Shadows. The past is like shadows. cannot be wiped away.
*
People have different preferences.
People can see small eyed people as attractive people.
But will I find anyone who will appreciate my small "beauty" leh?
*
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:39 PM
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Oh wells, today I got a shock of my life. It was still a somewhat normal day to me. haha. *gives a guilty look*
Alrights.
whatever it is, actually I dun care. They are just celebrities. They dun interfere my life. As long as they happy with what they have now, then just go with it.
*
Dun let the feeling surface again, please.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9:24 PM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY.
(Lets see if you can get through it.If not,you're too scared about yourpast.)
I decided to do this survey, so that in future I can read how I feel now. =))
Longest relationship:
- duno the exact. the most about 2-4 mths. (there are breaks and patchs in btwn).
relationship:
- not in a relationship currently. been years i've been single =DD But in a special relationship with many ppl. =)) My bf, dears, my gf, my darlings and many more... =)) But not in the love status that I'm attached.
ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were dating?
- nope, none of them. Not even a second I thought of it.
liked someone so much that it hurts?
- HELL YES. Hurt until I cried everyday. And no one knew it until I wrote on my blog. =X
Have you ever made a boyfriend orgirlfriend cry?
- I'm not sure whether I made them cry or not when we broke up... haha!~ But I'm worthless for them to cry la!~~ Who will cry when we break up... I'm just unlovable. No one will cry for me when break up... They will just act like nothing bahs... Who knows...
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
- I not sure. Perhaps single? Who knows. So long never been in a relationship liaos. Been in a relationship, dun seem like I'm in a relationship like that, dun get the "feel".
Have you ever been cheated on?
- perhaps I was, I already had tried to wash away the wounds... now my memories are blurred... I truly forgotten whether I'm cheated a not........
What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
- the tight and warm embraces that touches the deepest part of my heart, and that feel just lingers in my heart even after slping.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
- of course. too many times until i'm used to it.
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
- perhaps a yes, perhaps a no. i oso duno...
Talk to your ex[es]?
- somewhat. we talk about "artificial stuffs" but we never went deeper about what each other did when...
If you could go back in time would you change things to where you could still be with one of your exs?
- perhaps I'm still with him longer than I would have thought, but not until now, definitely.
Think any of your ex's feel the sameway?
- i not sure. they nvr tell me anything. haha!~ i dun tink they feel that way. oh wells, ppl will like other ppl after some time de if you dun like someone really deep enough... lalala!~
Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
- one of my ex told me that I was a good one. But I never believed on it.
Have you dated people who were not good to you?
- yes.
Have you dated someone older then you?
- still a yes.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
- I hope I deserve a second chance. Only some deserved it, in my perspective.
Believe in love at first sight?
- I dun believe it, seriously. To me, it's just lust or momentary crush bahs. I duno.
Ever dated two people at once?
- nope, i dun. not to the extent of date. but I can like two people at one time (but of course cannot love two people at one time =x)
Do you want to get married?
- Seriously, my answer now is no.
Do you have something to say to any of your exs?
- If we didn't...
Ever stolen someone's boyfriend orgirlfriend?
- nopee.
Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
- yes, the first one. and the worse one. (But I liked him before they went steady so... haha!~ duno how to say)
Does heartbreak really feel as bad asit sounds?
- It's a HUGE YES.
Are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- let nature take its own course. When it comes, I will just accept it. If it dun come, just be it.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@3:51 PM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
SOME PHOTOS OF THIS WEEK!!~
Just some random photos while waiting for CK to help buy lunch for me!! =))~
Oh wells, previously I told you that I love the engineering block de classroom de BIG table. However, I dislike the smell of the classroom. Smells so like urine!! The other day when we went in, OH MY GUT! (pronounce it) the smell was like overwhelming. And we couldn't take the smell so we opened the front door of the classroom to let some smelly air to get out... And me and yanyan darling went to the toilet... And she took a empty tissue paper plastic and put the toilet soap inside... Almost the whole of the lecture, yanyan darling was like sniffing the soap smell like drug addicts like that... it was so funny... =DD During normal times, we normally dun find toilet soaps are nice-smelling but then today we felt the soap was so nice!! HAHA!~ SO FUNNY!~
Oh wells, the picture of the BIG SMELLY CLASSROOM. Almost vacant due to the NICE SMELL. LOL!~
The bad smell was too overwhelming that Jason did this....
*
But Friday night was a nice one. Because I slept from 8sth till morn 10 plus. But in the middle 1 sth, i did wake up and watch some tv. =X
*
I regretted.
I hate it.
I forgot what I wanted to say here.
I want to buy time.
I realized, I was...
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1:12 PM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
About Nehs (from A to ...), what does the alphabet stands for to describe the size and shape of nehs ...
A - Abnormal
B - Bo Cup (No Cup)
C- Concave / Convex
D - Delicious (with a delicious look)
E - Enormous
F - F*cking Big (MUHAHA)
G - Goodness me
H - Huge
I - Impossibly Big / Irregular
J - Juicy
K - Kanasai (KNS)
L - Lumpy
M - Motherly
N - Natural
O - OH MY GOODNESS! OH MY GUT!
P - Petite
Q - Queen Size =x
R - Rough (HAHAHA! LOL!!)
S - Small
T - Terrible
U - Uneven
V - (fill it up urself if your english is good)
W -Wonderful
X - Xiao (Small)
Y - Yoyo (bouncing up and down, quoted from yuyans darling) =x
Z - (fill it up urself if your english fantastically good)
This entry is supposed to be up during christmas or something.. so it's a super late de entry liaos... it's in a draft for so long... haha!~
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@2:24 PM
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Everyone have been stressed and kind of disorganised all of a sudden.
Wasn't having a really good day today, frankly speaking...
But somehow, we went thru' it...
*
Ever since I was born, other than my baby times and childhood times, I was never myself ever again.
I missed my old self.
Today, I gave a really deep thought about this issue. And I realized I haven't been myself for really long. And I'm kind of confused who am I now. I am not the LYY that I "should be".
All because, we are all affected by the environment, our friends, and everything.
We dun wish to affect other ppl, we dun wish to do this that hurts anyone... we dun wan to whatever whatever... and we tried to hide our emotions and words when we are feeling really fed-up inside...
Supposedly, I should be scolding "F off!", "Shut up!", "Whatever" with my eyes rolled and many other nasty stuffs in front of some ppl in the past. But I realized, I didn't.
Just care about that one thing.
Am I being sensitive in nature, or just care about pride, face?
I'm leading an irony life. Everyone is having this kind of life too, unknowingly.
Sometimes I envy those ppl who does anything and says anything in their way, not caring abt other ppl's feelings (if we were not to care about being sensitive de factor). It may be hurting but that's what we wanted to say to some people that we are really fedup with.
This world is just full of people with masks. We are all wearing it.
This world. SIGH.
Enclosed?
Insecurity?
Sensitive?
Straightforward?
I REALLY INSPIRE TO BE A GOLDFISH IN MY NEXT LIFE!!! SERIOUSLY.
Whatever it is, I wanna be a goldfish. MUHAHA~
*
Just some grumblings about life. Mood haven't been good. Where's my good moods?
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@7:55 PM
Monday, October 22, 2007
Who is this GENTLEMAN here, helping ahh xiia take her bag? =DD It's really obvious for our class to guess out who this "mysterious" person is... He normally wears the same jacket to schde worr...
It's closer... And should recognise this familiar jacket le... =DD It's so hard to take pic when this person kept turning back and I had to act blur when I try so hard to take a clear photo... haha!~
It was CK!!! HAHAHA!~ =DD He so "nice" right... hahahaha!~ Such an outdated pic... =X~
*
Just being random!!
I simply love my table now!!!~ =DD It's so much b i g g e r than the previous classrooms table la!! It's because that was an engineering block... then I tink the guys had to draw stuffs like that, therefore they needed larger tables *green with envy* SIGH. Not like our science block, typical tables. No creativity. *oops* HAHA!~
Here's the pic of the BIGGER table... But I just dislike the urine smell that's filled all over the classroom. That's the only thing that I couldn't tolerate. haha!~
The table. Trying to make the table look as big as possible... My laptop was also in the picture!! MUHAHA~~ My new water bottle and stuffs like that... hees! ^^. I love you, I mean I love the table. *clears the throat*
That was taken when we were doing our tutorial on the transparency. HAHA!~ Just random pics la!~
Normally we do tutorials, we slack de... When we have blank paper or even transparencies... That's what we normally will do... Trying to be lame and draw stuffs to deco the plain areas...
The other day, on Thurs. Went to KTV with my frens... Then hor, the place is darn big (The biggest I ever went in to sing..) Gt 2 tv lehs! SHIOK!! I totally fully made use of the tv because the other's de head kept on moving ard and I couldn't see the lyrics... therefore I looked at the tv above... woohoo!~ SHIOK!!! =DDDDD I wanna sing again... I really wanna try singing alone... =))
That's the end of the entry .
*
I noee why people like to say FROZEN HEART.
FROZEN HEART preferred to be frozen to protect and seperates itself from the environment. Frozen looks cold and unapproachable. Frozen makes your heart numb, numb from all feelings.
Yes, I need a FROZEN HEART too, with a secure lock.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1:24 PM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Haven't been blogging.
Because sch had Staff retreat on both Thurs and Fri, therefore we are all free from sch!! =))
On Thurs, went out with more than half of the class!! (10 ppl neh!) HEES. =DD We made use of the promotion going on in kbox. That's the cheapest price I had paid for kbox seh ($7!) HEES. Love the singing, love the fun that day.
After singing, went to take neoprints all squeezed into the same pictures! =)) That was fun too!~
Then after that, some ppl went off for their own stuffs while the rest went to shop at Heeren for SOMETHING. haha!~ LOLS. Then later, camii left. The remainings went to shop ard the Orchard area until leg pain liaos. Had lots of fun together with yuyans darling when we went to find somewhere to sit while the others shop the "high ends" SHOP. HAHA!~ LOLS.
=DD Then ended our trip at KAP de mac there!~ =D
*
As for yest afternoon, i went out alone to do some stuffs. *grins* then later went out with my mum and jiee to west mall to have dinner and shop. =)) Had a really full dinner At Sakae! =D And I ate duno how many plates of my fav le! =))
*
I love Tyra Banks. I love American's Next Top Model.
I love Xing Guang Bang de Zhi Yao Wo Xiang Xin.
I love Nana Anime.
I love dark purple.
I love being happy.
I love to laugh for nothing.
I love being A to my close friends and family.
I love to be natural.
I love dearr, my close friends ard, as well as my classmates.
I'm grateful to have met them. =)) They added color to my life.
*
Many thoughts went through my mind while watching Nana anime.
Many people are still confused with love, like, lust and infatuations.
Many people forgotten the feel of being loved, and to love someone.
Many people are still single.
Many people are still tied together.
Have to learn to treasure someone before they are really gone. Don't look at them in a different and guilty light when you had done something hurting to them and left them.
*
I wish I could be a goldfish in my next life.
Despite goldfish lives in the boring same space and perhaps being alone...
Goldfish only has 3 seconds of memory.
Goldfish have perhaps the same thing to worry over and over again. But, after 3 seconds, they will forget everything and re-think once again.
They need not worry about money, career, relationships.
Sometimes, we just envy this and that.
I envy goldfish, for being so carefree and being so STM.
At least let me be someone who forgets unhappy memories the fastest.
*
Believe the Reason.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@2:12 PM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Had a really bad day.
I regretted...
The memories came back...
I'm so lucky that I didn't see any EVEN MORE HURTFUL and HEARTBREAKING stuffs about this person.
I'm relieved that we acted as if we don't know each other despite we knew very well that we saw each other.
Seeing the person's shadow is simply just so saddening. How this person left me.
*
When you decided to go first (and get to another bus stop)from the same bus stop, then you realized that person that you dun wish to see also alights at the same bus stop (just that we both took the different bus)... that's the most embarrassing and saddening part.
It's similar to you letting go of this relationship first, but later that person realize you still couldn't let go of that relationship when you still chose to let go coolly.
*
What a saddening one.
*
Chose not to write in details because I'm afraid I will be reminded,
AGAIN.
*
Stop hurting my pride, tink about my feelings alright. Stop making my day bad.
I need a sleep. to forget everything that happened.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9:10 PM
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Still cannot put up down.
*
Today sch finally started "officially"; I finally met up with my whole class liaos!! MISS THEM LOTS!~
HAHA. Had some fun with them!~ =D
This time we studying at Engineering Block! Looking forward to bio-ing shuai ges..!! HAHA!~
XD
And I saw 70% alike de Jay Chou at SIM canteen! OMG! He's so alike, except that he likes to make some funny face that made me always burst out laughing. haha!~ He's quite manly when he's serious la. HAHA!~ Still cannot take it when I rmb his funny face. haha!~ Next time see him cannot burst out laughing le, because he rmb me =x. LOLS~
Gtg lers. =)
Take care ppl!~
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:25 PM
Monday, October 15, 2007
How long is it going to be.
When am I able to pluck up the courage to give up.
It's because I knew we are once possible, so now it's so hard to give up.
I dun wish to see you.
I dun wish to contact you.
I dun wish to hear or see anything about you.
Break off everything about you.
Just forget about me, and I will forget about you. Okay?
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@6:28 PM
Saturday, October 13, 2007
MY WORK FINALLY ENDED!!!!! *CHEERS*
HERE ARE THE PHOTOS LONG-WAITED!~
Random photos taken while working on the last few days. =))
*
This is the place where labels are being typed and printed out. =))
Taken this pic from the reception counter there!~
Cashier Counter! I simply loved the design. Creative enough, even though it's kind of commonly seen as money sign ($) but no matter how, it makes the cashier counter more approachable with that $ sign. lols~ I kind of laughed over the Ca$hier counter. lol!~
Tell you, I really regretted not making full use of my locker for this one month plus time. Other than putting my bag during my working time, my locker is actually empty. I should have put some tidbits la, whatever stuffs inside and stuff the locker to the fullest since the locker is free-of-charge (providing we didn't lose the key la! =x)
TADALAFIL!!~ CK CK!!~ Are you excited? LOL!~ Here's your brother. LOL!
I took a picture of your sworn brother or whatever brother la. lols~ =DD HEES. (it seems like I'm very free yar?)
The drawer full of water bottles. Mine cannot be seen because covered by the file. lol!~ =D I gonna miss pushing the drawer open and close. lols~ =X
Justin kor kor (c.u.m Dinosaur, c.u.m ah pek, c.u.m zun zai (accurate kid), c.u.m Justina, c.u.m... omg! a lot more nicknames of him!) gave a peace sign when we requested him to do so. Thanks worr!~ =DD HAHA! He was doing Controlled Drugs btw. LOLS~ There's one more cupboard inside one big cupboard. SUPER COOL!~ =D I mean as in the cupboard cool. lols~
On the last day of work, one of the staffs there asked us to stock take the tablets. And this is what I counted. OMG! 4000 tablets! My eyes going cock-eyed lor! And I counted twice, together with xinyi (she counted another pile of tablets). lols~ And we counted other loose tablets too. =( Poor us! The staff made full use of us before we left seh! So notti!
UNCLE!!! THE CUTE Ba-chauo-mee uncle!! Do you believe I ate his noodles for at least more than 10 days CONTINUOUSLY? LOLS~ His noodle is nice de lor! =D HEES. And the uncle is super cute de!~ =DD He remembers me and Xin Yi because we were his regular customers (I'm more regular =P). One day, when Xin Yi long time nvr eat his stall food but then she appeared to eat with me again, uncle told Xin Yi that she had abandoned uncle liaos. Uncle very sad. LOLS~ Both of us burst out laughing at his cuteness. =) We love you, uncle! =DD HEES. Hope your business prosper!~ =))
Noodles time!~ =DD
Xin Yi and my share! On the left side, is Xin Yi's share. Right side is mine! One showing kena mixed and another untouched still. lols~
This two pics are RELATED! Nifedipine, one of the drugs. I made a joke out of it. Both are of the same names of different strengths. I told Xin Yi this joke, "You see this, when Nifedipine is not happy that you can't see him/her, it appears to be called Nifedipine LA. Nifedipine buay song liaos. NIFEDIPINE LA, CAN'T SEE IS IT!"
Sometimes labels that we need to paste can be as long as this..... can you imagine that?
Nice flower at B1. LOL!~ RANDOM PHOTO!
Everyday we have to walk this long long way to Kopitiam and Pharmacy there. We at least walked this route for at least 44 times. This route is still very long, esp. when you are going to be late for anything. lols~
This is the place where Xin Yi and I go chiong and buy waffles after work and we share share the waffle together!! =)) Gonna miss the chocolate and peanut butter crispy waffle there!~ =D
LAST DAY OF WORK, I tried to make full use of my locker and stuffed all the books and my bag inside this "small locker". LOL!~ There were 6 sets of books that I have to carry along with me, so ya... lols~
Seeing me taking picture of my FULL locker, Xin Yi requested to take a picture of her FULLY MADE USE LOCKER TOO!! =DD And we placed our peace hands there!~ =D
The Pharmacy motto and stuffs like that at the entrance of the Main Pharmacy. =)) I used to sit there and rot when I having my 1 hr break.
I gonna miss pressing and playing with this Card Access thing. I always get very high and feel very cool when I pressed the correct password for my access card and the door open! =)) Feel so high, duno why. lols~ =DD I miss my access card! =( HEES. When I press the password, I feel like I'm sms-ing on my current phone. Flat flat de. lols~
These are the stacks of prescriptions that we have to pack for. It's the first time seeing so many prescription and we had no time to even count the prescription. We just continued packing and packing....
Our efforts done and waiting for the Pharmacists and Pharmacy Techinicians to dispense the drugs to the patients one by one. It's a lot lor!
This is at another queue de. Normally this has got lesser baskets. It's normal.
Random pic of a drug.
Another time of UNCLE JUSTIN! He's actually 25 years old only! But we call him uncle (because we always bully him and he dun seem to retort back at us! So, muhaha *grins*)
This was taken really quickly when he was making a call to the doctor. LOLS~ His position changes rather often and previously me and Xin Yi already realized the way of his standing style (but still we couldn't imitate his style) and HENG HENG I brought my hp along on the last day, so I happened to take this picture quickly before he fidgets again! MUHAHA! We burst out laughing after taking this picture!! =)) Look at his standing position. It's darn funny in real!
MY ACCESS CARD (password covered)
My injury while taking the 6 sets of books to work. My left hand now has got a red percentage there. So funny and such a coincidence.
SILDENAFIL!~ CK!~ HAHA! Give you surprises here and there!!~ HAHAHAHAHA!~
The door that only opens when you gt password. Or "call" the ppl inside to open the door for you.
The labels that I stole from the pharmacy. LOLS~
Who says 18 years old is not a child anymore and cannot celebrate children's day or get any presents on this day? I got this present from my mummy unexpectedly!! That's my children's day present leh! =))
TEMP STAFF TAG and my LOCKER KEY!~
*
TODAY's TRIP TO BUGIS AND WEST MALL!~
=DD
The following picture is explicit. Therefore people below the age of 17, please do not try to peek at this picture...
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Explicit enough? Guess what is this? It is a mouse leh! OMG! I almost screamed outside the shop at BUGIS (*hints SOMEONE*) LOL!~ OMG!~ The clicks of the mouse are the boobs man! OMG!~ Guys will love this to bits man. WOOHOO!~ If the feel is also real, its even more OMFG. LOL!~ =DDD
Teriyaki Chicken Don, eating with jie =)) NICE~~~
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:52 PM
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Ever since you appeared from nowhere and affected my life adversely, you have been on my mind almost all day long.
I was reminded of the past memories.
The reason that haunted.
The blurness between us.
Till now, I still don't know why I cut the string when I hope this string to be longer so as to tie into a complicated knot.
Yi Lu Xiang Bei reminds me about you.
Qiang Si Qiang Si reminds me about you.
Zhen Ming Tian Zi reminds me about you.
I miss you, yet I had to pluck up the courage...
to give you up and say it straight to your face.
STOP IT.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:56 PM
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Today is a really fruitful day for me .
*
Went to Bukit Batok swimming pool nearby de HushPuppies Warehouse Sale. The sun is scorching hot, darn it (oops). And the warehouse is w/o aircon de! ='( And I was sweating all the way when I was shopping and complaining. I bought nothing from that place because the stuffs there not up to my liking. If not, the size is not for me. =(
Then I suggested we shop at Jurong Point! =DDD *grins widely*
Took taxi to Jurong Point and straightaway went to eat at Pizza Hut! =D Ate Rosemary Chicken Pizza and Cheese Fondue, while admiring myself in the mirror (because I was sitting in front of the mirror) LOL!~ I can't help it even though I dislike looking into the mirror. LOL!~ Today's rare.
=DD
In the middle, many things happened. lols~ I bought sanitary pads too and the THIN plastic bag was like so obvious and it feels kind of weird carrying obviously sanitary pads in my hand... so I suggested I wanted some other plastic bags... So, my jie took out a red big plastic bag, and I dumped the thin plastic bag into the red big plastic bag... and I tied a knot and started walking... then I gradually looked down, and realized it looks darn toot walking ard with this (my mum and jie burst out laughing non-stop when I told them I really looked toot with this stupid red bag). Then, my mum took out another small plastic bag with SINGAPORE LOGO in front. Then I dumped everything into the bag. lols~ Then I gave a sigh of relief because I dun look weird and toot anymore. lols~ When I finally gt the nice nice bag that I bought from some shops then I dumped every single thing I bought into that nice bag for cover (acting as if I had totally forgotten abt the incident I mentioned earlier). MUHAHAS~
Tired, took cab home. Different cabs ard with different pricings now. =)) Now also gt auto de cab liaos!! =DD
*
Now I understand their troubles .
I gave in to them .
But in turn, I was hurt by them .
I don't know when am I going to stop giving in to them .
I don't know why I always meet this kind of person .
Am I so . . .
Should I change?
*
Secrets untold .
Memories unfold .
It's . P A I N .
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:23 PM
Friday, October 05, 2007
Am I living a world that seems too realistic to me, or is the tv programmes a little too idealistic and dreamy?
.
I miss him, badly, really really badly.
You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:59 PM
