Wednesday, April 30, 2008



I shall blog before I forget all the feelings I'm going through right now...

*

I'm so not in the right mood now. Cried silently for numerous times while watching tv. So easily touched and influenced today. And I simply hate it.

Now I clearly understand how people can be at the edge of life and feel like ending their meaningless life. I have this thought today again.

I'm just so bad at it.

Now I clearly understand how bad it feels when you are on the bus, and you had to keep your emotions and refrain your tears from falling or even looking obvious. The feelings just seem so overwhelming when the stupid song blast in my ears. I just couldn't resist my hands from clicking on the song. *curses in the head*

So sorry to all those people that I messaged, I wasn't in the clear mind when I messaged. Too many things happened.

*

Promises hold no meaning to me.

Now I know what the sour feeling up at your chest is named as.. It's called...

H E A R T . A C H E .

It feels kind of sour and a little pain here and there. And tears just flow effortlessly.

I hate to think of all those things continuously and make myself more and more miserable.

It's as if things around you are real, when it's actually not.

It's as if people around you treasured you, when they actually don't.

*

What's funny was that, my mum didn't noee I was really in a down mood, and she still called me to cook dinner for the both of us. And I ended up crying in the kitchen when my mum happily watched tv in the living room.

*

I longed to go MARINA OPEN SPACE ONE DAY, ALONE.

I want to go clear my thoughts and get on with life.

I wish I'm not a girl. If not, I want to be transparent just for the day when I go marina open space.

*

I somehow had this feel that it won't happen ever again. It's just another one time, and that's it.

*

Now I know it feels really bad keeping all the things by myself. I just hope tears can clean away what is supposed to.

*

I'm not talking about you.

Side effects of the drug : Addiction, disappointment

Extra note : If one don't take another dose for very long, the drug addiction will slowly diminish with time.

*

Nothing is definite in life.

.
.
.
.
.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@7:40 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2008



I cried so badly.

*

Whatever.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:20 PM

Monday, April 28, 2008



I missed my dose for so many days.

*

I still don't know my feelings towards you. Sometimes I feel comfortable, sometimes it was just somewhere here and there.

I'm looking forward to Mondays.

Just let it continue.

*

Alternatives?

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@4:39 PM

Sunday, April 27, 2008



Oh wells, life has never been this "interesting" before... (I'm being sarcastic) LOL!~

But then in other part, it's getting more and more interesting (oh yes, I'm contradicting myself! =x)

Have been watching shows and crying over it when my mum wasn't a tingle bit touched by it. I said she cold-blooded. haha!~ But her reason was logical so I forgave her. haha! I was just too sentimental la! HAHA!~ I emo ppl mahs, no choice. hahaha!~

I silently cried tonight in front of the tv... then I told my mother this which she found it funny (so rare)..

"Mummy, our house de watertap spoiled liaos... call someone to come repair leh.." (Water tap refers to me! HAHAHA!~) LOL!~

Then she hahahaha away. lol!~

*

I had this nice dream of the real feels. omg. I want it again. Gua gua. LOL!~

The feel is so real. SO REAL.

WOOHOO!~

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:45 PM

Saturday, April 26, 2008



900th post!

That new Superhero movie is vr funny!! HAHA! I burst out laughing for quite a few times until my mum scolded. =x~ But I tink this movie shld be at least NC16, due to its language. haha! XD

It's rather lame but it's funny. muhahaha!~

*

I regretted watching it because it made me miss you even more.

I love the thrills. I love the private moments too.

*

This is my moment. This is my perfect moment with you... with you~

*

Courage, please.

Wait for the day.

*

I still considering whether to propose this a not...

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@7:59 PM





Men are not women, men cannot understand fully on how women feel...

Women are not men, women cannot understand fully how men feel...

You are not me, I'm not you... so we cannot understand each other fully too...

*

It was just a protective mechanism that everyone saw through.

*

That wasn't what I really wanted from you... but I could understand how you feel...

*

I watched Blood Type B Boyfriend for the second time, I still cried, despite crying less. But still cried. sigh. hahaha!~ I'm just so sentimental. F man. lol!~

*

I'm afraid I will be like that too. But I couldn't pluck up the courage to do it... because it's just so not me.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@5:24 PM

Thursday, April 24, 2008



Listening to Mambo No.5... initially I felt kind of high... but then after some time, I felt nothing. I don't know whether was it because of my mood or because the memories had already faded.

This song was really meaningful to me, it reminded me of my primary 4 times (so specific right). For my primary 4 de crush! HAHA!~ XD But forgotten why this song le. haha!~ nvr mind, heck care!! =P

*

Still trying to look for evidence that I had said this in the past... but then I still couldn't find... probably I deleted it le... =(

*

I still got your smell.

*

Will people remember how they felt after they hugged someone?

I vaguely remembered three main types of feelings that I will feel.

One is a dreamy kind of feel. It feels kind of erm, not that kind of "sweet" but just erm, dreamy. And oblivious of the environment and feels kind of out of the world like that. That's why it's dreamy. And it's VERY ADDICTIVE. Comfortable kind of hug la.

Two is normal kind of feel. It just oh, comfortable. Like fren-ny find of hug la. Like how I usually hug my god-brothers and god-sisters and my frens and blahs... haha!~ It depends on that person's hugging style. May be addictive. But then it's like... you noee that you are hugging that person IN REALITY, but then first one is like, omg. DREAMY KIND OF HUG. It's as if both of us dun exist on this world when we hug... haha!~ XD

Three is disgusted kind of feel. I hardly feel this kind of feel. Even though hugging experience are normally good, but then there are still times when you hug someone, then you felt disgusted. The disgusted kind, I've already figured out the reason behind it. But it's a secret. Disgusted kind, I normally will not hug you for too many times. It's totally not addictive. If I hug you for more than three times, you are off this kind of feel. =)

LOL!~

I also don't know what kind do I belong. But for sure, I belong to the bony group whrby ppl hug me, they feel bones and feel painful sometimes when my bones poke into their flesh. haha! I was just exaggerating! HAHAHAHA!~

*

Greedy.

I regretted.

*

You are really insensitive.

You still don't know what's my answer to your question.

It's a yes.

*

I hate

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:25 PM





Cravings...

You lor!

*folds my arms*

*

But still, you are gone.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@6:45 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2008



When night comes, a strange kind of feeling come towards this person...

This person was right in guessing why another person cried...

That kind of craving, it will fade off one.

*

But seriously, I hate this kind of myself. I felt like shit. LOL.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9:39 PM

Tuesday, April 22, 2008



I cried.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Just feel kind of sad and emo for the tv programme. SIGH.

='(

Oh wells, I cried straight after I had my dinner man. Oh darn it. LOL!~

*

We have no promises for each other anymore. We are forever standing in between crossroads. We may just end here suddenly, or we may just continue on our journey all of a sudden too. No one knows.

Even us.

We just will be by each other's side whenever we could.

I don't know if it was a promise or not. Probably yes, probably no.

The secret remained hidden.

Secret code established.

That's just us.

All thanks to you.

*

MUHAHAs away.

Dun care me, I'm just crazy.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:48 PM

Monday, April 21, 2008



*looks at my wet bed*

Not that I bedwetted, it's because the rooftop leaked liaos! ='( Today rained really heavily, and I was kind of like surfing net... then later, I heard water dripping sound, then I looked at my bed, it's wet... wah kaox! Btw, only my room leaked ok! =(

But other than that, I'm VERY, VERY HAPPY TODAY! =DD

Because not only the class in the morning was cancelled, and I could slack my way through for 2 straight hrs, I saw so many shuai ge-s today! OMG! That's my luck man! WOOHOO!~ HEES. And some stuffs happened la!~ HAHA!~ Dun make me happy leh! HAHAHA!~

Oh wells... LOL!~

=DDDDD

*imitates the happy emoticon skipping away with a cute wide smile*

wee~

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9:40 PM





*grumbles*

My class is cancelled suddenly! Until I came to school outside the room door then I saw the sudden notice. My tutor is on sudden medical leave. Oh wells, hope she get well soon! Then I have to slack all the way from 9 plus to 12 until the others are out for lunch! I will be like so lonely! Luckily I brought laptop today! Or else I will be bored to death, I swear! HAHA!~

Sigh, I dragged myself up from the bed so forcefully, then now the class is cancelled. SIGH, no choice. =(

*

Goes off playing games. wee!~

*

Talk to me, talk to me!! MUHAHAHAHA!~~ XD

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:14 AM





3 guys and 1 girl record .

*pls dun tink A ok!*

nothing A about this.

*

muhaha-s off*

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@12:17 AM

Sunday, April 20, 2008



Haven't been blogging because have been going out lately.

Bought another two office top for attachment but just realize one was too big for me to wear when I reached home and watched myself in the mirror. But never mind, I will still wear it anyway. At least that top make me looks fat for a while. haha!~ =D

*

Happy these days despite having related nightmares. But then, oh wells.

*

I don't know if possibilities continue but then just like that bahs.

We will all...

yah...

*

Looked at it openly, not emo at all. =))

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:34 PM

Saturday, April 19, 2008



Many days nvr blog le. was very busy and tired with attachments at NUH.

Thurs and friday after attachment, I went out too, so when I reached home, it's like darn tired. Thurs went to find shoes from Jurong Point to IMM (thx for yuyans darling for pei-ing me). Friday went to Orchard Popular to find sales (but I bought totally nothing).

*

I think I blog shorter and shorter. haha!~ I tink slowly I wun blog liaos... muhahas!~

*

18th April 2008 . M A R K E D .

*

No sorries anymore, I'm tired of hearing it from you. I felt happy, seriously.

Thx for fulfilling my impossible dream that I never thought it would ever happen. muhahahahahaha!~ Is happy de lor!

but nvr mind, gam ah!

I'm not addicted to the poison too, so yup. I'm still fine! =))

*

Dun click .

Dun match .

Dun see .

Dun touch .

Dun blahs .

*

Be careful with what I say.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@10:18 AM

Tuesday, April 15, 2008



Second day of sch.

No highlights. beri sians.

The day feels so long and tired.

*

Dun tink that u r so perfect, so gd. Actually you are not. You are just like the other normal people. You have your flaws too. Dun act like you are a good person.

I hate ppl who act like one.

Because my bad thoughts about you is back.

u give me what, i oso give u wadd la!

*

Reality.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@9:06 PM

Monday, April 14, 2008



Today is the first day of school, which was my IS day.

At first was World's Perspective, no one in the same class as me at all. The lecturer feels like my youngest auntie from my mother's side. haha!~

Then in the afternoon, went to eat with classmates and then went for Human Comm. from 1-3. The lecturer is auntie lai de. lalala!~

*

Can I not miss you?

Can I not mind?

Can I not think of you?

Can I not... whatever...

*

Look forward to seeing you, still.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:19 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2008



Yup, it's always a time when I change my blogskins. I will have a time when I will change my blogskin.

The previous blogskin was simple and I love it for its simplicity, but it's time to change. I couldn't find one until I saw a couple of them and then I chose this. Not because I'm a fool NOW, but in the past or probably LATER. haha~

*

Yesterday was a plain mahjong day. In the afternoon, played mahjong for hours and then at night watched mahjong movie. Siao eh. lol!~

*

I dreamt of you. I was still as scared as ever but then I didn't know that I like what you are doing to me. *sounds so A*

Now, then I know...

you are a great impact on me.

*

Sch starting tml. darn. i dun like.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@12:30 PM

Saturday, April 12, 2008



FRIDAY (11/4/08)

Today went for NUH orientation for third year attachments there. Seriously I still don't know where exactly is the place. GUA GUA GUA. LOL!~ Nvr mind! Me and my partner shall get lost together! muhahaha! XD

Alrights, then after orientation, went to have a lunch tt didn't fill my stomach to full. And then took bus to Vivo (again, oh wells) and bleahs. Then reached Vivo liaos, shopp shopp!~ HAHA!~ I duno I went to find seats to sit down for duno hw many times le. As long as I have the chance to sit, I will just sit for as long as I could because I was wearing heels. Oh gosh. It's painful and pressure-ful. HAHA! Then went to have dinner at Pasta Mania. Then went to shop bleahs. Went up to the outside Vivo there and talk!~ muhahaha! Played Truth or Dare. HAHAHAHA!~ And another stupid game that made me all confuse-d. LOL!~ Even when I didn't do it, but I look like I did something! =( HAHAHAHAHA!~ Nvr mind, I still had some fun la!~ HEES. =DDD

Then hor, took 963 last bus back home. =)) Reached at 12 plus. gua gua gua.

alrights. nite ppl!~

*

you really don't have to. because i thank you as well. hahahahaha!~

*

was in utter shock.

*

dun wan sch start liaos! holiday continue!!!!!! =(

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@12:45 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2008



I'm turning into a auntie during this holiday! OMG!

Look for cheap stuffs!

Bargain!

Ask for extra stuffs!

OMG! I'm turning so auntie. But I'm enjoying my every single change. At least I'm making my money worth! HAHA!~ XD

*

We slowly learn.

*

Can you keep a secret, baby?

*

Shall I?

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:12 PM

Tuesday, April 08, 2008



Today went to tiong to cut my hair with my mum despite it poured so heavily. =X

After cutting hair, went to shop the changed tiong bahru plaza (because we haven't been there for long and we heard there were drastic changes at tiong, so we decided to shop and see the changes. We were stunned at the changes though! HAHA!)

Met one of my secondary school teacher, Mr Heng (my previous art teacher, is it art, dearr?) LOL!~ He's still as nice as ever! HAHA!~ Oh wells. Another charming teacher in our school... hahah! Secondary school memories, sigh. haha!

XD

Will be going these few days too, to enjoy... haha!~ =DD

Bye peeps!~

*

Mustering all the courage.

*

I realized it was probably another repeat. Oh my god. I hope I was just kidding.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:22 PM

Monday, April 07, 2008



I wonder...

What will happen if another me exist in this world...

and is my best friend....

Omg, I think I will love her to bits man. Or probably the opposite I don't know? But there will be times when I love her to bits (omg, I'm talking about myself. That's weird)

She will be someone whom I can talk to, over everything because I can trust her. And then she's open to me too. Whenever I want a silent friend, she can be one. Whenever I need a listening ear, she can be one. Whenever I want to crap, she will crap and joke with me.

That means whatever I want, she will do it with me. How nice. =))

Because very often, other people cannot fulfill or see what we are feeling and continue to do things that irritate and upset our feelings. So it may be good that ourselves can exist for each other. =)

I think I going abit psycho liaos. haha!~ I shall stop it. lol!! =D

*

Left with one week and school is going to start. Gosh. It's fast. LALALALA~~

=(

Gonna miss you lots.

I hope I can still talk to you online. If possible. =)

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@11:50 PM

Sunday, April 06, 2008



Went to ah xia galfren de house to play mahjong with the others then went to Vivo to shop and have dinner. =))

*

At least still grateful that we are just in touch.

*

I miss chatting with you...

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@1:16 AM

Saturday, April 05, 2008



4/4/08 (Friday)

Today went out to collect stuffs and then in the evening went to meet up with FABS gang at Anchorpoint. Then we went to Vivo to shop and eat dinner. We had dinner at the top outside leh! SHIOK!~ Romantic de lor!~ WOOHOO!~

*

Oh man, I miss you lots. Today never manage to talk to you. =( Tomorrow must talk to you!!

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@12:59 AM

Friday, April 04, 2008



It's after 12 le.

Yesterday morning went to pray for the Qing Ming thing. Then after that, because all forgotten about visiting ah ma at TTS Hosp until I reminded them (when we ard our house area). Then we really went back to TTS Hosp to see my ah ma. Then settled lunch at there. After that, went home.

At night, went to eat Sakae Sushi.

*

I don't know what's our future but at least let the nature take its own course.

*

I miss you leh, seriously.

*

Hope dearr feel better.

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@12:28 AM

Wednesday, April 02, 2008



I wonder which idiot invented April's Fool Day. This year is probably one of the lucky years when I dun kena any tricks from anyone I love and treasure.

Tell you, I hate all kinds of pranks, tricks (except for magic tricks of course) and many other bad stuffs done on me. I just hate it big time. I also dislike doing such kind of things to any of my friends or even strangers unless I'm forced to (with a valid reason). I hate being tricked or pranked. Not a very good feeling at all. It's not friendly to me. And I normally are not friendly to those ppl who did a prank on me. I don't, seriously.

This year's April's Fool Day, I chose not to go out AT ALL, try not to answer or reply (unless impt stuffs) to anyone. And yesterday, I did not ONLINE AT ALL!~ WOOHOO!~ I closed all kinds of possibilities. So if you wanna trick me through sms, better think twice. YOU WILL REGRET.

And this year I'm clear from all tricks!! WOOHOO!~ So happy yesterday! Because I spent whole 6 hrs reading a novel until 12 plus and then went to slp at 2 sth... haha!~

*

But today not in a good mood now.

Went to sch for discussion, then ltr I went to IMM myself. Shopped the whole of Watson, Guardian, D & C and Daiso. HAHA!~ I can name it liaos. And then I went home by myself. woohoo!~

*

So just get away.

*

GO AWAY GO AWAY!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!!!

You are the culprit!!

You've got the poison, I've got the remedy.
@8:15 PM

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