I work with damage claims. I am the one who decides if your claim is valid and if you get money. I am allowed to pay out a claim in case of leniency. Up until a four-digit payout, I do not have to discuss it with anyone, and I make sure I write down everything. If there is a payout, I can say why, what, when, and why again.

A client hands in a claim. A machine my company placed broke down, unexpectedly, and it needed to be fixed. We paid for the technicians, but it needed two visits before it was fully fixed. There were no damages, but the client claims extra use of electricity. I ask for proof, though according to our contract, we are not obligated to compensate anything in this specific case.

What the client sends me is a bar graph, with no actual numbers or usage, just bars that end between numbers like 0 – 27 – 54… not even sensible numbers. I do my best and estimate that the client used 48 kWh extra. Let’s pretend that it is 50 euros. I offer 75 euros, just to be on the safe side. 

The response to the offer?

Client: “This is much too low! According to my electricity company, it is 52 kWh! I demand you compensate me fairly.”

Me: “I recalculated the extra usage. It would come to about 55 euros. I could transfer that amount to you, but since that is less, I re-offer 75 euros out of leniency.”

Client: “We still think it’s too low, but we decided it is not worth our energy and time, so you can transfer 75 euros to our bank account.”

Some people are just so ungrateful.

I was working with a large national client here in Australia on a database. I’d completed work for this client on and off over the past 5 years or so with no problems. In fact, they were probably one of my favourite clients up until this point.

Until this happened.

Client: “Hey, so we need to kill this project. The company has decided to move in a different direction with regard to R&D operations, and the database is no longer required.”

Me: “Okay, well, that’s a shame as we were over 80% done. You have my invoices for the work completed so far, so once they’re paid, we’re all done.”

Client: “Yeah, because the project is being terminated prior to completion, the executive has said we can’t pay your invoices.”

Me: “Well, the work has been done, and you still need to pay me for it as per our contract. But if they’re refusing to pay, then I guess I’ll have to escalate.”

I then download a copy of the database onto my backup server and remove all of the work I’ve completed from the existing database onto their SharePoint. I also began small claims proceedings.

A few hours later:

Client: “Hey, so where is all of the work you completed? The database is useless without it!

Me: “I removed it. You were paying me per hour to complete the work, but seeing as your executive has decided not to pay, you don’t get to see the fruits of my labour.”

Client: “But the database can’t work without it! What are we supposed to do?”

Me: “I thought your executive was going in a different direction?”

Client: “Well, yes, but that direction still involved the database in its current form.”

Me: “Well, good news, I have a database in prototype form I can give you. The cost is [my original contract fee + 20%].”

Client: “But that’s more than we were paying you!”

Me: “No, it’s more than the amount you were supposed to pay me. But you didn’t pay me at all, so now you can purchase the finished product for a premium.”

Client: “Fine. I’ll send over a purchase order.”

They ended up paying me for the finished product because, apparently, that came out of a different budget, which the executive was happy to spend.

I run my own measuring company for flooring projects; carpet, vinyl, all that. Every appointment, I confirm a two-hour arrival window the night before or the morning of. Then, when I’m leaving the previous client’s house, I text an exact ETA.

They confirm. I arrive. They’re not there. I call.

Customer: “Oh! I’ll be there in half an hour. I’ll see you soon!”

Most of my appointments take fifteen minutes or less, so now I’m just losing money. I technically have the authority to leave a note and reschedule after I’ve waited fifteen minutes, but they always show up at the fourteen-minute mark.

When they finally arrive, I explain:

Me: “Being on time is a point of pride for me. Now I’m late for the rest of my appointments.”

Customer: “Calm down, the time is just a general guideline, right?”

Me: “No. I aim to be exact.”

Customer: “Well, you should chill a little. Be more relaxed.”

Me: “Cool. In that case, I’ll be relaxed and chill when I take your floor measurements.”

Customer: “Well, no…”

It never ceases to amaze me how adults can’t manage their time.

I used to work at an investment brokerage, taking calls from clients.

Me: “Can I take some security details from you, please?”

Caller: “The usual, I suppose? My full name is [Name], I was born on [Date Of Birth], and it’s Hippopotamus1234.

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that last thing?”

Caller: “Hippopotamus1234. My password.”

Me: “Sir, you shouldn’t tell anyone your password, even me!”

Caller: “It’s fine! It’s really hard to spell. I use it for everything!”

Me: “Sir, you have over a million dollars in assets with our firm. I have access to your email address and just about all of your other identifying information. I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, but you have to change your password right now.”

Caller: “Ugh, it took so long to come up with hippopotamus. Could you suggest a good one for me?”

No self-preservation, these people, I swear.

About a week before Thanksgiving, my mom (a savvy business lady) tells me she has a work-associated friend who wants some social media work done. I am up for the gig since my law school finals are ending, and I’ll have some free time over the break, so she gives this dude my email.

[Dude] emails me and outlines some of the ideas and goals he has in mind, I reply to get a sense of what he wants, and I set up a video call to chat in person.

On the call, [Dude] tells me he wants to go viral. He wants this to be a big platform. He wants to do this, this, and this, post every day, see this type of content, have this kind of message, and all that. Like every entrepreneur, he has a bunch of ideas, but mostly, he wants it to go big.

For some context, I’m a law student with experience in social media management for both business and creative types. I’m not an expert, but for a low-level gig, I know my chops.

Me: “I’m not a miracle worker — I can’t ‘make’ something go viral — but I can help you get this thing off the ground, and then in a few months, if things are going well, I can help you transition to a proper professional who can really take this platform and run with it. I’ll start working on a plan, but later in the week because I have finals.”

Dude: “Great!”

And we hang up.

Then, [Dude] starts texting me with screenshots, GIFs, ideas, and all this stuff. Thankfully, he doesn’t interrupt me during my last exam, but it is a legit concern.

Thanksgiving happens, and he’s still texting me. I’m being polite but fending him off. Some red flags are going up because he’s pushy and needy, and his behavior is starting to give me cold feet. I take a breath and decide that I’m a big girl and can say no if I get too overwhelmed. I’m also exhausted from the stress of my finals but so happy to be done.

Then, I get a text on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Dude: “I want a game plan so I can look over it tomorrow.”

Ooh, boy, work on the weekends, and I haven’t even started yet. Oh, well. I don’t have class right now, so I say whatever.

Me: “Hey, [Dude], I can have a plan for you by the end of today. Next time we chat — maybe Monday? — we can go over the plan, what my wages are expected to be, how much and what kind of work I should be doing, etc. I don’t want to take on more than I can handle when school is still my first priority, so getting a sense of what the regular tasks are will be the best way to make sure your needs are met and that I won’t bite off more than I can chew. Sound good?”

Dude: “Monday. This is no pay. It’s learning and being involved with a professional and a great cause. Find an intern then to report to you. There’s 7.5 million of them.”

Excuse me, WHAT?

I’m mad as h***. [Dude] wants me to do all this work for him and take on a managerial role for free? And since I’m in law school and told him I have previous experience doing this kind of work professionally, I need this “learning experience”? And he has this attitude that he’s so great and his social media platform is going to be so great, and that interns are just a dime a dozen?

While I’m absolutely fuming, I screenshot the messages, send them to my mom, and tell her to call me before I do something dumb. My mom calls me.

Mom: “What [Dude]’s asking for is crazy. I’m sorry; I never would’ve connected you with him if I didn’t think it was paid. Plus, it’s illegal to do that work for free unless you set up an academic credit program, which is hard to do.”

Me: “He’s crazy if he wants all that. And I can’t do academic credit because I don’t need social media experience to be a lawyer, and I’m limited in the amount of internship credits I can take on during the school year, so there’s no way I would waste it. I wanted to talk to you and get a different perspective so that I won’t impede on your business relationship.”

Mom and I talk, we’re all good, and we end the call.

I decide that with [Dude]’s attitude, he won’t understand all the problems with unpaid internships and young, capable, working professionals getting taken advantage of, so instead I send him this.

Me: “Oh, I misunderstood, then. I thought this would be a paying gig. If you’re looking to bring someone on for an unpaid internship, you should look into undergraduates studying [field related to the platform’s message] or communications who can work for academic credit, but since I’m working on my law degree, I can’t take on unpaid work. I don’t think I would be a good fit for your platform. Thank you for the opportunity, [Dude], and I wish you the best of luck!”

Of course, I should have trusted my intuition when he sent up all those red flags, but now I see that it was right. But that’s not all! I get another message from [Dude].

Dude: “I don’t pay for very part-time help.”

I’m aghast but not as p***ed as I was before. The audacity of this man to demand as much work as he did, then tell me to hire an intern to delegate all of it, and then tell me it was “very part-time help”! Whatever, not my monkey, not my circus. I’m out, so I don’t need to bother anymore.

Me: “Understood. Best to you!”

But it isn’t all “best to him”. Instead of bowing out like a reasonable person, [Dude] decides to get even more entitled.

Dude: “Umm. You think that $20 an hour is more important than the learning and experience with me? I never said it was paid. I would reconsider and speak with your mom. You’re the only one I’ve asked, and you like the mission very much. Further, you don’t need really $20 an hour. It’s more of the concept of being paid, no?”

I’m shooketh and I’m mad, but at least [Dude] is the crazy, entitled one here. He can shove his learning and experience and his mission up his a**. There is no way I will reconsider because I don’t need him like he thinks he needs me. Of course I’m doing this for the money! Experience doesn’t pay bills! Especially experience THAT I ALREADY HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS GIG and do not need.

And, “It’s more of the concept of being paid”? I cannot with this man. Am I not an adult? Do I not know what it’s like to have a nine-to-five and pay bills and taxes? Get out of here with that bulls***. And you bring my mother into this? The one who is seeing all of these screenshots and who has more class in her little finger than you do in your whole body? Yeah, there’s no way she would be cool with you trying to take advantage of her, her (independent adult) child, or anyone else. She and I can both tell you to take a hike.

But I don’t say all of that — because unlike [Dude] I’m a d*** professional.

Me: “This is not appropriate. I already told you no, I am not interested. You will not be hearing from me again.”

And I block him.

Oh, and he talks to my mom after this conversation.

Mom: “He told me that you are not the right fit. Which means that you aren’t free. So don’t apologize or feel like you should.”