flesh n blood... life is meaningless if u live it alone... i really hope tt 1 day every1 can get 2gather again... go out 4 dinner... crack stupid jokes n laugh at each other the whole day... share each other's problems... talk abt anything under the sun... play pool or bowling 2gather... n do anything tt requires time... i really wish every1 will b happy... no conflicts, no hatred, no tear, no pain... onli laughter, happiness, joy... i really feel bad 4 all i had done 2 this flawless friendship... sometimes i really feel lonely even when every1 is around... the bond is loose... i blame it on myself 4 the damage i had done... i'll take full respondsibility... now i juz wan every1 2 come back 2gather, ignoring the past...

Friendship is the most important thing in my life... i even hesitated 2 decide wheather i wanna go JC or Poly bcoz of u guys... u guys r a great influence, great inspiration in my life... u guy r juz 1 thing i bare 2 let go of... my greatest fear is losing ppl around me... the thought of losing u guys makes me feel weak all over... with u guys around, i always believe tt there will always be somebody pick me up eveytime i fall in life... now tt u guys r further from me, i fear tt nobody will help me up when i fall again... i reaaly need u guys...

Damn tired... life is juz so difficult... so much things 2 do yet so little time... last nite sleep at abt 1am... this morning woke up at 8am... so damn tired lor... but no choice...

Then i am a Committee Member n Principle Player in 2 bands... lolx... damn funny... when the PRO(ssw)/Secretary(ycksb) msg me... i had difficulty knowing which band is it related 2... lolx... i got so confuse juz reading a msg... i thought it is ssw stuff... then i see some 'record books deadlines'... i was wondering wad record books does ssw hav n how am i related... lolx... after a 5min thought, i remembered tt the PRO is a secretary in ycksb... lolx... damn funny...

Then the PP(Principle Player) thing was juz an accident, 1 tink... lolx... i became PP bcoz of a solo i played... damn funny... tt time me n eileen thought tt we r playing tt piece with SWO, she say let the pro play the solo... but i was tinking at least some1 play 4 now... so at the last minute i picked up my clarinet 2 play the solo... later we learnt tt we r not playing tt piece with SWO... then i became the player 4 tt solo... then bcoz of tt solo, i became a PP... lolx... damn funny... lucky tt band dont need 2 do SL Report... if not i die already... but i am lucky 2 hav 2 other PPs... Eileen n Goldie... all the big ppl... lolx... at least i hav some1 to guide me abt doing my job as a PP there...

Today Eileen not feeling well... i took sectionals again n i finally understand the pain of taking sectionals... gotta make lots of decicions, answer 4 the section... take charge of things happening... multi-task... damn difficult... n conducting is very the not fun... gotta listen 2 the section, keep in tempo, make sure the sec 1s r practising, look out 4 mistakes... the worst part is tt i gotta write sectionals report after all the pain... i finally understand the pain n pressure tt eileen had expirenced... i feel bad... last time always let her do everything... now i wanna share the burden... she is having a long-term MC... dont wan her 2 stress anymore... i am really sorry abt the past...

Then i got this big problem where i can keep a constant tempo without snaping my fingers... i snap until damn pain... my middle finger is in pain... there goes my finger of pride... cannot point anymore... so sad... now i will not anyhow point tt finger anymore... must save it 4 future sectionals... lolx... dont worry... i not pointing it at my section... all so innocent, decent, young, pure n pretty gals... cannot corrupt them... i am the section man... lolx... must behave myself... lolx...

N a BIG SORRY 4 giving the section onli a 10min break throughout the 2hrs of practise... but i feel good man... long time never had a nice practise 2gather... since the SYF, sectionals is so different... anyway i had fun 2day despite the sore finger... lolx...


And a special msg to the sec 1s... dont toy my limits... wad kind of nonsense telling me tt practising holding note is boring... slap ur bloody face lah... if u cant play holding note then wad other fun things u wan 2 do... then tt marcus huh... very irritating... got alot of excuss... 1 fine day i bring u 4 a jog then u noe... then always spinning the clarinet... u tink wad? the band is a circus isit?! wad did we teach u? spin clarinet? slap ur damn bloody face lah... if u dare drop it while spinning the clarinet, i'll personally slap ur damn bloody balls with my bare hands... i'll make sure u scream 4 ur mum... then u slowly pay the price... u tink u onli guy in the sec 1 very pround huh? dare 2 call urself a guy... entertaining others in the expense of others... got so much complain abt practising... y dont u not practise... very man isit? gals r not 2 b toyed with... wait till u see ur other senior blow... she controlling very hard 2day already... i give her the green light already... better behave or u will suffer the concequences... i noe u guys r scared of her already... but tt is juz 2 soon... the worst is yet 2 be seen... n i never blow in front of my section b4... dont make this the 1st... u wont like me when i am angry... i leaving already lah... dont set a bad image of urself... when u make me dislike u then when i step down, i'll come back n slap u daily... everything is in black n white in the SL Report Book already... got text edvidence already...u gotta help urself if u wanna improve... dont always say practise is very boring... i grew up this way also... i practise ONLI GMS 2hrs a day for 2 weeks i got complain a not... slap tt bloody face...

Anyway wadever it is, i really had fun... except the sore finger part... lolx...

Damn... 'O' Levels is juz round the corner...a bit worried abt it... MTL Paper is on 29th of May... Hope i would b prepared by then...

I wish there is more than 24 hours a day... So much things 2 do yet so little time... Band, studies, homework, entertainment n last but not least, friends... i really wanna spend more time with u guys... u ppl r the ones who made my life bright... having fun with u guy is never enough 4 me...

Now i gotta help eileen with her studies... made a promise sometime ago... not a very good teacher i am but i will still try my best... i am not very good at my studies myself... i am worried i might teach the wrong things n ruin her life... she had gone through more than me... i dont wan her 2 repeat her past... i got 2 brush up on my subjects... really dont wanna teach wrongly... every1 must grauate 2gather... no 1 must be left behind...

Chinese lessons r so boring... the guy sitting with me is so dry... i will dehydrate juz by sitting beside him... the band gang is all sitted behind me... their laughter makes jealous... i wanna laugh... not sit there n stare at my textbook n be entertained by gays... i really cant concentrate there... i feel sleepy everytime i sit there 4 short period of time... i am sick of those ppl... i noe they r nice in 1 way or another but i juz cant communicate there... they dont speak my language... mayb they do bcoz all of us r chinese failures but i juz can live there...

I worry alot 4 my POA coz i study without understanding... sometimes i tink i will fail but tt is 1 of my most well done subjects... i juz cant do without understanding... i can juz keep on making up my own theories on the topic n pass the tests... i feel guilty... but i juz cant understand wad the teacher is teaching... all i noe is tt i hav 2 count money... then got all the funny formats... juz look at them n make my own theories again... how can i teach with this attitude... i hope a solution will come soon...juz gotta pray 4 the better...

I donno how the hell i am so easy going with science... they r a piece of cake... 1 lesson n i noe almost everything... i dont even need 2 refer 2 any notes n can get good marks off hand... wad the hell is wrong with me... am i special or am i different? i really wish others hav this talent or wadever u call tt... look at wei seng... tt guy is a failure in life... i wanna help him but i donno how... i believe he admires my intellegence but he is still a failure... he is no longer the old wei seng i use 2 noe... ppl change... am i changing 2? y does this onli happen 2 my sciences... my POA has 0% understanding... wad is wrong with me... n everytime i put in effort 2 study, i end up failling... the harder i study, the worst my results become...tis even happens 2 my sciences... y does this happen 2 me... i noe no body is perfect but why is my other giving me so much problems...

Wadever it is, i believe everything will come 2 an end, all questions will hav a answer, all problems will have a solution... i juz wish they come quickly... anyway i gonna sleeep soon... good nitez...

The game of love 1 which is hard 2 master but the fruit of labour is indescribeable, but addiction to this game is fatal... till now, i had yet 2 taste the unknown fruit... till the day comes, i shall hav 2 do something abt my situation... it is almost a dead knot... but i am willing 2 untie it...no matter the amount of time needed... if i were 2 get my hands tangled in tt knot, i will onli hav myself 2 help...

mayb i am juz blinded by love... i tink i am juz stupidly addicted... but love itself does miracles... i had gave up many bad habits bcoz of love... it is difficult at 1st... but it is also all 4 a better future...

i really donno when will i hav the courage 4 confession... everytime the feeling comes, i hide myself... damn, such a coward i am... i really donno wad 2 do... i am lost... no map will help me... no1 will help me... i really wish i can walk this road alone 4 now... it will b tough but i will make it...

Valentine's Day is coming soon... i will onli celerbrate my birthday on tt day... i wish i can celerbrate Valentine's Day with some1 special... i really wish i can spend tt day with u(not u readers)...if onli i had the courage... dream is all i can do now...wish me luck...