Life got so challenging that I forgot to post the birth story. My little fighter is going to be six months old in December, so here is his birth story:
It all started on Saturday night (June 14). It was late when I finally got to bed. As I laid down I felt a bit of a watery discharge. It was enough to make my legs wet, but not enough to wet my bed. I thought that it might be cm or may be a peed myself or something. I did have an uneasy feeling about it, but felt asleep very quickly with the thought that I'll ask my OB about it on Monday. On Sunday, June 15, I was at my parents with DS1. It was pretty hot outside, but I wanted to take DS1 for a walk, so we all went. DH stayed home to assemble the playground that we bought for DS1. The walk turned out a very long walk, plus midway DS1 became very clingy, he wanted to walk only with me and wanted only me to carry his electric tricycle that he was riding before. My parents did help a bit, but the walk was tiring. As we were approaching my parents house, I could feel some more watery discharge and at that point I just wanted to get to my house. Knowing how my mom feels about this whole situation, I didn't tell her anything. When we finally got home, I texted my friend and asked her what did it feel like when her water broke and did tell her about the situation. I told her that I was debating whether to go to the hospital at that time (Sunday evening) or wait until Monday for my OB appointment. She told me that it was better to go and check it out now. So I told DH that I really feel uncomfortable and want to check it out. I didn't want to make a fuss, so we called MIL and told her to come without explaining all the details.
At around 6 p.m. we arrived at the hospital where I was supposed to give birth. The assessment room was pretty empty (not like that time when I was here last with DS1). I was put on an uncomfortable bed (I hate those beds at the assessment room) with the monitors for the baby's heartbeat and contractions. They were happy to report that there were no contractions and the baby was happy as a clam. We were told that we should wait for the resident doctor to examine me, so we waited, and waited and waited.... I was still thinking it was nothing and we would be home soon. I did have a little hunch that it wouldn't be so, when the nurse who was to take care after the shift change at 7:30 p.m. introduced herself. It was the "angel" the nurse that I loved during DS1's birth. Could it be a coincidence...
At around 8:15 p.m. I sent DH home to put DS1 to bed, and of course, about 15 min later, the resident came in. She asked me if it was my first pregnancy, and I told her NO. I did tell her that DS1 was born at almost 41 weeks. She said that she wanted to examine me. Once she put a speculum in, and told me that she can see a lot of cm. She started cleaning it and then her face expression changed. She said something to the student that was with her and took out the speculum. She said that she is going to examine me very carefully which she did, and told me that I am 4 cm dilated with a bulging membrane. She also said that I would not be going home and she will be checking with the NICU at that hospital if they will be able to take care of my baby there or they have to move me. The first order of business was the steroid shot for the baby's lungs and it was given at 8:30 p.m. Then there was magnesium for baby's brain, and my angel nurse stayed with me while it was administered. I did get very hot and flashed from magnesium. I called DH and told him to not go back to the hospital but wait for my instructions. The next couple of hours were kind of a blur. I remember the resident coming back with the u/s machine to make sure that the baby is good and his position. He was head down. I also got some antibiotics. A doctor from my OBs practice also came by to see me to confirm the plan of action. I was told that they will be transferring me as the NICU at that hospital was not equipped to take care of a 29 week old baby. Eventually they told me that there was a bed at the hospital downtown and I'll be transferred there once an ambulance is available. I was happy with the choice of the hospital as my brother was born there at 28 weeks and he is going to be turning 16 this year.
Just after 10 p.m. the ambulance arrived. I called DH and told him to head downtown. The nurse and the resident were very concerned for me not to put any pressure on the membrane as it could burst, so they gently transferred me from the bed I was on to the gurney, and off in an ambulance I went. It was my first ride in an ambulance. I was still very hot from magnesium and was happy that there was AC in the ambulance that was blowing on me. The ride was uneventful. I was facing the wall, but I could see the back door with windows and was chit chatting with the medical personnel that was with me. It is funny that they asked the nurses at the first hospital whether it was confirmed that I have a bed and whether they were expecting me at the downtown hospital, but when we got to the admitting at the L&D the girl at the counter had no clue. She did call someone and they confirmed that everything was arranged, and I was transferred to a small room at the L&D.
I don't remember much what was going on there. A few nurses came and were taking down all the details. When DH came they sent him down to get me admitted and he had to get up and down a few times to get the correct information as the reception in my L&D room was very shitty. At some point a student and a doctor/resident/intern came, it turned out that we know the student, but we were comfortable discussing everything with her. I got more magnesium, and blood work, and some other drugs to calm the uterus, although they said that it could not stop the labour if it was in progress. Once everything was done and over with, I sent DH home as there was nothing happening. I didn't sleep a wink that night. I had a good nurse at night that would help me move from side to side when I needed it, re-positioning all the probes, moving my table and filling my glass with water.
In the morning (Monday, June 16th), I made sure that the nurse gives me the second round of steroids at exactly 8:30 a.m. They had a new computer system implemented, which was having some glitches and all of the requisitions on my file were erased; however, the nurse told me that she will give me the dose regardless as she knows how important it is to get them in time. Plus I was given more magnesium. Around 9:30 a.m. the decision was made that I can be transferred to the normal room in the area for preterm mommies. The time was going by but I was still in L&D and every nurse had a different reason why. One said that it was because I could feel some contractions/tightness (which their monitors were not picking up), the other was saying that they are waiting for the bed etc. I was a bit fed up. My parents came in a for a bit and then DH came. Finally, around 4 or 5 p.m. they transferred me to a room. Luckily, I got a bed by the window. But my happiness was short lived. Once we got to the room and I was settled, I sent DH home to be with DS1 after daycare. I still had business I had to finish so had my laptop with me, but couldn't do much as contractions returned. My sis came by and I gave her instructions on how to help me. The contractions were getting worse and I called DH to get back to the hospital ASAP. I told my sis that she is not leaving until DH comes back. I called a nurse a few times and told her that contractions are become very painful. They were about 10 minutes apart but lasted from 1 to 1.5 minutes. The nurse told me that the doctor is in the OR and she will get him to examine me as soon as he is available. Needless to say, I didn't do much work. The contractions were getting worse, the nurse brought the monitor, but it was not picking up the contraction, although she could feel them with her hands on my tummy. When the doctor finally arrived and checked me, I was already 7 cm dilated. We were having this baby sooner rather than later.
Back to L&D we went. It was a room just beside the one where we were in the morning. Right away I asked the nurse that I want an epidural, and she said that she would call anesthesiologist. In the meantime, she was trying to get my IV line going (which was done at the first hospital, and apparently, no the way they do it at the second hospital, so she was struggling), she finally decided to get the new line in and also took a few vials of blood. Eventually the anesthesiologist came in. She asked some questions and I told her that I want drugs now as I was in a lot of pain. The pain was getting intolerable plus it was going into my legs and they were getting numb. After all this, the anesthesiologist said that she needs blood work to be done and it would take about 40 minutes to process it and once she has the results she could do the epidural. Well... the time just stopped... the contractions were getting closer and closer and stronger and stronger. I would not be able to tell you how much time has passed, but by the time she said that she has the results and started prepping me, I was yelling out loud at each contraction in both Russian and English. The nurse propped me over the side of the bed with my legs down, and we started the stupid procedure. I have no clue how I managed to sit through it as at that point the contractions were one on top of another with almost no break in between. All I could manage is to yell, oh no not another one!!! DH was doing great, doing whatever he could to make it a bit bearable for me. Patting my head, holding my hand, hugging me, whatever I told him to do.
As the anesthesiologist for finalizing epidural, I could feel a lot of pressure and yelled that I have to push as he is coming out. The anesthesiologist sopped what she was doing, the tiny room filled in with people and all of them were trying to lay me down. At that point, I couldn't move and was just yelling at them in both languages to not touch me. The pain was so strong and unbearable, I didn't know if I am going to live through this. Somehow, they did put me down, and there were faces all around me telling me to breath. As I was down, they started telling me not to push. What ?!?!? I told them that I can't do that, he is coming out and I can't do that. Apparently after the whole ordeal, my water was still intact and they had to break it as my baby boy was on the way out. Once they did, I kept screaming in pain, and at that point they were all yelling at me to stop screaming, hold my breath and push. There were so many people around, everything was so blurry and I just couldn't do it, I was screaming and crying. Then one doctor/resident/intern (still don't know who he was) he just yelled at me very loud: Look at me, you have to concentrate, hold your breath, tuck your chin in and start pushing as hard as you can, just push... That made me snap out of my hysteria and I started pushing. I pushed once, I pushed twice and I pushed for the third time, and I couldn't do it anymore. I was crying, and telling DH that I can't do it and asking him to take the pain away. There was no time to get the epidural going, so I had no drugs to help me. DH did great, he calmed me down and said that all I need is one more push, he can see the head, and one more push and this is going to be over. and I did... .one last push... and he was out.... My second baby boy was born. Tiny... purplish...but crying from the top of his lungs.... It was 1:34 a.m. on June 17th, 2014.
They gave him to me to hold, not skin to skin, but I was still holding him. They were counting a minute before cutting his cord, and he was crying all that time. DH had the honor of actually cutting the cord. I gave my son a kiss on his head and he was whisked away to a different room. It was time for me to get the placenta out, which was a piece of cake after the whole labour ordeal. The same doctor who helped me before was there, pushing on my tummy and shoving something in. Apparently I was hemorrhaging and they were trying hard to stop it. It did take some time. In addition, my uterus was not contracting down, and they were struggling with it. The nurse put a catheter in, and after my bladder was emptied, the uterus started to cooperate. Then the doctor was stitching me and was surprised when I was yelling from pain. I guess he forgot that there was no drugs. The gave me something locally, but I could still feel the pain. Through all this, DH was going by the room to see DS2 as he was being prepped for NICU. I told him to be with DS2 rather than with me, as I didn't want to leave the baby alone. I don't remember how long we stayed at L&D, but thinking for a few good hours. The nurses did change all the bedding at least once as I have lost a lot of blood. I was then wheeled back to the same area where I was just before, but this time, my bed was next to the door. I didn't mind... on the way there we stopped by NICU to see our son. His bed number in NICU is the same as my parents house number. How ironic is that? DH went home to sleep, but I spent another sleepless night as my neighbour or her husband was snoring, and I still couldn't get over what happened a few hours before.
UPDATE: We spent a month and a half in the hospital downtown and to say that it was challenging is not to say anything. But we survived. On July 30th DS2 was transferred to the hospital closer to our house (i.e. 7 min drive!) and I was coming to hospital 3 times a day to breast feed, usually at 6 a.m., 12 p.m. and 6 p.m. and DH would go for the 9 pm feed. We stayed there for another month and a half and I practically had to kidnap my baby to get out of the hospital the night before his 3rd month birthday. We had amazing nurses who helped us a lot, the problem was that he wasn't eating his full dose in the allotted time, everyone agreed that he would do waaaaay better at home, but nobody wanted to take a risk. So the nurses, pushed, a lot, and closed their eyes on a few things. Everyone were so right! The first two days home, he didn't gain nor lost any weight (which was good as he was adjusting), and then gained 100 grams over the weekend. Today, at 5.5 months (almost 3 months corrected) he is weighing 5.73 kg! His pediatrician is very happy with his progress and told me that if he would be born on time, he would be a HUGE baby :)
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
He is here!!!!
I will do a full post on his birth and the events leading up to it, as I am holding as many details as I can in my head right now. I just really really don't have time to sit and write, as his early arrival wrecked havoc in our lives.
Our precious miracle was born in the early morning of June 17. My labour progressed so quickly that I started pushing before the epidural was completely done!!! All I can say is that natural birth is not for me, the pain was blinding and excruciating, I don't want to EVER give birth without drugs. As I said to DH, if by some miracle we would be blessed by another child, I will be getting an epidural BEFORE I go to the hospital.
So now for my little miracle baby. He is a fighter, born at just over 29 weeks, and currently in NICU. He is doing pretty well. He is a big baby :) but still tiny. I do have thoughts of just running away with him, as it is hard leaving him at the hospital. As I said, my life right now is a total wreck and I am struggling with keeping a balance. I continue to work, I have to as we do need money and I already committed to my clients. My last deal is closing August 3 and I am not taking any new work. BUT, I am busy, so I sleep about 4-5 hours a night max and every day juggling pumping every 3-4 hours, work commitments, a trip downtown to get some skin-to-skin action with our little one in the morning and sometimes in the evening, plus spending time with my two year old. I am exhausted, but what can I do..... Just need to survive this and next week and it should get better work wise. I am proud to say that I am a milk factory :) I think by now my little one has enough frozen b. milk that he can take a bath in it. Hopefully it will continue.
Here is a very short synopsis of where I am right now. Back to work for me.
Our precious miracle was born in the early morning of June 17. My labour progressed so quickly that I started pushing before the epidural was completely done!!! All I can say is that natural birth is not for me, the pain was blinding and excruciating, I don't want to EVER give birth without drugs. As I said to DH, if by some miracle we would be blessed by another child, I will be getting an epidural BEFORE I go to the hospital.
So now for my little miracle baby. He is a fighter, born at just over 29 weeks, and currently in NICU. He is doing pretty well. He is a big baby :) but still tiny. I do have thoughts of just running away with him, as it is hard leaving him at the hospital. As I said, my life right now is a total wreck and I am struggling with keeping a balance. I continue to work, I have to as we do need money and I already committed to my clients. My last deal is closing August 3 and I am not taking any new work. BUT, I am busy, so I sleep about 4-5 hours a night max and every day juggling pumping every 3-4 hours, work commitments, a trip downtown to get some skin-to-skin action with our little one in the morning and sometimes in the evening, plus spending time with my two year old. I am exhausted, but what can I do..... Just need to survive this and next week and it should get better work wise. I am proud to say that I am a milk factory :) I think by now my little one has enough frozen b. milk that he can take a bath in it. Hopefully it will continue.
Here is a very short synopsis of where I am right now. Back to work for me.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
11 weeks and counting
We had our last u/s at the Early Pregnancy Clinic last Friday (Feb. 7). The baby was doing great. S/he was wiggling both arms and legs. DH was mesmerized, but I only got a glimpse, which was still good. The doctor showed me his/her head, the heart and the placenta. Everything was measuring right on time - 11 weeks.
When I got into the u/s room and started talking to the doc, I went a it on offensive, as I still didn't have OBGYN. She was reluctant to take me on the spot, and said that her office has control over patient intake, but that she will make a note on my chart and send it over to her office. When I got home, I called my family doctor and asked her nurse to send a referral to that OBGYN's office right away with the note that the patient spoke to Dr. L in the morning, and she did.
This morning, I called my family doctor again, and the nurse said that they haven't heard from Dr. L's office, so I called myself, and after some convincing and begging, I got myself an OBGYN!!! Since I am over 11 weeks, the first order of business was to call and schedule a NT scan. Scheduled for THIS Thursday. Yei!!! and then the first meeting with Dr. L on Feb. 25, the day before our trip. Exciting!
I have been a bit busy with the new office and trying to incorporate my existing practice with assisting another lawyer. What didn't help, is my extreme tiredness, and very bad nausea. The nausea just doesn't go away, it is almost constant. I have barely eaten anything in the past 3 days. It was so bad last night that I was just lying on the couch all evening (and before that I fell asleep on the couch while DH played with DS) and could only stomach a toasted bagel without anything on it. Today, I had an omelette for breakfast, then 2 apples during the day, and in the evening we went to I.K.E.A. for a change of scenery for DS and I had some salmon with DS' french fries as my veggies didn't look appealing. And half a piece of cake :) I am thinking that I am going to have half of pomelo and call it a night.
Oh, and before I forget, we I have been telling DS that mommy has a baby in the tummy. So today, as I was lying on the couch, I asked him where the baby is and he pointed to my tummy. Yei!!! He is the best!!! So I am thinking that I will use this trick when the time comes to tell others about our second little miracle. :)
When I got into the u/s room and started talking to the doc, I went a it on offensive, as I still didn't have OBGYN. She was reluctant to take me on the spot, and said that her office has control over patient intake, but that she will make a note on my chart and send it over to her office. When I got home, I called my family doctor and asked her nurse to send a referral to that OBGYN's office right away with the note that the patient spoke to Dr. L in the morning, and she did.
This morning, I called my family doctor again, and the nurse said that they haven't heard from Dr. L's office, so I called myself, and after some convincing and begging, I got myself an OBGYN!!! Since I am over 11 weeks, the first order of business was to call and schedule a NT scan. Scheduled for THIS Thursday. Yei!!! and then the first meeting with Dr. L on Feb. 25, the day before our trip. Exciting!
I have been a bit busy with the new office and trying to incorporate my existing practice with assisting another lawyer. What didn't help, is my extreme tiredness, and very bad nausea. The nausea just doesn't go away, it is almost constant. I have barely eaten anything in the past 3 days. It was so bad last night that I was just lying on the couch all evening (and before that I fell asleep on the couch while DH played with DS) and could only stomach a toasted bagel without anything on it. Today, I had an omelette for breakfast, then 2 apples during the day, and in the evening we went to I.K.E.A. for a change of scenery for DS and I had some salmon with DS' french fries as my veggies didn't look appealing. And half a piece of cake :) I am thinking that I am going to have half of pomelo and call it a night.
Oh, and before I forget,
Friday, January 24, 2014
I thought we lost the baby.....
The whole week I was feeling yacky. It has been very cold outside, so I was cold, plus I was constantly nauseous and was getting a cold that DS has as well. Haven't done much work on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, but otherwise it seemed like a regular week.
The added bonus on Wednesday (Jan. 22) was that DH had to drive his brother's family to the airport at 6 a.m. so neither of us had much sleep and we were exhausted all day. DH and I left the office as usual and were on the way to pick up DS from daycare. We were discussing our plans for dinner and decided that after we pick up DS we would get some take out at a new restaurant that we wanted to try for a while. When we both pick up DS from daycare, DH usually stays in the car and I go inside to get him dressed. Same story on Wednesday. As I was bending over to dress DS, I could feel that something was leaking. It got me worried as it felt way more than just regular daily mucus. I picked up DS to carry him to the car as it was very cold outside and felt another stronger gush. DH went out of the car to help me and put DS into his car seat, when everyone were inside, I told DH that we have to go straight home as something wasn't right.
The moment we opened the front door, I hurried upstairs to the bathroom. I was expecting to see a lot of white mucus, but my underwear were soaked with blood. I sat down on the toiled and felt that I passed something. I looked inside and there was a huge clot the size of an orange. I screamed for DH who ran upstairs. I told him that it was all over....
We were deciding what to do and he took a picture as the size of this thing was scary. As I was standing I started bleeding heavily with blood dripping down my legs, so DH put me back on the toilet and hurried downstairs to take care of DS. To my horror, I passed another huge clot, and there was lots of blood in the toilet bowl. After washing myself (and the floor), I went downstairs to talk to DH what to do. There was no doubt in my mind that we lost the baby. I just couldn't comprehend that after everything that came out, there was something left. I called my parents to break the news, and was told to go to emergency right away as there might have been pieces left that needed cleaning. I told my mom that we had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, but she was adamant that we went right away. I really didn't want to go to ER as the wait is always long, so I called tele.health, the services that connects you to a registered nurse who asks a million questions and tells you what is the best course of action for you.
I was on the phone with her for 15-20 minutes. I mostly stopped bleeding, and the only symptom that I had was that I was still nauseous. To my surprise after she finished collecting information she told me to go directly to the hospital NOW, and if I couldn't get someone to drive me, call 911 for an ambulance. So I called my parents and asked for my mom to come over to babysit DS and put him to bed for the night. She came in about 20 min and we were on our way.
DH dropped me off at ER and went to park the car. There were many people in the waiting room, and it appeared that we it was the wait for a triage nurse. It took us about 30 minutes to see a triage nurse who was completely useless, she would ask a question, I would answer, but if I wanted to tell her something or asked a questions, she just plain ignored me. My blood pressure was a bit high, and by that point I was feeling very dizzy and lightheaded. I cried a bit here and there as the severity of what happened started to get to me.
After finishing with triage nurse and registering, we were sent to a yellow area of the ER. There after a short wait, a nurse took my vitals and blood. My pressure was better, and she commented that it is normal for people to have higher blood pressure when they arrive to the ER. After that we were finally put into a room. Well... it looked more like a closet, and DH was feeling claustrophobic. I, on the other hand, was fine. There we waited and waited and waited. Then a resident came in. She listened to our story, checked my tummy for pain and said that she and the doc on call would want to do an internal exam and an u/s. She left and came back with two glasses of water for me to drink to have an u/s done. I finished those quick and waited some more. People were coming and going. First a doctor came in, but he was looking for someone else. The a nurse came in looking for the resident. After about 40 min, I could feel that all the water was were it was supposed to, so I sent DH to investigate. We opened the door a bit and he was on a look out for the resident or the nurse that was taking care of us.
It turned out that the resident was nowhere in site and the nurses couldn't find her. Nice... Then another nurse came (who wasn't taking care of me) and said that they need a room so we should wait in the waiting room. DH got pissed of at her, told her that we have been waiting for an hour for an u/s and that I was very uncomfortable and in no way I am going into the waiting area. Thankfully, another nurse arrived to our rescue and we just moved a couple of rooms down the hall. That room didn't have a door but a curtain, which was open. So more air was coming in, plus we could see what was going on.
We were happy to finally see an u/s machine, but it was rolled past our room into the neghbouring room. Ugh... Then the resident appeared and was told that the u/s is just in the next room. In a few minutes, we finally had the resident, the doctor and the u/s machine in our room. When the doctor started looking and saying what he was saying, his words didn't resonate with me. His first words were "I see an in-uterine pregnancy". I was in shock. He said he can see the baby and the heart beat. I asked him for the measurements and he said that he couldn't measure on the bedside u/s machine and it can only be done on the normal machine, so he can schedule an u/s for me for the next day. I told him that I had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, so I didn't really need on on Thursday. He agreed. DH also asked him about the chances of miscarriage and was pissed when the doctor told him it can be 0 or 100% only time will tell. He told us no lifting anything heavy and no sex.
Overall, we didn't do that bad. We were at the hospital for a bit over 3 hours, and I was preparing spending the entire night there (I've heard stories).
Thursday, I spent home in bed or on the couch, sleeping or watching movies. I wanted to take it easy to help my little fighter as much as I could. DH took the baby to MIL and I only spent an hour or so with him in the evening.
Today (Friday) was our second u/s. I was nervous. In addition, DH's brother schedule an appointment for their mother at pretty much the same time. He forgot that he was away on vacation, and didn't ask us if we had a conflict. My apt was for 9:30 and MIL's was for 9:45. Thankfully, at the same hospital. So the plan was that we would leave early, leave MIL in her doc's reception, go to my apt about 9:15 and pray that we get to go in early, and if it will take a bit longer, DH would just leave and go to MIL.
It was a nice plan, but it didn't work out. We got to MIL's reception and they sent her for an X-ray right away. There was no point for me to stick around there, so I went upstairs by myself. MIL is like a baby and doesn't speak English so she needs someone next to her all the time. I was able to go upstairs and talk to a nurse. As I sat down to wait, the doctor took another patient, so I called DH and he said the are also waiting for X-ray with another person ahead of them. I was hoping he was done and he can come up, but no luck. The doc called me right away. I retold her my story, and she said that all labs that were done on Wednesday are good. She said that she would try with trans-abdominal u/s and then if it doesn't work, she will do trans-vaginal. She was able to see the baby right away. Knowing that I was anxious, she turned the screen my way, and told me that the baby is doing great. There is a heart beat (didn't tell me how fast) and that the baby was measuring 8w6d. Which was great news as exactly two weeks ago, he was measuring 6w2d, and according to my LMP I am 9 weeks even. She said that the chance of miscarriage is minimal as the baby is growing the way he is supposed to and has a heart beat. She even printed a picture (which is not clear, but it still is a picture). She said that if it would make me feel better, she wants me to schedule another u/s in 2 weeks, if I don't get an appointment with OBGYN by that point. She also said that if the bleeding increases, I can call the clinic and schedule another appointment much sooner.
She looked around for the cause of the bleeding and clotting, but couldn't find anything. There was something that she thought she saw, but after taking a closer look everything seemed normal. She gave me one possible explanation, but I didn't really understand what she was talking about.
Needless to say, I was happy and sooooo relieved. I took the picture, made the next appointment and hurried to give good news to DH. He was upset that he missed the u/s, but happy that everything seemed ok.
We spent another hour at the hospital dealing with MIL and then DH dropped me at home, so I could keep it easy for another day. I am thinking if there will be no episodes during the weekend, I'll be back to the office on Monday. Luckily, I am working for myself and can choose my own schedule.
I have been very careful about not lifting DS at all. So DH is getting up early to help me get DS ready in the morning. Lets see how long that will last.
Hopefully, I'll be back with a post in 2 weeks about our 11 week baby.
The added bonus on Wednesday (Jan. 22) was that DH had to drive his brother's family to the airport at 6 a.m. so neither of us had much sleep and we were exhausted all day. DH and I left the office as usual and were on the way to pick up DS from daycare. We were discussing our plans for dinner and decided that after we pick up DS we would get some take out at a new restaurant that we wanted to try for a while. When we both pick up DS from daycare, DH usually stays in the car and I go inside to get him dressed. Same story on Wednesday. As I was bending over to dress DS, I could feel that something was leaking. It got me worried as it felt way more than just regular daily mucus. I picked up DS to carry him to the car as it was very cold outside and felt another stronger gush. DH went out of the car to help me and put DS into his car seat, when everyone were inside, I told DH that we have to go straight home as something wasn't right.
The moment we opened the front door, I hurried upstairs to the bathroom. I was expecting to see a lot of white mucus, but my underwear were soaked with blood. I sat down on the toiled and felt that I passed something. I looked inside and there was a huge clot the size of an orange. I screamed for DH who ran upstairs. I told him that it was all over....
We were deciding what to do and he took a picture as the size of this thing was scary. As I was standing I started bleeding heavily with blood dripping down my legs, so DH put me back on the toilet and hurried downstairs to take care of DS. To my horror, I passed another huge clot, and there was lots of blood in the toilet bowl. After washing myself (and the floor), I went downstairs to talk to DH what to do. There was no doubt in my mind that we lost the baby. I just couldn't comprehend that after everything that came out, there was something left. I called my parents to break the news, and was told to go to emergency right away as there might have been pieces left that needed cleaning. I told my mom that we had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, but she was adamant that we went right away. I really didn't want to go to ER as the wait is always long, so I called tele.health, the services that connects you to a registered nurse who asks a million questions and tells you what is the best course of action for you.
I was on the phone with her for 15-20 minutes. I mostly stopped bleeding, and the only symptom that I had was that I was still nauseous. To my surprise after she finished collecting information she told me to go directly to the hospital NOW, and if I couldn't get someone to drive me, call 911 for an ambulance. So I called my parents and asked for my mom to come over to babysit DS and put him to bed for the night. She came in about 20 min and we were on our way.
DH dropped me off at ER and went to park the car. There were many people in the waiting room, and it appeared that we it was the wait for a triage nurse. It took us about 30 minutes to see a triage nurse who was completely useless, she would ask a question, I would answer, but if I wanted to tell her something or asked a questions, she just plain ignored me. My blood pressure was a bit high, and by that point I was feeling very dizzy and lightheaded. I cried a bit here and there as the severity of what happened started to get to me.
After finishing with triage nurse and registering, we were sent to a yellow area of the ER. There after a short wait, a nurse took my vitals and blood. My pressure was better, and she commented that it is normal for people to have higher blood pressure when they arrive to the ER. After that we were finally put into a room. Well... it looked more like a closet, and DH was feeling claustrophobic. I, on the other hand, was fine. There we waited and waited and waited. Then a resident came in. She listened to our story, checked my tummy for pain and said that she and the doc on call would want to do an internal exam and an u/s. She left and came back with two glasses of water for me to drink to have an u/s done. I finished those quick and waited some more. People were coming and going. First a doctor came in, but he was looking for someone else. The a nurse came in looking for the resident. After about 40 min, I could feel that all the water was were it was supposed to, so I sent DH to investigate. We opened the door a bit and he was on a look out for the resident or the nurse that was taking care of us.
It turned out that the resident was nowhere in site and the nurses couldn't find her. Nice... Then another nurse came (who wasn't taking care of me) and said that they need a room so we should wait in the waiting room. DH got pissed of at her, told her that we have been waiting for an hour for an u/s and that I was very uncomfortable and in no way I am going into the waiting area. Thankfully, another nurse arrived to our rescue and we just moved a couple of rooms down the hall. That room didn't have a door but a curtain, which was open. So more air was coming in, plus we could see what was going on.
We were happy to finally see an u/s machine, but it was rolled past our room into the neghbouring room. Ugh... Then the resident appeared and was told that the u/s is just in the next room. In a few minutes, we finally had the resident, the doctor and the u/s machine in our room. When the doctor started looking and saying what he was saying, his words didn't resonate with me. His first words were "I see an in-uterine pregnancy". I was in shock. He said he can see the baby and the heart beat. I asked him for the measurements and he said that he couldn't measure on the bedside u/s machine and it can only be done on the normal machine, so he can schedule an u/s for me for the next day. I told him that I had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, so I didn't really need on on Thursday. He agreed. DH also asked him about the chances of miscarriage and was pissed when the doctor told him it can be 0 or 100% only time will tell. He told us no lifting anything heavy and no sex.
Overall, we didn't do that bad. We were at the hospital for a bit over 3 hours, and I was preparing spending the entire night there (I've heard stories).
Thursday, I spent home in bed or on the couch, sleeping or watching movies. I wanted to take it easy to help my little fighter as much as I could. DH took the baby to MIL and I only spent an hour or so with him in the evening.
Today (Friday) was our second u/s. I was nervous. In addition, DH's brother schedule an appointment for their mother at pretty much the same time. He forgot that he was away on vacation, and didn't ask us if we had a conflict. My apt was for 9:30 and MIL's was for 9:45. Thankfully, at the same hospital. So the plan was that we would leave early, leave MIL in her doc's reception, go to my apt about 9:15 and pray that we get to go in early, and if it will take a bit longer, DH would just leave and go to MIL.
It was a nice plan, but it didn't work out. We got to MIL's reception and they sent her for an X-ray right away. There was no point for me to stick around there, so I went upstairs by myself. MIL is like a baby and doesn't speak English so she needs someone next to her all the time. I was able to go upstairs and talk to a nurse. As I sat down to wait, the doctor took another patient, so I called DH and he said the are also waiting for X-ray with another person ahead of them. I was hoping he was done and he can come up, but no luck. The doc called me right away. I retold her my story, and she said that all labs that were done on Wednesday are good. She said that she would try with trans-abdominal u/s and then if it doesn't work, she will do trans-vaginal. She was able to see the baby right away. Knowing that I was anxious, she turned the screen my way, and told me that the baby is doing great. There is a heart beat (didn't tell me how fast) and that the baby was measuring 8w6d. Which was great news as exactly two weeks ago, he was measuring 6w2d, and according to my LMP I am 9 weeks even. She said that the chance of miscarriage is minimal as the baby is growing the way he is supposed to and has a heart beat. She even printed a picture (which is not clear, but it still is a picture). She said that if it would make me feel better, she wants me to schedule another u/s in 2 weeks, if I don't get an appointment with OBGYN by that point. She also said that if the bleeding increases, I can call the clinic and schedule another appointment much sooner.
She looked around for the cause of the bleeding and clotting, but couldn't find anything. There was something that she thought she saw, but after taking a closer look everything seemed normal. She gave me one possible explanation, but I didn't really understand what she was talking about.
Needless to say, I was happy and sooooo relieved. I took the picture, made the next appointment and hurried to give good news to DH. He was upset that he missed the u/s, but happy that everything seemed ok.
We spent another hour at the hospital dealing with MIL and then DH dropped me at home, so I could keep it easy for another day. I am thinking if there will be no episodes during the weekend, I'll be back to the office on Monday. Luckily, I am working for myself and can choose my own schedule.
I have been very careful about not lifting DS at all. So DH is getting up early to help me get DS ready in the morning. Lets see how long that will last.
Hopefully, I'll be back with a post in 2 weeks about our 11 week baby.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Relieved....our 2nd ultrasound
on Friday (January 10th) was our second u/s. I was so nervous. I have been feeling very nauseous most of the time, but who knows what is going on inside.
The night was rough as DS woke up at 4:30 a.m. All 3 of us had drinks of water, then around 5 a.m. I remembered that I forgot to move laundry from washer to drier, and since the laundry was for DS, I dragged my butt out of bed and went downstairs to start the drier. By the time I got back to bed, neither DH nor I could fall asleep, and once we dowsed off around 6 a.m., DS woke up again, this time for good.
I managed to get DS ready for daycare while DH prepared breakfast. DH drove DS to day care and we left for the hospital. Of course, we left about 10-15 min after the time I plan to leave, and with the traffic it was one stressful drive from me (DH only freaked out on me once, but I was stressing the whole way to the hospital). We parked the car 2 min before our scheduled time and rushed upstairs.
The early pregnancy assessment clinic is a floor above the labour/mommy-and-baby floor, and for some reason shares a floor with genetics department. There was just another couple sitting in the reception, but once we checked in, I was called by the doctor right away. The doctor was the one performing u/s. She did an abdominal u/s first and said that she can see something but it is not clear. She said that the gestational sack is bigger than it was at my first u/s (she had notes from the other hospital), so she asked me if I didn't mind to do a trans.vaginal u/s, like that can scare me! I told her that since we started TTC for our first one in 2006, there have been as many people in there as through a train station. It made her smile.
Once I was back with an empty bladder and the wandy thing was in, I could see that she could see much better. Although, I could only see with a corner of my eye. DH was beaming as he exclaimed I can see the baby. That brought a relief. I saw at one point that the screen looked like the doctor was checking heart beat (the all wavy screen), but I was sure that she would not see anything. She then turned the screen toward me and showed me the gestational sac, the yolk sac, and the baby... and the heartbeat... There was a little flicker in the baby... I laughed from joy and the picture on the screen shook :)
Then came the news.... the baby is measuring 6w2d and as per my LMP I should have been 7 weeks even. The heart beat was at 110 and the doctor said that it probably just started beating not that long ago. I had very mixed feelings after that u/s. First, as I was looking at a calendar for LMP November 22, and it said that an u/s heartbeat can first be detected on January 7, as I knew that I am behind, I was sure that we would not see any, but it was such a treat to see it! Seeing DH's beaming face brought back memories of when he saw our first baby for the first time on u/s screen. Then, I have some concerns. At 6w5d DS heartbeat was 129, and some googling that I've done put a cut off at 110 for a viable pregnancy. Scary... But I keep telling myself that this is a natural pregnancy, so I don't know when I ovulated, when the embryo was formed and implanted, those were not as certain as with my FET procedure where we were very sure of the day. I could have ovulated later than standard 14 week, so I can be right on time. Plus, someone sent me this link that calmed me down a bit more. http://www.countdownmypregnancy.com/pregnancy/heartbeat.php
The next u/s is booked in two weeks, on Friday, January 24th, to ensure that the baby is developing normally i.e. since he was at 6w2d on the 10th, he should be measuring 8w2d on the 24th, as now they have a point of reference. Fingers crossed.
The night was rough as DS woke up at 4:30 a.m. All 3 of us had drinks of water, then around 5 a.m. I remembered that I forgot to move laundry from washer to drier, and since the laundry was for DS, I dragged my butt out of bed and went downstairs to start the drier. By the time I got back to bed, neither DH nor I could fall asleep, and once we dowsed off around 6 a.m., DS woke up again, this time for good.
I managed to get DS ready for daycare while DH prepared breakfast. DH drove DS to day care and we left for the hospital. Of course, we left about 10-15 min after the time I plan to leave, and with the traffic it was one stressful drive from me (DH only freaked out on me once, but I was stressing the whole way to the hospital). We parked the car 2 min before our scheduled time and rushed upstairs.
The early pregnancy assessment clinic is a floor above the labour/mommy-and-baby floor, and for some reason shares a floor with genetics department. There was just another couple sitting in the reception, but once we checked in, I was called by the doctor right away. The doctor was the one performing u/s. She did an abdominal u/s first and said that she can see something but it is not clear. She said that the gestational sack is bigger than it was at my first u/s (she had notes from the other hospital), so she asked me if I didn't mind to do a trans.vaginal u/s, like that can scare me! I told her that since we started TTC for our first one in 2006, there have been as many people in there as through a train station. It made her smile.
Once I was back with an empty bladder and the wandy thing was in, I could see that she could see much better. Although, I could only see with a corner of my eye. DH was beaming as he exclaimed I can see the baby. That brought a relief. I saw at one point that the screen looked like the doctor was checking heart beat (the all wavy screen), but I was sure that she would not see anything. She then turned the screen toward me and showed me the gestational sac, the yolk sac, and the baby... and the heartbeat... There was a little flicker in the baby... I laughed from joy and the picture on the screen shook :)
Then came the news.... the baby is measuring 6w2d and as per my LMP I should have been 7 weeks even. The heart beat was at 110 and the doctor said that it probably just started beating not that long ago. I had very mixed feelings after that u/s. First, as I was looking at a calendar for LMP November 22, and it said that an u/s heartbeat can first be detected on January 7, as I knew that I am behind, I was sure that we would not see any, but it was such a treat to see it! Seeing DH's beaming face brought back memories of when he saw our first baby for the first time on u/s screen. Then, I have some concerns. At 6w5d DS heartbeat was 129, and some googling that I've done put a cut off at 110 for a viable pregnancy. Scary... But I keep telling myself that this is a natural pregnancy, so I don't know when I ovulated, when the embryo was formed and implanted, those were not as certain as with my FET procedure where we were very sure of the day. I could have ovulated later than standard 14 week, so I can be right on time. Plus, someone sent me this link that calmed me down a bit more. http://www.countdownmypregnancy.com/pregnancy/heartbeat.php
The next u/s is booked in two weeks, on Friday, January 24th, to ensure that the baby is developing normally i.e. since he was at 6w2d on the 10th, he should be measuring 8w2d on the 24th, as now they have a point of reference. Fingers crossed.
Monday, January 6, 2014
A Little Update
I am still spotting on and off, but it is mostly light brown, so I am trying to remain calm.
Last week I got a call from the early pregnancy clinic and they scheduled an ultra sound for January 10 (this Friday), so I didn't go to the walk-in clinic today and didn't contact my RE's office. I think it is better if this clinic follows me, and may be they can refer me to an OBGYN as my old one retired. I loved Dr. N. I've never waited more than 15 min. There were barely any people in his waiting room which was tiny, and he only had on examination room.
The nausea hit already, I have been feeling pretty nauseous for the past couple of days. I still can stomach most of the food that DH prepares and can still brush my teeth without gagging, which is a good thing. Only other symptoms are very full breast to the point that they hurt. Can't wait to breast feed again. I hope it will be easier at the start than with DH.
This morning I wanted to do another HPT test, as I haven't done one in a while. So I went into a drawer and realized that there was only one left. I still did it just to get it out of my system. It was an amazing site. The second line appeared instantaneously and it was darker than a control line. I am taking it as a good thing and it makes it easier to wait until u/s on Friday.
I wanted to share something else, which is kind of funny. A week or so before I found out that I was pregnant, my mom saw on TV that it brings luck if you take 5 bay leaves, tie them up with a red string and hang them above the entrance door to the house. I did it just for the heck of it, as there were a lot of difficult situations in our lives around that time (as DH put it, "I can't wait for 2013 to be over with all the bed things that happened to us). So when I did it, and told DH what it is for, he said that if that thing gets up pregnant, he will put those bay leaves all over the house. Well... surprise, surprise, we got pregnant. I got more bay leaves from my mom, and could do another bunch that DH hang on top of our garage entrance. I wanted to do more, but DH didn't realize that it has to be 5 leaves, and used some the night before. :) We are trying to keep our luck going.
So this is it for tonight, and I'll post again after our u/s on Friday.
Last week I got a call from the early pregnancy clinic and they scheduled an ultra sound for January 10 (this Friday), so I didn't go to the walk-in clinic today and didn't contact my RE's office. I think it is better if this clinic follows me, and may be they can refer me to an OBGYN as my old one retired. I loved Dr. N. I've never waited more than 15 min. There were barely any people in his waiting room which was tiny, and he only had on examination room.
The nausea hit already, I have been feeling pretty nauseous for the past couple of days. I still can stomach most of the food that DH prepares and can still brush my teeth without gagging, which is a good thing. Only other symptoms are very full breast to the point that they hurt. Can't wait to breast feed again. I hope it will be easier at the start than with DH.
This morning I wanted to do another HPT test, as I haven't done one in a while. So I went into a drawer and realized that there was only one left. I still did it just to get it out of my system. It was an amazing site. The second line appeared instantaneously and it was darker than a control line. I am taking it as a good thing and it makes it easier to wait until u/s on Friday.
I wanted to share something else, which is kind of funny. A week or so before I found out that I was pregnant, my mom saw on TV that it brings luck if you take 5 bay leaves, tie them up with a red string and hang them above the entrance door to the house. I did it just for the heck of it, as there were a lot of difficult situations in our lives around that time (as DH put it, "I can't wait for 2013 to be over with all the bed things that happened to us). So when I did it, and told DH what it is for, he said that if that thing gets up pregnant, he will put those bay leaves all over the house. Well... surprise, surprise, we got pregnant. I got more bay leaves from my mom, and could do another bunch that DH hang on top of our garage entrance. I wanted to do more, but DH didn't realize that it has to be 5 leaves, and used some the night before. :) We are trying to keep our luck going.
So this is it for tonight, and I'll post again after our u/s on Friday.
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