26th march - 31st march...

was full of ups and downs.

ups included booking out for the entire wednesday afternoon for stuff, and inevitably had a JC reunion... hmm i'll have another one on 28th april with most of the same people LOL. we're all competing for the same course argh...

another was today (31st), somehow i felt happy after some physical exertion. and we booked out WOOHOO! looking back, i think things weren't so bad after all la hm. it's just that i can't allow my mind to spiral into negative thinking again. dunno how leh, it just happens sometimes? stress la...

anyway, the rest of the day was somewhat fruitful, i had lunch with parents, then went off to beach road shop no. 133 by recommendation from a bunkmate (the apparently famous one where i see the largest crowd in the entire level), then went to bugis street/junction/albert park (the walkway between sim lim square and bugis village).

EH how come my kakis never hang out at bugis junction ah? it's actually very happening leh... got so much apparel stores (or maybe that's why it's not our kind of place lol) and... wait! interesting eating places like Sketches and etc. (didn't commit their names to memory). i do vaguely remember walking between buildings of the parco bugis compound, but don't remember the kinds of shops it houses... so cool man... and the links between the converted shophouses on the upper levels is just cool can?

i think bugis needs some more adjustments in the lineup of shops, though. no, not bugis junction, but the bugis area, generally, if it wants to gain favour with my kakis. i think we want the convenience of walking around in less congested air-con malls that link up with each other. we want more open spaces. we would, perhaps, like a nice performance area or hall in the vincinity.

actually pargo bugis is already very bustling, got a lot of cool-looking youngsters walking about. but it just doesn't attract people whom i associate with haha.

oh yes i talked about the cheap CDs at bugis village right? guess what? i bought 2 CDs for $10!!!! the poor guy must have a hard time selling his CDs, especially when it's in some odd corner of bugis village (it's not a corner, rather, at a secluded end, facing the road)

more interesting, guess what CDs i bought there? david tao's beautiful and se7en's 24/7! unbeatable pwnage man! i meant the price.

i shan't do album reviews here (at least not today) coz i realise i simply gloss over the aspects of the music and just comment generally, like "oh i like his/her voice! i love the arrangements!" i mean, that IS why anyone would like music right? maybe i'll make exceptions for utada hikaru, because basically about 80% of time spent listening to music is spent on hers. i can be said to be an expert on her music (actually, only her 2 english albums, all her singles and her 4th japanese album - never heard most of the other songs on the 1st 3 jap albums)

back to david tao and se7en. all i can say is that somehow, i really enjoy listening to both of their albums thoroughly. honestly, i didn't have to force myself to sit through the entire album to make a review on this blog (which is what i did for a couple, actually.) i think they may be able to make it to my FREQUENTLY PLAYED LIST :O that's an astounding achievement, really!

david tao is especially pleasing to me because it has classical slants (like the orchestral strings introduction to one of the songs, which has dissonances i don't understand) and it's RnB/soft rock. se7en's album is something you would expect from your glitzy popstar: mass-produced formulaic songs that strive and achieve widespread appeal.

the 3rd CD which i bought is stefanie sun's against the Light (: haven't listened to it fully yet, but i'm expecting good stuff too :D

overall verdict: all 3 albums are good buys :D:D (i bought stefanie sun's one for $8 leh!)

***

oh i have my life plan in my head now! i'm so excited about it man... realised everything falls in place once you've decided on the important stuff:

go through NS, get out and work as part time school and private music teacher while going for extra music or art classes, go through university, get a job (this part depends on the outcome of scholarships) and evantually branch into interior design and/or visual design (although i think it's cooler to be a top notch architect then an art director when you're 60) and hopefully, moonlight as a musician at the same time :) music won't go away from my life, man. i'm going to do something serious about it too, and juggle my other passions at the same time yes yes yes!

for now, NS!

wish

oh please let me into the School! i can already imagine the cool possibilities i can do with that degree... *drools* it's going to be 4-6 years of doing things i've always wanted to do, if i could only get in... arghhh...

whim

i am procrastinating here whee... X(

Your Birthdate: June 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

'inspired' by ryan's recent entry, heh.

Your Career Personality: Independent, Insightful, and Ingenious

Your Ideal Careers: Architect Artist Business strategist College professor Computer programmer Mathematician Neurologist Philosopher Photographer Video game developer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

i need affirmation from these sort of tests haha...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing. You like other people to depend on you... In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out. Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems. Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart. You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

the batch of 01/07...

congrats to everyone who got what they wished for :D and also to those who were pleasantly surprised with the result :)

i suppose it'll be good for me in the long run :) jiayou!!! happy that somebody, an 'organisation', rather, thinks i have the capability hm... impersonal as they (it) can be (well it can't be personal), it's still some kind of encouragement, of sorts.

looking forward to future book outs (alright, some of them) and the outstation trip hm...

newest on my wishlist: to be in the same, urm, group, as my ex-classmates!

(i realise that my roundabout way of saying things is still, quite direct haha!)

*i shall postpone the typing of the ESSAY until tomorrow. bah!* i need to visit some places to 'gather intelligence' then wind down at esplanade in the evening...

lazybones, time to move your bum to where you ought to go! tsk!

:((

walking alone in citylink is a very sad thing to do. although i met friends along the way, they all had other day plans to go through. i'm this aimless speck of dirt flowing around air conditioned city areas...

practically every single track i listen to on HMV's free-to-listen offerings are, well, listenable and nice. i listened to jap pop, mosiac selections (rachael yamagata, her music is heavy, the dense percussion + piano + guitar, the dark chords... interesting stuff), stefanie sun's new album (quite good, interesting introductions) makes me wonder how i like certain singers more than others? what quality of theirs make them stand out more than others? i can't quite get it, either, especially because there are so many other singers out there with better voices and image, music with better arrangements and blend, etc.

today was practically an informal JC reunion for me, i see them walking all over citylink, i see them (and myself) congregated in a room, typing furiously (like what i'm doing right now). will i stand out?

now i heard this from my father's friend: 95% of RJC students actually GO OVERSEAS TO STUDY!? that is a ridiculous proportion, and i don't believe it's true. probably more like "95% went on to further their studies" (i suppose most people rather believe in the former claim: more spaces in local unis freed up for many other deserving candidates who may not be able to get the previlege of going overseas).

anyway, i want, quite badly, to post about my little walking trip from raffles place to pwc building, telok ayer street, chinatown, SMU, bras basah complex, national library, bugis village and finally (pants) sim lim square (all of it done in 3+ hours!). think i'll do it when i have more time... so long for now!

john hoon and jj lin (music reviews)

john hoon - 5 stella lights
Originally uploaded by cliff_au_yong.

thanks to bjorn again for helping me buy these stuff :D

i think my first listening to john hoon's music was last year in HMV heeren, when i went out with bjorn, beow, tiong and chin guan...

was quite impressed with his clear, smooth and gentle voice then (picked up the headphones in HMV to listen). bjorn actually remembered that i liked his singing, 4 months later haha :)

then i realised, after buying the album, that it's a $9.90 mini-album -.- (sorry, i look for budget stuff one) still, it's a reasonable price la, given his newly-found status...

the (synthesised computer) music is polished and squeaky clean, befitting of his voice, and image, too. i like the "90s US-style?", the interesting chromatic chord progressions coupled with the synthesisers unique to this genre which i'm not sure of its name (my iTunes lists it as R&B. hmm.)

i can't believe half of the CD are minus-1 tracks of the same songs featured in the mini-album! i suppose it's for home-KTV people and for weirdos who like to dissect music apart. it's quite good music and arrangements, really. just that this album doesn't stand out in any way...



i like the instrumental and vocal tracks from this show! even if the strings sound off-tune at times :|



the other album that bjorn asked me to buy... it's a live concert audio recording, has many of jj lin's hits spanning his career of 4+ years, includes duets and even cover versions of jay chou and wong lee hom's songs (i like!) just that black humour (jay chou) lost its bitterness and only one (wong lee hom) has not a tinge of... sadness (for the lack of a better word)

i suppose that's a trait of jj lin's style - lighthearted and tender, like a 16-year old handling his first love, anything but too emo, that's my impression of him.

i realise that i actually know more songs by him than i thought (at least the chorus section) - the efforts of mediacorp ch8 :P

a good buy for the uninitiated me, i finally can listen to jj lin outside of Kbox!

forgettable...?

today was a totally indulgent day, food for the stomach and soul...

but i forgot so many things/people today! urgh! and they don't deserve to be forgotten >:( i am a sucky friend. am trying to tell myself its because of constraints on the 'other side', but i should have at least thought of them (the people).

only some of those whom i talked with earlier today know what i'm moaning about haha

lene marlin and globe, i like (music recommendation)

lost in a moment - lene marlin
Originally uploaded by cliff_au_yong.

went to bukit batok civil service club to swim again... i feel so much stronger than before i enlisted! especially endurance-wise -- used to tire out after 2 laps, now i can go on much MUCH longer :D

but my purpose of swimming (as opposed to jogging) is not just for cardio and working out all my limbs at the same time leh, it's to even out the imbalanced tan i have! i look as if i'm wearing a pale V-necked beige (skin coloured) shirt... thats what the POP rehearsal did to me haha...

i am usually hesitant about buying stuff, probably due to my mom's thriftiness, but in the end i buy on impulses...

but i think i'm rather lucky this time, i bought 2 good CDs for only $18 at sembawang music centre!

the first of which is Lene Marlin's "lost in a moment". i heard of her before, that was way way back in 1999, when she released her best-selling "Unforgivable Sinner" (also found in Lime POP Juice, a compilation album made in s'pore).

her voice is beautiful, smooth, light, the simple guitar and drums (and the occasional backup voices) pop-rock accompaniment complements her voice as well - apparently the inspiration for this (3rd) studio album was from her 1st.

nothing much to say about the album, though... quality-wise all the tracks are equal. quite good for chilling out or emo-ing, they're the kind of songs you can expect your semi-professional one man band performer to sing while strumming the guitar yep...



i was intrigued by the simple design of this CD, and after viewing its slightly odd english track titles (what is "end of 3rd element"? on second thought it's probably alluding to this album, which is their 3rd), i thought, heck, i'll just buy this...

by the way, globe is a japanese group haha...

it's not too bad either, i like the piano introduction ("before dark"), great mood-setting... but most of the album isn't of the experimental-sounding nature of the introduction... it's just a simple happy dance album with easygoing melodies... the arrangement/production of the tracks rock, thanks to the famous tetsuya komuro, one-third of globe's members, and early pioneer of dance music in japan.

worth my $9 bucks per CD, but i might not buy them if they cost $20 each. (btw i'm a sucker for "best of" albums, which may explain my stinginess when it comes to spending money on normal albums)

Reflections on BMT

My ex-Platoon Commander (he's been posted to 3rd guards) asked for our reflections on BMT. Here it is, reproduced in its original version.
***
It was not long ago when I boarded the ferry service at the SFT with my parents and luggage in tow. I still remember the dread and apprehension I felt then. What is to happen to me? Will I be accepted by my peers and commanders? Will I be able to endure the physical training?

In fact, those worrying thoughts only crept up in the few days leading to my enlistment. Before that, I was actually looking forward to be enlisted, to be transformed into something else (hopefully something better than what I was). And oh boy was I glad for the change, but only for a while. To be more exact, only for the first week of enlistment.

What more can I ask for? I have reasonable and amiable commanders, the trainings are tough but they are carried out with due regards to my welfare as well, and I quickly fostered friendships with my platoon mates, some of whom I have seen during my secondary and JC school life, but have not talked with before.

The reality of leading a military life probably did not sink into me during the first week. Looking back, I was probably brimming with positivism back then because of the novelty of army! Getting my first paycheck, wearing the No. 4 uniform (for the uninitiated, it is the green uniform with the camouflage pattern), finally being released from school!

Yes, being released from school is one enormous, major milestone in anybody’s life, I suppose. I was (and am) excited about shaping my life the way I would like it to be – my appearance, lifestyle, career… things that I never bothered much about. 12 years is a long time, but how short it seems now, after going through it.

The 9 weeks, at certain times, felt longer than 12 years! Army life is certainly mentally less taxing than JC life (at least for the time being), but the yearning to board a one-way ferry service from Pulau Tekong is lethal! And most people say BMT is the best part of army life, what will happen to me come 25 March?

But I shall not give up just as yet! Nearly every male Singaporean underwent the 2 years of training and came out of it alive and stronger, for about 40 years already. Going by the laws of probability I should be able to do so, too. I must lift my spirits, get ready for the skirmishes, battles and wars ahead.

The 9 weeks of army uncovered parts of me, some of which I probably never noticed before. I found out that I am a slow learner, possibly owing to a bad short term memory (handling the foot drills and procedures involving the rifle requires immense brainpower to memorize). I am almost consistently one of the last men to leave the bunk for activities because I struggle to finish doing everything in time. And of course, I now treasure my normal civilian life more than ever – my family, my house, my free time. It is really what they say, a journey of self discovery.

To add on to what I have only glossed over earlier, I am thankful for the people around me, the commanders and peers who accommodate my utterly ‘unique’ self and embrace my weaknesses. Am equally grateful to the gila and garang people in my platoon who push everyone to maintain a sense of urgency. Hopefully the rest of their NS life will be fulfilling for them.

I wonder if what I wrote is similar to others’. The shared experiences will certainly bond people together, in the future after we ORD or POP, if not now. We’ll understand the intentions and treasure the experience more when we get older, I suppose.

visiting...

rj chorale and mr toh and punch today :) plus yi han + bonkie + zhizhong who also came back to visit the juniors! needless to say i'm happy to see all of them after so long...

i'm looking forward to watch RJ chorale's concert, hopefully i'm able to book out then :\ anyway, i think they're pretty ok, they'll be good when the concert date draws near :) punch has potential too! j1s and j2s, jiayou!!! oh well, too bad the concert can only last one hour. goodness knows how many songs they can do? if the small groups take up, say 20 min altogether, that leaves the chorale with less than 40 mins... add breaks in between items, the concert will only be half the length of a regular one :(

i dedicate the following to my friends (yes, another jap song). try to watch the PV (promotional video) for this song. it's awfully good.

***

Kimi wa tomodachi (You Are My Friend)
(lyrics and music by ken hirai)

You laughed & I joined in the laughter too
Like reflections in the mirror, you're my friend
You were mad, I also got mad without giving up
It seems like a kids' fight, you're my friend

When I'm lonely, keep me company a little longer
Won't you listen closely to what I say?
Only your voice eases my soul
just by making sounds that you're listening

(whenever you feel alone)
Even if we're apart, you'll always
be in my heart

You were crying, I also seemed to be crying
But stifled my laughter; "Cheer up," I laughed

When you're lonely, I'll go quickly to you at any time
I won't snap at your words, but
If my voice heals your heart,
Is it ok even if I just make sounds that indicate that I'm listening?

(that's what friends are for
always be your side)

When it's lonely, keep me company a little longer
Won't you listen closely to what I say?
Only your voice eases my soul
just by making sounds that you're listening

When you're not here, I'm really in a bind
It's something that I'm choked up to say: you're my friend

***

in the past, i thought i had the emotional capacity and empathy to console and guide people (especially friends) through rough times. nowadays, i still try, but perhaps i'm not the wonderful 'angelic' being i was? words of concern can easily be misunderstood as expressions of contempt, pain felt for others are viewed as crocodile tears. what the hell la.

i've learnt not to say much, if anything at all, to grieving people, especially when i'm on higher ground. not because i don't care, but i don't know how to. i'll just stand beside them.

hm or maybe less people are confiding their feelings with me. it's way easier to comfort them if they started talking first.

just to let them know, i'm really truly upset for them. is it my business to be (involved with their lives)? yes, because i can't help but to choose to be.

human relationships are quite hard to maintain properly at times, haha. i hope my friends won't see my lack of response (apart from my obvious countenance upon learning about their results) as coldness. on the other hand, i'm afraid that i downgrade to the category of 'friend only in good times' if i don't help guide and sort their feelings. gah...

anyway, i congratulate the people who are contented with their results :) i personally can't ask for more for myself... i deserve to fail a particular component; another subject grade fell from the sky (a SERIOUSLY underserving grade, an impossibly good that, that is, given my incapacity for writing). i must be really loathed by my classmates now, for getting something i really don't deserve :\

pre-A level result release

i'll be off in a while to collect the results... needless to say i'm very anxious, but less so than the run-up to the release of the O level results (perhaps it's because of the environment? or maybe there are fewer subjects to be worried about. haha.)

it is close to impossible to talk to someone else, especically one who isn't from certain *cough cough* institutions of higher learning, about my worries. even some from those institutions would frown upon you if you said something like "i'm very scared leh, what if i can't get my 3As?"

i really, really hope i don't sound aloof, because i never meant to be like that. i just need to solidify my thoughts about stuff here

fine, AABC (or ABC, for 3-subbers) is already pretty decent results, i might say good, even. you can enter NUS without problems (getting your desired course is another matter, though). much less AAAA. and don't start on the S papers. reality is, you'll be able to get a degree with ABC and then, a job. what more should you ask for?

a reason why some worry about results is that it's a reflection of what we've accomplished during the past few years. and knowing what we can do, we expect certain standards. example: i wasn't happy about my O level physics grade but i was satisfied about my mother tongue grade (and i got the same grade for both subjects). i felt that my proficieny of mother tongue was lacking, and to actually get that result was already quite good, however, i expected better for my physics grade. now i regret not studying for physics during the run up to O levels (and concentrated on everything else especially SS/Hist, Maths and mother tongue).

that's why i'm resolved to correct my physics results this time round! it's a personal achievement thingy, hopefully people can understand. getting good results isn't a bragging right, in my opinion.

i think we shouldn't compare expectations amongst people. to each their own...

my bunkmate is right: the results don't matter as much as what you DO with your capital/abilities. ok, apart from the cliche examples of bill gates and sim wong hoo, anybody with a decent income can multiply his money, if he knows how to!

just veering off a little: i appreciate smarts of the non-academic kind. like how people have oodles of common sense (which i lack at times) or how people do things so fast (and i lag behind). a lot of people in NS (peers or otherwise) have intelligences i don't have and i wished i have, haha.

aiya, anyway i wish everyone all the best for their results! gtg now... and i apologise if i have inadvertently offended anyone.