Be Good to Your Daughters

"You don't look like Barbie.. you're not pretty like Barbie. Your hair isn't long, straight and yellow like mine, like Barbie's" says the four year old on the playground to a fellow classmate, bringing her to tears. Having heard this with my own ears this afternoon, I was stunned. Is Barbie who we still measure up to? Who these young girls still compare one another to, as well as themselves? 

I can remember having barbie dolls. Dozens, actually. I do not remember comparing my actual friends to them, however. Not to my conscious knowledge at the age of four anyway. Since that age, almost a couple of decades ago (yikes!), I have learned quite a bit, attended multiple schools, met more people than I can remember I'm sure, and yet here I am again. Back at Barbie. 

In school, I dabbled a bit in Women's Studies. I've already talked about being a feminist and you have already been witness to some of my literature of interest. So you see how a comment such as the one above, even on the playground, would catch my attention. It is my firm belief that beginning at an early age, we have an obligation to young girls and young women alike to instill self-worth within them. But when we're battling against pop culture, against all they know to be true in the world, it's much more difficult than it should be. 

Just to give you a few more thoughts to ponder... this particular four year old girl's parents frequent the local Hooters often with their children. She has also been known to comment on how the girls that work there are "precious in their little shirts and tight shorts with long socks." Not kidding. If you work at Hooters, I have nothing against you. To each her own. But in all seriousness... young girls should not be comparing their bodies already to Barbie, let alone, Hooters' girls. God help us. 

What happened to mothers telling it like it is... be who you are, be beautiful in your own skin. One would think that message is one of the past or one that only ugly people focus on. In working with small children now, I have found that this passion of teaching positive self-esteem to young girls has only fluctuated. It's never too early to tell them they're beautiful for who they are, not who they could be. Because that type of confidence only flourishes within those young girls who become those strong women needed so desperately in society today. 

So there you have it. My soap box for the night. 

If Money Grew on Trees

My latest and greatest food for thought: I want a puppy. 

If money grew on trees, I'd already have one. Along with a maid to make sure my new apartment didn't end up smelling like dog. Unfortunately, neither a puppy nor a maid are in the current budget. One day, maybe I'll have both. But for now, here are some cute ones I've come across. 

Precious, right? I'd take either... But I suppose that if I had a puppy then I'd have to come up with some equally amazing name to sum up how cute either of these two would be. 

I think a puppy is a reasonable accessory  to my new life. He or she might just keep me sane.. Give me stability in this that is my new world. In a new city. With all of these new people. Everyone needs a friend. One that you can't move away from, graduate and leave; One that won't turn their back on you, who will love you always, snuggling up with you whenever you can't see the silver lining in the storm clouds... Woman's best friend? Be with me on this. 

Thoughts? 

Lessons Learned and I Told You So's...

Both songs off of Carrie Underwood albums... but that is neither here nor there. We're not talking about Carrie today, maybe another time...

Today I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. Some of my best friends, including Rico, are moving back/ have moved back to the college life today. I've told you before that I'm already jealous. While the parties I'm sure will go on for the next week and the pictures will immediately be posted on select social networking sites, I will be early to bed and early to rise working like an adult. My question is, when did I agree to be an adult already? 

You go through the motions for years... K-12, 4 years (hopefully) of college, then bam!.. Just like that, get a job, get insurance, get a life... on your own. Wait, what? Do I have to? Well, the answer to that is "Yes, you do." 

In any case, today I've been thinking about the "I told you so's..." My favorite Island girl and I often discussed how hard it was back when she was the most recent graduate among us. She moved to another city, taking on a new adventure, all by herself. Building a life on her own without the comfort of our small school and close network of friends. Many times we discussed her feelings on the matter and I felt bad. I wanted her to be back with me in school just as bad as she wanted to be, but it just wasn't going to happen. Time marches on. I said then that I understood, but I know now, that I didn't have a clue. Because now here I am. The most recent of the graduates I suppose. Living and learning. And wishing I'd prepared myself more when she "told me so." 

The first round of stories and pictures will be hard. Maintaining distance from sorority drama will be easier. Trying to hold it together like an "adult" while Rico finds new friends (skanks) to go to and adore will be hardest. 

Is this what it's supposed to be like? Growing up and getting on with everything else life has to give... Another chapter to life's story. I know it's not supposed to be easy. But this is a new level of difficulty I'm dealing with today. It feels real and I don't so much appreciate reality at this point. 

I sent Hallmark cards today. They make everyone feel better right? No? Oh well. I sent them anyway. My favorite of the day went something like this:

"Is everyone giving you that 'it gets better with time' BS?... It should be shopping. It all gets better with shopping." 

That pretty much sums it up. Maybe I should suck it up and just go shopping. 

Rejuvenated?

There they are. They've made an appearance. If you don't like the Sex and the City cliche, you might as well move to another blog because I find a lot of solace and wisdom from Ms. Carrie Bradshaw and her witty friends. 

All of that aside however, this picture perfectly describes how I felt Sunday night when on a brief visit to my hometown, I was able to catch up and drink up with a few of my favorite people. I was able to convince Roxie to come home for a few days as well, as it is a central location from our current addresses. So the two of us ventured out with the Diva (an old lifelong friend who continues to live down the street from my parents for the time being), Ditzy (another old friend who you would find fits this nickname perfectly), and Mr. Perfect. Why he put up with this venture, I'll never know, because it was a very late night and a very expensive bar tab later that I felt truly happy at home once again with my girlfriends. 

We did two rounds of girly shots, topped off with rum and cokes and cokes and rum and rum and cokes etc. etc... Unfortunately enough, because Mr. Perfect was at the table for the majority of the evening, no free cocktails were supplied.. therefore, moi expensive tab at the end of this madness. Not that money should really matter at all when you're out with your friends. I'd do it all over again. Without hesitation.

After a weekend spent with Mr. Perfect's friends at the wedding of the season, it was nice to have a relaxing night out with favorites where I felt like there was zero need to try and impress anyone in my immediate company. It's really hard starting over. I don't feel the need to impress everyone I come into contact with, but you're still on your toes all of the time. Yes? Am I the only one? 

Anyway, my alma mater's classes begin again next week and for the first time, I'm not there. I'm not there for the first parties of the year, the relaxing afternoons on the couch avoiding studies with my closest friends, the days of nothing that mean everything... you get me.  As you can promptly tell, I have mixed feelings about this. The first feeling is envy for those going back to the comfort of college life. The second feeling is sadness that I'm missing out on so much of what I have known and so many whom I have loved for so long. The third feeling is more of an awkward feeling.. not really one I fully understand all the time. I'm happy to be in a new part of my life. A new chapter. I want to be happy about this all the time... But the more you get to know me, the more you find I don't deal well with change. Especially drastic change. And this summer has been pretty drastic. But I'm working on getting through it all. We'll see how it goes.. This is me. Dealing with it. 

All in all, I feel that is enough reflecting for the time being. It was a good weekend. Very well spent with the closest thing I have to a "New York- S.A.T.C" group of girlfriends on a random late Sunday night. I find it's those random nights that turn into the best of nights... and those alone can keep me going no  matter how many changes occur around me. 

This is What a Feminist Looks Like.

Don't be scared. 

Most people don't even understand the term: feminist. They only hear it and think bra burning, no make-up wearing, hairy-legged, lesbian. Because of course, to think women should be treated fairly in any sense of the word, would automatically mean same-sex tendencies. 

I mean, really?

Whatever. Anyway,  I'm reading a new book. Don't judge the title: Are Men Really Necessary? When Sexes Collide. I've just started it but so far, it's very cleverly written. She's very sarcastic and witty, which is great when it comes to this type of literature. Obviously, I think men are very necessary. I enjoy them. A lot..... Back to the book--This book, while it sounds like a man-bashing novel, so far, isn't so. It's more about women and who they've become in recent history in order to obtain "necessary men." 

I haven't read the whole thing, only started, so I am unable to give you a full review, but I wanted to give you a bit I laughed at last night: 

(She's talking about the three key books her mother had given her growing up: On Becoming a Woman, 365 Ways to Cook Hamburger and Other Ground Meats, and How to Catch and Hold a Man.)

"As a public service, I will reveal the six key axioms in How to Catch and Hold a Man for women who would be wives: 

-Do not make abrupt gestures of any kind.

-Men are fascinated by bright, shiny objects, by lots of curls, lots of hair (on the head), by bows, ribbons, ruffles and bright colors.

-If he has a girlfriend, try to become a good friend of hers.

-Sarcasm is dangerous. Avoid it altogether. It ruins the aura of softness, womanliness and kindness you should be attempting to create around yourself.

-Avoid saying a direct no and instead seek surroundings that make it difficult for him to approach you. Sit in a narrow armless chair or keep a lighted cigarette between you. 

-Keep thinking of yourself as a soft, mysterious cat. In order to get "the feline look," you must "stand relaxed, bend your knees slightly, tuck in your behind, pull in your stomach, relax your shoulders. For standing, adopt the position above, put one foot forward and rest your weight on the back foot. If this gets tiresome, put the other foot forward, always keeping your weight on the back foot."

...But with enough practice, and enough leopard-skin scarves, any woman can act as feline as a cat. And avoid sarcasm-- altogether (Dowd, 20-21). "

Thought you'd get a kick out of it too. 

Trash Talk, 101

Oh. My. God. 

Last night, while going to a party at the same apartment as last week's video game debate, I felt as if I was back in my true element. A few more girls there than last, therefore more conversational elements I cared for besides the screaming video gamers. A few more drinks were ingested than last, therefore making me laugh a little bit more and not sit in my irritability. However, neither of these two characteristics of what was a great night, compared to what truly took me back to a place I hadn't been in quite some time. 

Trash Talk. 

Didn't expect that one from Miss Classy Stiletto now did you? Well let me tell you friends, learn from the best. Because in a game of darts, trash talk is my specialty. In one particular year of college, I frequented the same bar almost daily with a particular "Princess" who would never be mistaken as a dart shark. Fortunate for us, not so much for our competition, dart sharks are what we learned to be. So the trash talk was thick in our circle of friendly competitors. And I loved every bit of it. 

But graduations come and go and new beginnings suck as usual. I found myself without company at said bar and therefore without reason to go. No company=No fun. So last night, when challenged on the Host's new dart board, I was more than excited to oblige. 

We're not going to talk about the three very close games I lost before I finally got the hang of it again and beat him, but oh was victory sweet. Turning around from your final "bulls" and whispering ever-so-lady-like, "Starting off quickly doesn't matter if you can't close the deal." Makes men come unglued. In case you were interested. 

While no free drinks had to be purchased for me after winning as was the case in that particular bar (probably a good thing last night, no extra drinks were needed for this one to stumble home), victory was just as glorious as I'd remembered. 

Nostalgia. I love it. 

Green with Envy? Since when?

Am I a jealous person? I've never considered myself to be. I was part of a long distance relationship for far too long to be jealous of other women being around Mr. Perfect. But while sitting in traffic on the way home from work this evening, I received a phone call from a certain "friend-boy" I told you that you'd be hearing about (the one I'm closer to than I probably should be). The sole purpose for this call was not to flaunt in my face that he has a hot date this weekend... or maybe it was? Nonetheless, I found that when I hung up, I was irritated by this very fact. 

I know, right? You're saying..."Now wait a minute, don't you live with your boyfriend? Weren't you just telling us you had been a part of said long term relationship and were pleasantly content?" Yes, to answer that, I do and I am. So am I jealous of a friend taking another woman out? Okay well before we get into this, let's review... give you a little background, if you will.  

"Friend-boy"... acts very smooth and charming such as Roxie's ever-so-pleasant friend "Sir Jerkoffalot." She referenced Rico Suave, I believe. So, we'll call "Friend-boy," Rico from now on. Still with me? Okay. 

Rico, while much nicer and more respectful than Roxie's "Sir Jerkoffalot," seems to have the same "Prince Charming player" thing going on. But while I know and have witnessed this side of him, he's different with me... for the most part.  All year long, it wouldn't be too much of an exaggeration to say he would do pretty much anything for me. Not to say he exactly worshipped the ground I walked on, but when I called, he was never far away. A girl can really get used to that kind of attention. Really get used to it... I digress. 

Anyway, so when I'm the only female he adores and runs to, you can see where I wouldn't want some other cheap hooker taking away attention that belongs to me, right? Does that make me jealous? I don't think so... Does that make me a spoiled bitch because I'm already receiving attention from my actual invested relationship and who am I to keep him from being happy elsewhere? Maybe. 

Don't judge me. 

I know I have nothing to be jealous of, nor do I have a right to be even the lightest shade of green with envy. Let's recall: Me= In happy relationship/Living with Mr. Perfect; Him= Single/Able to date girls... and play them as per usual the case. So what is this irritation? 

Classy's "inner attention-seeking bitch" coming out to say hello! 

Hey, Hi, Hello!

Good grief what a day...

Bill Cosby Says..

"Kids say the darndest things!"

My new job has introduced me to a completely new perspective in working with small children. I have recently taken on a new endeavor upon entering into an actual classroom. My first day was made up of shuffling them around, being asked 800 questions, learning lesson plan formats, sitting "criss-cross apple sauce," and trying not to laugh when children from various backgrounds, various household structures, and various cultures tried to size me up as the new teacher in town. It went a little something like this...

I walk into the room, little Suzie* immediately says "what's that on your titties?" (referring to my necklace) I laugh, answer her question, and can only imagine what's next. To my surprise, my answer was sufficient and she finds something else entertaining elsewhere. Then, little Johnny* comes up, asks my name about ten times again and again, then finds his spot on the carpet, grins and winks at me whenever I pay him attention from across the room. I can only expect for this day to get better... 

Biting, squealing, running, crying, and all other forms of chaos later, I'm exhausted and feel the beginning of what looks to be a lovely headache ahead. I've never met such... energetic children. And we'll say my experience working with children is fairly extensive. I don't know that anyone can be fully prepared for what I walked into. But I'm still there. And surprisingly enough, I found it fun and even enjoyable. There is something truly rewarding at the end of the day when they don't want to leave you or they're worried they won't see you the the following day. 

I have one little Suzie* who is Hispanic and what little she does speak is in Spanish, but she is absolutely the most beautiful little girl. Although there is never very much conversation between the two of us, her eyes light up and she runs to me when I walk in the room. It's the little things in life that make up for the chaos, right? Little things and strong beverages, but that's beside the point. She's my chaos anecdote. 

Well, her... and nap time. 

*Names of children have been changed to protect the wild and unruly*

Why Do You Hate Them So Much?

This new city living away from all I know has left me without my staple group of girlfriends.. Unfortunately, this means that when I want company other than myself and Mr. Perfect, I find myself with a group of his friends on any given night. Don't get me wrong, he has some really awesome friends.. I like the majority of them a lot. However, my Saturday night consisted of this:

UFC fighting (this I can handle, I grew up in a house with guys present a lot), crude jokes about women and sex (this I can also handle, like I said, been around guys all my life)--but.. then when I said, "No, Honey, I'm not bored, I'm fine.." they broke out the video games. 

Video games and I don't so much get along. Super Nintendo and I got along just fine... back in Elementary School. The Wii can also be entertaining at times for games such as bowling and the like, however.. The video games and systems that the boys play when I'm around are not so much entertaining to me. So, I apologize, but this will be a rant of said night and said video games. Often I get asked, "Why do you hate them so much?" So, I ask.. why would I hate them so much? I only sat and watched three "grown" men sit and scream obscenities at one another for their pseudo identities being shot at and killed. Why do they freak out when they're killed--two seconds later they're magically reincarnated! And thus the screaming begins again. This cycle goes on and on, sometimes for hours on end. The entire game consists of timed sessions of them running around various settings and killing one another. That's the game. The whole game. 

At least with Mario, there was an end of the level and a goal to reach. That's all I'm saying.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle, I know that. And I'm not trying to take away their juvenile entertainment.. I'm just in great need of my girlfriends. Sex and the City episodes are getting to me. I need my retail therapy partners and my lunch dates... and they're too far away from me. 

Oh the differences between male and female versions of a "fun Saturday night.." but I suppose that's an entirely different post for another day. 

Oh Monogamy!

Most girls wait and wait for a perfect monogamous relationship... and then... when that perfect one comes along... why does the grass always seem greener on the other side of the state line? 

I was one who waited and waited.. 

and waited..

and waited..

Then Mr. Perfect comes along with his fair share of flaws, but also his fair share of ways to steal my heart. Needless to say, quite a bit of time past now.. I can't really see my life without him. I'm fairly certain there isn't another out there who would treat me with the love and respect that he does. Example: Last night he came home from work, cooked a nice dinner for me that he'd thought out that day, watched the end of a Sex and the City episode (this is a big deal), took me out for ice cream, and came home to watch the Holiday, simply because I wanted to. Mind you, this is not an everyday thing, but it was a nice evening all about your's truly.

(Which will probably make some of you hate me after reading my next statement..sorry.) 

But what about those days when we long for something new and different, something wild and crazy, completely outside of our typical character? You know the kinds of nights I'm talking about.. we linger a bit too long with a charming and handsome close friend- of which I find I have too many of- late at night, we think twice about the guy supplying free drinks at the bar, we can't help but smile and wink at that one guy at the party paying us far too much attention... I mean, what's a girl to do, right? 

Best Friend (previously mentioned and yet to be nicknamed) and I have such conversations all the time.. we joke and laugh at our "misfortunes." She too has a long term boyfriend with whom she lives and she too has the same thoughts as I, all too often. The ironic part is, we both know we've got good things going, yet we both are entertained with thoughts of the aforementioned "greener grass." It's trouble... big trouble. Entertaining trouble... that we usually find ourselves in. We're young right? Right? Probably not a good excuse, but it's one I keep handy. I can almost promise you'll be hearing more of this as we get to know each other...

Oh, Life.