I need to vent to the world of TTCing women!
*Disclaimer: I love my partner to death! She is very supportive and very understanding but...she doesn't get why I'm soooo obsessive about this whole charting, temping, counting, looking, prodding, journaling, cycle thing and why I have a hard time not thinking about it! Tonight she was talking to her brother and when she got off the phone I couldn't help but ask...
"So (treading lightly cause I know she doesn't like this question), I know you hate when I ask, but do the boys know that we're planning on IUI next cycle?"
"Yeah, I mean, they know they need to get the blood work done and stuff and that it's coming up soon."
"But, don't you think we should double check and make sure they know it's coming up VERY soon?"
"I haven't had a chance to get in depth about it yet. He's had a stressful week and I don't want to add that as well."
I let it drop.
I understand it's hard to bring the "I need your sperm" subject up, but I'm starting to get edgy regarding the nearing cycle coupled with having no REAL confirmation. I'm starting to feel like this cycle may not happen because there may not be enough pre-warning for him OR the blood work won't be in on time.
I also try to convey to her that since we will be starting Clomid, I HAVE to know before I call the doc. I don't want to take drugs if there aren't going to be any swimmers!!
A while later we were standing in the bathroom while she was getting ready for work when I brought the subject back up and stated:
"I'm thinking I'll have to tell the Dr. I peaked the day before my FTMT Peak, because otherwise she will want to insem too late."
"Yeah, you mentioned that the other day. Can't we talk about something else? Is that ALL we have to talk about? We talk about this all the time. You're obsessing. Don't obsess!"
~~Silence~~
"The car will be ready on Monday." I say as she laughs because we had already talked about this earlier today.
Don't obsess!! Yeah, easier said than done! Let's see if you can get TTC out of your mind when your day goes like this:
0430 take temperature go back to sleep until
0530 pee on a stick for the FTMT
0600 make tea because you quite coffee for the pregnancy
0730 get online and enter data to your TTC chart
1300 stop drinking water and don't pee so you can pee on a stick at home
1400 enter more data online
1530 get home and rush to the bathroom to pee on a stick
1700 go to the gym and work out the muscles needed for childbirth
2100 go to bed to start it all over again
AND throughout the day eat healthy to loose weight for pregnancy
AND go to any Dr. appointments needed for TTC
AND guesstimate when your next period is going to start and when O may happen
AND answer the "Are you trying yet?" question from the people who know
AND continuously see pregnant women and babies everywhere!
Go ahead try it? I Dare you....hmmmm are you having a hard time not thinking about it? Come on it can't be THAT hard! Really? You wouldn't say.
And let's face it...here is an example of my office story for today:
"I wrapped the bosses presents to his wife for her birthday today."
And your shift story for today:
"We went to a stabbing last night and we had to rush the guy to the hospital. Whoa! He was bleeding all over the place."
Hmmmm...sounds like my story isn't even worth mentioning!! It makes it hard to have other things to talk about when I'm working in an office with ONE other person and NO foot traffic. And on top of that my partner is a freakin' paramedic whom saves lives in one of the busiest cities in the US!! SHEEESH! The best work story I ever had was when we were trying to trap Gary the Mouse!!
~shrug~
Maybe I AM obsessing too much. Maybe I AM the only woman TTCing that thinks about it this much. But I tell ya, I can't help it! And as the time gets closer and closer the worse it seems to get.
Thanks for the ear. It really does help. And any EMS/FIRE/POLICE wives out there...send me a shout out.
