Let You be You

Thanks to Kelly Diels and her funny fabulous blog, an inspirational reminder type of quote just became sacred to me:


Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.- Harold Whitman

This quote is a summation of the purpose of my blog. Thanks Kelly!

On Practicing Yoga and Yoga Abstinence, Understanding Why Your Monkey Shouldn’t Get His Way

I notice when I drag myself to yoga class -- yes sometimes it is really like pulling the dead weight of my body -- I am always happy I went. In fact, I’m always happy right when I arrive. The vibe is very pleasant, the lighting is almost always nice (barring the strange yoga class I once attended at a YMCA gymnasium! Eeek! I won’t even start on the horrible acoustics), Arriving to yoga class always has me looking forward to the stretches and challenges yoga postures bring about for me. Even when I practice at home, I still get put into a calm state when going through the motions and breathing with yoga asana.

On the flip side, the side that has been most typical as of the last year, I will abstain from going or practicing solo. This phenomenon is also known as: “make up various excuses as to why now is not a good time to go.” Its true yoga schedules may not be ideally tailored to the rest of our lives’ schedules, but c’mon out of 7 days in a week I can make up excuses for all of them? Yes! I can! If you need an excuse-maker, well…nevermind. Let’s face it, we can all get really good at making excuses, finding reasons for anything, and telling stories. However, I’m not going to beat myself or you (yes you) up over this. That’s just what the human mind does. Ironically, yoga practice slows down the pace of your mind so you don’t pay so much attention to all that jabbering story all the time and you wind up with more peace overall.

You may be tempted at this point to argue that you really value your mind and its great powers. I’m not here saying the mind is useless. Sure the mind does you some good, but I’d argue it’s more trouble overall for most people. That is, unless you know how to tame its monkey ways. “Monkey mind” is the term meditation practitioners use to describe how the mind jumps from thought to thought. Like a monkey swinging in the trees…branch to branch, just gliding along, then other times bouncing around. The awesomeness of consciousness comes into play when you can learn how to respond appropriately to your monkey swings and also tame your monkey to go sit in the corner while you collect yourself. By the way, this is all still an imaginary monkey I’m using as a metaphor for the uncontrollable thoughts in your head…there’s not really a monkey in your head. Ok, you knew that.

Alas, I think the real problem is it’s my monkey trying to trick me into not practicing yoga. They monkey wants to stay and play, swing around, jump, frolic, flail, and screech for attention. Yoga practice works to tame the monkey, to quiet the mind. When the monkey makes up excuses to not practice, he’s really just preserving his playground. Poor monkey. But see here’s the best part! The monkey isn’t REAL so you don’t have to feel bad for him. When put this way, seems like an easy choice to tell your monkey to give it a rest and go grab some peace and expanded consciousness like your life depends on it. By the way, this principle can be applied to anything (like yoga) that brings you peace and stillness.

Pamela Slim May Just Have it Figured Out!

Reading today's post on Pamela Slim's Escape From Cubicle Nation today struck a nerve for me. I venture to say it even struck a chord. A whole chord of nerves. Pam not only speaks to me in my recent endeavor to kick my ass back into regular yoga and exercise practice, but also in her very compelling outline of how getting back on the treadmill (so to speak) is akin to the practices to use while escaping the day job.

Here's what I know. Lucky me, I know I really want to write. But what on earth would that be? I know I enjoy writing creative nonfiction. That is extremely broad. So what do I do? Freeze! Nada. Zilch. Void. So sad...so empty. So not proud of myself!

Her section titled "You aren't crazy if you panic while trying to get started" definitely did the nerve-chord striking on me. Go ahead, follow the link above and read her rockin' article. Basically, she recommends writing "drivel" if that's what it takes to get started. Wow. I never thought of that....

She may just totally have this whole 'picking-one-foot-up-and-putting-it-in-front-of-the-other' thing figured out! Let's hope. I'm committed to trying this.

Thoughts on "The Grass is Always Greener"

Today upon walking the dog in mid-30 degreeish chill, I found myself wishing. Wishing for that sunny spot. Wishing he would pick a sunny spot to do his business so I didn’t have to stand and shiver in the cooler shade. Thankfully here in the desert, we still seem to have sun no matter what (minus an occasional rainy day), but the winter sun is scarce anyhow. For certain it is not always present during the twice daily dog walking ritual. Shocking, I know..but the dog’s bio break times do not shift with the seasons!

Back to my wishing for warmth…I’d recently agreed to myself to make note when I’m not being present in any way. In reality, who of us really is actually present even half of the day? Probably none, unless you happen to be reading this from a monastery in Tibet. Fact is, it’s a lofty goal. However, my aim is to find happiness, creativity, and momentum inside of the grounding that being present provides. My aim is not to achieve some monk-like satori all the time (though that would be cool). One of the ways I lose presence is by wishing for some better option that I don’t currently have. Why does the mind do this? I am not entirely sure. I think when discomfort arises, it’s only a natural “thought” that occurs. I’m learning to distinguish thoughts from the real me. Thinking about this wish I was taken back to July of this year when I was walking the dog at dusk. Though it had just started to get dark, it was still very hot. Super hot. It had been somewhere over 114 during the day and I was wishing for a cooler climate on that particular walk.

I remember walking by the community pool, and I could hear kids playing. As they splashed and laughed, I was envious of their obvious joy and relief the pool provided them on this sweltering day. I was downright jealous of those kids. Then god showed up. I say this because only seconds later, as the dog and I continued down the path, sprinklers started to bubble up and spray…in the grass right next to where we were headed. I immediately started to trot, then jog, right over to these sprinklers. I walked us both right through a corner full of mist and then back into the dry hot air. Normally being wet with your clothes on would be felt as discomfort, and I think the dog was none too keen about my choice. Yet this particular time, I only felt relief and pleasure at being doused with cold water on this hot evening. I saw this brief showering opportunity as a victory, a blessing, grace provided to me.

I did not necessarily deserve such relief, but I was given it anyway. Moments like these can renew our faith that there is beauty and grace to be found, no matter what the moment, what the temperature, or how perfect we think somewhere else is. Fact is, you are where you are. The good part is that wanting can be used as a reminder for us to get present, to see things that are in fact wondrous about where you are right now. And now. And now.

Aaaah presence.

What ways do you lose presence or find yourself again?

Thank goodness there is yoga. I challenged myself to show up and there's something about that...always turns out good.

Lack of Posting, Lack of Commitment?

It's been over two months since I've posted. I've had plenty of things to say, to be sure. I've been entrenched in taking on some small writing projects, which now seem to have temporarily subsided. More importantly though, I've also been mucking around in my own messes in life. Only recently noticing that I haven't been consistently paying attention to me and what energizes me. Fluctuating between living through others and living the day-to-day -- sans much exciting inspiration. yawn...right? When I look at how I see myself, how loved ones see me, it's not a boring person. Yet in many ways, I have been boring lately.

I'm facing a new commitment. A new commitment to pay attention to me. In the past I've felt like a good me is one who is helpful to others and needs to focus on fixing external problems. Yet this has only created an internal problem. A me who isn't present very often. A me who isn't able to actually be effective at giving myself to others...because I'm not me enough. Make sense?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving week, here's a great mood-lifting site to be thankful for: 1000 Awesome Things. I hope they don't stop at 1000.

I'm also thankful for noticing my lack of me-ness, above. I'm thankful that I can wake up and make a new fresh commitment that speaks from the heart, for the heart.

Inspirational Quote

Being intelligent is not being studious. It's knowing how to be fulfilled in all circumstances.

-Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Really Digging the Destuckification

I've recently become reacquainted with Havi Books' blog, The Fluent Self. Not only do I like her whole purpose and concept of "unstucking" yourself from unhelpful patterns in your life, I really like her approach and communication style. Not only is this the type of influence I needed to find right now but I also find her to be personally inspirational and motivating. I downloaded her free sample of the "Emergency Calming Techniques" product and she's got some great things to share to the world. (by the way, no one is paying me to say this.) Thanks Havi!

Anatomy of a Posting

After publishing my post yesterday about my great triumph over fear and self-doubt...I sort of felt like a fraud. Not in the sense that I wrote anything untrue, but I felt I did not give enough credence to the very real self-esteem blow and discomfort my fear-induced inner critic caused me for several days. I also failed to mention that I had no real clue about my own effective recovery process while it was happening. I know I wrote about how my fears did start to take hold and I began to question what was really going on, then I began to challenge the fear by visualizing my own success and keeping my eyes on the prize, as it were...yadda yadda. We all love happy endings, right?

Well, what's really funny is that when I sat down to write that post, I wasn't fully aware even of what had transpired between my fear and me. I knew I felt better...yes, that part was salient for me. Yet when the fingers first hit the keyboard, I assumed I was about to write about how this fear came up for me when I started to dip more of myself into the juice of life. Simple as that. No part of me was really aware of the how and why I actually felt better, more confident, less fearful. Until I started writing about it. Literally, the very construction of that post led me to do the self analysis to see how I'd gone about shutting up the fear monger that lurks.

Innnnnnnnteresting, right? Perhaps not. As an adult, I've always found journaling, any type of writing really, to be instrumental for my thinking processes. To honor my fear abolishing epiphany's true origins, I didn't want that last post to come off like I was this enlightened person who just totally knew how to conquer fear and by golly, I'd set out to do it -- and succeeded! That is absolutely not how it happened. I know now that me responding to my own fears by staying focused on my dreams is what allowed those very fears to shut up and go back to time out where they belong. However, at the time when that was happening, I was not consciously aware of any of this. Through the process of writing that post I allowed myself to understand my own recovery steps and how it happened. Or so I think!

I seem to not have a very full picture of self-awareness until I write. This is perhaps why I crave to write the way I do. Can I get this type of self realization without writing? Should I? Does anyone else experience this?

Using Bad Feelings to Get Closer to Your Dreams

Putting my feelers out into the universe and turning dreams into actions has caused me a lot of great feelings....and then some not-so-great sensations. As for the great, I'm finding there is plenty of opportunity out there for success. As for the not-so...well, upon getting myself involved with a potential gig to build up some experience (while also supporting a good cause), those old familiar feelings of inadequacy, fear, and doubt began to surface.

The good news is, shortly after they began to form their nasty destructive recurring thoughts in my mind, I started to call them into question and see these enemies for what they were -- a defense mechanism and not reality. They didn't go down without a fight, afterall, they did cause me some short-term procrastination until I fully convinced myself they were not real, but only feelings. Surprisingly, the bad feelings actually allowed me a new opportunity to think more upon formulating what it is I really want.

Here's how!

When battling my inner-critic who was busy saying "who are you kidding!", "you're not good enough to take this on", or "what are you thinking?", I was confronted in such a way that I began to visualize further into my dream outcomes. This sort of manifested as a litmus test for the inner-enemies' validity. The more I'd question myself, I'd respond to that thought with happy dream thoughts keeping my ultimate goals in mind. Pretty soon the inner critic became a very quiet voice.

All good things in the end, really. Now I think, who says fear and the inner critic have to be your enemy? They're only your enemy if you listen to them and believe their story. If you can view them as merely just thoughts born out of living your life, you can embrace their presence as a tool to grow further. The trick is to keep pushing with the dream, even if you sort of might believe the deceitful doubting thoughts --- just a smidge. A little faith in this process can take you far. Seeing the doom and gloom of self-doubt is only a sign you're on the forefront of something new, exciting, and juicy!

Reasons to Not Judge Intuition By Its Cover

Since giving up my control over the question of where to flow my creative writing endeavors -- I've been getting glimpses into possibilities like never before. Things are still formulating for me...and this is good. I've been thinking on this process, since think is what I tend to do!

Have you ever been like me at times and thought you could outsmart the laws of nature, so to speak? What I mean is, I've gone through much of life trying to define, control, and figure out most everything. Sure I've learned to let many things go...but the things I've deemed "important" in life like goals, aspirations, and my life's path -- have often got me mentally tongue-tied. If there were such a thing.

Here's what it comes down to: I've put too much weight on the importance of living life itself.

Sure it is important, but what I'm seeing now is that the beauty and adventure in life is letting yourself go inside of it. I've always thought "I must figure it out, and have the right answer", before I can move on. Gosh, so much pressure, right?! But yet, I can see that it is the mystery within the unfolding that is life's gift. I'm not suggesting to simply toss your hands up and passively live without any aim whatsoever. What I'm saying is that it's been my practice to over-analyze to the point of paralysis. To attempt to control what cannot be controlled. To falsly endeavor to answer what is a feeling, intuition -- which is...unanswerable.

Yet I'm such a good intuitor. Why is it so hard to trust in that part of yourself? Perhaps it is because our intuitive knowledge doesn't always jive with logical thought and standard practices. The fact I am analyzing intuitive information using intellectual thought is at the very crux of the matter. At this moment, though, I can feel that this a gift to myself that I've previously not allowed myself to realize. I've "proven" that intuition is worth following; despite what it may look like on the surface.

The universe has started to answer my last question -- Already!

Or so I think...

This posting here on Copyblogger accidentally fell into my lap when perusing Danielle LaPorte's ever-wise, uplifting , and inspirational blog and subsequent twitter site. The Copyblogger posting talks about the motive of one's writing, specifically when blogging and about how it can come from either a self-serving motive or in service of one's audience. Though I don't necessarily see a blog as my end all be all, it's undoubtedly going to provide initial and ongoing value for both me -- and if I'm lucky-- for others. It really makes perfect sense that if you're blogging just to make revenue, the content would wind up diluted, weak, and drab. To this end, being in service of others is actually self-serving, only it's a backwards way of getting there. A difference that makes all the difference in the world.

What's really funny about this find in a without-a-doubt- non-coincidental way, is that the blogger who directed me to this posting on providing valuable content as gifts to your readership...was a blogger who provides this for me. What a perfect circle.

Though this doesn't answer my question entirely about what to focus on, it does give me a motive to live by. I also got to see my question start to be answered much faster than expected....Priceless. I'm learning that you really do get what you ask for.

How to Determine a Creative Path

Living out my professional life for 10 years has brought me to the distinct conslusion about what I enjoy most. Creating with words is where it's at for me. I know I'm not the best at it, and have a ton to learn, but I really feel at my peak-- and most invigorated through the act of writing (and from the finished product).

Yet that leaves me with an important question. Just what is it that I am to write about? I feel like an expert on very few things, and some of which I really don't want to spend time writing about! Yet that begs yet another question (I'm good at the question-thing, can you tell?)...does one have to be an expert to begin to write about something? Perhaps not.

I simply don't have the answer. The title of this post begs an answer. I know I like to write about life and do journaling. I know I do not like to do magazine-style writing, I don't even begin to know what it would be like if there was a novel for me to write -- so what is it to be? Perhaps posing the question to the universe is all that I need to focus on for now.

Flying Toast Revisited

Today the toast ejected out of one slot and landed squarely in the other. I saw it out of the corner of my eye....wishing I'd seen it directly but it gave me a morning giggle once again. Thanks magic toaster!

Appreciating Small Things

There's nothing grumpier than me first thing in the morning. By "first thing", I am referring to approximately the first 1.5 hours I am awake. Could be an exaggeration, but for those unfortunate enough to have known me in the early mornings...it's my most unpleasant time. This morning was not much different, until my english muffin flew out of the toaster and landed with a small "plop" right onto the counter. This gave me a chuckle. I know, it's a small silly little thing, but what isn't funny about that scene? Are you a total grouch that you're not laughing if a small piece of toast goes unexpectedly (because I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to do this) flying out of the toaster and lands on your counter? This happened today, and it probably won't happen tomorrow or the next, or for a very long time for that matter -- so by that logic, I'm a winner!

There's opportunities like this all day long that nearly always go unnoticed as we live in our worlds of importance, to-do's, deadlines, and stress. Like stopping to smell the roses, I personally like to stop and laugh at silliness in life. Winning things like the random toast flying isn't a big deal...it's true, but if you let it get to you and actually make you smile, your day will be that much brighter.

Unexpected Inspiration

A small commandment I spotted on the Happiness Project Toolbox gave me a lightbulb moment. It said to "be the person you want to be with and fall in love with" (emphasis added). I love two aspects of this commandment: 1)It focuses on being as the active means of "having"...a truth in life I've found hard to comprehend at times, but impossible to avoid; 2)I can't think of a better motivation to be your best self, than to put yourself into the shoes of a person who loves you, an iteration of the golden rule most appealingly put.

Perhaps this inspiring thought has been out there for me to notice before and I've either missed it or dismissed it. I'm noticing now. Sending a thank you to the "interwebs" and all of its participants for this gift of sharing wisdom.

Return to Meditation

A post I came across on White Hot Truth today reminded me of a Buddhist meditation called tonglen. I've practiced tonglen before, but was rekindled by Danielle's description and encouragement of the practice. My current area of focus is being present, and what's more enabling of present-making than a meditation practice? Perfect timing.

So the deal with Tonglen (if you haven't already linked over to White Hot Truth, which is fabulous, you should after reading this!) is that it is a meditation practice where you inhale pain and suffering and exhale goodness and compassion. Sounds odd from a "how can this possibly be good for me?"-perspective, doesn't it? But yet, when you try it, just try it...you will realize it actually doesn't hurt you. You learn that you can project any crazy good vibe you like...and likewise you can take any level of suffering just as much. Is this the whole point behind the practice? Perhaps it's a way to send positive energy into the world, thereby causing a better place?

Admitedly, I'm not sure, even after having read up on Pema Chodron's guiding explanations. I intend to try this more rigorously than I have in the past and report back on my findings.

Getting up at 5:30 to make time for yoga is definitely do-able! Summer's early light makes a difference. Namaste!

Staying in Motion When Unsureness Hits

I became inspired today when reading a recent post on White Hot Truth on the "I don't know conspiracy". I would be a complete fraud if I didn't admit I've been my own victim to this very downfall many times. When looking at my own life, and recent surge of happiness and empowerment, where previously I found little, this is one of the areas that's really made a difference for me.

So you come across a lousy situation or state of mind and you simply stand in "I don't know what to do"...now what?, Danielle's posting offers up a very good point. That mentality doesn't serve you. However, that mentality is the first to creep in during the tough points in life. This is the mentality that has people in a lot of unhappy situations.

Reading the post has made me conscious of times when i'm confused but yet empowered and instead say "I will figure it out" (even when I really don't know yet)! I'm then coming from a stance of preparedness and a motive of action. The inactivity of simply stating "I don't know" and then doing nothing from there is of no use if it isn't followed by resolution to find a new possibility.

Text Blogging Adventures to Come

Today I activated the blog via text feature...I plan to text over short (one-liners) of wisdom, gratitude, or things that just plain make me smile. I often think of things to share with the blogosphere; or merely just to remember, throughout the day. I figure this will lead to not only more regular updates, but more spontaneous bursts of goodness.

Share your uplifting one-liners with me!

Finding Happiness

With a title "Finding Happiness" looming above, you must think this entry must have some magnificent, yet simple, gems of human wisdom in it. I doubt that, but I will say that rehearsing happiness does have it's privileges. I haven't got an entry in this whole month...but many life-blog thoughts have been appearing in my daydreams and journaling, so it's time I shared.

When I think on rehearsing happiness it sounds like either one of two things: a)This girl is nuts to think she can just find happiness by rehearsing it; or b)This statement is so simple, it could easily be overlooked for foolishness. I think the reality is somewhere in between. Most definitely the average unhappy person sleep-walking around isn't paying attention to their own ability to have a happy life. Thus, argument b is in play. Yet the foremost conclusion, the one where I'm a delusional woman thinking she can simplify the difficulties of life into a glib little statement - is also true. Let me caveat that with, it's only true if you want it to be.

So, when I am sleep walking through the muck of life, I'm guilty of believing in that cynical conclusion. I will report that when I catch myself sitting around in my own muck (aka: pooping in your own fishtank, if I were a fish in this metaphor), I am shorter in my bounce-back to a happy reality than I previously was. I've never considered myself a happy person, until now. I'm starting to notice the force of optimism and the strong will for happiness I've actually had moving in me for quite some time. Whether I realized it or not, I was born with this ability. I also believe we all are born with this ability.

What does it take for one to tap into her or his own well-spring of happiness? Go on, try it. I dare you to catch yourself feeling hopelessly stuck in the muck, and then just try this on. Try on that if you start to just "be like you're happy", you will start "doing things that a happy person does" and 'lo and behold, before you can make sense of it or start to complain again, you'll have a happy self on your hands. This isn't instantaneous and of course life still has pain. It's the suffering that is optional. What do you have to lose?

Do you have particular methods for getting yourself out of the doldrums? I find reading other blogs such as the Happiness Project are a reliable source of inspiration when I need to refuel my own happy charge.

Concentration is hard, except once you're actually doing it

The topic of focus I'm closing out with this post is the yogic principle of concentration practice, or dharana. A good write up on dharana can be found here. When first evaluating this principle, I could readily find examples in my life where my concentration on yoga asana and breathing practice has been able to seep into my "living life" in a positive way. During yoga practice, the opportunity to practice concentration is ongoing. Concentration, which is quintessentially "being in the moment", is most evident during balancing poses or physically difficult poses where strength or flexibility are challenged.

I'm fortunate enough to say that living through these concentration challenges while in the safe confines of a yoga asana practice have allowed me to view myself and my capabilities in a much more positive light outside of the yoga practice. For starters, if you can practice focusing on breathing long enough to hold a pose you didn't think you could do, or balance on one leg for an extended period of time...just think of what miracles you can stretch yourself into while living life!

When completing tasks of everyday life over the last two and a half weeks, I often reminded myself to return to the state of dharana, or concentration. The fact I had to remind myself shows I have much more room to practice. This is a good thing, as I get to continue exploration of this principle. I love that the teachings of yoga allows you to respect where you are in the present, all while providing a positive context for growth inside of your already perfect self.

I find it most difficult to stay present and concentrated when I'm upset, anxious, or have any other type of negative emotion. If I'm in one of these states, it is helpful to if I can get to a state of peace by concentrating on the moment versus the upset. Afterall, all upsets in reality are just feelings about something that's already past. However, getting there, or trying to get there can be the tough part! Using the negative feeling as a reminder is one way to train oneself to get back to the present, to focus on the now.

Namaste

Thoughts on Maitri Experiences (and lack thereof)

Practicing loving kindness towards oneself is an easy practice to forget. The last two weeks I found myself often forgetting this concept entirely and inevitably delved into the self-inflicted pains of blame, self-doubt, and frustration. However, the times I did remember the practice were well worth noting, as evidence to keep this principle alive no matter what. Though many times in life we can find plenty of reasons to not love ourselves (that may look different for each of us, but we all experience it), it ultimately does us no good.

For me, investigating the "why" behind self blame/hatred is reason enough to drop it altogether. As with all non self-kindness activities, it's merely a way to avoid responsibility for whatever it is that is going on in our lives we're associating the contempt. Blame in general acts as a diversion from dealing with reality. Hatred (especially when directed at the self) is a way for one’s ego to avoid attention on the matter at hand and instead focus on the separateness identified with the object (in this context, oneself). So why not turn that around and merely fess up those unappreciated attributes to ourselves instead? Learning from real or imagined self-inflicted dislike is much less painful than reliving such matters. Logically this makes sense, but I’ve found it can also be hard to remember.

In light of the human tendency to conveniently forget what's best for ourselves, I will cut to the chase on the reasons (benefits) to remember to apply the principle of Maitri. When I was able to access self love and kindness in times of pain, what I found was a sense of recognition of choice. When I needed it most, coming back to it was like having the experience of suddenly remembering a wonderful thing that had simply skipped my mind. I remembered the choice that I always have right inside of me to have reality occur differently. In all my moments of recognition, my case against myself was obliterated by the compassion, love, and reason I provided inside of that wonderful memory. When being with loving kindness with myself, I no longer felt agitated, uneasy, or blameful of myself -- or others.

Perhaps flexing this particular memory will work like exercise, as in muscle memory. The more I use it the more I'll remember to use it going forward. What do you find challenging or rewarding about the practice of loving kindness? Please share your thoughts in the Comments.

Meditation Getaways | Roundups Travel - DailyCandy

I subscribe to Daily Candy emails, and usually a fun or informative email comes in each weekday. They don't yet have my city as a specific focus area, but I appreciate their product information, fashion, and travel stories. Today's struck me as quite appealing because it's all about meditation getaways. Doesn't that sound nice? Given the state of things, I think I'll be opting for the guided meditation recordings by Jon Kabat-Zin for now! But I may also save up for a special trip to one of their recommended retreats. Check the link below for details and other ideas.

Meditation Getaways Roundups Travel - DailyCandy

The First Challenge: Commitment to Yoga (Asana) Practice for Health

The first two weeks of the year I was still formulating my process for this blog. I think it all began at the closing of 2008 when I was reading one of my favorite blogs, The Happiness Project. Gretchen’s piece on creating your own commandments as New Year’s Resolutions struck a chord for me. Instead of making all these specific goals to fulfill an obligatory New Year’s tradition that most people fail to live out, why not take the opportunity to create a way of life, sort of like rules to live by, for the New Year (and beyond) based on what you want from life? So after some thought and inspiration from within, those I love, and perhaps a bit of Benjamin Button, I posted my commandments on Gretchen’s blog and made it real for myself. I also shared my commandments with some friends to make it stick even more. The context of my commandments allowed for a space where I could actually formulate this living memoir idea of life exploration I call my Creating Alive blog.

My Commandments:
Act the way I want to feel

Plan and do

Honor that love is all that's needed

Rehearse happiness

It's never too late

Say Yes

Be purposeful

Cut the losses

Return to laughter

Embrace failure

I think it’s a great idea for all of us to create these types of commandments. They could be established either internally or in writing. I personally believe in the power of writing things down, so that is my obvious preference.

One of the principles I’ve learned in life about being successful is it is a much easier path if you clean house first. This could be metaphorical or literally involve cleaning your car, desk, house, garage, etc. For me I had to come to terms with living inside my body the way I wanted to. I was still taking advantage of my youth and good fortune that I could look reasonably healthy without a consistent exercise program in place. So starting the first week of January, I began a commitment to be healthy with a yoga regimen. Thanks to Jeff for giving me a wonderful gift of yoga classes for Christmas, this made it a lot easier. I committed to one class per week, and warm up sun salutations every day. I’ve done consistent yoga in the past, but usually from a once/week going to class type of regimen. This whole concept of promising myself each and every day would have been overwhelmingly not possible in my previous not-as-purposeful life!

However, when looking at what I wanted (mental and physical health) inside of the application of some of my commandments ( “It’s never too late” , “Plan and Do”, among others to some degree), I was able to formulate a plan I could stick with and be successful in doing. I told myself I’d work on a certain number of sun salutations, plus whatever additional stretches I felt like each day of the week. Then the next week I’d add one more sun salutation to the mix until I reached the traditional 10 (Surynamaskar A and B), as is the standard.

Since embarking on this challenge, I have done at least my daily sun salutations and additional stretches and gone to one yoga class. Though I had to miss one day of a yoga class due to some wacky weekend scheduling, I feel remarkably successful. I also felt strong enough to do a 16 minute interval jog last night.

Upon review of my newfound success, I believe I’m more committed than ever because my heart is in the right place. I no longer feel like I have to do yoga or jog regularly because I should. I really want to do these things because of inspiration. Even inside of a difficult pose, longer run, or just a dark cold morning and I don’t want to get out of bed – I still feel inspired by the healthy life these actions provide me in return for my dedication. I already feel like I have more energy and physical stamina, but I also know this is just the beginning. I can already sense the old familiar power my yoga asana practice invites in the other aspects of life (mental and spiritual). Taking on physical exertion, practicing breathing sequences, and sticking to a regime are all a daily reminder of my internal strength and commitment to life itself. Now that goes way beyond a mere workout. I really could dedicate a blog solely to the benefits of yoga as a whole, so there will more on this later.

The Challenge

Every two weeks I will focus on a specific principle. It may be a spiritual, philosophical, or some sort of pop-psychology principle, to be determined by me. Each posting may or may not consist of my observations on the current principle, but the majority of them will be.

The reasoning behind choosing to select such an ambitious goal for myself is that I’ve found life to be better, even easier, when I’m focusing on something larger than the day-to-day concerns of my life. Even as my writings will always come from my vantage point, providing a guiding principle as a framework should prove to be fulfilling.

Inside of this task I’m giving myself, I can’t help but think, who am I to take such a thing on? Surely I will fail to live up to some expectation. However I soon rest easy as I remind myself of the whole thing about life being about enjoying the process and the only way to learn and grow is to fail along the way. But wait, then I worry further, what if I am so full of crap and people call me out on it? This one has me really terrified. We all want to be accepted by others. Yet the fact is, it’s impossible to please everyone. And so, with a heavy heart that is scared to open itself up to the world, I will embark.

Today’s google gadget “Quote of the day” is perfect for such an occasion, courtesy of Jack London: You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

The Beginning

I spontaneously got this idea to create a blog that will serve as a forum to share my experiences in taking on a purpose-driven life; which I’m beginning anew for this year. Sure I’ve taken seminars, been coached, and gone back to school for classes more times than I can count. All those times have been learning experiences that have gotten me to where I’m at today. What makes this time different? Well, now it feels more like all my living that’s been done so far has combined with my present self in such a way that I’m confident in my ability to actually live a purposeful life. This is compared to just trying it on and walking away. In a word, I haven’t done anything this drastic since I took on the Landmark Forum Introduction Leader training several years ago. Only now it’s different.

Now it’s as if all that I learned back then, and every other day before and since, has culminated in such a way that I’m coming from a place of being that is a contented person who can expand and grow. So, what will I explore?

Along with continuing to work full time in corporate America, getting married, and going to grad school, I will also be taking on the role of an ontologist of sorts, with myself as the focus. Ok, for those close to me, nothing new there, I’m often pondering this or that about life, what it all means, and how to relate to living. At this point, the distinction is: I have no clinging to any specific goal that I believe will magically improve life’s experience somehow. I’ve really absorbed that the living, the process, is where it’s at. So why not enjoy it, explore it, and write about it?

It’s been my experience that writing down thoughts is helpful in so many ways. First, it actually helps me process what it is that I’m mulling over and physically and emotionally experiencing. I truly feel as if creating sentences is much like speaking or chatting to a close friend, it helps me to know me. So why not share it and make myself accountable for continuing the joy? I will create a space where if others happen to stumble upon it and get something from it, then great! Or I could even get a response from someone that contributes back to me. And so goes the whole blogosphere. But in a word, it’s more like a soul-o-blog-o-sphere…or would that be a blog-o-soul?

Sure formal writing has it’s places…and that’s not my intention here. Much of what I will share will consist of ramblings. Don’t worry I’ll leave out my personal garbage ramblings; you know, the kind that might occur in one’s morning pages, espoused by the influential creativity guide, Julia Cameron. As a general rule, my topics will primarily be about living a life of purpose. To me that means being intentional, taking yoga, my health, and spirituality to new and meaningful levels, and being full of compassion and gratitude for myself and others in the process. Afterall, if you don’t enjoy the ride of life, what’s the point of aspiring to goals if I already know the story and outcome?