My bro just send me quite a number of pictures...

Somebody help... this time is not about the studies... i just went for a jog sometime ago... it was terrible... i meerly jogged a few hundred metres and i was left panting... i bear started... at first i wanted to jog 5 rounds... but i gave up the dream the moment i knew that i did not have the stamina... in the end i only run 3 rounds... but this rounds are not to be looked down on... each rounds are nearing 1 kilometre... walking home everyday is already 800 metres... that is one-third of my NAFA Test distance... thats why i am so healthy... haha... kidding only... but i really can't believe that i am so weak... maybe the reason is because i had not been running for MONTHS! haiz... anyway, it is not too late to start... just like me carrying weights in Secondary 3... now i'll be jogging weekly... to mantain a healthy lifestyle... so don't be suprised if a fall asleep in class... although i had not done that for months... just wake me if you see me sleeping...

Anyway, i have another miracle to share... i finished 5 physics past year papers in 2 days... miracle huh... i did my work everytime i am free... something that not everyone can do huh... and something you don't see me doing often... haha... but putting the happiness aside, my 'O' Levels MTL Oral is starting TOMORROW! and we were only informed TODAY! it was a cultural shock when i heard the news... i was not prepared... i need to change myself to 'CHINESE SAM' before any chinese oral... and to do so, i need TIME! haiz... the adults say we are irresponsible... we should tell them what school is teaching us... we mimic and learn... that is how every single one of us started walking... now we are just mimicking whatever we see in school... maybe the school should hold lesser 'Meet The Parent Sessions' and hold more 'Ask The Teachers What They Are Teaching Sessions' or should the students send their teachers to the RESPONSIBLE Thinking Centre? ask the teachers to reflect what had they done wrong... maybe the principal should try that too... at least they should know how we feel when we were asked to reflect on somethings we may not have done wrong and was forced to write crap and punish ourselves...
Haiz... to conclude this shit, the world is very unfair... especially the part between we teens and adults... they expect so much from us but what had they done that they have the rights to push us to our limits... it is a matter of time that we just become better then them in everything... we are forced to study... by who you'll ask... by the government of course... by the adults... by the seniors... haiz... i am lost in words already... whatever it is... i don't want to care so much...

HELP!!!! i have to do about 14 past year papers in 2 days... all the holiday homework was untouched... wah... i am gonna die soon... i just received another 7 more past year papers today... and sectionals today was kind of shocking... i don't know if i had bad english or my section had a poor understanding of english... it is just so difficult to pass a simple message across the section... as far as i am concern, i'll not be touching the com for quite some time now... wish me luck...

Life was good during the chalet... i learnt many things during the short period of time... the day started a bit dry as i travelled around AMK in search of BBQ things we were assigned to look for... after the buying of things, a long bus ride we had and my little learning journey begins... as the evening draws near, dinner was being prepared... Mr Ng arrived with a bottle of wine and so did my life experience... i had dinner with accompliment of wine... that was the beginning... i was OK then, only slightly different from my usual self... i went to watch my friends play 'Heart Attack' after dinner... while watching, i received a call from a junior asking me about stuff for the next day's BBQ... he irritated me on the phone and i just cut the line... after that, i started talking alot about what i think about that junior in front of my friends... and the worst part is that every phrase i said had no link to the next... that was the first time someone told me, 'I think you are drunk'... i was still in control then... later in the evening, Mr Ng came back with a bottle of Absolute Voka and i few bottles of 7-UP and Sprite... Mr Ng gave us the drinks with the voka amount coming in pegs(one cap full)... i started with two pegs of voka mixed in Sprite... the voka taste was faint... and for some funny reason, i was rushing to drink... and everytime before i could finish a cup of Sprite with voka, Mr Ng would refill my cup by starting with two pegs of voka the pouring the drink in... the concentration grew heavier with every cup... soon i found that i had finished 6 cups of mixtures... by then my face was really red and my heartbeat was speeding... my ears grew steaming hot and i could not sit still... a slight tilt towards the left or right would send me off balance... walking to the toilet was the hardest task i ever did that night... as i finished my 6th cup of mixture, the bottle of voka was emptied... we then had beer mixed with 7-UP... i still remembered clearly that that was my last cup of the night... after that cup, i was on my way to self-torture... i had a difficult time till the next morning... i slowly loose my sense of balance... then my head started spinning... i had a very bad feeling in my stomach... i felt uncomfortable all over... i knew that i was about to KO and i wanted the feeling to stop quickly... then some people(sorry i can't remember who) wanted to shower me... if i am not wrong, it was Yong Jie, Norain and Tian Zhe... they dragged me to the toilet and left me on the toilet bowl... they then used the shower to spray me... i was shivering like shit... although i felt much better, the terrible feeling in me refuse to go... in the end Tian Zhe suggested that i vomit everything out... i was very reluctant to do so as i was very afraid of vomitting... i don't know why but i had been like that since young... Norain and Tian Zhe brought me down with my head facing the toilet bowl... the kept on petting and rubbing my back, at the same time trying to convince me to vomit... many people(i can't remember who) came and volunteered their finger but i rejected them all... soon the rubbing and petting on my back arroused the feeling to vomit... by the time i had decided to accpet my fate, everything i had ate and drank was pouring out of my mouth... damn lot... oh i just remembered, before i vomitted, Mr Kok pass me a bag of lemon tea Mr Ng had bought for me... back to story, after vomitting for about half-an-hour(base on what many said), i felt much better... i was then carried to the girls room to sleep... i still remember that on the way to the room, i could not evern stand by myself... Norain and somebody(i can't remember again) supported me to the room... Jun Xiang was in the room taking care of me while i was fighting the feeling of vomitting the second round... i know alot of people was stepping on my toes when i was lying down... soon i could not control any longer and headed for round two in the toilet... feeling damn bad... but much much better after vomitting... i was brought back to the bed when i was done in the toilet... there, Jun Xiang and Songlin nursed me back to my current condition... i was wrapped in about 6 blankets and was shivering in them... i soon fell asleep for sometime and was woken up again... Shi En claimed that she had helped me cover the blankets when i kicked them off... i felt a little uncomfortable and i had a splitting headache... damn bad... i tried to sleep a little longer but failed multiple times... i then learn the reason, i had vomitted everything in me and was very hungry... i sat up and Hong Ki offered me a cheese bread...when i was done eating, i went out of the room for a little fresh air... that was when i join Jun Xiang, Shi En and Yong Jie for a game of 'Big 2'... while playing, they kept on claiming that i was drunk... soon after i went back to bed for a nap till the next morning...

Day Two started off like every other day... i meeting in the morning without breadfast... okok... that was not very important... the day was a slow one until the BBQ when a junior started asking corny questions... questions such as 'Do you have six pack?' and 'Are you wearing a tight fit shirt today?' was posted to me... i did not know how to reply and Shi En helped me reply one while the other was ignored... the BBQ started off well for the cooks and i stared the whole thing with a lousy introduction... 'Welcome to YCKSB's Anniversary Celebration Chalet. As you know that we had spent less than four month practising for the recent concert on the 8th of April and the concert was very successful, we decided to reward you...'
I was doing the fire the whole evening as i wasn't a very good cook... after the whole event, i played UNO with Hong Ki and gang... the whole group was cheating to trash me in the game and i lost 5 consecutive times... haiz... night passed slowly as we played UNO and talked the whole night...

Haiz... every since my bro came back, i don't feel so lucky... i had to wake up at 4.30am this morning to fetch him... The day before i performed in a concert... i was damn tired and slept only at about 1am... then i had to cancel my sectionals because the instruments are still under repair until coming tuesday... the first thing i said to my bro after 3 months was, 'Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth 2?' and i received an interesting reply, 'Download is free.' what the hell... i don't want to wait anymore... i will go and buy the original... haiz... what a bad start...

Dammit... how i wish i can be at two places at once... i have to conduct a sectionals on monday at 10am and at the same time attend a meeting at AMK Mac at 10am... haiz... i am always the busiest when under stress... same situation when i was a QM... my section wants to practise an ensemble and at the same time the whole world seems to want to own a bottle of oil or a reed... you know girls, they can never wait... haiz... that was the past... but now the same situation is occuring in a different event... now i have to plan something to be done while i am not around for the first few hours of sectionals... lucky yishan is around on that day... at least there is someone to supervise the section... then because to this event, i might be skipping a chalet held on the 18th this month... i got to practise conducting and study the score... haiz... life of a retireed SL...

Ahh... i am very evil... i did many evil in less than 10 hours... i broke 2 reeds today... i have guilt... damn lah... i don't know how the hell did i take care of my reeds... i broke 1 in the morning while binding my reed to the mouthpiece... i wanted to tighten the lace so i gave the longer end a hard tug... little did i know that my thumb was not on the other end of the lace... i pulled so hard that the lace just whipped of the mouthpiece and the reed was sent flying skywards... a few seconds later, i heard a light click some distance towards my left... to my surprise, the reed had landed 4 chairs away from where i was sitting... when i went over to pick it up, the corner had chipped... my heart was broken... this was a hard one to season... and i had spent many weeks to get back the tone i longed for... with the broken reed, i decided to move on... i went to draw another reed from the current QM... they need practise... this most recent reed was a nice one, i was perfect... took me a very short while to season... i was happy with it... to be honest, i was very happy with it... but the happiness did not last more than 6 hours... when i was packing my instrument after practise, i accidentally hit my reed against the mouthpiece cover... there was a chip in the middle of the reed!!! what a painful experience... but when i used the reed, i felt fine... only when i am hitting the higher notes then i would sound blunt... and i don't like it... lucky yi shan volunteered her reed which she had use for less than half an hour before... i accepted it half heartedly but what other options do i have left... haiz...

I have decided to look forward... saturday i will be performing in a concert... sunday i will be going to a chalet at night... monday sectionals intensive... Mr Ng shared his dissappointment with me with a pat on my shoulder... i totally understand his thinking... so i decided to take charge of a sectional... 10am to 5pm... all 3rd and 4th clarinets players who are participating in the SYF must come... i'll be doing nothing but the choice piece on that day... SYF kick-start... maybe it is a bit too late for it to be a 'kick-start'... but whatever it is, the gold medel must be achieved at any cost... i will make sure they can at least play the first 190 bars of the piece nicely... got to start studying the piece and plan for the practise... i must bring the section back to where i left it sometime ago... i will be prepared to spit fire on that day... hopefully this will be the first and the last time i scold the section... wish me luck...

Haha... i am making big profits... i earned 13K in a click... i am so happy... playing stocks is not so bad after all... i can sit back and watch as money just fall helplessly into my hands... i am gonna be rich... but just for an additional infomation, i am not opening a bank here... i am not lending any money unless any special previllages that i had grunted you... haha... don't worry that i will 'burn my hand' or become bankcrupt in this massive investment... this investment is only a game... a well known game...

One fine friday night, my family was watching 'Da Chang Ching' together... i wasn't really interested as there were no pretty girls to look at in the show... anyway, i just watched it to pass time... out of the blue, my dad asked me to watch the World Cup openings with him... well, i was not interested at all... i don't find it interesting to watch 12 men running after a ball for 90mins... so i rejected him nicely... as we watch on, my dad suddenly asked me, 'When are you bringing your girlfriend home?'... i was shocked by the question... damn i did not dare to tell him the ugly truth that i had been a single for the past 16 years... so i just tell him that i never had a girlfriend before... i told him that i only rejected twice before... but never tell him when... then my dad started crapping again...

Dad, 'Haha... you are just like me... when i was in sec 4, i rejected alot of people... thats why your mummy have a chance with me...'

Haiz... after a tough night with my parents, i finally decided to give in a little... but they still don't understand my situation... the more they pressurise me to study, the more reluctant i become... i just feel more and more demoralized... i just lose the study feel everytime they ask me to study... people use to say that our homes are the safest place... now i think that going home is just another nightmare... haiz...

Anyway... i just did up my study plans for the holidays ONLY... i have no plans for the rest of the year... i just want to study at my own pace instead of being forced to accomplish what my parents had failed to succeed in their past... I AM STUDYING FOR MYSELF IN CASE YOU DIDN'T REALISED... anyway, i realised something while doing a study plan... the number of days left for the holidays are numbered... i just don't understand why the government would want to name this 'special' occasion 'holiday' when everybody is going to spend their resting time to study... why don't the government just call it a 'study break'? why is the government or holiday planner lying to us? everyone knows that a holiday is a time for leisure... why do everybody want to spend these sacred days doing what they had been doing the whole year round... haiz... i just don't understand many things... the world is just not being fair to teenagers like us... haiz... i am very troubled now... don't bother me...

My mum had been bugging me to come up with a study plan... what the hell!? am i not studying enough? what am i going to school for? study right? study 5 hours a day, still want me to study some more... i rather not come home... it is a torture to be at home now... the memorises of the exam is huanting me like a parasite... well, everybody thinks that i had done pretty well... but honestly speaking, i think they are just bullshitting... you guys call that good? even my report book can never be safely kept at home... i don't like to be force to study... all this pressure had killed my study mood... haiz...

Dammit... i some how hate my life a little here n there... welll, after the MTL 'O' Levels Saga, i was quite relaxed... but the results were unexpected...

English-->56.2/100
MTL-->50.5
Physics-->50/100
Chemistry-->58/100
E. Maths-->61.4/100
POA-->38.5/100
Combine Humans(SS/GE)-->32/100
A. Maths-->20/100

Take a few mintues to laugh at me... ok? well, i managed to pass more than before and i was quite happy abt it... it is far much better than having just enough to be promoted to sec 4... anyway, i will be working harder so don't worry much... anyway, my family thought otherwise... they all expected me to score at least 60 to 70... WHAT THE HELL!? Who do they think i am... i am not a smart idiot like those in RI or whatever smart ass school... i am meerly a YCKSS student who lives a life like any other not-so-bright kids... haiz... anyway... much happened then... that was when i knew i had to put up an act again... well, it worked just like every other time... but this will not continue... i must put a stop to my own actions... haiz...

Anyway, studies put aside... i conducted a combine woodwinds sec 1 sections today... haiz... what can i say... don't blame me for such remarks but i really hope they will improve... the alto sax had no sense of rhythm... damn difficult to teach... then when i did GMS, they did not know their fingerings... haiz... how to teach like tt... my section also did not do very well today... i expected much more from them... well, i snapped my fingers till my thumb had a blister, i clapped my hands till my hands turned red and there was a burning sensation... haha... good news is yet to come... Chun Bok from Dunman High bought my section shoelaces... it is used as ligeritures for the clarinet... quite interesting... the feeling is very different and my tone is also different... haha... and i told Mr. Ng about my results... haha... damn funny...

ME: "Erm... Mr. Ng is my solo coming soon? i want to start working on it. my exam results are not very pleasing and i might not have the time to work in the future."

Mr Ng: "Oh, the piece is flying here. they forgotten the order. and how is your exams? what do you mean by 'not very pleasing'?"

ME: "Oh. well, i did not do very well... my best grade is just a b4."

Mr Ng: "Ok, so what is your L1R5?"

ME: "L1R5? i am not very sure, but i think it is quite high."

Mr Ng: "Quite high? how high is quite high? to me quite high is around 8 to 9."

ME: "Oh, if that is the case then my L1R5 is very very high."