Apple a day keeps the Dr. away

I love that my kids make way healthier choices than I do.

Thinking out loud...

SO....As I have been trapped inside my house this whole week with sick kids and this month has pretty much been a celebration of sickness, I find myself thinking way too much. It could be the fact that I am pregnant, but my emotions have been a little out of control lately. I have found myself crying randomly at stuff on TV or looking at my kids a certain way or thinking about certain moments in my life. It MUST be the hormones because normally I have a black heart. (Or say some people say...) But here are a few things I have been thinking lately:
-I have no friends. I mean I have some amazing friendships with some amazing people, some that are states away, but I still feel friendless. I could literally go weeks with out anyone ever calling me. I say this not to feel sorry for myself, but to wonder why this is? I am a homebody that is for sure and I love being by myself. But, sometimes I dream of friends like in ya ya sisterhood where they are my best friends we do everything together and we even grow old together. What would it be like to have a girls night out...with the girls? (Shelly and I went to dinner and the mall one night and I got a glimpse of what life could be like.) I am at a point in my life where I feel like this will happen less and less.
-I feel trapped. With Randy being gone all the time I feel like I miss out on a lot of things. I was SO spoiled living in Texas across the street from Lacey where if I needed something she would just help me, and my Dad and Cindy would just take Jay for the weekend. Oh, what would that be like? I feel like we are totally missing out by not living anywhere near our parents. I guess it rubs it in my face more because here in Utah everyone and their dog has family around and don't seem to find any problems doing what ever they want. My fam here has been more than generous in watching my kids, but I feel so guilty about it. Twice this week Kevin has come over to watch the kids so I could do some piddly errands (So I didn't have to drag around Jay/Pneumonia boy all over town) like picking up medicine or parent teacher conference. I feel so grateful for those moments of so badly needed help.
-I don't feel like I am enjoying the journey. Is it bad that I just want to fast forward to when this baby is about 12-18 months old and I can have a life again. I can have my body back, run everyday and accomplish goals. I feel guilty for not enjoying every moment I have this precious baby inside me. I want to sleep, I want my back not to hurt and I want to feel not like a crazy person all of the time. I am fully ashamed to say that knowing how many hours were spent on my knees pleading with the Lord to send me his precious children.

That is just a start...you know how my mind could go on for hours. The rest I will keep inside for now.

Jenners

Jensen loves to pull out her hair ties and run wild like a crazy person. We like to call her Ace. What do you think...TWINS! Randy and I joked that we knew what her Halloween costume for this year will be. Boots and a tutu, that's easy!

Crazy

This was such a crazy day. The weather was snowing off and on total freezing. Cousins came over to play. We were like sardines in my little house. Lacey and Seth took the older kids sledding at the school by my house. They were all having a great time when suddenly they were hit with a huge snow/hail storm and the kids were getting pounded. They all started crying simultaneously. Lacey and Seth piled the kids on the sled and covered them with there jackets and dragged them all the way home. The kids were beat red and were whining for hot chocolate. They soon got over it, warmed up and began playing as usual. 

Pics:

-Look at all those kids

-Owen fast asleep during the whole thing

-All the sisters just happen to all were black... 

-Jenny and Jane playing

-Ashley and Jane

18 Weeks Prego

16 Weeks- Recovering from sickness but pregnancy wise feel good.
17 Weeks- All I want is fruit. Peaches...mmmm...give me peaches. Starting to feel the baby move but no major movements. The baby feels really far back. Like, next to my spine. I am curious to see what the ultra sound will look like and if we will get a good view.
18 Weeks- I think I have had a bowl of ice cream every day this week. The sweet doesn't sound good, just the dairy. I know I should be eating yogurt instead, but why when ice cream makes me so happy. I don't want to get on the scale on my next visit. Boo. Knock on wood, but no head aches, numbing or sciatic pain yet.

Snow Day

 I love that it says no stopping any time...whoops.

 On the drive up..

 I love frosted white trees and these were gorgeous!

When the Whitworths were here, we took a day and went up the canyon. We had plans to go sledding, but soon realized it was way too icy. So, we stopped at Vivian park and played for a while until we all froze to death. Then we went to McDonalds and let the kids run wild. The weather sure was weird this Christmas.

Temple Square

 Well, we didn't make it to TS before Christmas, things were just to crazy. So, we went a few days later and it was still super crowded. The lights were beautiful as always and the weather wasn't bad. The kids did OK considering all the walking and we only had a few meltdowns.

Jentsy at 18 months

Before I forget...

*This is her normal tantrum state.
Jensen at 18 months:

Weight 21.34 lbs. 10.69 %
Height  32 in         61.93%
Head   18.34 in     52.02 %

She is now almost 19 months, I have been really behind. The doctor was surprised at the growth spurt she had. Hopefully she will be a tall girl. He is not worried about her weight because she has always been "light." We have stopped giving her bottles and she is still drinking milk so that is a total bonus. She is still completely crazy in every way. She has developed this love of hitting which has become a little bit of a problem. (She thinks it is funny.) She loves to throw things especially when she doesn't get her way. She is always quick to offer kisses afterwards, which tells me she knows EXACTLY what she is doing. She is so sassy and stubborn just like...Randy. :)

Christmas

Christmas was so much fun this year. Lacey and Seth drove up from Texas and were able to stay the week. It was difficult at times with the lack of space and room for the kids to play but we some how managed. Christmas morning was so fun. Santa brought Jay a Lego city, Jensen a play steering wheel, Abby a bike and Briggy a potato head. The kids were so excited. Abby wouldn't come down the stairs at first because she thought that Santa was down stairs and that was a little more than she wanted to handle. Jen and Briggy didn't really know what was happening. I think one of the funniest gifts was a magic set that Randy and I got him. He was SO into it. Thank goodness for uncle Seth showing him how to do so many tricks. The kids made out so good. It is weird when you become a grown up how excited you get for the kids. Fro breakfast we ate left over cinnamon rolls and then rode bikes outside for a while in the freezing air.

Christmas Eve

Lace and Briggy

We got together at my cuz Tiffiany's house for some fun. We had some of the best food ever. My Aunt Dana made some of the best cinnamon rolls I have ever tasted. I swear my family knows how to do food the right way.

Abby and Boston

 Lacey played a few hundred rounds of ring a round the roseys with the kids.

 Falling down is the best part

Kelly made ginger bread houses for all the kids to decorate. The LOVED it.

Abby ate more then decorated. Temptation was just too strong.

Pre-Christmas

 Lacey and Seth brought so much stuff it was hard to find a place to sit.

 This stool was the cause of many fights, but Jenny and Briggy did a good job of sharing.

 A rare moment of Abby passed out while the kids were watching a show.

 Grandma Jody reading a story to Jents.

 Jenny thinking she could be a boot angel.

Briggy thinking hard about life.

Jealous

Let me describe to you this last week. I HOPE none of you got this, but it will go down in my book as one of the greatest sicknesses EVER.
Randy said it best when he called it the "black plague." Because I tell you, it felt like death.

*Randy caught me mid sneeze...yeah I'm hot.

Last Saturday I woke up feeling decent. By midday I felt like someone had hit me in the throat with a baseball bat. The inside of my throat didn't hurt, but all the muscles around it did. (Had some one tried to choke me and I was unaware?) by that night I was SO tired I went to bed at like 7:00pm. The next morning I woke up with total stuffed up nose,sore throat and headache. I also started getting a low grade fever. I thought I could just take some Tylenol and sleep it off. (I can't take much more than that being pregnant.) That night was one of the worst nights of my life. My fever went up to 102.9 and when I breathed or coughed it felt like I was swallowing razor blades. And, because I couldn't breath out of my nose I pretty much had to endure the razors. I think I slept a total of 1/2 hour that night. I actually thought about 3 different times how I could just die and that would be better then the pain I was in. I was delirious. I just waited it out until I could go to the Dr. the next day. I wanted to see my OB so I knew the baby was OK too.
The Dr. gave me a quick antibiotic and the suggestions of what I could take...all not good enough seeing I wanted something to knock me on my butt for days. I looked SO tore up. My eyes had deep circles, my face sunken in, red as red could be nose chapped from my rose to my chin. It was no pretty sight. (I am still way chapped.)
I went through 4 boxes of Kleenex in 4 days, a box of Day Quil and a small bottle of Tylenol. If I didn't take something every 4 hours exactly my fever would return. If I took a shower, my fever would return. (I still showered everyday don't worry.)
A few days later more symptoms started coming: I started coughing up green mucus, my ears would completely clog so I could barely hear a thing, I got a sinus infection, yellow fluid just pored from my ears and worst of all migraines. I had to hit the hard core drugs a couple times just to be able to walk upright.
Today I am far, far from better, but 100% better then I was a few days ago. I still am blowing my nose like crazy, have constant headaches and cough, a lot. And, you know what happens when your pregnant with your 3rd and you cough, yeah, you pee yourself a little.
I am still on drugs, still not sleeping and have no energy...but I am alive!
I feel SOOOO grateful for Randy. He has been my rock. He had to take some time off and has been home the last 6 days to take care of the kids. He got up and got Jay ready for school and took him everyday, made his lunch, helped him with homework and what not and totally took care of Jenners. They were little buddies. It was really hard for him at first, but by day 4 he had a whole system going and every thing down. I was so proud of him. He is so grateful to have me back in the land of the living, and to be going back to work tomorrow where the job is only half as hard. :)

Baby oh Baby

*I started journaling about this when I found out I was pregnant...basically it is for my records, but help yourself :)

Randy and I have been thinking about another baby for quite some time. We have been sorta hesitant at the toll it would take on both of us. (The fact of not knowing if we could get pregnant or how long it would take.) We both prayed about it. I fasted and went to the temple. In July while at Randy's sister Laura's wedding, Randy felt inspired that it was time. I agreed whole heartedly with that. So, in August I went in to see Dr. Parker and had my IUD removed. At that time we discussed options of fertility meds and decided that we would stick with what worked last time, Femara. So I started the meds twice a day and did ovulation strips everyday. (We didn't want any body knowing we were trying because we didn't want any pressure.) So, at the end of the month I called the Doc back to up my meds because the strips showed that I didn't ovulate. I was fine this this because I knew it would take a while for my body to be in the right mode. So I waited it out until I started my monthly so I could start the second round of meds, 3 times a day.  Oddly enough nothing happened so I took a test just to make sure before I started on Progesterone. It was positive. I stared at the test FOREVER. What? How could this be? One month? It only took one month to get pregnant? I was in a state of shock and thought right away, "The test is wrong, I'll take another one." Positive.  I honestly could not except it. I think the reason being because before I had Jay and Jents I always had to go through some sort of refiners fire of trials and tribulation. It shouldn't be this easy, was it a joke? I almost felt like I was in denial. With the J and  J it was so incredibly devastating trying for years without any signs of hope. I still cannot put into words the feeling of knowing you are caring a special spirit and feeling so overwhelmed, humbled, grateful and undeserving all at the same time.


6 Weeks- Feeling tired all the time. Hungry every 2 hours. Haven't gained any weight yet, thank goodness.
7 Weeks- Sick, blah. So tired. I am SOOO tired. I think my belly is sticking out already. I think it is mostly bloated though. Tested positive for Strep B in my Urine test so I am now on Penicillin 4 times a day for a week. My tummy is upset constantly. Hungry every hour on the hour.
8 Weeks- Busy as a bee. Seems like something every day...I am SOOOO tired.
9 Weeks- Went to San Diego for a mini vacation. I did my best not to complain but all I really wanted to do was eat and sleep. I have gained probably 3-4 pounds.( My weight now between 147-148) My pants are snug and I already feel huge.
10 Weeks- Tragedy in the family with Jamie's death. I have never cried so hard in my whole life. Had to be on the go quite a bit. I think the added stress has taken it's toll. I had extreme cramps like a contraction. A little later on I started spotting. That night I woke up to blood everywhere. I woke up Randy and we called the doctor. He calmed my fears and told me to watch it and let him know. Luckily, although I still had cramps the bleeding had mostly stopped. I will go in on Monday just to make sure everything is OK. I didn't sleep a wink that night. I think I said a 2 hour long prayer. Randy and Kevin gave me a blessing and I feel calm, and that it is in the Lord's hands.
11 Weeks- Went to the Dr. and was able to hear and see a heartbeat through an ultra sound. He said the baby was only measuring 9 Weeks 5 days. Moved my due date to June 22, 2011. I still don't believe it. I have been record keeping like a Nazi. So, unless I found out the minute after conception I think something is up. Started bleeding again. Still worried...a lot.
11/12 Weeks- I will keep track this way now because I think I am 12 weeks and they (Dr.) think only 11. I am huge. I have gained a total of 5 pounds. It doesn't seem like much, but it sure feels like it. I go to the Dr. again tomorrow just to make sure that everything is OK. Still tired. Not so much sick if I eat every 5 min. I crave milk and orange juice and toast. Lots of toast.
12/13 Weeks- Well I went to the Dr. and they did find a heart beat, but it took a really long time. I was a little scared at first, but just tried to relax. I have been beyond tired this week. I think it is because I can't sleep at night. I always wake up at about 3:00am and can't go back to sleep. Still loving toast. I pretty much eat it 3 meals a day. Still about the same weight. Weighed 154 on the Dr. scale, but I never like to go by that because it was freezing that day and I had 3 layers of clothes on with a heavy sweater, that doesn't seem too accurate. I am still bleeding everyday. Just trying to listen to my body and pray everything will be OK.
13/14 weeks-Doing good. Slowly regaining energy. Still wake up in the middle of the night, frustrating. Have bad sinus issues this week. I haven't been bleeding for 5 strait days...I am hoping it stays that way. My pants are no longer fitting me.
14/15 Weeks-Christmas time. No sleep. Lots of fun with fam but completely exhausted. Help me.
15/16 Weeks- I think I have the black plague. I have never felt so bad in my life. Being prego I can't take anything. I told randy that if I died, to keep me on life support to incubate the baby. He didn't like the thoughts of raising the baby alone. But I told him not to worry he wouldn't have to nurse it. Went to the Doc and got some Meds...not enough...it's been 5 days now...stop the insanity!!!! (No longer having bleeding issues, for now.)

I promise

I promise I will be back to posting as soon as I get over what ever this bug I have is. I have soooo many pics to upload (from my new camera Randy got me for Christmas.) So be patient. As soon as I can see clearly again and don't have to take 4 different kinds of medicine to breath, I will post my little heart away....