Aarrrghh, matey!

(I couldn’t make this up, even if I wanted to).


One morning, a few months ago, we were finishing up our morning routine before heading out the door for work/daycare.

I was putting my daughter’s shoes on and heard my son in the dining room. I knew he was in the dining room because both kids like to play with the handles on the china cabinet.

After all, the handles do clink and jiggle. And who doesn’t like things that clink and jiggle, for cryin’ out loud?

I didn’t think anything of it because they play with the handles all of the time.

And, the kids were too short to open the drawers. Plus, the drawers are super heavy because I have them stuffed with our good utensils.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son running out of the dining room, toward me. And, then passing me and heading toward the front door.

He was running like a pirate, with one hand straight up in the air.

And, he was holding something.

Again, not alarming because they are always holding something.

You know. Like, my bra, my shoes, the TV remote. You name it. They hold it.

It took me a minute to focus and to comprehend what the item was.


OH MY GOD!

He was running with a 6 inch butcher knife in his hand.

No lie!

I immediately ran after him and tried to grab his hand so I wouldn’t grab the blade. He spun around like a character from a karate movie and aimed the knife at me.

“Whoa, buddy! Mommy doesn’t want to go down like that!”

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  And, I couldn't believe that it was happening with me standing right there!
Thankfully, I was able to grab the knife and lesson learned.

The drawers are now empty.

Fathers Day Weekend

This was technically hubby's 3rd Father's Day since we got pregnant. 

We started the weekend with a little splish splashing in the kiddie pool .

And, then we went to the park.  The kids LOVE to swing and slide.

This is one of my favorite photos from the day.  They are truly BFFs:

Sunday, we went to my BIL house and spent the day with my husband's family.  The kids had a blast playing with their cousins and were so exhausted when we got home.

The weekend also brought some new words from the kids.  Christopher started saying "Dot dice" (not nice) and "Stop It" while shaking his finger.   At least the kid knows when stuff bothers him, I guess.   Kendall now knows 2 colors (yellow and purple) and I think she's up to 50 words in her repertoire.

What to do when your 20 month old twins are smarter than you

I never thought it would happen this soon.

I’ve suspected it for the last few months but it became apparent this past weekend.

My kids are smarter than me.

(You’re probably thinking, “Duh”! After all, they did outsmart me by locking me out of the house last week).   Look below for that post.

My kids began learning sign language in their daycare as soon as they started in January. Something, I’m guessing, that is probably done in a lot of daycares. After a few weeks, they started using the signs at home. I quickly realized I was ill equipped so I briefly brushed up on some of the more common signs like “More”, “All Done” and “Please”.

I delighted in the fact that I was being a good mom. A smart mom.

How smart am I that I can now communicate with my kids? I learned sign language (albeit 3 signs, by hey! It’s more than I knew last year)!

Saturday, I was putting the kids down for a nap and out of the blue, Kendall started saying “Daddy” and put her thumb to her forehead with her fingers extended. And then she said “Mommy” and put her thumb to her chin with her fingers extended. She did it several times and I thought to myself, “Are those the signs for mommy and daddy”?

After I left their room, I went straight to the computer and looked it up. Sure enough, she was signing!

And, I felt like an idiot. My 20 month old knows more than I do!

Kendall easily has 30 actual words in her vocabulary now. Those are the legible ones – I’m sure she has more that I just can’t understand. Christopher is not quite as linguistic (he’s more concerned with tackling the cat and jumping from the ottoman to the couch. Who has time for stupid words)?

(By the way, don’t you hate not understanding the “jibberish”? The kids will be talking to me and all I can do is shake my head and say, “Uh huh”. And, they look at me like they are thinking, “Look stupid. The question wasn’t a yes/no question. I require the answer to be in full essay form so I can gauge your comprehension”).

Then, I started to freak out a little. What if the kids have been talking to us the whole time and we’re too stupid to understand because we don’t know sign language?

What if she’s telling me she wants to be a doctor and I’m across the room eagerly waving back at her saying “Goodbye to you too”.

During the weekend, I also noticed that Kendall kept repeating what sounded like “Abbo”. I thought she already knew “apple” because she says that when she sees a picture of one. Is she saying “apple” and I’m misunderstanding?

What in the world is she saying?!

I asked the teacher when I picked them up Monday afternoon and she said, “Oh, she’s saying sapo. It’s Spanish for frog. I sing a song about sapo”.

Just like that, the teacher knew. And, I didn’t.

Stupid mommy. Now my kids know Spanish too?!

The 6 years of French that I took isn’t looking like a smart idea right about now.

I’ll be signing up for Toddler 101 in the fall so I can be as smart as my twins!

Ohhhhhpen the door!

We keep a pretty tight schedule in the morning.
DH gets the kids up at 5:10 am while I jump in the shower.
He feeds them breakfast and gets them dressed while I get ready for work.
And, 3 times per week, he goes to the gym at 6:00 am.
Between 6 and 6:30, I finish getting ready, pack my lunch, make my coffee and we’re out the door no later than 6:40.

Sounds pretty routine, right? It is.

Until this morning.

I always take my stuff to the car first (purse, laptop, supplies for daycare) and then come back in the house to get the kids.

I did the same thing this morning. Except, when I tried to come back in the house, the storm door was locked.

With both kids staring at me through the glass.

I kept pulling on the door hoping, just hoping, that maybe it was stuck?

“Oh, who am I kidding? The damn door isn’t stuck. One of the kids just locked me out of the house”!

Christopher! Turn the lock. Tuuuuurrn the looooccckkkk. C’mon buddy. Be a smart boy! Just reach up and turn the lock.

Kendall! Open the door, sweetie! Ohhhhpen the dooorrrrrrr.

My mind starts racing.

My neighbor has a key but not to the storm door.
Are there any other doors open? No, of course not because I just walked through to make sure everything was locked.
If I call DH, will he answer his phone? Probably not. Who carries a cell phone with them when they are at the gym?

OK. Worst case, DH will be home in 30 minutes. Oh good God! Can I really sit on the front porch for 30 minutes and watch the twins destroy the house without being able to do anything about it?

Meanwhile, the twins are getting restless. Christopher is just staring at me, nose pressed against the glass with this look like, “What in the world are you doing? Why aren’t you coming inside”?

Kendall is getting upset and starts crying. She doesn’t understand why I’m playing this game.

“Stop your crying”, I snap. “I’m the one that’s locked out!”

Ok, think Suzanne. Think.

I look at the kitchen window. It’s a box window and the bottom of it sits just above my waist. I know the one storm window doesn’t quite lock all the way. I wonder if I can pry it open from the outside?

I worked my fingers around the edge and one corner starts to give a little.

And, then I pry it open just enough to get my fingers in. And, WHA LA!

It slides up and I’m staring at an open window!

OK, that’s great but, how am I going to climb in? I looked around the front yard and briefly thought about pulling my car into the front yard so I could stand on it.

Because THAT wouldn’t attract ANY attention.

Finally, I see a flower pot. The flower pot that I totally wanted to plant flowers in but instead, it’s growing a nice, lush clumping of weeds.

I flipped it over and tried to stand on it. Well, teter is a better word.

Like a circus bear on the high wire.

And then I think to myself, “Really? You pick TODAY to wear white pants”? Seriously.

I fling my left leg over the window frame and for about 10 seconds, I’m standing there straddling the window.

I can’t believe I’m doing this right now.

I’m able to touch the kitchen floor and I hoist myself up and into the kitchen.

Tah Dah! And for my next trick…..

And, just like that, we’re back on schedule and in the car by 6:45.

Don’t mess with a Mama of twins. We know how to keep things rolling without missing a beat!