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you know you love me.xoxo
My name is ANG.ZHILIN.Turning 18 this year.Loving heartofGodchurch and D5.studying in nyjc 0832! |
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Ouch! my ulcer hurts. i cant eat properly. uclers are irritating. they make me lose weight. how i miss my long hair. hahaha! but then i cant imagine if i have i have long hair again. hee. ironic. chinese new year is around the corner. no CNY mood. -.- but i have plenty of clothes to choose this year! HAHA! and pineapple tarts are all mine. HEE HEE. hopefully my ulcer will be gone. i can eat with no worries. bonjela is now my best friend. ohhh. how i miss secondary school life. how i miss the malay stall rice. how i miss the days that i dont do my hmk. oops. come on come on! stop slacking. gotta activate myself. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Never Before. went to the hospital to visit my uncle and grandfather yesterday night. didnt knew it will be so serious. thought my uncle only have some minor problems and had a minor operation. the nurse told us he was admitted into the ICU. i nearly faint on the spot. in dramas, ICU sound real serious. i never been to the ICU ward before. i went in and walk down the corridor, my eyes totally shocked me. seeing many of the patients, having tubes all over and bandages here and there. they looked fragile and weak. i could see the pain in their face even though they might be sleeping. my heart just froze. glad that im still able to jump and laugh. it is obviously totally different from what i see from the tv. the nurses and like forever busy. the doctors too. the place was totally quiet. i felt their agony. i cant imagine all the tubes all over me. i saw my uncle. the second time i feel like fainting. i thought i walked into the wrong room. he looked different. i will never walk into the ICU again. its scary. on the other hand, my grandfather looked okay. supposedly to be discharged today. school is still okay. will really miss P1 after i leave. =( late for school today. everything turns out to be so funny. im going on 17. thats fast. my life after 13 seems to speed up. CNY is coming. yeah! well, for so many years i really dont like going on house visitation. duh. this year is gonna be different. Bring me to my knees. 08A202(PAE) they are really great friends man! =) made PAE so much more enjoyable. hahaha!                                          As Light As Feathers we prayed together in valerie's house today. jieru came too! the fears and anxiety were washed away. hot tears dried up. i felt peace in my heart. the whole day was full of tensions+ laughter+ tears. what i see through my eyes now are different from a few hours back. went to mj in the morning. craze out with my class at white sands. we werent thinking of anything that time. haha! reached the school hall. dont know what i should feel. everything turn out to be unexpected. i should be happy for my results, at the same time, im sort of sad too. wee. im speechless. our school didnt do too well. but everything is over. i feel so light. like im gonna fly. i believe i can fly... Less Than 24 hours. 24/1/2008, 2pm. tomorrow is the release of O's level result. my mind is in a mess. worried and afraid. however, i cant hear my heart thumping. maybe tomorrow. my mind just runs. my heart is calm. im worried about myself being like this. cant imagine im sitting in the hall, waiting. feel like shouting out loud. few months back, i was waiting for this day, now, i hope it never comes. i cant sit still. i cant concentrate. i keep stoning. sheena and peiyun came and encouraged us. with the photos and the snack. so sweet! it gonna be the start of everything. let just pray. i can feel my heart. so heavy. THE START Stirring. Ignite '08 was fantastic! i love Pst Joakim! he is so cool, and and funny too! sort of busy over the weekend. what Pst Joakim preached has really stir up something in my heart. especially the last session of ignite. i dont wanna sit and do nothing anymore. i wanna carry the torch and run. run like i had never run before. it got to start right now. =) 24 hours never seem to be enough. but my geog teacher say it is no longer 24 hours but 24 hours and 1 minute per day now. lalala~ the frustration in me is gone. i wanna share. i wanna share. i wanna share. i know where im heading to. i know what i am doing. i know what i want. i wanna share. i wanna run. i wanna run. i wanna run. im small yet big. im His beloved and His servant. im seeking and finding. i wanna run. im so looking forward to the day. i see a near revival. with selfless faith... my first week of lectures ended. felt so bad. i slept almost every lectures. or i stone. i shall be a good girl from next week onwards and listen and study. =) anyway, had heart to heart session today. felt really impacted. Responsibilities. it stir something in my heart. i realise there is so so much things for me to learn and improve. many things is on my hand and sometime, am i responsible enough. i need to take a step out. step out to see and to do. God spoke clearly to me, their salvation is clearly also my responsible. im going in no matter what. God spoke to me; to give and to serve, with a humble heart. during service, the fear of the Lord did set in me. He is the biggest, nothing is bigger than Him. its a brand new year and i am looking forward to everything and anything that is going to happen. i know this whole year its gonna be different from the last one. a whole new level. on the way back home, plugged in my mp3 phone. a thought came into my mind and thats was what Pastor How said, it is worth everthing to go back right to the beginning when i first know Him. right from the start. the very first day. how i love to sing about You. i do not know what lies right in front of me now. but i want to continue walking down the road, together with You, Lord. wonderful day! i went to church today. hahahaha! zhenghui just told me on msn she also miss church alot! lynette is going to Australia with Pastors! so gooooooood! ohh man! put me in the luggage bag. haha! church is so empty. i went there around 11 plus till 1 plus. cause school started. awww. its alright. cant wait for every weekend to come. how lovely the children are. annlynn shared with me about children church service. how mature they are compared other children. how i love to bring my cousins here. ultimately, we should never lose our purpose. its all for God. what is more important than Him. who should i fear, no one but Him. who should i love the most, no one but Him. who should i worship, no one but Him. no others than Jesus Christ. lectures were super boring today! of course, timetable were super slack. after all the talks, all of us just went to Mac and eat. haha! the teacher very funny one leh. they know we will get out of side gate, so they station there. then we get out of front gate, no one there. dots! so we guang ming zheng da go out! haha! the lecturers' are like singing lullaby. plus the air-con is so shiok. i really feel like sleeping man. my brain is rusty! i cant remember alot of things that i studied for O's! ohh! how i love my timetable now. so slack. so free and easy. isnt that great! oh oh! things in mj not cheap ok. hahaha! more ex than prss. =P but im pon-ing school tomorrow. =Phaha! its just the second day. =P i really wonder if i am able to continue there. oh oh! something real amazing happened! its a secret! =D God never fails to surprise me. =D im so excited! but there is something i dont wanna be. 17 years old. that sounds old. hahaha! i mean for me, it sounds so not me. i got so many thing on my hand now. so happy! =D From The Inside Out A thousand times I've failed Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again I'm caught in Your grace Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame Your will above all else My purpose remains The art of losing myself In bringing You praise Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame In my heart and my soul Lord I give You control Consume me from the inside out Lord let justice and praise Become my embrace To love You from the inside out Everlasting Your light will shine when all else fades Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame And the cry of my heart Is to bring You praise From the inside out Lord my soul cries out Love Undeservedly. super red nose now. and chaota skin. =( im like trying to get fairer. and under the sun for only a few hours ruin my months of plan to become like snow white. i want to faint. im now charcoal. my timetable very slack leh. haha! good thing. because He love me. hey! today was the last day of orientation! its like super fun! everyone was super high. but i heard from KS, shuyi they all, its was actually considered dead compared to previous years. haha! anyway, yesterday was MMM. something similar to amazing race. wa. quite fun! the ending chiong into school man! then now leg is like so stiff and pain. haha! everyone is chiong from the bus stop, the overhead bridge then into school hall. then alot of teams reached. all cheering for everyone. haha! today was WET & WILD. i got sunburnt! red nose. and super pain also. im trying to like get fairer, now im back chaota again. but its fun! haha. everyone got wet! then almost the whole og when downtown to bathe and eat together! went back prepare for campfire. but it rain rain rain. so in the hall. the Meridian revival came back. Valerie Tock onwards man. haha! then supper with OG again. everywhr we go see MJ people. from pasir ris to tamp man. haha! sore throat now. i super miss church can. the whole holidays is so filled with church. now is like drawn out. haha! but everything was fun! go PHOBOS! hey! this is my first post of the year! New Year's eve service was fantastic. taking all of me for all of Him. stayed overnight in church. played ice and water! ok. childhood memories. then wa, too tired. vigorous exercise. haha! took photos. slack. until 6am plus, cannot take it. all knocked out. but there are some super energetic one. haha! then at around 8am crawl out of church and slept on the train. super funny. super fun. then went shopping with my mom. wa. super tired leh! i sleep my mother keep calling me to wake up. i said a while more, and then her a while is super short. -.- haha! but i still bought alot of things. but my mom keep saying its all for CNY. but not all! haha!! school starts today. wasnt supposed to start school but then got the first 3 weeks. super sian. but, Mad About You is on! come on man! |
