The Anatomy of Peace

I just finished listening to The Anatomy of Peace, by the Arbinger Institute.  I rather liked it.  I felt some stinging guilt at times but gave me more awareness, and that is always a valuable thing.  I would like to read/listen to it again to digest more of the material and be able to apply it better.  I wish everyone would read it and then we could all help each other with our boxes!

An peek inside...

"What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?"

"Through an intriguing story of parents struggling with their troubled children and with their own personal problems, The Anatomy of Peace shows how to get past the preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. As the story unfolds, we discover how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. The choice between peace and war lies within us. As one of the characters says, "A solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well." This book offers more than hope — it shows how we can prevent the conflicts that cause so much pain in our lives and in the world."

Callahan Wedding Adventure

The first class, of the first day of Junior High I met Shannon Callahan!  We have now known each other for 20 years.  She is one of the those friends that my whole family knows, even my aunts, uncles and cousins.  And I know and love her immediate and extended family including some of her in-laws. She is a constant and stablizing thread sown into the fabric of my life. (thats a line out of a country song to be sure!)  What I would do or who I would be without her in my young and older years I cant even imagine.  She and I come from similar backgrounds and have risen above things that may have held others down and we have ducked below in things we still dont dare tell others about!  We have hilarious stories and sad ones.  One thing we have a lot of is pictures of us looking almost exactly like this...

We must have wasted a ton of film...Yes back in the days of film we would hold the camera up in front of us and hope that is was angled just right to get both of us. Then we would wait months to finish the role of film, take it in to the processing place, then wait til my mom picked up the pictures and laugh our heads off when we would get it back and barely remember why we took yet another face shot of ourselves.   Sometimes we would try to trade hair and flip her gorgeous red hair over my face and put my blondness on her face and take the picture just to see what we would look like if we switched hair.  We have endless memories together, I cant wait til we are in heaven one day and can remember everything, I am sure there are tons that I have forgotten!

Anyway, it was sooo good to see her and to see the rest of her family...

Shannon's son Rylan, Simon and her husband Matt.

And oldest son, Christopher Robin, I mean Logan, (doesn't he look exactly like how Christopher Robin looks in your mind from the storybooks?) and her adorable daughter Lauren-who I promptly won over on the dance floor!  We are going to be good pals I can tell, she likes to shake it as much as I do!

More of that sweet Simon,

that would have nothing to do with me and truthfully only liked his dad the entire night!

OH I almost forgot, it was Shannon's little brother, Shane's wedding reception!  He and his wife Katrina were married in Chicago recently and they had a party here too.

CONGRATULATIONS

Shane and Katrina!!

I got to see all 4 of her siblings and her mom, Connie!

Connie and Shane dancing to the song "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?..."

Sung by Kermit the Frog!

Yes, Rainbow Connection, it was actually really sweet.  I love that song!

Connie, has an old friend similar to the friendship that Shannon and I have, they have probably known each other from the same ages as us.  This friend, Laura  is also connected to my family! I have known Laura since I was a tiny one and its always fun to see her at the Callahan events as well.  I thought about what it is like for Laura and Connie to attend each others childrens marriages etc. And realized that one day I will be going to little Lauren's wedding- and it will feel like no time has gone by!

Shannon's older sister took some pictures of all of us dancing and as soon as she puts them on facebook I will put them on here, as well, but here's a preview of the shake-down!

PS so that means I dont have do play catch up all in one post I can put in a bunch of posts out of order... that means you actually have to look down lower to see if there is any thing new!  There will be LOTS!

Okay so I figured out the coolest thing on this blog thing... I dont know if its new or if its just that I didnt know about it all this time!  But one of the most frustrating things about these blogs is that you cant put things in order as you want to... so like say you posted about your birthday and then later you found a bunch of pictures you took the week before when your Cousin Bertha was visiting!  It would be out of order!! that bugs me!  I want to just slide in the visit from Cousin Bertha before the birthday post! 
Well, I figured out how you can do just that!  See on the POST page down below is a "button" that says "Post Options" and if you click on it, it will open a bunch of options for you- hence the name!  The stuff on the right is what we are interested in!  If you click on "Scheduled at,"  it opens a date box and you can put any date you want in and then it will slide that particular post in on the date you want it to be...  I am loving this!  Please tell me folks if this has been available all along! I will be peeved but relieved...

I honestly don't know how to do this... I have a ton of updating to do and I don't know how to put it all in the right order. So I am just going to try from here...
So to start... For work there is this thing called Orange Day.It's a new thing where they give us a day off with the contingency that we will serve in the community. Its a designated Give Back day! My Uncle Todd made us our shirts! He did a great job! Shout out to Todd!

Marv Orrock arranged for a bunch of us to go to the Humanitarian Center in SLC and build hygiene kits etc. along side a group of Doctors in the area. Here are some of the pics from that adventure.

Then Reagan turned 8 years old! And guess what happens when youre 8 years old? You get to make the choice to get baptized. I am so proud of Reagan making the choice to follow Jesus Christ and be baptized. She and the other children getting baptized that day sang one of my new favorite primary songs... I am sure I wasn't supposed to be taking any pictures but I pretended in my mind to not know it!

My cute Gram and I at the top of the

Joseph Smith Memorial Building

Paul Cardall is an old friend that I originally met through High School friend Shannon Callahan but then he and I ended up working for EFY in 1996. He is also a very talented musician in the area that has a few CDs out and I have kept tabs on him through what was happening in his music career, always hoping for his success from a distance. Paul has had a heart condition since birth and was on the list for a heart transplant. There have been many articles in the news paper and he has quite the following on his blog regarding his experiences while waiting to recieve a heart. I dont remember how I heard about the benefit concert but I knew I would really like to support him. Knowing that my cousin Corey was also on the transplant list I called his family to see if they would be interested in going. Marsha & Craig Case along with Kelli & Brittney were there. There were many of the old musicians that I remember from EFY concert nights! Colors, Peter Breinholt, Ryan Shupe and the Rubberbands, along with Kurt Bestor and many more! It was an amazing concert and a very touching, emotional night.

The end was so great, Paul along with his beautiful wife and daughter (who the concert was named after "Living for Eden") was able go up on stage with his good friends and the nights' performers and talk about what it meant to him and his family to have had this experience. Then Paul played for us! It was beautiful.

The good news is that I know how the story ends because I waited so long to post all this! I actually ran into his sister Becky in Dallas over Labor Day Weekend at the BYU vs Oklahoma game... and she told me he was in the hospital and they hoped that meant that any day he could get a heart. I am sad to say that in my mind I thought "... or he could die before one comes available..." and I thought it wasn't all that likely. I just didnt have the faith or hope I should have had in my heart at the moment. I am so happy that I was wrong! Paul recieved a heart recently!!
It was also so great to run into so many old friends there... Ranger and Jodi Nielson from the Africa Adventures. My amazing high school English teacher and dear friend Kati Burningham. So that is all the updating I can do for now... lots more to come!

Elder Uchtdorf on HOPE, my favorite word

Stolen Purse...

you heard the saga of the stolen purse so I only thought it prudent to put a pic of the new purse, however, I never got the picture up... its not such a new purse anymore...

But the craziest thing happened this week... its actually Oct 8th, 2009 today.... so I was on facebook doing nothing as usual and I thought OH maybe I should look at some of my emails on here, I havent done that in a few weeks... Im not a very good facebooker... But low and behold there was a email with the word PURSE in the subject line... Here is what it said...

Valerie Hurd Dykhuizen September 18 at 3:38pm I found red Prada purse with your items (check book etc) in a field by my work. I found a number for you on whitepages.com that is not valid. So I took a chance and tried facebook. If you have had a purse lost or stolen please message me back. I did gather it up and have it at my work. Thank you.

Danalee Karren October 5 at 10:30pm I did have my purse stolen a few months ago!! I would love to get a few of the items back, thank you so much for contacting me! most people would have just tossed it and done nothing! so thank you so much! my phone # is ....

OH my gosh, its been almost a month since she wrote that! And its been about 9 months since the purse was stolen and was sitting in that field over there! It was all dirty and had tons of cobwebs etc. That was sooo nice of her to gather up for me... Anyway I got my red prada purse back, but there was very little in it that I wanted back, but there is something about closure... even to a stolen purse saga! I'm very grateful!

Okay okay so I havent posted in a really long time!

But I have some time now and will get to updating... the reason that I have some time though, is because I am off work for a few days resting up and healing from a minor surgery I had on Wednesday. But all is well now and healing nicely.

I cannot be held responsible for the posts above being in chronological order, I am just getting some important things up there! Its been a busy fun filled, sharp learning curve, crazy few months so bear with me on the order and details of stuff!

OH AND PS: THERE ARE SOME POSTS BELOW THAT HAVE BEEN IN DRAFT FORM FOR A FEW MONTHS THAT YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN... ESPECIALLY THAT TRIP TO BRAZIL...

My 35th Birthdday!

Wow I have gotten old without my consent! I realized recently that when my mom was my age I was 12 years old! Hello! But what do you do about it? I haven't figured out how to master the ability to stop time, so I am just going to embrace it...

For my birthday I did a bunch of fun stuff with people that I love!

Of course, my wonderful, a bit over the top, mom gave me a great shower of presents! Mainly a BBQ Grill! Its been so much fun to grill some yummy steaks and kabobs etc. the last few weeks! She also gave me a darling new jacket! She spoils me to death! I feel very blessed.

Moving Grams!

Dad and Auntie Margo playing with Gram's wall decorations!

Kylee, Jen and I stayed back to clean out and clean up the old house, while the guys all loaded up the boxes and big stuff on the trailers, in trucks and cars.  Gram and Margo were at her new place organizing and making sure the stuff arriving got put in the right place!

 

 

Rustin and Uncle Bill take a much needed rest before loading more stuff up to take to the D.I.

 

I know Tay its hard when you are so stinking cute!

Bill, Margo, Tay & Kylee

I am so glad I took this picture.  I can bet that every single one of us that have been lucky enough to know and love this lady can remember her waving goodbye from her porch right there! Just like that...And she says to you as you leave, "Come again soon..."

THANK YOU!!!

To all of those that helped in every step of this transition for our Sweet Gram!

Special thanks to Dennis and Jolene for their warm (emphasis on warm!) welcome, help and support while she stayed in St. George.

Thanks to Margo and Bill for flying down and getting her ready to make the big move!

Thanks to all those that did the big move!

Dad (aka: Danny) LaDawn, Erik, Bill, Margo, Taylor, Kylee, Jen, Vaughn, Randy & Rustin!

It was fun!

Those that were there mov

Cousin Melissa Singley gets HiTcHeD!! Off we all go to Philly!

Melissa Lynn Singley do you take this man...
The days before the wedding... got there the night of the 8th, the rehearsal dinner was the 9th and the wedding was the 10th!
Mom and Grandma S came in on the same flight and Charlotte and I came in on different ones, which makes for a lot of runs to the airport!  Thank HEAVENS for a GPS!!!! How did people travel and not get killed, kill each other or just opt to not go anywhere before GPS's existed?  It was hilarious as Grandma thought there was a British woman up in a satelight talking us through our navigational adventures.

Anyway, the morning after all our travel adventures was a late rising one, even for my mom!  We all slept late and hard!  then we eventually met up with Jen, Steve, Meliss and the kids.  We went to do odds and ends see Aunt Jenny's house, Melissa's house etc and grabbed a bite to eat.

 

James was there to give Melissa away! So sweet for her big brother to step in because their father had passed away just over a year ago.

Then it was time for the dinner rehearsal, Charlotte got sick, the food was great, I loved the gift Meliss gave to all of us in the Bridal Party.  Its always so fun to see Kate, Aunt Jenny's little sister.  She and Tommy live in South Carolina now days and are true blue Southern-er's!  So much fun! 
And can those two Dance!!! Kate and Mom!  

This pic is before Char got sick and had to leave! Poor thing!

Me and my Cutest Mom!

 

Jenny has been Melissa's rock all her life!

It was tough for everyone to not have Craig, Melissa's dad there.

Here comes the Bride, Here comes the Bride...

 We had an Entourage of make up and hair people there with us...

Melissa in Make-up!

Sister of the Bride, Jen and Missy

Okay now here is the deal my hair was a work in progress!

I would have never thought my hair could do such things, AND stay that way most of the night!

It was really fun to have all this done, I thought at first it was over-kill but I really am glad we did it, and think that if I am ever to have a wedding, I will do the same- have someone else worrying about your hair, not you!

Now the Bride is in the HAIR CHAIR! 

Wow she looked AMAZING!

Jen showing us that nothing has been left undone or forgotten, they even have mini tooth brushes and flosser-things so you dont mess up your lipstick too much or incase you need a last minute fresher-upper!

Jen in the HAIR CHAIR!

Man she has a lot of hair! I would kill for a quarter of the hair she has!

Esther and even little Tory got to get her hair-did!

These are the flowers for the bridesmaids!  Hello gorgeous!

 

The twins, Isabell & Kathryn and Riley (off to the side baby Ella)

the adorable flower girls

So this was the final result of all that hair and make-up doin'

you have to get a picture quick

it wont look like this for long!

I am as bad as any of the kids, I get all messed up easily.

Melissa's immediate family (only missing her dad)

I wish this was like facebook and I could tag each face so you could tell who was who

Jen and Steve on the left, Jenny, Meliss, and George middle

James, Ester and fam on right and twins in the front.

BEST COUSINS!

This is such a typical picture of these four girls, the twins and Riley are inseperable

they love, love, love to be together!

James and Esther looking amazing!

They are the best couple ever!

Perfectly suited for one another!

My amazing, gorgeous Mom, Me and my gorgeous, amazing Aunt Charlotte!

Can we say large wedding party! Holy Smokes!

there were at least 7 bridesmaids!

which meant you had to have that many groomsmen

and lets not forget 5, yes 5 flowergirls!!

But we had a riot!  After the wedding ceremony the wedding party goes and freshens up and the guest mingle and start in on the open bar... then they are all taken in to a sit down dinner room.

The wedding party was out in the hallway waiting, then introduced and one by one, actually two by two, and then each set of bridesmaids and groomsmen got to jam out down the "walk way..."  this was my favorite part of the whole wedding it was so much fun and I am trying to find a way to incorporate that into some semblance of the mormon wedding traditions...

This was so sweet, I thought...

On a table with this note, there were tons of pictures of those that Melissa and Denny had loved and lost...

It says, (in case you cant read it)

As we celebrate we would like to remember those that could not be with us today

They are forever in our hearts

William Craig Singley, Father of the Bride (my mom's brother)

Jay Watts, Maternal grandfather of the Bride

Bryce M Singley, Paternal grandfather of the Bride (my gramps too)

And so on...

Then let the dancing begin!

The Bride Danced with her mother to the song "My Girl"

and as the song progressed they invited all the rest of the mothers and daughters to come up and join them!

It was so much fun!

The best was Melissa dancing with Grandma Singley 81 years old!

Out there shakin it with Meliss!

She looks like she's never had such fun in her life!

Essy, Tory and James

James dancing with one of his girls!

I love weddings because they bring out such a sweetness in everything.  How often does a dad get to dance with his little girls in our hustle and bustle world these days?

Dont forget to enjoy these sweet moments, those little feet will be walking down the aisle as the bride before you know it!

LOVE YOU MELISS, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL