end of a 2 month long hiatus from the blog.

felt that i should write a post here. because i'm experiencing a lot of awesome things that even my heart - blanched, numbed and sterilised from the fairly recent past - can feel.

1. a senior and a friend whom i know is just, pure awesome T_T he could have very well been like my peers and lead a normal awesome life, but, no. i (stubbornly) refuse to believe in some things others say about him; without what he has done, some things would not be as good as it is now.

pondering about what he had said, i'm so glad i decided to join usp and not just stay in my home faculty. the people over there (usp) make my university life more complete (and hopefully the modules to come will be top-class, i'm pretty sure the usp ones will). although i complain to whoever asks me about going overseas, that i'm envious that so many peers are studying elsewhere, i'm actually - honestly - really contented with the opportunities nus has (didn't realise that i HAVE BEEN contented all this while till now; moaning about not having a scholarship/cash to be in uk or usa is probably just some stupid innate mecahnism in me that tries to explain away me being the anomaly within the alumnus of the 'ivy league gateway' college).

2. met up with a few old army friends. am very thankful and apologetic towards my oc, who just treated his past and present commanders under his charge to a dinner costing (or so i heard) a whopping FOUR DIGIT SUM!? omg. he's too nice in this aspect. i sincerely hope his future will be awesome for him. he's a fantastic person.

anyway, a friend whom i have not met for more than a year unexpectedly turned up. actually, i really hoped to keep our friendship tight, but he's been such a horrible hermit that i hardly got to chat with him during this one plus year, or my attempts on msn failed miserably. don't get me wrong, we get along together well. used to. and so, i actually decided he's not worth the upset feeling i go through whenever i try to message him and told myself to forget him. and so i did. and i didn't expect him to be so happy to see me this evening. or rather, i (ironically) didn't expect myself to be less ecstatic than would be expected if this chance meeting were to happen one plus years ago.

and, i dislike so much the amount of noise a bunch of NSmen/NSFs can generate, especially over lame conversations. anyhow, thankfully i was seated with people i am totally comfortable and familiar with. and i vaguely missed my bunk for a moment (omg) (then again, the bunk and the empty company line especially at night were really lovely places then, when the campus was still a dismembered arm of school one). at that point, i wished i was closer to a few of my friends i found in the army. thank you, to another friend whom i sat with today, for being so genuinely interested in what i've been up to. you're awesome..

3. omg about rag and o-week. this year's o-week is nothing short of WOW. the programme is seriously so good. the meet your major session, picnic, semi dress-up dinner with dining hall tables... OMG.

rag ah. oh please let it be good. thank you mr awesome for your provoking reflections, which i'm SO FREAKING SURE is the main cause of the spike in sign ups for manpower services.

4. brother just got conscripted and he's apparently having a destructive (i mean, negative) mindset in there. didn't get to send him off because i couldn't get out of o-week (ARGH).

and then, i read a forwarded email about how a junior got attacked by muggers and has some members amputated. and i think about my brother *SHUDDERS*. omg i hope he's alright.


closing remarks.

i've not been processing what's going through my mind for so long. i hope i'll grow stronger and re-visit my formerly introspective mind. realise that without that, i'm so lost for words whenever someone else asks me a question.

OK I'M DAMN TIRED NOW I JUST GOT BACK FROM CAMP/DINNER. night.