A Year In Review

As I sit here on New Year's Eve, I can't help but think about the past year.  I definitely have bittersweet memories.

January started off fairly boring.  Our New Years' plans were cancelled so we spent the night at home and if I remember correctly, I fell asleep before midnight.   By mid-month, we knew our beloved Kaly was sick again and the end of the month brought the most horrible heart break of losing her.  I can't believe she's been gone almost a whole year.  I still miss her terribly.   January also kicked off our third, and final, IVF cycle.  After taking some time away, we decided to try one last time.  If it didn't work, we'd have to accept our childless future.

February... Valentine's Day, DH's birthday and shots, shots and more shots.

March was the month of our ET.  Who knew how successful it would be?  And, on 6dp3dt, we got our magical BFP!

April Fools?  Yep, that's right.  We had our 6 week ultrasound on April Fools Day.  I also celebrated my 39th birthday in April and I remember asking myself, "Am I too old for this"?   At 9 weeks pregnant, I was already getting stares and glances at work so I spilled the beans and admitted to being "with child".

The Battle of the Weight Gain happened in May.  I wasn't gaining enough weight.  Bring on the milkshakes!  I also hit the 2nd trimester this month.  Wasn't I supposed to be feeling less tired at this point?  Highlight of the month?  Feeling the babies move for the first time!

Things are getting serious in June.  Baby names, nursery ideas and referrals to perinatalogists.  I also had my first (and thankfully only) pregnancy scare.

We're having a....  twins' gender reveal happened in July.

August was another heart breaker.  Our other dog Kobe got sick and we made the decision to put him down.  My baby shower was also this month and the babies got lots of goodies!  I was also diagnosed with a placenta previa and our annual beach vacation was cancelled.  It turned out OK though and allowed us to get some much needed prep work done around the house.

Phew, September!  One word describes my belly - HUGE! 

Ah, October.  The month when all the action happened.  My 2 little pumpkins arrived, allbeit unexpectedly.  While the month started joyously, it ended on a different note with my sweet Kendall in the hospital with bacterial meningitis.  Hands down the scariest night of my life.

November and so much to be thankful for.

And, last but not least, December.  Kendall back in the hospital for 3 weeks and not exactly the Christmas I always dreamed about.  But, she's home and both babies are healthy and life doesn't get better than this.

Wishing everyone a happy and prosperous 2010.  May all of your dreams come true in the coming year!

Homecoming, Round 3

My baby girl is coming home from the hospital today - finally!

Please let us NEVER see the inside of a hospital again.

Merry Belated

We're still hanging in there.  Kendall will be home from the hospital on the 29th.  That's 3 more days and it can't come soon enough.  We're all done with hospitals.

She's doing great and I think that's what is making it so frustrating.  We just want her home.  I'm tired of  seeing her being poked and prodded and I'm sure she's tired of it too.  She's been such a brave little girl through all of this and I think she's going to be one tough kid.

Christmas was fine.  The hospital opened up their visitor's policy and allowed all visitors for Xmas Eve and Xmas Day.  My family was able to visit Kendall on Thursday and then Todd's family came up on Friday.  It was a very nice gesture by the hospital and I'm sure the families of all the patients appreciated it as much as we did.

We've been spending every night with Kendall, coming home for the afternoon and then going back to the hospital around 4-5:00 pm every day.  We've made the best of the situation and the size of the room and the nursing staff has certainly made it more bearable.

I don't have any cute Christmas pictures to post because Kendall couldn't wear her outfit due to the IV in her arm but I will take some when she comes home and we'll pretend like it's Christmas morning.

In the meantime, here's few photos from last week.  The twins are 12 weeks old today (4 weeks gestationally).  I think Christopher is slightly ahead of Kendall developmentally because he's definitely smiling more in response to stimuli.  They are both starting to coo fairly regularly. We'll continue to watch Kendall to make sure she doesn't have any issues from the meningitis.  They were both weighed a few days ago and they are growing like crazy!  Christopher is just under 11 lbs and Ms. Kendall was 10.3 lbs.  They've come such a long way from their birth weights.

Kendall

Christopher

It's Not Home, But It's Something

We got the official word that Kendall won't be home for Christmas.  They will be keeping her through December 29th.  While the doctor feels the infection would probably clear with just 2 weeks of antibiotics, she wants to be really, really sure by adding that extra week.

I was pretty upset when they told us.  You guys know more than anybody how hard the holidays are and the thought of having to spend it apart was heart breaking.  Until yesterday....

All of our local hospitals have insitituted a very strict visitation policy since the H1N1 outbreak.  They are only allowing parents to visit.  So, DH & I have been alternating our time between home and the hospital and between Christopher and Kendall.  We've basically been parenting individually for the last 2 weeks and only seeing each other for an hour or two a day.

I asked one of our nurses if she thought they would make an exception to let us bring Christopher to the hospital so we could spend Christmas Eve together.  One person said she thought they might be able to swing a day visit but an overnight would create some liability on the hospital. 

Yesterday, one of the hospital case workers came in and told me they were giving us the exception and we're allowed to bring Christopher to the hospital ANY TIME we want - not just Christmas!

What a wonderful thing to do!  Of course we'd rather be home but at least we can spend some days and/or nights together as a family.   We had our first slumber party last night and they both did great.  I think they know when the other is there because they both seemed so much calmer.  They are sleeping in the hospital bassinets that are clear plastic.  I caught them looking at each other last night.  Who knows what they can see at this point but I'm going with the theory that they were staring at each other!

Our area is expecting a major snowstorm tomorrow (12"+) so we plan to go back to the hospital tonight and then get snowed in at the hospital.   Hmmmm.... do you think they'd mind if I brought in a Christmas tree?!

Kendall & Pics of the Twins

Just thought I'd provide another update on Kendall.  I know most of you probably have more important things to focus on but this gives me something to do when I'm spending the day in the hospital with her.

Kendall is still doing well.  Her bone scan showed an area of "concern" on her right hip so she had another MRI.  The MRI showed no signs of infection.... phew!

So, our only remaining obstacle is keeping the IV lines going.  The one they placed in her scalp failed this morning.  It lasted 5 days, which isn't bad.  They had to call an anesthesiologist this afternoon to get another line in her because her veins are so darn small.   He got it in her right hand on the first try.  Hopefully this one will last a few days as well.

I still can't get an answer on the remaining time she'll be here.  The attending doctor has been consulting with several other doctors including an infectious disease doctor, an internist and another pediatrician.  So far, one of them is recommending a 3 week treatment.  NOT what I wanted to hear because that means she'll be here for Christmas.  I've expressed my desire to have her home but ultimately, I know we need to do what's best for Kendall.  I suppose they'll make a final decision later this week but I'm prepared for it to be bad news.

Before Kendall got sick again, we did a photo shoot with a local photographer that we met through a friend. She is just starting her own photography business.  Here's a few pics:

Update on Kendall

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers... again.  Kendall is doing well and except for being in the hospital, you'd never know she was sick.  Things aren't all sunshine and lolly pops, though.

We're still trying to figure out why the bacteria came back.  I have my suspicions about the whole thing because the ONLY thing that has shown the bacteria is the first culture that was pulled when we came to the ER on Tuesday night.  They've drawn blood twice since then and everything is coming back normal.  Both doctors did say it's possible the antibiotics starting working that quickly and that's why all of the cultures have come back negative since but still, it makes you wonder if there's really something there or if the first culture was just contaminated?

Everyone has said that it's extremely uncommon for the bacteria to come back once it's been treated once.  The doctors have a few theories:

1. The original infection never cleared.  This seems to be unlikely because they cultured her blood and spinal fluid before discharging her after the meningitis.
2. The blood clot that developed in her leg could have contained a colony of bacteria.  As the blood clot dissolved, it could have released the bacteria back into her blood stream where it continued to multiple until she got sick again.  This seems like the most viable theory to me.

The doctors have ordered test after test to try to find the source.  She received another MRI of her brain to see if there were abscesses from the meningitis and that came back normal.  Now, they are concentrating on her right hip and thinking she may have an infection in her bone.  She received a bone scan yesterday afternoon and it did show an area in her hip joint that absorbed the contrast dye more than any other areas.  The doctor warned that bone scans are typically very non-specific so it's not conclusive.  She has ordered an MRI of Kendall's pelvic area to see if that shows anything.

If it turns out to be an infection in her bone, she'll be in the hospital for up to 6 weeks.  That presents several issues and concerns.  She has such small veins that they are already having a hard time keeping her IV going.  It's in her scalp right now because the vein in her arm blew the other night.  We might be able to keep going with the periphereal IVs if she's only here another week but any longer than that, and we'll have to consider a longer-term solution such as the PICC line or central line.  You may remember she didn't do well after the central line was put in last time and developed that blood clot. 

The other issue is her length of time in the hospital.  Right now, she's in the hospital where they were born and it's only 5 minutes from our house.  She's in a private room which is allowing my husband and I to stay with her longer and to spend nights.  If she has a long-term IV placed, she'll be transferred back to the hospital that treated her meningitis.  That hospital is about 45 minutes from our house and she'd be sharing a room with another child.  It's not very accomodating for parents.

The other issue (and a blessing) is that DH finally got a job offer and will be starting that within the next few weeks.  We're hoping after the holidays but he'll start whenever they request.  I'm so thankful he's been home this whole time (remember his company was sold and he's been on severance since the end of September).  When he returns to work, I'll be watching the kids until I go back to work on February 1st.  If Kendall is tranferred to that other hospital, it doesn't allow us a lot of time to see her.  I'll be watching Christopher during the day and then it's possible that only one of us could visit her at night.

DH & I are holding up OK during all of this.  We're like ships passing in the night.  I've been staying with her during the day and then he spends the night with her. I'm praying the MRI doesn't show anything and she'll be home with us by Christmas.  I can't imagine having to do this for another 4-5 weeks.   I know her health is most important and we want to get this under control so she's not back in here but it's so frustrating.  We waited so long to have a baby and I feel like we're being robbed of all of that family bonding.  It just wasn't supposed to be like this.

My Worst Nightmare... Take Two

Kendall is back in the hospital.  Her Group B strep infection is back.  We don't think it turned into meningitis this time but she'll be in the hospital for another 2-3 weeks receiving antibiotics.

She started running a fever on Tuesday night so we called the pediatrician and she said to go ahead and take her to the ER.  By the time we got there, her fever had spiked to 102.6.  All of her tests came back negative so we were leaning toward it being a virus.  She was admitted and we expected her to be discharged yesterday.

At 2:00 yesterday, the doctor called and said they cultured her blood and it was growing bacteria.  By this morning, they had identified it as GBS. 

The good news is that , as of this morning, her spinal fluid was still clear and not growing bacteria so we're keeping our fingers crossed that we dodged the meningitis bullet this time. 

The bigger concern is why it came back.  They are now starting another barrage of tests to see if they can find the source.

I'm so sad at the possibility of her spending her first Christmas in the hospital.  All I've dreamed about is waking up Christmas morning with my babies. 

I can't believe we're going through this again.

Vaccinations!

The twins had their first set of vaccinations this afternoon.  5 shots later, they are sleeping peacefully.

Let's hope it stays that way all night and they don't get fussy.

Their check-up went great and the doctor is very pleased with their progress.  They are superstars in the weight gain department.  Christopher is now 8.07 lbs and Kendall is a whopping 7.15 lbs.  They are both exactly the same height now at 20 1/2 inches.  Developmentally, they are right on track.  They are both smiling, cooing and holding their heads up for a few seconds at a time.  Since they were born 8 weeks early, they will probably do some things a little later like crawling and walking but so far, they are doing really well.  I'm still concerned about Kendall's long term prognosis from the meningitis and he said we would be seeing some signs now if she was going to have problems.  The fact that she is holding her head up and smiling is a great sign that she'll develop normally.  Phew!

So, our reward for the weight gain (besides having healthy kids) is that we get to move off the scheduled feedings.  We were still waking them up every 4 hours to eat and now they can eat on demand.

Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time?

Of course just when we get the babies healthy, mommy and daddy get sick.  DH got some funky rash on Thanksgiving morning that wouldn't go away.  Turns out he had an allergic reaction to something and he's on steroids for the next week.

I have a raging sinus infection that started Sunday.  It came out of nowhere so I'm really hoping it was caused by allergies and not a virus because I was kissing all over the babies. I felt fine Saturday when I went to bed and woke up Sunday morning with a scratchy throat that slowly turned into super duper, congested snot nose.  The doctor gave me a Z-pack yesterday so I should be feeling better by tomorrow.

On the brightside, the doctor's office had the H1N1 vaccines so we both got the shot.  Better safe than sorry.

I tried to get creative with my photography skills and held a few photo shoots.  Yeah, I know.  Don't quit my day job. 

"Where's the turkey"?

"Who turned out the lights"?

Apparently, I like to take photos when Kendall is sleeping?