O tannenbaum

It's been almost two weeks since my last post. That's a long time for me. I've been busy. It's December, who isn't busy? In between all the busy-ness (which was mostly self created) I've taken the time to just enjoy my little family. Now it's time to write about those things, because I just don't want to forget. And I always do.

This years Christmas tree was a real tree. When I was growing up my parents always had a real tree. For the first couple of years Chad and I were married we had a real tree. Then somebody gave us an artificial tree. I didn't love it, but it was free and you know I love free.

Well, the artificial tree wasn't in the best of shape when we got it, but we made it work. It didn't mean I liked it though. I found out that Chad wasn't particularly fond of it either. So, this year we got a real tree.

It was sooooo cold when we went to get the tree that the boys only lasted outside for like ten seconds. I tried to bundle them up more but it wasn't worth the fight. Even if I would have bundled them up more they would have lasted only 20 seconds.

They ended up just sitting in the car and honking at us while we picked out the tree.

I like trees that are a little bit fuller, but I didn't want to pay $45 for one. Also, the place we got our tree from only had Charlie Brownish trees, that's why it only cost us $15. It was a different tree than I've ever had before with really long branches that curved upwards. It was pretty though, different is good sometimes.


Doesn't it make you smile when you see someone driving down the road with a tree tied on the roof?

It's that time of year again

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Little people

The other day my friend Valerie was telling me that she read in a parenting magazine that kids throw tantrums most often during the ages of 2 and 3. She wondered if Ben still threw tantrums, because her daughter did. He absolutely does. In fact I think he has more now than he did when he was two and three.

Ben is not a morning person and often from the minute he wakes up the meltdowns start. Sundays are the worst day. (And then some days he is just fine, it's completely random.) Anyway, here's a list of Ben's yesterday morning meltdowns-

• Chad made him stop playing a game on the ipod after I had giving him two warnings that he needed to stop at the end of his next game. He threw a fit.


• I had some Easter eggs out for my church lesson and Ben and Jack were fighting over them even though there were plenty to share. Ben was super upset when Jack took some blue ones. Ben loves the color blue and thinks he owns anything that is blue. Most of the time Jack doesn't care, but sometimes he likes blue too.


• We told Ben we needed to get dressed for church. Meltdown.


• We showed Ben what we would like him to wear. It was a sweater similar to Jack's, but Jack's has more blue in it and Ben's has more red. Meltdown.


• His button up white Sunday shirt felt funny, the sleeves are a tiny bit short and his neck and chest felt weird. Meltdown.


• I asked Ben if he wanted to wear a t-shirt underneath. Unfortunately he chose the only one in his drawer that is too big so when I put on his Sunday shirt his t-shirt sleeves made his arms feel weird. Meltdown.


• He put on his sweater and I carefully made sure that his white shirt sleeves were pulled down from the very beginning because he freaks out when they pull up. (This bothers me too so I understand.) He zipped up his sweater all the way, so it was rubbing against his neck, it didn't bother him and I can't believe it didn't. I said he should unzip it a little way. Meltdown.


• Chad put on his socks. Big meltdown. I got him new socks, but he specified they had to be long socks because he was going to be wearing boots. Sometimes he wants short socks, sometimes medium length socks. The socks can't be too thick, but if they are too thin they feel weird. We have a meltdown every day over socks. He especially hates the seams in socks. Hates them. I have to comfort him everyday when it comes to this. I have to make sure his socks are just right.

Plenty more meltdowns throughout the day, but the highest concentration is in the morning. Ben is transitioning between size 4 and size 5 clothes and it isn't very fun. The pants are too long, too big, they feel funny. So if you see Ben wearing very worn out, very short pants you know why. Ben obviously has some sensory issues when it comes to clothes. I think I am going to buy his some seamless socks. I've been avoiding it because I hoped he would just get use to socks. He hasn't. The socks that get the best reviews are over $6.00 a pair. Ouch! Hmm, I'm gonna have to do some more research.

Jack so far hasn't complained much about how clothes feel. Jack just wants to wear his pajamas all the time. When I get him dressed in the morning he just wants to put on different pajamas. Since it has been soooo cold and I don't think pajama pants are warm enough to wear outside when we run errands, I make him get dressed. Today after church though he wanted his pajamas on, so I let him. So, if you see Jack in his pajamas in the middle of the day, he isn't sick he just loves them. If he isn't wearing his pajamas most of the time he has his pajama shirt on underneath his clothes. One time he wore his pajama shirt for three days straight. Have you ever tried to take a shirt off a kid who doesn't want to take it off? Not worth the fight. And three days isn't bad, it could have been a lot longer. Jack is persistent. Very persistent. It's a good quality, it's just hard to be the mom of a very persistent kid.

And since I like to have a picture with almost every post, here's one for ya.
Ben is having a night terror. This was the first time Jack saw Ben have a night terror and he was very concerned. He thought feeding Ben a chip would make it better. It didn't work, but hey, it was worth a try.

Oh the weather outside is frightful

But inside it's so delightful.
Doesn't it look cozy? Tonight we partially decorated the tree and the house. We listened to Christmas music and had a fire. Then before bed we read Christmas books by the fire. It was a picture perfect night, except for Ben and Jack fighting over the baby Jesus in the new nativity set I gave them. (The nativity set is soooo cool, I'm gonna write about it later this week.)

Definately a night I don't want to forget. And the thing with Jack and Ben fighting over Jesus I will eventually forget how frustrated I was with them for fighting (because they have been doing it a lot lately) and I will just find it funny.

The bead

Friday night Chad and I were hanging out with some of his friends from work when we got a text from our babysitter that said-

I'm really, really sorry, but Ben stuck a bead up his nose. He says it doesn't hurt though.

So Chad and I came home to find Ben crying, the bead was starting to hurt his nose. Angie(my sweet cousin and name has been changed to protect the innocent) had him try to blow it out, but it wouldn't come out. We could see the bead lodged in way up his nose, but didn't want to try getting it out because we were afraid whatever we did would just push it further up in. So, Chad took Angie home and I took Ben to the instacare. As I pulled into the parking lot at the instacare, I thought, I should try and have Ben blow his nose. I told him to fill his mouth up with air, hold his breath, and blow while I pushed on the nostril that didn't contain the bead. The first blow it didn't come out and Ben sadly said, "Mom, I already tried doing this." I told him to try one more time and blow really hard. Success! Out popped the bead (which was actually a green airsoft pellet.)

On the way home I asked Ben-

Why exactly did you put the bead up your nose?

Because I found it in the couch, I was playing with it, I couldn't hold it anymore and I didn't have a pocket, I didn't want to put it down because then Jack would get it and swallow it. So I stuck it in my nose and sucked it up.

It was sweet of him to not want Jack to swallow it, but in this situation it probably would have been better that Jack swallowed it, than it ended up in Ben's nose. I didn't tell him that though.

Little things

A new neighborhood friend of mine came over the other day to see my house. She is in the process of remodeling hers, so she was very interested in mine. She asked me what my favorite parts of my house are. Although making all the decisions and spending the money drove my up the wall, I feel sooooo lucky that we were able to remodel the house. Most of my favorite things about the house aren't things that we did, they are things the house already had, we just made them look a little better.

So, here's my favorite things about my house.

I love this beam on the ceiling in between the dining room and the front room.  Silly I know, but it adds architectural detail to the house.

We tore down the wall in between the dining room and the living room and I requested we make the separation on the ceiling between the dining room and the kitchen look the same as the other beam.  My dad helped us figure out how to do it and suggested we put fluorescent lights up and inside the kitchen side of the beam.  I was opposed to any type of fluorescent light in the kitchen but I'm glad my dad conviced me on this one.  I like the extra light.

I love the doors that are original to the house.  They've been pained pink, yellow, aqua, and white.

 In the boys room I had sheet metal cut to fit inside the panels and glued them up on the inside of the door.  (Look at those cute magnetic christmas trees with numbered ornaments to countdown to Christmas.  My sister gave them to the boys.)

I love the hinges on the doors.

The hinges had been painted over a couple of times.  I liked them because of the little ball on the top and the bottom.  To replace them would have been at least $12.00 each, so I stripped them and painted them to match the doorknobs we bought.  Yes, a little crazy but I am pleased with the results.

We haven't gotten to finishing this yet, but when we do it will look like the picture on the right

A cool way to use the under the sink space, so I don't have to have my blow dryer and hair straightener out on the counter.

This is the end cabinet in my kitchen.  See my cell phone?  It's charging and it's not out on the counter.  I sometimes drive Chad crazy with my obsession to hide cords, but he thinks this cabinet is pretty nice too.

Or course I love my fireplace and mantle.  We have yet to have a fire in it, but soon we will.

I love the big windows.  In my aunt's basement we only had windows on the west side, so no morning sun.  I love and need the sun in the morning, so I love the windows at our house now.

I love the play area for the kids.  I was so excited when we looked and the house and knew we could do this.  The boys don't play in it much, so I need to figure out what toys to put in it.

And this is one of Jack's favorite parts of the house.  Jack thinks these pull out cabinets (one on each side of the oven) are ladders to get on the counter. He gets mad when I put things in them.

The great debate

This morning I have been thinking about all the expectations I have of myself. Most of them are expectations I have of myself as a mother, but there are other expectations as well. I decided to write them down, so I might realize how crazy and unrealistic they are. Please know that these are expectations I have of myself. If other mothers aren't doing these things, I don't think they are bad moms. I only think that of myself. Ya know how it goes.

• Good moms have their kids on a schedule, they go to bed at the same time every night and wake up every morning about the same time.
• Good moms don't have kids who end up in their parent's bed.
• Good moms don't feed their kids cereal for breakfast. They make them a hot cooked meal every morning, which includes a fruit and hopefully a vegetable.
• Good mom's make sure their children are getting the daily recommendation for fruits and vegetables every single day.
• Good moms don't feed their kids anything made with white flour, they feed their kids whole grains.
• Good moms don't let their kids have candy.
• Good moms take their kids to the library every week and remain calm while the kids run around and speak louder than a whisper.
• Good moms teach their children to read before kindergarten.
• Good moms don't let their children watch television.
• Good moms don't have kids with dirty faces.
• Good moms have kids who never whine.
• Good moms don't let their kids have tantrums.
• Good moms keep a constantly clean house.
• Good moms play with their kids, a lot.
• Good moms make sure their kids are getting enough exercise.
• Good moms don't ignore their kids to write blogs, but somehow they keep detailed journals and records of their life and their children's.
• Good moms don't let their children fight.
• Good moms don't yell.

Other expectations I have of myself-

• Finish school.
• Be a great wife. I could make a huge list of things that go along with that, but I think I will skip that for now.
• Do a great job at my church calling. My responsibility is to teach the four year olds. Even though I know how four year olds are, I expect that I teach them a memorable lesson, they sit quietly for a long time, and I keep them stimulated- every. single. week.

And the two things that brought on me making this list-

• Good moms don't get their kids vaccinated.
• Good moms don't send their kids to the regular public school.

Okay the vaccination thing-I got Ben and Jack vaccinated for H1n1. I debated back and forth about it. I finally decided to get it because Jack has some medical issues that put him at serious risk of complications from the swine flu. I felt like I almost needed to keep it secret that I got him vaccinated because there are so many people who think the vaccine is horrible. Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified that something horrible is going to happen because I got them vaccinated, like they will develop autism. It was just a difficult, difficult decision because it's sooo complicated. And every time I get my children vaccinated I question it. We are so lucky to live in a country where we can get vaccines, but we also live in a country where we are armed with lots and lots of information and sorting it all out can be very, very difficult.

Now the school thing- This is what got me on the whole list of expectations I have of myself. Ben still has nine months until he goes to school, but really that isn't that far away. Two nights ago I filled out a form that had to do with Ben going to school, so I've been thinking about Ben and school more than usual. I've had friends make comments that education is very important to them and their husband. Whether or not people say it, I don't really know anybody right now that doesn't think education is super important. I've thought about Ben and school pretty much since he was born. Most parents do.

There are choices and choices are overwhelming. Choices like going to the neighborhood elementary school, getting a variance for another elementary school that gets better reviews, charter school, private school, or homeschooling.

I grew up in a time and a neighborhood where pretty much everybody in my neighborhood went to the same schools. There were very few people who didn't, two of those few were my sisters. For part of elementary school they tested into and attended other schools to be part of an accelerated learning program.

I like the idea of kids in the neighborhood going to the same school, but that doesn't really happen much anymore. My last neighborhood had lots of kids in charter schools, my new neighborhood is a neighborhood that's right on the border for elementary, junior high, and high school so kids go to all different schools, and a few people homeschool their kids.

Ben might go to the neighborhood school, but we applied for a variance to have him go to an elementary school that is just as far away. My nieces and nephew go to it, and my aunt works there. It gives me peace of mind knowing that if anything horrible were to happen (like and earthquake or something), my aunt is there. We will probably apply for the charter school. We can't afford private school. And homeschooling? I toy with the idea but it seems so overwhelming.

Charter schools are a big debate. I for one am glad they exist because they alleviate some of the crowding in the neighborhood schools. I like that parental involvement is a requirement and I like the way that kids learn in groups based on the level they are at, not the grade they are in. But are they any better than the neighborhood school? Are the teachers there better? Will the kids be smarter because of the different teaching method. That's the big question.

I know sooo many wonderful people who are or have been teachers at neighborhood elementary schools. They are amazing people. I could never imagine myself as a teacher. I just don't have a love for it and I am sooo glad that there are people who do. Also, I have loads of insanely smart friends who came out of public schools. I'm not kidding when I say insanely smart, some of them are already famous for how smart they are. I got good grades in school, but I felt like I was pretty stupid because compared to my friends I wasn't anything amazing.

We always want the best for our children. Neighborhood schools are great, charter schools are great, homeschooling I'm sure can be good. Figuring out what is the best is tricky.

P.S. I wrote this whole post and spelled expectations wrong every single time. Huh, I need to go back to school. Thank goodness for spell check.

Strange assumptions

Have you every called somebody up to invite them to do something with you and they said, "ya know, you are nice and all but you are just not cool enough for us to hang out with." Or have you had somebody say, "um, we are kind of maxed out on friends, we have more than enough."
I have not had this happen and I hope it never will but everytime I call somebody to invite them to do something with me it is scary. Deep down I am afraid they are going to say the things I am afraid of. Maybe I am a bit insecure, but who isn't afraid of rejection?
Today I spent forever making homemade chicken noodle soup. (I made the broth and the noodles, that kind of homemade.). I also made Lion House rolls. There was plenty of food so we decided to call some friends to join us for dinner. They already had plans which I totally understood and I didn't feel rejected. The thing that was funny is that we were trying to think of somebody else to invite and everybody we thought of we thought, "they are just going to think we are weird for us calling on short notice." I even thought this about my sister and you would think I already got over that kind of stuff when it comes to her.
Where am I going with this? I dunno exactly. I just think it is interesting the things I assume sometimes. Silly and irrational. Also I was thinking about all the wonderful people I have known and know. It is sad when life changes and the people who were part of your life are no longer really part of your life, but then you meet new people who fill different niches of your life. And depending where you are in life you have different holes. No matter how many friends you might have it is always nice to meet more of the great people in the world.
I am glad that the new friends we invited to dinner were bummed they couldn't join us for dinner and came over and hung out with us later. I am glad they aren't 'maxed out' on friends.

In answer to your question Benjamin K

It's 5:00 in the morning and I'm awake with Jack. I just finished sucking out Jack's nose with the booger-sucker so that he could breathe. I had to enlist Chad's help to hold Jack still enough that I could suck out his nose. I feel like a meanie, especially when Jack kept saying over and over again, "I'm done mama, I'm done." Poor little guy. Now he can breathe and he's falling asleep and I'm wide awake.
Great time to write a post and a great time to answer Benjamin's question about why I don't like trunk or treats. Sorry it took me a while to get to it. Here ya go. Warning-It's kind of long.

1. I dream of living in a neighborhood where people know everyone on their street regardless of whatever differences they may have (religion, age). I dream of living in a neighborhood where people were friends, not just friendly. (Although even just friendly would be good.)
Like the neighborhood my aunt told me about. She told me that one of the doctors she works for was moving. He was excited for a new house but him and his wife were really, really sad to leave their old neighborhood. Almost every night the neighbors would come out of their houses, grill up dinner in the front yard, and talk and visit with each other while the kids played. I want a neighborhood like that.
When my sister and I hung out in our driveways to visit and watch the kids play we were the only adults out there. We hoped some other adults would join us. Instead pretty much most of the kids on the street would end up at our end of the street and their parents stayed inside.
One day the power went out in the early evening and it was out for a couple of hours. The most amazing thing happened. With no way to watch television or work on the computer, most of my neighbors ended up outside. I met and talked with people I had only before seen driving in their cars. It was awesome and I wished the power would go out more often. Not every night though, I mean I like television and the internet too.
I may never live in a neighborhood like I dream of. I know a big part of it depends on what I do, but there is only so much I can do. IF my neighbors don't want the same thing, then that's just the way it is.
The way it stands now is that Halloween is pretty much the only day that I and my children can knock on the neighbor's doors without them wondering what the heck we are doing there. I mean, would you ever just go over to your neighbors, knock on the door just to say hi? If I did that my neighbors would think I was crazy.
Pretty much in summary, trunk-or-treats just aren't neighborly. Like Heather said if you aren't a member of the LDS faith you have to be pretty comfortable with joining LDS members in their church parking lot for a trunk-or-treat.

2. Kind of along the same lines as the first. Trunk-or-treats are generally age restrictive. By this I mean, if you didn't have young kids, would you go to a trunk or treat just to give kids candy? There are a few people who do it, but it's very few. And I know plenty of people without young kids that love to see trick-or-treaters. My parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles.
We moved into a neighborhood with a lot of elderly people. They probably wouldn't come to a trunk-0r-treat because it would be too cold and physically uncomfortable for them to stand there and hand out candy. This kind of reminds me of a poem by Shel Silverstein-

The Little Boy and the Old Man by Shel Silverstein
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

One of the houses we went to in my neighborhood there was a little old man who was just sitting on a chair placed close to the front door. When he saw us he stood up and made his way to the door. He had a big smile on his face and we had a short conversation with him. While walking away from his house Ben said to me, "that guy moved really slow." That guy could have just shut off his porch light and not handed out candy, but he wanted to see the kids, so he sat on a chair by his door so that he could participate with the trick-or-treating. I don't think he would come to a trunk-or-treat.

3. Way too much candy, way too fast. At last years trunk or treat I handed out about 200 pieces of candy in less than a half an hour. I sound like an old fart, but kids just don't have to work for it and it drives me crazy. I grew up in a good neighborhood and I'm sure my neighbors gave out as good of candy as they give in almost any neighborhood. But when I was old enough I started going trick-or-treating with my friend Heather. We walked up super steep hills into neighborhoods where we were certain rich people lived who handed out regular size (not snack size) candy bars. I might have gotten one regular size candy bar every year, maybe two. But the good thing I got was a whole lot of exercise.

4. The world is a scary place, but it is too scary to go trick or treating in your own neighborhood? What parent isn't terrified of all the horrible things that could happen to their children? When Ben is out of my sight for a second when we are out in public I start imagining he has been kidnapped and I am terrified of the horrible things they would do to him. I always want him to be right by me, so I know where he is at and he can't get out of my sight. But I can't keep a four and a half year old right next to me all the time. He is usually good about staying with me or staying where he can see me, but sometimes he gets distracted as do I.
The world is a scary place, but I will happily go trick or treating with my kids as long as I need to to have peace of mind. It will probably be until they are too old to trick or treat.

I have plenty of reasons why I don't like trunk-or-treats. As I know there are plenty of reasons why people love them. This year in my previous neighborhood the LDS bishop put his foot down and said that there could not be a trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot. My sweet friend, Leslie, who loves trunk-or-treats was frustrated, so she got permission from the city fire marshall to shut down her street for a couple of hours for the trunk-or-treat. Determined, huh? People are pretty passionate when it comes to trunk-or-treats either way they feel about them. Obviously I'm pretty opinionated about why I don't care for them. It's a very devisive issue.

Jack, Jack, and more Jack

The tides have changed

So, my mostly sweet little Jack, is no longer mostly sweet. He has entered the stage of terrible two's. Previously he would do whatever I asked happily. Now his favorite word is, "NO." And he has recently become more acquainted with 'the corner.'

When Ben entered this stage we were shocked. It was all new to us and we wondered what had gotten into Ben. It's nice not to be shocked with Jack. We knew it would happen eventually, we just dreamed that it never would. Ha! Ha! A girl can dream.

Jack is still sweet. He's just a new challenge. Keeps me on my toes.

What to do. What to do.

So tomorrow I get the night off of work. Are you thinking, Crystal works, huh? Ya know my 24 hour 7 day a week job. Chad just wants me to have a night off to do something fun for myself. Grocery shopping without kids was my first thought. Then I thought Christmas shopping. Chad said no to both of those.

So I think I will go to a yoga class, but I don't know what else. I'm stumped. And tonight when I went to the bathroom and it was a potty party (because Ben and Jack came with me like they usually do), I thought, "it's no wondered I'm stumped on what to do."

It's not like I'm never away from my children. Today my sister watched them while I went to the dentist. My mom, my sister, or a babysitter will watch the boys while Chad and I go on a date or while I take pictures for somebody. It's just been a long, long time since I've had a night to myself. I don't really like to be away from my kids much, unless I have a good reason. I often want a break, but when it happens I don't know what to do. What to do. What to do.

Halloween 2009

I am not a fan of trunk or treats.  Although I have attended them in the past and I did attend one this year (so I could see some friends in our previous neighborhood.) 

I like the way our new neighborhood does things.  On Thursday before Halloween they had an activity at the church.  Chili for dinner and games for the kids afterwards.  It was fun, especially for the kids.  And when the kids are happy, I'm happy. 

I made these cupcakes for the "cake walk".  One of the games the kids could play.

On Friday we went trick or treating at Chad's work.  One of Chad's coworkers gave the boys way tooo much candy.  Oh well, I'm enjoying it too.

Ben was Spiderman for Halloween.

And Jack was a Jack-in-the box.

(A $3 clown costume from DI, a box, some spray paint, and a handle made by my dad out of things he just had around.)

For breakfast on Halloween I made pumpkin pancakes.  It's a tradition now.

And I carved oranges to look like pumpkins and filled them with fruit and yogurt.  The kids didn't like it.  They complained about it a lot.  Jack cried, Ben whined,  I don't know if I'll do that again.  But I guess Chad liked it, so I'll do it for him.

And for lunch-pumpkin grilled cheese sandwiches.

After going to the trunk-or-treat, we visited family then came back to our neighborhood for good old fashioned trick or treating.  It was funny when the first three house we went to just left buckets of candy out on the front porch.

More fun that trick-or-treating with the boys was watching how excited they got when trick-or-treaters came to our house. 

The doorbell would ring.

Jack would say in his cute little voice-

"somebody's here."

Ben would run to get the bowl of candy.
Jack would run and try to open the door.

He couldn't open it, so he would knock on the inside of the door and say,

"knock, knock."

Chad or I would open the door so Ben could give the kids some candy.

They did this everytime.  Definately a memory I don't want to forget.  They were just soooo cute.

And here's a few more cute pictures-