Can I get a Christmas Re-do?

Ugh, I wish I had one of those "happy, everything was wonderful" Christmas posts.  Nothing tragic happened, it just wasn't the best Christmas.

The morning of Christmas Eve, DH came downstairs and said he wasn't feeling well.  He was awake for about an hour and then went back to bed.  By the afternoon, he was running a 102 fever.  We always celebrate with my husband's side of the family on Xmas Eve and we had plans to go to my BIL house that night at 5:00. 

I ended up taking the kids by myself and it was fine.  The twins love their 2 cousins and they played with them all night.  I had planned to come back home by 9:00 or 9:30 but my husband's other brother and his wife shot that plan out the window.  I'll refer to them as T & D.

Do you have anyone in your family that is so self-centered and selfish that you just can't comprehend their actions?   The type of people that think everything revolves around their schedule?

Yep, that's my husband's youngest brother and his wife.  They do this sort of thing ALL OF THE TIME.

We have celebrated with my husband's family on Christmas Eve for the last 10 years.  It's a set plan and everyone knows the routine.  A few years ago,  T & D started attending the 5:00 service at their church but they would always come over afterwards and would usually arrive by 7:00 or so. 

This year, they decided to attend church and then go to dinner afterwards.  They said they thought they would still arrive by 8:00 but that time came and went.  Keep in mind this is 3 hours after the rest of us arrived. 

My kids go to bed by 8:00, at the latest.  So, now I've got 2 increasingly sleepy and grumpy toddlers on my hands.  By myself.  And, then 8:30 came.  And, they still weren't there.  I was started to get a little mad.

We haven't seen T &D or their 3 kids since my twins birthday in October.  I was tempted to just leave without seeing them but I wanted to see my nieces and I wanted to see them open their presents and I would hope that they would like to see the twins open theirs.

Apparently their dinner plans were more important?

They finally arrived at 9:45 and you better believe I made a few comments:

To my BIL:  "If you had been 5 minutes later, you would've missed us".  And then my SIL had the nerve to say, "I can't believe you're still here". 

Are you friggin' serious?!

I quickly replied, "Well, we wanted to see you and I thought you'd want to see us too.  But, we need to leave in the next 10 minutes.  The kids are tired and so am I".

We quickly exchanged gifts and then I loaded the kids in the car.  They were completely exhausted and I was thinking about all of the stuff that I still needed to do back home (put some toys together, finish wrapping). 

I fell into bed at midnight and DH was still sick as a dog.

And, then Christopher woke up at 2:30 am.  And, wouldn't go back to bed.  I finally took him down to the living room, where he caught the first glimpse of his Xmas presents.  So much for capturing the kids' expressions as they entered the room on Christmas morning.  We both dozed on the couch until 7:30 am.

I went upstairs to wake up Kendall and Daddy and thought, "OK, here we go!  It's Christmas morning!" and I was super excited.

And, then the kids weren't interested in opening any presents.  At all.

I stayed up until midnight wrapping their gifts and I had to open all of them.  Why did I bother?

And, DH was still sick.

So, it was just the twins and I all day on Christmas. 

I know that none of what happened is a big deal if I'm looking at the big picture but I was so disappointed at how the day went.  I have such fond memories of Christmas as a child and it's my favorite holiday.  I envisioned getting pictures of the twins opening their presents and laughing and giggling. Instead I got temper tantrums and 2 toddlers who had their own agenda. I hated that DH was sick and stayed in bed all weekend.  I hated that his brother was so selfish and that we didn't get to spend more time with everyone.

I guess there's always next year.

A Letter to my RE

Dear Dr. Browne,
I drove past your office today and couldn't help but smile to myself.  I can't believe it's been over 2 years since you gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

I've been meaning to write this letter for so long but somehow, I've just never been able to find the right words.  How do I express my gratitude?  How do I express how full my heart is?  We have 2 beautiful children and it wouldn't have been possible without you.  I am thankful beyond words.

You truly have the best job in the world.  You have the ability to provide miracles to families who thought it wasn't possible.  Families who thought they could never have children.  You get to see life as it happens, literally.  I'm so thankful for your abilities and your passion for what you do.

I remember our conversation after my first failed cycle.  I entered that meeting so discouraged and broken hearted. You looked at me and said, "There's absolutely no reason that we can't get you pregnant.  We still have alot of options and I'm confident we're going to get you there". 

And, you did. 

After my 2nd IVF cycle, I remember you called me with the beta results and sounded just as excited as me.  At my first ultrasound, you told me it was twins and when you looked up, you had tears in your eyes.  I'll never forget that.

I know you have helped so many more families over the last 2 years and I'm sure they feel the same sentiment as me.  You are a very special human being.  Thank you for giving me my miracles.

All the Best,
S & T

It Ain't Over 'Til The Toddler Has A Tantrum

We took the twins to see Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music on Saturday.   We bought the tickets back in October and, at the time, December seemed far away.  I honestly can't believe that Christmas is in 5 days.

I tried to keep my expectations in check.  We haven't really taken the kids to many public events - partially because of their age and mostly because we're on a pretty strict budget. 

If it ain't low cost, we ain't doin' it.

So, needless to say, we splurged on the tickets because I truly thought the kids would have a blast.  They adore anything Sesame Street.

When the show started, Bert and Ernie came out first and the look on Kendall's face was priceless.  Her eyes got wide and she pointed and yelled, "Errrrrnieeee"!

I seriously got teary eyed.  I'm not joking.

Christopher was much more stoic about the whole event.  He sat on hubby's lap and watched but really showed little emotion.

The one obstacle that I didn't anticipate was the seats.  It was stadium seating and the kids weren't quite heavy enough to keep the seat in the downright position.  It kept wanting to pop up.  So DH and I had to hold the seat down the entire time for fear that we'd look over and see just a head and feet sticking out.

They did fairly well up until the first intermission (about 45 minutes into the show).  Christopher seemed to have more fun running around in the hallways than he did watching the show. 

When it was time to go back in for the 2nd half, neither of them wanted to go back to our seats.  They were done.

(you can call this part foreshadowing)

Ohhhhh no.  We paid for these tickets and we're using them, darn it!

I coaxed them back in with the allure of Apple Jacks but they were both super antsy for the remainder of the show.

Kendall kept getting in and out of her seat and I swear she kicked the lady in front of us in the head at least 10 times.  God Bless Her for pretending she didn't feel it.

Toward the end of the show, DH and I had to resort to pulling out our iPhones and letting the kids play games to keep them occupied.  The entire show lasted about 90 minutes and my kids were ready to go. 

DH took his phone back from Christopher as we packed up and that started the meltdown.  Ohhhhhh ho yes.

Full on "throw myself on the ground kicking feet screaming" meltdown.  We had to fireman carry him out into the main hallway and tried to calm him down but he was not having it.

I tried to get his coat on and I would have had more success trying to dress a cat.

And then, in true twin fashion, Kendall started. We carried 2 screaming, crying kids from the stadium to the parking lot.

We got a few stares and a few people glancing back at us.  Thankfully, it was a kids' venue and most everyone was immune to it.  Had we been anywhere else, I would have been humiliated because of how they were carrying on.

All in all, I don't regret going.  I was a little surprised at the length of the show - I was thinking an hour max.  The show itself was cute although it did incorporate a human character, Jenny.  She was a little boring and honestly, the kids all just want to see the characters.  There was a story line with lots of singing and dancing and some of the repetition got a little... well, repetitive.

"C is for cookie... it's good enough for me"

R.S.V. without the P

We gots da RSV up in da house. 

Both kids have had runny noses for oh, the last 2 weeks so it's impossible to tell what's new and what's still hanging around.  They both started with some juicy sounding coughs on Saturday but energy and appetites were good.

We went to my BIL house that night and they played with their cousins.  One of whom was diagnosed with strep but had been on antibiotics for over 24 hrs.  The kids stayed up WAY past their bedtime and we were home by 10:00.

Christopher woke up Sunday morning at the usual 5:00 am time and DH got up with him.  Kendal slept until 7:00.  It was my morning to sleep in so I didn't come downstairs until 8:30.  I found Kendall sitting next to Daddy watching Sprout TV and Christopher was asleep on his chest.

I didn't think much of it since he went to bed late and got up early.  DH took him upstairs to his bed and went to take a nap himself. 

2 1/2 hours went by and not a peep from Christopher so I went to check on him.  He was burning up.  Took his temperature and it was 101.3.  It came right down after a dose of Motrin but we battled it all day.

Something still wasn't sitting right with me though.  The late onset fever after runny nose and cough surely indicated an infection of some sort and Christopher just didn't seem like himself.  After the 2 1/2 hour morning nap, he went back to sleep on the couch for another 2 hours.

They went to bed at their normal bedtime but he just seemed uncomfortable and his breathing seemed more rapid than usual.  He also started doing this grunting thing.  I was sure he was on his way to the pneumonia train.

So, at 7:30 I decided to take him to the ER.  We had to wait about 45 minutes before they even called his name.  I took his temp right before we left and it was 99.0 but as we sat there, I could tell it was climbing.   They finally called us back to the triage area and his temp was 103.  They took us to a room and the nurse said she'd be right back with some Tylenol.

45 minutes later, we're still sitting there.  And, my little boy is miserable.  And, I'm thinking, "I should have brought my own medicine.   This is ridiculous".

The nurse practicioner came in to take a preliminary look and took his temp again.  Now, it was 104.  Uh, can you get a move on with the Tylenol, please?!

She checked his lungs and said they still sounded clear.  Phew.  She said every child that has come in with runny nose and high temp has tested positive for RSV and she suspected Chris would too.  They did a strep culture just to be safe.

All said and done, we got home at 11:30.  With the same instructions that I would have done at home anyway.  Treat the symptoms - Motrin as needed.  Saline drops, suction with bulb syringe.

The cost of peace of mind?   $100 co-pay but at least I could sleep last night.

Kendall woke up with a fever this morning so I'm guessing she has it too.  They've been playing well today and appetites are OK; not great.   Just put them down for a nap and I'm not too far behind!

Wordless Wednesday ~ Amateur Photography

I've become interested in photography lately.   I get some OK shots here and there but I need more practice.  Here's a few that I've taken over the last few weeks.

Snuggles are still the best

 

It's beginning to look alot like.....

Christmas!

This is hands down my favorite time of year!  I could not wait to get the Christmas decorations up this year so I could see the pure amazement and excitement in the kids' eyes. 

We put up the Christmas tree the Friday evening after Thanksgiving.  Last year, we placed it in the corner of our dining room and completely gated off the dining room so the twins couldn't bother it.  I debated on whether I should do the same this year. Or, are they now old enough to understand?

That question, along with my frustration of constantly picking up the kids' toys in the family room, gave me a brainstorm.  After the kids are in bed every night, I have to stumble over toys and their mess just to relax on the couch and it drives me absolutely bonkers.

We live in a townhouse but it's a decent size and very wide.  Our dining room is almost the size of what you would find in a single family home.  And, since having the kids, we just don't entertain like we used to.  Now, it's essentially wasted space.  If we have a family meal, it's at the kitchen table.   The dining room table just sits empty.

So, I decided to move all of the kids' toys into a designated kids play area at the back of the dining room. 

Work in Progress

Christopher being a "helper"

Finished view from family room

Finished View from hallway

So far, it has served the purpose of keeping the toys in the dining room and not under my feet when I'm trying to walk around in the family room.

With the toys now in their new home, it allowed us to place the Christmas tree in the corner of the family room where the toys used to live.   Now we can keep an eye on it and stop the twins if they start to get curious.

It's hard to see but the "theme" of the Xmas tree is rustic.  There are balsam wood stars and bells, burlap snowmen, wooden animals, patchwork stockings.  And, red berry garland.  Nothing is breakable, which is a good thing.

I thought the kids would show an interest in the ornaments but instead they are fascinated with the berry garland.  Christopher keeps pulling off the berries and saying "Balls" and throwing them across the family room!  And, this morning, Daddy said Kendall stuck a berry up her nose.   Niiiicce!

On the bright side, at least the tree is still standing after 3 days.

What a 25-month old can do

I love reading other blogs to see how other twins’ are developing so here’s an update on mine (in case anyone likes to read my blog for the same reason).


Kendall

• Knows every letter and will identify them out of context. We take the kids’ to the mall play area on Sunday mornings before the mall opens and we often stroll the hallways so the kids can run and get out some energy. This past weekend, Kendall stopped at a store window and started reciting the letters that were on the window.

• Can count to 1-10 in English and Spanish. She’s been counting in English for about 2 months and has even started counting on her fingers. A few weeks ago, she was in the back seat of my car and I heard what sounded like Spanish. When I started repeating the numbers, they seemed familiar to her. She must have learned it at school because it’s not something we’ve practiced at home.

• Has started saying simple sentences like “Kendall singing”, “Mommy dancing” or “Chris crying”. I put new PJs on her a few weeks ago and told her she looked cute. Now, she walks around saying, “I are cute”. Why, yes you are my little cutie!

• She still loves to color and draw. I think she’s going to be a lefty.

• Will point out the colors of things she sees. “I wear brown”, “Mommy wear pink”, “Red car”.

• Loves listening to the Wiggles. I purchased a “Best of” album for my iPhone and she asks to listen to it constantly. “Wiggles”? “Wiggles”? And, I have to admit. Some of their songs are catchy!

• She also requests an animal game that I have on my iPhone. I highly recommend it. A flashcard pops up that shows the animal, the name of the animal and it makes the sound of the animal. Both kids love it and they are learning the names of animals they would not normally see.

• Is becoming more independent. If I’m carrying her, she will say, “I walk, Mommy”!
• Her favorite foods are mac ‘n cheese and pizza. In between bites, she says, “Nummy Nummy”.

Christopher


• Has started talking much more over the last 2 months or so. He is also saying simple sentences like, “I want apple juice”. If I don’t respond as quickly as he thinks I should, he will walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door and yell, “Mommy”!

• When the kids’ are fighting or whining, I will often say, “Enough”. Last weekend, Kendall was carrying on and crying about something. Christopher turned around with this scowl on his face, pointed his finger and said, “E-nough”!

• Loves to climb and jump. His new favorite game is to place a chair from their craft table next to the knee wall that separates our living room and dining room. He climbs over the wall and falls on the couch. We’re still trying to stop that one.

• His favorite toy right now is his football. Daddy bought him a real football a few months ago. It was a nice day yesterday so we went outside and they threw the football. Well, actually Daddy threw the football and Christopher chased it and dove on it. But, still fun for everyone.

• He’s very loving and empathetic. If Kendall is crying, he will walk over and pat her back or give her hug. He often comes over to me and says, “Lap” and then climbs up and snuggles.

• He has taken a special liking to our cat, Kisa. He often goes to the bottom of the stairs and yells, “Kisa! Treats”! When she comes downstairs, he gently pets her and lays his head on her.

• Loves to color with markers. It’s my “go to” distraction if I need to get something done.

• His favorite foods are grapes, yogurt and pancakes

And, here's my "Awww" moment for the week.  We were driving to daycare last week and when I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw this:

Hamster on a wheel

When people find out I'm the mother of twins, they often ask, "How do you do it"?

My answer is usually the same.  "Oh, it can be challenging but it's worth it". And then I walk away and say under breath, "I don't know".

The truth is, there are many days when I feel like I don't do it.  There are days when I feel like a boss, a wife, a mother, a maid, a chauffeur, a chef, a teacher, etc., etc.

There are days when I don't know if I'm coming or going.  And my memory?   Oh sweet Jesus, my memory. 

I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  I keep running and running but I'm not really getting anywhere.

I clean the house and it's trashed within an hour.
I do the laundry and the basket is full by the next day.
I cook dinner, only to be followed by rejections and requests for something else.

When I look back at my posts when the twins were 3-4 months old, I ask myself, "How did you do it"?  And to be honest, it's all a blur. 

It was cycles of pumping, bottles, diaper changes and sleeping.  I remember thinking that I was living my life in 3 hour increments, just trying to get through the day.

Twins at age 2 has it's own set of challenges, there's no doubt about it.  The demands of me physically have diminished and now it's a mental challenge.

The temper tantrums, the independence, the fighting, the sibling rivalry, the quest to be "first". 

Yes, it can be enough to make any one crazy.

But, we ARE doing it.  We brought these 2 wonderful little kids into this world and we will be the best parents we can be.

And, maybe, just maybe.  This hamster will get somewhere some day.

PukeAPalooza

Oh yes.  We had stomach flu times two today.

Christopher woke up at 5:30 and immediately started dry heaving.  By 7:30, he had gotten sick 4 times.  Kendall woke up and seemed fine.

Until 9:30 am.  And then she threw up.

Poor Christopher got sick every 45 minutes until 11:30.  Thankfully Kendall only got sick the one time.

They seemed to be coming around by this evening. 

Me:  "Do you want to try to eat something"?
Christopher: "Yes"
Me:  "Do you know what you want"?
Christopher: "Ice Cream"

That's my boy!

Twin Love

Halloween - Why It's Now Bittersweet to Me

Ah, Halloween.  The holiday that officially welcomes Fall. 

Yes, the air begins to have the first bitter chill and children's eyes light up at the prospect of baskets of sweet candy.

I love Fall.  But, now it has a different meaning for me.  I can't think of Halloween without thinking of the twins' first Halloween. 

They had been home from the NICU for exactly 10 days.  They were 4 weeks old.  DH and I were still trying to figure out what the heck we were doing and barely able to see straight from the neverending cycle of bottles, diapers and 3 hours of sleep per day, if we were lucky.

October 31, 2009 started as usual but by late afternoon, Kendall became really fussy and would not stop crying.  We thought it was gas but after 2 hours of not being able to calm her, we started getting worried.  Could it be colick?  She showed no interest in eating and the cries became more stressed.  It was becoming obvious that something was wrong.  Should I call the pediatrician?  Are we overreacting?  What if it is just gas?

She finally fell asleep around 7:00 pm and we thought we handled it.  Whatever it was, it passed.  It was time for their bottle at 8:00 pm and when we attempted to wake her, she was lethargic and pale.  I remember standing at the changing table and thinking she looked really pale.  Blue, almost.

We decided we weren't messing around anymore and that we needed to get her to the hospital.  I called our neighbors to watch Christopher.  It was right in the middle of H1N1 flu season and we knew we couldn't take him to the hospital.  He was way too small and way too young.

We were out the door within 10 minutes.  I'll never forget the drive.  The hospital is about 10 minutes away and DH was weaving around cars and riding on the shoulder of the road so we didn't waste any time.  I was sitting in the backseat next to Kendall with my hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing.

We checked into the ER and they took us back within 5 minutes.  The nurse asked us to undress her so they could take her weight and temperature.  The thermometer read 96 degrees and we thought it was a fluke.  Surely, her temperature wasn't 96 degrees?!  The nurse told us she worked in the NICU for 10 years and that was a relief, considering we had just spent every day of the previous 4 weeks there.

She walked us back to the exam room and started asking what had happened.  I was holding Kendall and talking to the nurse.  All of the sudden DH said, "Something's wrong".  Just as I looked down, the nurse grabbed Kendall from my arms and started rubbing her chest and shaking her gently.  She kept saying, "Come back to us, come back baby". 

Kendall had stopped breathing.

The shaking startled Kendall and her respirations started right back.  Immediately, the room took on a different feel.

4 additional nurses came in the room.  They moved in a warming bed, oxygen and immediately hooked her up to the monitors.  They started an IV.

For most parents, I think the site of their child being hooked up to monitors, IVs and oxygen would be disturbing but oddly, hospitals were comforting to us.  Juggling IV lines and monitor cords is how we got acquainted with our children for their first 3 weeks of life.  It was familiar.

The doctor came in and gave us his thoughts on what was going on.  He felt confident that she was battling some sort of infection.  The question was -- what kind?

He wanted to be proactive and start her on antibiotics immediately.  I remember him saying, "We can figure out the cause later.  Right now, we need to get her started". 

I'm convinced his decision saved my little girl's life.

Urinary tract infection was the frontrunner.  That was a relief to hear.  Easy enough to cure.

They got a urine sample and took it away to get tested.  They also drew some blood.

An hour later, the nurse came back and said her urine was clear.  Not a UTI.  

The doctor came in and mentioned bacterial meningitis.  He said we would need to do a spinal tap to be sure.  He assured me it wouldn't hurt Kendall.  The nerve endings in a newborn's spinal cord don't connect until after they are 10 weeks old so she wouldn't feel any pain.  At the same time, it also makes the spinal cord vulnerable to infection because the column hasn't closed off yet. 

30 minutes later, they were performing the spinal tap.  Kendall had stablized at that point and her body temperature came back to normal.  Yes, her temperature really was 96 degrees when we checked in.  The nurse later explained that preemies tend to drop their temperature when they have a fever.

The nurses started talking about transferring Kendall to another hospital.  One of the best on the East Coast and about an hour from our house.  They started coordinating the transfer with that hospital's PICU unit.

They wanted to Life Flight her to the hospital (via helicopter) but it was raining that night and the choppers were grounded.  We waited for an ambulance.

In the meantime, the results of her spinal tap came back.  Spinal fluid is supposed to be sterile and it was growing bacteria.

It was meningitis.  Now we needed to know what bacteria we were dealing with.

It was 2:00 am when I climbed into the ambulance with my baby.  DH left to relieve our neighbors from watching Christopher around midnight.  My sister was meeting me at the new hospital with an overnight bag.  There was NO way I was leaving Kendall's side.

The rest of that night was horribly memorable.  I never went to sleep.  I just sat beside her bed, holding her hand, sobbing and praying.

After everything we had been through.  The horrible delivery, 3 weeks in the NICU.  How could this be happening?

She spent 2 weeks in the hospital.  The doctor's weren't sure if she would suffer any long-term brain damage.  Only time would tell.  They did 2 extensive hearing tests that came back normal.  A good sign.

My little Kendall would endure one more life threatening infection one month later that landed her in the hospital for 3 weeks.  That was our first Christmas. 

Two years later, she's a thriving, smart little girl.  The doctor's are now confident that we caught the infection before any damage was done.  She should continue to grow as a normal, healthy child.

And that is the best TREAT of all.

Farm Fun

We took advantage of a fantastic fall day and ventured to a local animal park / farm.  It was our first time at this farm and I'm so glad we went.  The kids had a blast!

"Hello "Or See""

Kendall loved this camel - we couldn't tear her away!

Catching a glimpse of "hoppy hoppy" (bunny)

Best Friends

Parlez-vous, Toddler?

I took 6 years of French in high school and college.  I won't admit how many years ago that was.  But, if you're an avid blogger, you'll know you can find my age in my profile.

At any rate, I don't remember much of what I learned.  The old "use it or lose it" cliche. 

I do remember whacky things like how to conjugate verbs.  Because, you know.  It's useful in every day conversation to know how to say "to remember" to any audience.   Like, duh!

You can imagine I don't fashion myself to be some superior linguist who is able to master any language within minutes.   No.  I'm no Rosetta Stone user.

But, I have conquered the language of Toddler.  I have cracked the code and I think I owe it to all of you to share my knowledge. 

Please print this handy guide and keep it with you at all times.  It makes translation so much easier when you are visiting Toddlerland as a tourist.

Toddlerism                     English Translation
ba mina                            banana

Bof fom                           Bottom  (also known as rear end)

Melk                                Milk

Zooes                              Shoes

Zocks                              Socks

Woof                               Dog

Mee owwww                 Cat

I wan yellow                   I would like to color

Be air                             Bear

All wet                           You took a bath and smell nice

Or see                            Horsey

pump key                        Pumpkin

Buck key                        Buckle

Daw fee                         Coffee

Bra fur                           Brother

Where go?                     Have you seen my ?

Poon                              Spoon

Man Go                         Mango

Box                               Blocks

Bach                              Book

Air                                Hair


Please feel free to add to the list as you learn additional words in your own travels.

Je vous en prie.

October 4, 2009

The day I will always remember.  The day that changed my life forever.  The day my beautiful children were born.

It was a Sunday and the days preceding it were "off".  I worked from home that Thursday and had an appointment with the perinatologist that morning.  When I got there, the ultrasound tech did her thing and said both babies looked fine.  She left the room and said the doctor would be in shortly.  About 5 minutes later, she came back and said he was called over to the hospital but I was welcome to wait, if I wanted.  She didn't know how long he'd be gone and I had been feeling OK so I decided to come back home.  The afternoon went fine but by early evening, I started having some back pain.  I knew Christopher had been sitting low and thought he was probably just laying on my pelvic bone.  By 8:00, the pain was uncomfortable enough for me to take a Tylenol.  I also put myself on bedrest for the rest of the evening and the next day.

Friday and Saturday, I felt fine.  No pain.  No aches.

Sunday, around mid-morning, I started feeling like I had to pee every 5 minutes.  I've had my share of UTIs and thought that I was probably getting one - although there was no pain when I did go and most times, it was just a trickle.  I layed on the couch for most of the day watching football.

At 4:30, I got up to pee for oh, the 10th time that day.  Again, I thought either UTI or that Christopher was sitting on my bladder.  I had absolutely no idea - I've never been pregnant!

I also noticed an increase in pressure but again, I had no idea if it was normal.  After all, I was carrying 40 lbs of fluid and baby.  Why wouldn't there be pressure?

And then, all of the sudden, I started peeing like I hadn't gone in 6 months.  After a few seconds, I thought, "This is weird" and I looked in the toilet. 

Bright. red. blood.

Thank God I knew I had a partial placenta previa or else I would have FREAKED out!

I opened the door and yelled, "DH!  I'm bleeding and I think my water broke.  I need a pad and a ride to the hospital"!

We arrived at the hospital in 10 minutes and I explained what happened.  They were very casual about the whole thing.  Which I guess is good in hindsight.

If they freaked, I would have freaked more than I was.  I remember the nurse just kept saying, "It's going to be OK.  You're 32 weeks".

They confirmed both babies were doing fine and the doctor ordered an ultrasound to see where the blood was coming from.  They also confirmed that my water was leaking.

I was starting to feel a little cramping but the doctor assured me it was normal with bleeding.  It was tolerable.  A 4 on a scale of 1-10.

The doctor finally said I was on immediate bedrest and that he wanted to get me to 34 weeks.  Oh, and that I wasn't leaving the hospital until I had the babies.  I got checked into a regular room and then the fun began.

The cramping really picked up and the back pain came back.  With a vengeance.  Oh, and the heartburn too.  Out of my whole "labor" experience, I remember the heart burn the most.

Since I was bleeding, I had to lay flat.  Which is pure torture when you have heartburn.  We left the house in such a hurry that I didn't grab anything.  Including my sacred Tums.

I called my sister and my mom and told them I was admitted to the hospital and that I thought I was in labor but the doctor thought the contractions would taper off as the bleeding stopped. 

After an hour, the contractions were picking up.  The nurse came in and looked at the tape and asked if I was feeling them.  I said, "yeah" as I squirmed in the bed and she said, "You're really cranking those out - every minute or so".   And then she said she was going to call the doctor because it was obvious they weren't going away.

10 minutes later, she said they were prepping the ER for an emergency c-section.

The c-section started normally.  I got the epidural and some medicine for the heart burn (finally!).  The kids were born without incident - both cried immediately.

I thought everything was fine until I heard the doctor say, "I need a mop, my hysterectomy kit and 2 units of blood".   It still didn't register with me.  I thought he just needed something out of this kit, like a tool?

And then I heard the nurse tell DH that he needed to go with her.  I didn't really think anything of it because I thought it was procedure for him to leave with the babies. 

Finally, I asked the anesthesiologist (because he was the only one I could see) if I was having a hysterectomy.  He politely replied, "Yes, you've had a complication". 

From here on out, it was organized chaos.  Everyone remained calm but I could tell there was definitely a sense of urgency.  Another team was pulled off another c-section to assist.  Suddenly, there were double the people in the room.

I heard the doctor ask for 2 more units of blood.  At this point, I was still aware of what was happening but starting to feel funny.  I was shaking uncontrollably and started feeling really, really sleepy.  I also got really cold.

I heard the anesthesiologist say, "Her blood pressure is 80/30" and then he ordered  4 more medications.

I don't really remember much after that.  I'm pretty sure I passed out for a period of time.  When I came to, I was still on the operating table and they were counting all of the instruments to make sure they recovered all of them.  I still don't know how long I was actually in the operating room but I suspect it was over 2 hours.

I was in recovery for another 2 hours and then finally moved to a room where I could see DH.  He assured me the babies were fine and showed me their first pictures.

Christopher was born at 11:00 pm weighing 4 lbs 7 oz.  Kendall was born at 11:01 pm weighing 3 lbs 15 oz.

I received 4 units of blood throughout the night and wasn't allowed to get up to see the babies until 6:30 Monday night.

It wasn't until the next day that I realized the severity of the delivery.  The doctor came in to see me and apologized for doing the hysterectomy but said, "I had to do it to save your life".   He told me I hemorrhaged when he attempted to remove one of the placentas and lost 1/2 of my total blood volume in 20 minutes.  I almost bled to death.

Wow. 

Here we are 2 years later and I'm thankful every day for the blessings I have.  They have filled my heart with more joy than I could ever imagine. 

Happy Birthday my babies.  I love you.

2nd Birthday Party - Sesame Style

We had the twins' 2nd birthday party today.  You might remember in one of my last posts that I was kicking myself for not reserving the picnic pavilion at our local park.

Now, I'm glad I didn't waste the $80.  The weather turned bitterly cold yesterday and continued into today.  It was 45 degrees this morning.  And, rainy..... again.

So, all 21 members of our immediate family piled into our townhouse.  And you know what?

It was OK!

I started alot of the prep work last night and thankfully my MIL came over and stayed the night.  We were up until 11:30 last night blowing up balloons, hanging streamers and just trying to make things look as cute as we could.

The twins were excited when they heard their cousins were coming to see them. 

So excited that they both fell asleep about 30 minutes before our guests arrived.

Everyone arrived around 11:00 am.  And, it quickly became a full house.

The play kitchen from Mom Mom and Pop Pop was big hit for all ages!

 We had some munchies to snack on until the pizza came.  Keeping with the Sesame Street theme, we had chocolate chip cookies, Dorothy the Goldfish crackers and pretzels.

We even put the Dorothy crackers in a fish bowl!

And, of course cupcakes!  An acquaintance from high school started her own cupcake business in honor of her best friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer.  All of the proceeds go toward cancer patients and their families. 

Aren't they awesome?

They were delish!

The twins got some great gifts including Elmo's Sesame Street guitar, Elmo's Learning ABC blocks, a Thomas the Train starter set, a princess dress up costume, Doodle pads, Legos and a lot more!

It was a long and somewhat exhausting day but the kids had a blast and that's all that matters.

Yellow Buses

The kids’ daycare is about 20 minutes from our house. Most mornings are uneventful because the kids are still half asleep.

The afternoons are a different story. I suppose it’s a good thing they don’t want to leave daycare because they love it so much. Not such a good thing for Mommy when I have to fight with them every afternoon.

Yes, I have carried both of them, at different times, to the car kicking and screaming. Literally.

(The kids were kicking and screaming. Not me).

So, I invented a game. We have a book at home called “Let’s Go” and each page has different things that “go”.

Seems like an appropriate title for the book, no?

They have become fascinated with buses. Yellow buses to be specific.

So, everyday we look for buses on the way home. And, now I have created bus fiends. As soon as we get in the car, they both start:

“Yellow bus”?
“Please”?
“Bus, Mommy”

Most days, we see at least 4 or 5 on the way home. And the kids clap and yell with pure glee. I am suddenly the most amazing mommy e-ver!

If one of the kids spots a bus first, we all give each other high fives. It’s quite a scene when I’m reaching behind the driver’s seat to blindly slap a hand.

And, if we don’t see any buses, I have a Plan B. After all, if the kids don’t get their bus fix for the afternoon, there’s a very good chance they’ll take over the car and we’ll veer off the road into a ditch. Hey, it could happen.

The out of service buses for the county are parked at the middle school around the corner from our house. I told the kids that’s where the buses “sleep”. So, if we don’t see any buses, we drive past the parking lot and quietly drive through as the buses get their zzzz’s.

One day last week, we were about ½ way home and we hadn’t seen any buses yet. I started to panic because the kids were getting restless and begging for me to find a bus. I started calling the buses.

“Bu-us? Where are youuuuu”?

And, the kids started calling them.

“Bus? Are youuuuu”?

As if that will help? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Finally, Christopher says, “Bus night night?” and then he started snoring. Seriously, the cutest thing ever.

Birthday Decorations

I've been a busy girl.  Here are some of the decorations that I made for the twins' birthday party in October.

What do you think?

Birthday Countdown

The twins' 2nd birthday is coming up soon and I can't believe it.  I started researching ideas a few months ago.

I knew I didn't want to have it at our house again.  We live in a fairly spacious townhouse but I've learned very quickly that it becomes the Incredible Shrinking House when we entertain.  Here's a scene from last year's celebration.

Pure chaos.  The twins and I are in there somewhere:

I finally figured out the perfect venue.  There is a county park around the corner from our house and we love to go there.  It has 5 age appropriate playsets and the kids love it.  My nieces range in age from 3 to 10 so I needed something that would entertain everyone.  There is a picnic pavilion nearby so I planned to keep it simple with pizza and cupcakes.

Aside from the convenience, I needed to keep it budget friendly.  With the kids' in daycare full-time, we've really had to budget our money and make wise choices.  The pavilion rental was only $79 for 6 hours and the playground is free.  And, I'm keeping it to family only.

Perfect.

I printed off the rental agreement for the pavilion back in June.  I figured I had plenty of time because it was well, June.

And besides.  We go to that park at least twice per month and the pavilion is ALWAYS empty.

Yeah.  You know where this is going, don't you?

At the same time, I started researching birthday invitations.  The kids absolutely love Sesame Street so I knew the theme.  I found a really cute template on Etsy and almost purchased it for $20.

Then my frugal side kicked in and I thought I could make it myself.  So I did.

I finally called to reserve the pavilion this week and damn if it isn't booked.  Not only for the day that I wanted but for the following Saturday as well.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I was at work when I called and of course, I immediately went into panic mode.  Now what?!

The thoughts that went through my head were pretty comical..... and unrealistic.

In the end, I compromised and I really hope it works out.  I'm going to have everyone meet us at the playground from 10:30-11:30 and then we'll come back to our house for pizza and cupcakes. 

I'm not happy about having 21 adults/kids in my house because it's what I wanted to avoid but at least I'm minimizing the length of time that we're bumping into each other.

And, thank God I didn't pay for the invitation because now I can change the wording to read the new plan.

Here's my custom, self-made invitation (with personal information hidden):

Temper Temper

I don't know what happened to my sweet little boy.

Someone has replaced him with a screaming, kicking, hot-headed mess. 

Both kids started with the "Terrible Twos" around 18 months so we've experienced temper tantrums with both of them.

Kendall is my drama queen, pure and simple.  She'll start crying over something and you can tell that she's over it within a few minutes but she continues to "fake cry" for another 10 minutes.  Looking over her shoulder the whole time to see if I'm watching.

Christopher is definitely quicker to throw a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants but he was also easier to calm down.

Until the last week.

When he doesn't get his way, he has started throwing himself down on the ground, kicking and screaming with face bright red. He would usually allow me to come over and hug him and that would calm him down but something has changed.

He has turned into the Incredible Hulk.  Yes, sometimes he does rip his clothes off.  

I'm really hoping it's just another phase of toddlerhood.

On the brightside, it will make his Halloween costume easy.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I was singing to the twins on the way home tonight.

Kendall, "No, Mommy"!

Me: "Do I really sound that bad"?

Christopher: "Yes".


In other news, Christopher has reverted back to being 6 months old by waking up at 4:30 every day this week.

I think Monday and Tuesday mornings were because I had the AC hiked up to 77 and their bedroom was the temperature of Mercury.

Tuesday night,  Christopher refused to put his PJs on and wanted to sleep in his diaper.  I got the hint and turned the AC back on.

Wednesday morning, I think he woke up because their bedroom had accumulated icicles from the AC being back on.  I guess sleeping mostly naked in a diaper with the AC isn't very comfortable.

This morning, he insisted on coming downstairs and once I tried to get him settled on the couch with me, he announced "Poo Poo".

I'm thinking we'll probably have to do some sleep training in the mornings now.  With the kids sharing a room, there's a very fine line of letting him cry it out and settling himself back down and risking having 2 kids awake instead of 1.

Stupid toddler beds....

Tempting Mommy

It's been 2 weeks since the twins converted to toddler beds and I've made a decision.

I want my babies back!

Overall, they have transitioned fairly well.  They are still really excited about the beds which I'm happy about.

What I'm not happy about is the additional hour it's taking to get them to sleep.  They can be practically falling asleep on the couch and as soon as they hit their bedroom door, they are suddenly rejuvenated.

The newest game is called "Tempting Mommy".  Here's how you play:

1. Lay in bed and pretend like you are going to sleep
2. When mommy leaves the room, quickly get out of bed and run around the room
3. When mommy returns to the room, squeal and giggle and run back to bed
4. If mommy decides to stay in the room, quietly put one foot on the floor and watch her to see if she will react.  If she does react, quickly get back in bed and go back to step 1.
5. If mommy yells, "Get back in bed!", she doesn't mean it.  If you laugh at her, she gets even madder and that's really funny
6. If Daddy comes in to the room, he means business and you must act like you are going to sleep until he leaves.  Once he leaves, get out of bed because mommy will come back in and then the game begins again.

I'm also realizing that Kendall takes much, much longer to settle down.  Here's a typical pre-sleep routine with her:

1. Lay head on pillow and then pop up and say, "Ut Oh" because the blanket "fell off"
2. Do this at least 5 times
3. Say hi and/or night night to every stuffed animal in the bed and as you name them, kiss each of them
1. Hi Elmo,
2. Hi Baaa,
3. Hi Un-key (monkey),
4. Hi Woof,
5. Hi Minnie Mouse,
4. After saying hi and/or night night, throw each animal off the bed and say "Ut Oh"
1. It's NOT an Ut Oh if you do it on purpose!
2. This is usually where I start to lose my cool
5. Get out of bed and put each animal back in bed
6. Start singing
7. Start fluffing pillow
1. Do this at least 10 times

You get the picture. 

Once they are asleep, they have been staying in bed all night.  Although, for some reason, they are getting up earlier.  As in 5:00 am earlier.  Yuck!

Christopher is usually the first one up and he doesn't like to party alone.  If we don't get in the room and grab him, he'll go over to Kendall.

"Dendall!  Dendall!"

I was asked if I've thought about splitting them up and putting them in different rooms.  Eventually, I think we'll have to.  I guess part of me feels guilty for doing it.  They didn't get to spend a lot of time together for their first 3 months and sometimes I wonder if they lost some bonding time. 

I was convinced they hated each other for the first 6 months.  Every time I positioned them next to each other, Kendall would cry.

And, I don't think Christopher would do well in a bedroom by himself just yet.  He's much more clingy and he's starting to ask for her when they are apart.

"Where Dendall?"

I guess my plan is to let them decide when it's time to seperate.  I found one idea that suggested asking them every year before their birthday.  I like that idea.

I like the idea of an easy bedtime even better.

Toddler Bed Update - We're All In

We made the conversion.  I stayed home on Friday and got the room ready.  The whole process was bittersweet.  On one hand, I was really excited to get the room done so I could see the kids' faces.  And, I'm so proud of them for hitting this milestone.

But, it made me sad too.  As I tore down the cribs, I couldn't help but think about everything we've been through so far.  The first time they slept in the cribs, the first time they pulled up and I found them standing,  the excitement of picking out the cribs when I was still pregnant.  I got a little teary eyed.  I guess, in a way, I was letting go of my "babies".

Here's the bedding that I decided on.  Kendall's is on the left and has red & yellow dots and Chris' is on the right with navy and light blue dots.  I'm so happy with it and it goes perfectly with the room decor so I didn't have to change a thing!

I brought the kids home from school and immediately took them up to the room.  I've been talking to them about their "big kid beds" for almost 2 weeks but I wasn't really getting any reaction so I didn't know if they understood what would happen.

When they walked in, their faces lit up and they both ran to their beds and jumped in!  They were SO excited.  I let them play for about 15 minutes and they just kept climbing in and out of their beds and then they would run to the other bed and climb in and look at each other.  Oh, and the giggling!

I told them we had to go back downstairs for dinner but they didn't want to leave their room.  I finally got them down the stairs and for the rest of the evening, they both kept saying "Night night?". 

When bedtime finally came, we stuck to our normal routine and took them up about 30 minutes early.  It took an extra hour before they finally settled down.  They were so excited and just did not want to lay down.  By 8:30, they were both asleep.  I didn't know what to expect but was prepared for a restless night.

At 9:30, Kendall woke up screaming.  When I got to their room, she was sitting in bed.  I don't know if she had a bad dream or woke up and didn't know where she was but she was so scared.  I got her calmed down after 10 minutes but wasn't sure if she would want to get back in bed.  I walked over and asked if she was ready and my little trooper said "yes" in her little girl voice and went back to sleep in her big girl bed.

At 11:30, Christopher woke up.  DH got him and 10 minutes later, he was back to sleep in his big boy bed.

They both woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning which is a little earlier than normal. 

Round 2 happened yesterday at naptime and that didn't go quite as well.   2 attempts and we only got a 40 minute nap squeezed in before leaving for their cousin's birthday party.   They just wouldn't stay in the beds. 

The kids fell asleep on the way home last night and I knew they'd be exhausted so we put them in their PJs before we got in the car.  Easy transfer to the beds and they were out!

Christopher did wake up at 4:00 this morning and DH got up with him.  At 6:00, I looked at the monitor and saw DH laying on the floor between the beds.  He said it was the only way he could get Chris to sleep.

Naptime today happened at 11:30am and it only took about 10 minutes.  I was able to tuck them in and leave the room this time without them getting out of the beds at all.

I think we're making progress.  Let's hope it continues and we get a good night's sleep before work and school tomorrow.

Here's some pics of the finished room.  I took them with my iPhone so the quality isn't great:

And, since it's been awhile.  Here's some pics of my "big kids":