i wonder if the maintenance of this blog (that is, in simpler terms, blogging) has caused me to become more self-centered. or is my conscription ironically making me think more for myself?
(actually, it's not illogical. although NS is for the better good of the nation, the involuntary near-absolute surrender of one's time may somehow cause one's head to start cranking up ideas on how to take back what one feels is his and hence, becomes more selfish la. and i'm not making up spin here. chats with some of the people i've met in NS have revealed each of their own selfish nature. of course there are helpful people in NS, really helpful ones and i appreciate them. but i also wonder how many think of using their bookout time for a 'greater' cause i.e. CIP-style work? sigh.)
and an informal (credibility not sure, i didn't check that out) personality test reveals i'm somewhat neurotic, haha. oh well, i guess (i'm hoping, actually) many of my peers would be similarly neurotic lol.
(tekong is quite good so far. got very entertaining bunkmates. finally i can have exciting random chats again heh.)
it's quite amazing how some memories retain their vividness better than others. memories of dreams, experiences, thoughts... the longing for what i used to have (or not have but dreamt of) and indulged in is like a bath in warm scented spring water. or snuggling up in a thick blanket in an air-conditioned bedroom. haha, sigh. don't think i'll experience something real in the near future, i'm too neurotic for anything wonderful to happen onto me hoho...
Friday, August 31, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
i kick myself!
now, what have i done during the past few days...
friday: watched 'hairspray' with yi han! the movie-musical is really good, it can cheer anybody up :)
saturday: dinner with some chorale people at cilantro (somewhere near between bugis and city hall). was complaining about my lamb chop which tasted like satay, until i realised (from the decor of the restaurant) that it's a FUSION-themed restaurant -.- the dessert (apple pie with ice cream) more than made up for it, though...
sunday: dad's birthday, and AHM which i could have skipped because nobody was there to mark attendance. again, the efficieny of my sub-unit has been proved. because i didn't run for about 2 months, i felt real giddy and everything looked quite white for a while after running the 6km :O don't worry i'm fine, though. after that, i bummed around with zhengyi and borrowed some instructional/information books from esplanade.
now, why do i want to kick myself? just about every other ex-classmate is enrolled in a (i suppose?) superior faculty or university, or is simply flying off. while i'm probably going to get a 'typical' university life OH NOES!!!! ok, this is probably being unfair to NUS, but the prestige of being in NUS med/law fac, or just about any overseas university is undeniable, isn't it?? too bad i'm not interested in engineering (which i think i would have been able to secure a scholarship with), or med or law haha. but i got this feeling i'm not going to regret having made the choice to stay put here when i finally start in aug 09. haiz dunno la, i'm too fickle-minded.
friday: watched 'hairspray' with yi han! the movie-musical is really good, it can cheer anybody up :)
saturday: dinner with some chorale people at cilantro (somewhere near between bugis and city hall). was complaining about my lamb chop which tasted like satay, until i realised (from the decor of the restaurant) that it's a FUSION-themed restaurant -.- the dessert (apple pie with ice cream) more than made up for it, though...
sunday: dad's birthday, and AHM which i could have skipped because nobody was there to mark attendance. again, the efficieny of my sub-unit has been proved. because i didn't run for about 2 months, i felt real giddy and everything looked quite white for a while after running the 6km :O don't worry i'm fine, though. after that, i bummed around with zhengyi and borrowed some instructional/information books from esplanade.
now, why do i want to kick myself? just about every other ex-classmate is enrolled in a (i suppose?) superior faculty or university, or is simply flying off. while i'm probably going to get a 'typical' university life OH NOES!!!! ok, this is probably being unfair to NUS, but the prestige of being in NUS med/law fac, or just about any overseas university is undeniable, isn't it?? too bad i'm not interested in engineering (which i think i would have been able to secure a scholarship with), or med or law haha. but i got this feeling i'm not going to regret having made the choice to stay put here when i finally start in aug 09. haiz dunno la, i'm too fickle-minded.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
3 stripes
finally got the damned ch3vr0n5 XD
today's parade was ok, except i screwed up the rifle drill real bad - the sling unclipped itself from the rifle during a drill!!! O_o clipped it back during the awards presentation segment, when most of the audience's attention was directed towards the stage. i deem it rather amazing that the guy standing right beside me during the parade didn't notice any of this at all.
my experiences during the past 5 months would have been a lot better if i didn't have such a voracious appetite heh! need to lose the fats on my tummy now.
on a more serious note, my life would be great if there weren't any selfish, obnoxious, stupid (not in the academic sense of course), THEIVING, stubborn people around. oh, and add people who make unenlightened judgements. grr.
more about 'theiving' people. can't stand it when people borrow things which belong to me without asking WHEN I AM PRESENT. i mean, i'm alright with lending things, even if they borrow it and return in my absence as long as they tell me about it later. but when you just take something that's mine away right under my nose that's impolite!! worse, borrow and not return, whether the culprit has asked for permission or not. this has been the cause of my loss of at least 3 pens (of which i retreived 2 by actively claiming it back -.-), an ENTIRE RIFLE CLEANING KIT WHICH INCLUDED A BLANK ATTACHMENT AND C-TOOL. that cost me about $30 to replace, you know. on a tangential note more items should be classified as credit-payable, then i wouldn't be spending so much cash.
the baseness of human nature (to be fair i do crack under stress, but hey, there are people who're just, well, base. winter, spring, autumn or fall). oh well. enumerating and detailing the instances when people demonstrate such unworthy 'virtues' on a public blog will prove itself to be a far too emotionally-charged and draining, not to mention, unnecessary and simply mean, thing to do. i'll just shut my gap up and try to forget and forgive all those who have offended me. but that's going to be a challenge when i am to be cast off to island tekong with a handful of the abovementioned. :( save my wretched soul.
i don't know why were people nicer during BMT. is it because all the recruits were unfamiliar thus feeling threatened by the military environment and therefore, behaved more amicably towards each other in order to receive mutual support? maybe it's because post-BMT moods are generally poor. or is it because of...?
if i've offended anybody during my course as a trainee, for an unreasonably large part i'm not very apologetic, sorry. (unless, of course, i obviously started the trouble. i'm not yet a total jerk, you know.) although i don't champion a tit-for-tat attitude, when you're sick and tired of nonsense unfolding and manifesting itself every single day the good (or less bad, however you wish to think) succumbs to the desire to retaliate. sometimes i wonder what's wrong with myself, i must be deprived of something important. sigh. my tolerance level must increase furthur.
back to the parade thingy, everyone was really showing their joys and all right after it ended, but i didn't feel that immense, pressured-release of elation like steam streaming furiously out of a pressure cooker. maybe the realisation that i'm permanently out of that camp grounds has not struck me hard then, it's slowly coming to me right now, though. was somehow silently glad about leaving the people behind - that means no human interaction except with my mum who graciously attended the parade :) - as i dragged my duffle bag out of the grounds.
(disclaimer: i am not implying that there's anything bad about that camp, it's just that i'd like to stay away from organisations and build a sanctuary in the confines of my own private space for a while)
i suppose the current locations of my house and my new camp, being on opposite ends of the country, give me more excuses to hang out at various places of interest during my bookout times, can't be a bad thing :)
future aim: train the best trainee! :[ muahahaha...
*ahh, in a better mood after translating my angst into black-and-white.*
today's parade was ok, except i screwed up the rifle drill real bad - the sling unclipped itself from the rifle during a drill!!! O_o clipped it back during the awards presentation segment, when most of the audience's attention was directed towards the stage. i deem it rather amazing that the guy standing right beside me during the parade didn't notice any of this at all.
my experiences during the past 5 months would have been a lot better if i didn't have such a voracious appetite heh! need to lose the fats on my tummy now.
on a more serious note, my life would be great if there weren't any selfish, obnoxious, stupid (not in the academic sense of course), THEIVING, stubborn people around. oh, and add people who make unenlightened judgements. grr.
more about 'theiving' people. can't stand it when people borrow things which belong to me without asking WHEN I AM PRESENT. i mean, i'm alright with lending things, even if they borrow it and return in my absence as long as they tell me about it later. but when you just take something that's mine away right under my nose that's impolite!! worse, borrow and not return, whether the culprit has asked for permission or not. this has been the cause of my loss of at least 3 pens (of which i retreived 2 by actively claiming it back -.-), an ENTIRE RIFLE CLEANING KIT WHICH INCLUDED A BLANK ATTACHMENT AND C-TOOL. that cost me about $30 to replace, you know. on a tangential note more items should be classified as credit-payable, then i wouldn't be spending so much cash.
the baseness of human nature (to be fair i do crack under stress, but hey, there are people who're just, well, base. winter, spring, autumn or fall). oh well. enumerating and detailing the instances when people demonstrate such unworthy 'virtues' on a public blog will prove itself to be a far too emotionally-charged and draining, not to mention, unnecessary and simply mean, thing to do. i'll just shut my gap up and try to forget and forgive all those who have offended me. but that's going to be a challenge when i am to be cast off to island tekong with a handful of the abovementioned. :( save my wretched soul.
i don't know why were people nicer during BMT. is it because all the recruits were unfamiliar thus feeling threatened by the military environment and therefore, behaved more amicably towards each other in order to receive mutual support? maybe it's because post-BMT moods are generally poor. or is it because of...?
if i've offended anybody during my course as a trainee, for an unreasonably large part i'm not very apologetic, sorry. (unless, of course, i obviously started the trouble. i'm not yet a total jerk, you know.) although i don't champion a tit-for-tat attitude, when you're sick and tired of nonsense unfolding and manifesting itself every single day the good (or less bad, however you wish to think) succumbs to the desire to retaliate. sometimes i wonder what's wrong with myself, i must be deprived of something important. sigh. my tolerance level must increase furthur.
back to the parade thingy, everyone was really showing their joys and all right after it ended, but i didn't feel that immense, pressured-release of elation like steam streaming furiously out of a pressure cooker. maybe the realisation that i'm permanently out of that camp grounds has not struck me hard then, it's slowly coming to me right now, though. was somehow silently glad about leaving the people behind - that means no human interaction except with my mum who graciously attended the parade :) - as i dragged my duffle bag out of the grounds.
(disclaimer: i am not implying that there's anything bad about that camp, it's just that i'd like to stay away from organisations and build a sanctuary in the confines of my own private space for a while)
i suppose the current locations of my house and my new camp, being on opposite ends of the country, give me more excuses to hang out at various places of interest during my bookout times, can't be a bad thing :)
future aim: train the best trainee! :[ muahahaha...
*ahh, in a better mood after translating my angst into black-and-white.*
Saturday, August 18, 2007
prelude to the end of part III
this is when i go through my well thought out plans for my future...
someone tell me why do i have too many interests, and how to whittle them down to a few so i can concentrate on those few :(
popcontemporaryjazzclassicalpianovoicedrawingcomposingarrangingproducingenglishliteraturegermanjapanese... and there's the necessary stuff to do, such as exercising etc.
when i (finally) get to university i'll have literally no more time left for extraneous pursuits, so i need to settle them before university! help!
imagine a timetable like this (i imagine myself doing something like this in 2009):
6.00am wake up
6.30am travel to school
7.30am reach school for assembly
8.00am start conducting maths or physics classes
5.00pm end of classes
7.00pm start teaching piano at a music school
10.00pm go home
11.00pm reach home
alternatively,
8.00pm start playing piano at a pub or hotel lobby
11.00pm go home
12.00pm reach home
career, money = good ($65/day for relief teaching alone!), time = zero. unless i spend the free time in the day on individualistic things, but my dear colleagues will notice. hm.
picture this: i import a mini MIDI keyboard into my office cubicle, plug it into the laptop lent by the school (ok perhaps my OWN laptop, since when does school provide laptops to relief teachers, or do they?), and fiddle with the black-and-white plastic keys silently, the sound travelling electronically through headphone cables and converted into sound waves at my ears. when i should be marking scripts or coming up with lesson plans or preparing tutorial solutions or giving remedials. uh oh.
or maybe i'm thinking way too far ahead. still, i got to make the best out of this time. i want to go for courses! perhaps a music- or language-related course, or learn a contemporary dance style, driving lessons, japanese becuase i'm interested in its culture, german for its usefulness if i do get to travel to europe again. ahh, europe... oh yes, exploit my membership cards (safra, chevron) as much as possible!
somebody please give suggestions how to spend my time? do tag or leave a comment here :)
oh, i received my self-shipment of my CDs - tales of earthsea by studio ghibli and instrumental versions of songs (aka a music CD) found in studio ghibli animations :D:D the music CD is a cheat, it's mostly MIDI :'( but for MIDI it's quite good, acutually more than passable. love their tunes, you guys should go listen to some of them :) haven't watched tales of earthsea (yes, it's adapted from the novel series of the same name) yet, maybe i'll watch it tomorrow...
someone tell me why do i have too many interests, and how to whittle them down to a few so i can concentrate on those few :(
popcontemporaryjazzclassicalpianovoicedrawingcomposingarrangingproducingenglishliteraturegermanjapanese... and there's the necessary stuff to do, such as exercising etc.
when i (finally) get to university i'll have literally no more time left for extraneous pursuits, so i need to settle them before university! help!
imagine a timetable like this (i imagine myself doing something like this in 2009):
6.00am wake up
6.30am travel to school
7.30am reach school for assembly
8.00am start conducting maths or physics classes
5.00pm end of classes
7.00pm start teaching piano at a music school
10.00pm go home
11.00pm reach home
alternatively,
8.00pm start playing piano at a pub or hotel lobby
11.00pm go home
12.00pm reach home
career, money = good ($65/day for relief teaching alone!), time = zero. unless i spend the free time in the day on individualistic things, but my dear colleagues will notice. hm.
picture this: i import a mini MIDI keyboard into my office cubicle, plug it into the laptop lent by the school (ok perhaps my OWN laptop, since when does school provide laptops to relief teachers, or do they?), and fiddle with the black-and-white plastic keys silently, the sound travelling electronically through headphone cables and converted into sound waves at my ears. when i should be marking scripts or coming up with lesson plans or preparing tutorial solutions or giving remedials. uh oh.
or maybe i'm thinking way too far ahead. still, i got to make the best out of this time. i want to go for courses! perhaps a music- or language-related course, or learn a contemporary dance style, driving lessons, japanese becuase i'm interested in its culture, german for its usefulness if i do get to travel to europe again. ahh, europe... oh yes, exploit my membership cards (safra, chevron) as much as possible!
somebody please give suggestions how to spend my time? do tag or leave a comment here :)
oh, i received my self-shipment of my CDs - tales of earthsea by studio ghibli and instrumental versions of songs (aka a music CD) found in studio ghibli animations :D:D the music CD is a cheat, it's mostly MIDI :'( but for MIDI it's quite good, acutually more than passable. love their tunes, you guys should go listen to some of them :) haven't watched tales of earthsea (yes, it's adapted from the novel series of the same name) yet, maybe i'll watch it tomorrow...
Monday, August 13, 2007
WELCOME TO TAIWAN
training was physically and mentally tough, especially when i have to endure EQ- and commonsense-challenged people. funny how my hate dissolved at the end of the training :\
anyway, RnR was not too bad, save for all the amusement parks the guided 'educational' tour brought us too. too many of a good thing is bad, and boy, were we glad for the 'free and easy' periods!
ok, let the pictures do the talking!
betel nuts are the craze all over taiwan...
... and so are convenience stores, such as 7-eleven.
this is a scary amusement ride, it propells you vertically down at blistering speeds up till over 100 km/h! the scary part was actually going up, though :| oh, it was interesting to note that a lot of the amusement parks promote certain cultures, such as the local aborigines or modern taiwan history...
turkish ice cream, found in leofoo village, also an amusement park. i liked that park the most, it even had a mini zoo!
won't be seeing this in s'pore anytime soon, i guess. opium smells like soap. oh, and i think i tasted opium-flavoured green tea (compliments from the hotel) - the taste is GROSS. like cigarette smoke.
some of my 'mates at the lunch table... we ate pork and egg and cabbage for every meal in 20 minutes. not that i'm complaining about the pork, haha
that's me (i can't recognise myself) at a temple overlooking a really huge river.
i'm rather thankful for the typhoon, which cooled temperatures down by about 10 degrees. how picturesque, never mind the human heads below :S
ximending... lots of streetwear shops, shopping haven for teens. however prices don't differ much from singapore, that kind of dampened things a bit :(
but it's all ok when i have cheap food! 2 buns going for NT35 (approx. $1.60) because the shop was to close for the day...
another part of ximending. how i wish i had all the money in the world *drools*
ningxia night market, near the hotel which i stayed in.
tasty food from ningxia!
how can you say you've visited taipei without going to at least one night market heh! i visited one more - shilin!
some parts of taiwan still live in the 8-bit world, i see :P how can one cartridge cost NT300!? it should be free or priceless in this age and time lol.
one of a few shopping malls we visited. i think in all i spent over NT10000 in all sorts of stuff, don't ask me how i did it :|
horrah for their train system (whose engines make similar sounds as our local MRT - manufactured by the same japanese company) i liked my travelling experiences on the trains a lot...
TRTS. yep it does look a bit like our MRTs...
waiting for the inter-town train to take me out of taipei (albeit 'illegally') to...
hsinchu! where i met up with my relatives for a short while!
and that was kind of the end of my trip to taiwan haha. am missing it already, which is quite strange considering i wasn't always in a good mood during the trip - being unable to bring any CDs back (i mailed 2 CD sets back home from hsinchu), spending extravagently on things, sticking around a motley crew of shoppers who all had different agendas, hanging around amusement/cultural parks aimlessly twice WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN VISITING TAIPEI 101 AND WINDOW SHOPPING AND EATING :@ still, i'm pretty glad for the chance to travel abroad again. happy happy happy.
teehee sorry for not buying anything for you guys (the stuff there is practially the same as in singapore) but if you would come visit me at my house i could treat you to delicious pineapple tarts and mochi :D
***
post-taiwan was quite ok, finished reading the whole of 'deathly hallows' in approx 10 hours, munching on my newfound snacks (i gained 1.5kg after returning home, i hope part of it is muscle mass created from climbing hills). feeling more solitary than ever, i'd like to spend time staying at home and not going out haha.
anyway, RnR was not too bad, save for all the amusement parks the guided 'educational' tour brought us too. too many of a good thing is bad, and boy, were we glad for the 'free and easy' periods!
ok, let the pictures do the talking!
betel nuts are the craze all over taiwan...
... and so are convenience stores, such as 7-eleven.
this is a scary amusement ride, it propells you vertically down at blistering speeds up till over 100 km/h! the scary part was actually going up, though :| oh, it was interesting to note that a lot of the amusement parks promote certain cultures, such as the local aborigines or modern taiwan history...
turkish ice cream, found in leofoo village, also an amusement park. i liked that park the most, it even had a mini zoo!
won't be seeing this in s'pore anytime soon, i guess. opium smells like soap. oh, and i think i tasted opium-flavoured green tea (compliments from the hotel) - the taste is GROSS. like cigarette smoke.
some of my 'mates at the lunch table... we ate pork and egg and cabbage for every meal in 20 minutes. not that i'm complaining about the pork, haha
that's me (i can't recognise myself) at a temple overlooking a really huge river.
i'm rather thankful for the typhoon, which cooled temperatures down by about 10 degrees. how picturesque, never mind the human heads below :S
ximending... lots of streetwear shops, shopping haven for teens. however prices don't differ much from singapore, that kind of dampened things a bit :(
but it's all ok when i have cheap food! 2 buns going for NT35 (approx. $1.60) because the shop was to close for the day...
another part of ximending. how i wish i had all the money in the world *drools*
ningxia night market, near the hotel which i stayed in.
tasty food from ningxia!
how can you say you've visited taipei without going to at least one night market heh! i visited one more - shilin!
some parts of taiwan still live in the 8-bit world, i see :P how can one cartridge cost NT300!? it should be free or priceless in this age and time lol.
one of a few shopping malls we visited. i think in all i spent over NT10000 in all sorts of stuff, don't ask me how i did it :|
horrah for their train system (whose engines make similar sounds as our local MRT - manufactured by the same japanese company) i liked my travelling experiences on the trains a lot...
TRTS. yep it does look a bit like our MRTs...
waiting for the inter-town train to take me out of taipei (albeit 'illegally') to...
hsinchu! where i met up with my relatives for a short while!
and that was kind of the end of my trip to taiwan haha. am missing it already, which is quite strange considering i wasn't always in a good mood during the trip - being unable to bring any CDs back (i mailed 2 CD sets back home from hsinchu), spending extravagently on things, sticking around a motley crew of shoppers who all had different agendas, hanging around amusement/cultural parks aimlessly twice WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN VISITING TAIPEI 101 AND WINDOW SHOPPING AND EATING :@ still, i'm pretty glad for the chance to travel abroad again. happy happy happy.
teehee sorry for not buying anything for you guys (the stuff there is practially the same as in singapore) but if you would come visit me at my house i could treat you to delicious pineapple tarts and mochi :D
***
post-taiwan was quite ok, finished reading the whole of 'deathly hallows' in approx 10 hours, munching on my newfound snacks (i gained 1.5kg after returning home, i hope part of it is muscle mass created from climbing hills). feeling more solitary than ever, i'd like to spend time staying at home and not going out haha.
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