My Famous Person Encounter

So the other day I was at JoAnn's looking for some tote bags to give to our Primary teachers with their folders for the new year. Well I was walking about the store, when all of a sudden I saw a familiar face with a very familiar voice. I did a double take.

I thought, hmmmm, I know that person. Where do I know that person from? She looked at me and smiled as I tried to place where I knew her from. High School? No. Church? No. College? No.

And then it dawned on me, it was Brooke from American Idol. The cute little Mormom mom blondie. I about died!!!!

I went up to her and this is how our conversation went.

Me: You look totally familiar. When did you graduate?

Brooke: 2000

Me: Where did you go to high school?

Brooke: (confidential)

Me: Hmm. That isn't where I know you from. But you seriously look familiar. What stake are you in?

Brooke: ...... (confidential)

Me: Oh I know where I know you from. American Idol.

Brooke: (big smile)

Me: Yes. You are my biggest fan. I totally voted for you like EVERY week. You were so good. I can't believe Simon and Paula didn't think you were their total fave, and when you were voted off, I cried. I was so sad for you. Finally a cute little mormon mom with SOME PIPES and you didn't even win. How sad for you. What was it like meeting all those famous people? And seriously, Adam Lambert. Tell me about him!!!

Brooke: Yes people do recognize me because I am a little bit famous :). Simon and Paula were so great. Sometimes Simon was a little bit critical, like when I messed David Cook. He was awesome. His talent. Amazing. He could really put on a show. And David the other one....

Me: Wow that must have been soooo cool. So what is it like. Life after Idol. I mean what a rush. What a great and exciting time performing, going on tour, making CDs.

Brooke: Oh I do love being famous. It makes going out to places like JoAnn's with no makeup, a hat, and grungy clothes so much more fun. I try to figure out ways that people won't recognize me, but I do have a very distinctive voice. It is rare that people come up to me and aren't totally star struck or gawking. I don't mind it though.

Me: So are you like the Chorister at church? How are your kids and husband? What does your family think of all this? I bet it has been a rush. They must be so supportive.

Brooke: They are. Really.

Me: Wow, you sing, sew, and you play the piano. That is awesome. You are one amazing lady. What a great experience to have in your life to be a singer, to go on American Idol, to meet all those famous people and to be famous yourself. Wow. That is really cool. Oh btw, these are my girls. Aren't they adorable? Maybe someday your boys can date my girls and we could could be grandmas together. Or maybe we could just do lunch sometime. I always thought it would be fun to meet you. Ever since your audition, I just thought we would get along so good. And I was totally right, You are so easy to talk to. Well you have a nice day. I must be going now. :)

Ok I hope you got a kick out of that. The only part that was true was that I really did see her at JoAnn's, she was with her sisters and friend, and I was circling around the whole store trying not to yell at the top of my lungs that Brooke from American Idol was standing in line to get her fabric cut and would someone please HELP her? And then when I was done gawking, I went out to the parking lot to see what kind of car might be hers..... and then I wished that I had had my cell phone to call someone who cared or to take a picture from two isles away. :)

Anyway, just thought I would share.

Spirit of the Season

For the past few weeks I have really been trying to get into the Christmas season, but what I really want to do is curl up with a good book and a warm blanket and read my way through the holiday.

Last year it was really hard because it was Daxton's first Christmas in Heaven. However, we were surrounded by love and support and still in the "cocoon" of grief.

This year is a little different. It is his second year in Heaven. We have all the presents bought and wrapped and placed carefully under the Christmas tree. But something is missing. All the little boy toys, the cars, the trucks, the annoying bouncey balls and footballs, the tiny shoes and cute long sleeve button ups and polos.... all the things a little boy loves.

I look around at the little boys who are the same age as Daxton would be and sometimes my heart breaks into a million pieces. I know that it wasn't meant to be for Daxton to be here, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I have been to the store time and again, looking for the perfect flowers, the perfect item, the perfect arrangement to put on Daxton's grave. Alas, there is nothing good enough.

Last week on our long run we were just a mile away from where he lays. I wanted so badly to and run over to see him. But what I really want to do is put my arms around him, hold him, kiss him, squeeze him, feel his warm little body next to mine. Alas, it is not meant to be. Someday, just not today.

Tonight a friend asked me how I was doing this year. With Daxton gone. I am grateful for her. For her thoughtfulness. For remembering Daxton. And remembering it is hard.

Ode to the Torture!!!

Seriously.

Why oh why do my legs hurt?

Why oh why doest my booty hurt?

Why oh why can I barely standeth up?

Why oh why do I torture meself so?

I don't know.

But 18.5 miles? That deserves bragging rights.... but I don't even know if it is WORTH IT!!!!

I HURT FROM HEAD TO TOE AND BACK :)

Happy shopping. ONly a few more shopping days left!

This month is such a special one

This morning the girls crawled out of bed to get ready for school.

I said, "Do you know what today is?"

Mikenna says, "Gingerbread house making day!"

Savannah says, "Christmas!"

I say, "Kind of. It is Daddy's Birthday!"

And we all join in on the Happy Birthday song over Honey Comb cereal and combing of hair.

Today the love of my life is OLD. Like 33 or something. Who knows. After 30 why bother counting :).

Anywho. A big shout out to my husband who is my bestest friend, confidant, love, the one I live with, laugh with, cry with, get mad at, drag to the grocery store. The one who does my dishes, my mom's dishes. Folds my laundry (8 batches) AND puts it away. The one who loves me despite ALL my imperfections (albeit a few). I love you babe!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Isabella Break Dancing

Complements of my brothers.... who knows where they got their groove, but they decided to give Isabella some groove.

We used to do this with Daxton but sadly there isn't a video. So last weekend when my brother was home from Utah we made this video.

If it looks like Isabella is a little um well tired? It is because this was done at about 1130 pm. She was a trooper. But this is seriously HILARIOUS.

I am not smart enough to download this, but if you follow this link

CLICK HERE

You will be pleasantly entertained!!!!

FifTeEn MiLeS

Yes. 15 miles. I made it. I crazy. Who would EVER run 15 miles?

4 years ago when I ran the St. George Marathon I vowed that I would never do it again.... and here I am 4 years later. Eating. My. Words.

Sedona Marathon.... here I come!

Laughing at yourself

The last few days have been VERY looooonnnnnnnggggg. I will go into detail more about that later, but it consisted of very late nights, no early morning runs, scrapbooking, funeral planning, baby showers, bridal showers, and Christmas parties......

That being said, I was at the grocery store shopping for the said Christmas party and as I was paying, I ran my card through the credit card machine. I punched in my zip code and started to follow the directions.

I wanted cash back and the amounts shown were not what I wanted. So I selected "other."

This led me to the next screen where the options "$20" "$40" "$60" and "Oth" were shown. I looked up at the cashier and said (and I quote) "That is really funny twenty, fourty, sixty, and Zeroth. Huh."

He looked at me and using his serious-try-not-to-laugh-at-the-stupid-blonde-frumpy-mom-who-looked-like-she-had-been-through-a-car-wash face and said,

"Actually I think that means 'other'."

Oh dear. Time to go home, crawl into a nice warm bed, and go to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously about peed my pants I was laughing so hard! Good thing I haven't had 5 C SECTIONS or I might have.

Good night!

Bubbles Always Pop

After a particularly hard day I was talking to a friend via text. I told her that I would like to just go back into my little bubble where nothing bad happened to anybody and everything seemed perfect. her comment to me was:

"Bubbles always pop."

Interesting choice of words. Got me to thinking. She is right. Bubbles do always pop. And so do balloons. If they get too big or too small or too hot or too cold or touched by an object too sharp. They always pop. There is no such thing as a non popping bubble :) Are you following me? or you totally lost?

Point is, there is no such thing as a little bubble to live in. It just isn't possible. We all experience trials that "pop" our bubble or stretch us or force us to learn and grow. It is what we call life. It is how we become better people.

We may not enjoy the popping or the stretching or the trial, but inevitable it will come. We will have to endure trials we don't want to. We will have to endure unpleasant experiences. For without them, how could we appreciate the opposite? The joy, the love, the good. We wouldn't know the bitter from the sweet if sometimes we didn't taste the bitter or the sweet.

The past few days have been filled with tragedy for many families. There are so many people so close to me enduring the most excruciatingly hard trials. And yet, they persevere. They carry on. Because if we fall apart every time life gets hard, well we would always be falling apart. And where is the fun in that?

Too bad the bubbles that pop are sometimes bitter and NOT full of chocolate. Would make the hard ones easier to swallow.

Secret Santa

Last year for Thanksgiving, my mom's whole family (8 siblings and 40 grandkids) came to AZ to spend it with us at my aunt's house. We have a tradition of everyone going around in a circle and saying at least one thing that they are grateful for. Try as I may to avoid this tradition that was fairly painful, all I could muster up was I was grateful for eternal families. Then I said, "That's all I got."

Not a great attitude.... I know. But what could I expect? I was only about 4 months from the most heartbreaking, on my knees, cry in my pillow, can't get out of bed in the morning tragedy of my life. I am not going to say those days, weeks, or months don't happen anymore, but I have found more to be grateful for.

I am grateful this year for my husband. For what we have learned these last 16 months (has it been that long?) for how we have grown, together and separately. Of course I would have really liked to have learned in other ways, but this was the best way my Father in Heaven sees fit to teach me.

The past few months I have had inner struggles, trying to find deep down who I am, where I belong, and how I can become better. After any big trial in our lives, we look to what we are supposed to learn, what we have learned, and how we can apply what we have learned. Recently I have been asking myself some really tough questions. I hope one day to have those questions answered. By myself and my Father in Heaven.

This past week we were up north with Doug's family, for Thanksgiving, weddings, showers, you name it, we did it in 4 days. It was a whirlwind of a trip, but well worth it. While I admit not initially having a good attitude about it, I am grateful that we were able to spend the holiday with the Kunz's. It has been a long time.

Secret Santa? you might wonder the title of my post :). HOLD on. It is coming. Mom came to pick us up from the airport today and when we arrived in our driveway, we came upon this:

I nearly started bawling my eyes out. I haven't made it to the cemetery in awhile and have felt a little guilty about it. I just don't know how I can go to the store and pick out flowers and items that will look "good" on my baby's grave. Who does that? How is that right?

And so I have avoided it altogether. But when I saw his pictures in the tree with the blue ornaments, I knew he was being thought of, that I was being thought of. To know that there are those of you who are still thinking of my precious little one all these months later. Well. There. Are. No. Words. But thank you. Thank you so much.

Attitude is Everything

I don't suppose that anyone has ever done something that they didn't want to do, but knew that they had to do. And if you did do that said something you didn't want to do, I bet you did it with grace and poise. And if you haven't ever had to do something you didn't want to do, you are one lucky peep!

I have had lessons on this very thing, past, present, and likely in the future.

For instance, every other weekend I go into work. I actually love what I do (newborn intensive care unit nurse), but sometimes it is very hard to leave my girlies, and other times it is EASY :). However, I must go to work so I may as well have a good attitude about it.

Have you ever had a grouchy attitude about doing something you weren't super duper excited about? How did that make you feel? What about the people around you? I bet it was miserable for all parties involved.

I have learned that attitude is everything. This life is the time for trials, doing things we don't want to do, and learning from them. We can either have a good attitude about it and get on with it OR we can have a grouchy attitude and be miserable while making all those around us miserable.

Hopefully I can someday be able to have a good attitude about all the things I don't want to do.... until then :)!

Why do people call you?

Today I took a CPR class. This is what I do. I take CPR. I give CPR. At work.

Not daily, but occasionally.

Actually the last time I did the actual chest compressions and breaths it was a 60 year old man who went down in the elevator at work from a heart attack. He didn't make it. You know what I thought? I thought it was cool I got to do CPR. And why am I admitting this? Not sure.

I don't think it is cool anymore to give CPR. There is nothing cool about it. Nothing. Did you hear about the 11 months old the television fell on and she died? That. Was. Not. Cool. I gave that family a Daxton Box. It was awful. Really awful. Really. Really. Awful. Actually I didn't personally give it to the family. Too hard. But I gave it to the nurse with specific instructions on how to use it.

This is my trigger.

On my way home from my CPR class, my friend called me to tell me that she heard her baby's heartbeat. The little energy sucking embryo has a heart beat. I cried with her. See my friend has had 3 miscarriages, each one happening longer and longer into gestation. And she just picks herself up and moves on. With 3 boys, what are the options anyway :)?

She has a friend giving a talk in church who called her up and asked her, "Why do people call you?" I thought this an odd topic or question, but she explained the talk was on friends, why we have them, how they help us, what we have to offer them.... etc.

Got me to thinking.

After Daxton died, there were very few people I would call or talk to. Actually only one or two. You see when you lose a child, very few people you know have been through the same tragedy (and thank goodness) and they don't relate very well. But they try. And I am grateful.

With this particular friend, I would text her. When I couldn't muster up the energy I asked her to do things for me.

Now she lives 2.5 hours away, so these were "vicarious" acts. But she would do things like get out of bed for me, play with her kids for me, go get a diet coke and drink it for me, eat a bowl of ice cream with brownies for me, make cookies for me which were delivered via a sister in law, I actually was able to really eat them :), but most importantly, she would kiss her baby for me. She would hold him for me. She would love on him for me. She would dote on him for me.

These small acts were "code" for I am having a crappy day. HELP. For instance, if I was having a cryamony, I would text her "I need two diet cokes and please kiss Brooks for me" and she would know. And I would know. That somewhere she was doing something to think of me. To think of my little boy. And likely crying with me.

So in answer to her friend's question. THAT is why I call her. THAT is why I call my Annie.

TO hEaL a BroKen HeARt

How can each new day bring joy instead of sorrow?

How does life ever seem like it can have meaning again?

How can a broken heart be mended?

Isn't it obvious?

Stages

It is interesting in life how we go through stages. We learn, grow, laugh, cry, make new friends, lose old ones, stretch ourselves, and so much more.

I love the little stages that my children go through. I love the stages where they are at.

Kisserbella is 9 ½ months old. This is the FUNNEST stage. Everything is new to her. Everything around her is something to experiment, something to try, something to learn. She is like a sponge soaking up knowledge, inputting in her little brain everything she can. I love how she says ma ma ma or da da da. I love how she crawls around solely to follow me to see what I will do next.

I love to watch her play with the older girls stuff and then to see them get frustrated with her. I love her smile, her laugh, her clapping, when she learns something new. I love her cute little teeth that she plays with with her tongue all day (which I mistakenly think is a foreign object). 9 to 18 months is a fun time for me. It is right before they become too mobile and too curious and just after they are little babies. They develop personality and it sure shines through my Kisserbella.

I would be ok with this stage FOREVER. Actually I wouldn’t. Daxton will forever be this age to me and I don’t really want to pay that price again. So no I technically don’t want Kisserbella to be in this stage forever, although it is one of my faves.

Mikenna is doing math, reading, and learning how to be socially appropriate at school. She wants to please her teacher (and sometimes me) and she wants to make friends. She is kind of the big sister of the group and she enjoys that role. She is much like a little sponge soaking up all that she can. I can’t believe how grown up she is getting.

She is my helper, my rival, and my friend. It is fun to watch her personality bloom (or explode rather) to see what she will do next. She is my 6 year old going on 16 (I hear this isn’t that uncommon). She helps me around the house. She takes care of her sisters. This early childhood is really fun for me to watch. I get to teach her, reason with her, but heads with her, and find common ground where we can both come together and get along. I love to see her at school, answering questions, reading her books, helping the other students. I can’t believe how fast time has flown. I can’t believe she is gone all day from me.

Savannah is incredible. The other day I was at her school and she was in her element. She loves school. She loves everybody at school. She knows everybody by name. And they know her by name. She is the friendliest little mama I have ever seen. Sometimes it is scary. Sometimes it takes us 45 minutes in the grocery store instead of the 10 I wish it would, because she is talking to everybody. By the time we leave there isn’t a person we haven’t met and found out where they live, why they are at the store, what they are doing after the store, if they have a mom or dad (aka wife or husband), do they have a dog, what kind of dog it is, if they have children…. Well you get the picture.

She is learning to read. Did you get that? READ. I couldn’t believe it and I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. She knows how to READ. Ok we aren’t talking anything crazy, but was reading words like van, man, can…. For her teacher. It was incredible. Now I think that when she gets home all that information disappears from her brain, because she won’t FOR THE LOVE do it for me, but that is beside the point.

She knows how to navigate the computer. I never thought I would see the day when she would be able to handle a mouse by herself or READ!!!! I can’t believe how far she has come. She helps me with Kisserbella. ALWAYS making sure she has a clean diaper, clean clothes, and is fed. She even helps get her out of her crib in the morning (ya. I am sure that is one I DON’T want to see….), which btw I don’t necessarily approve, but the more I tell her she can’t do something…. The more she will. Sound familiar? NO J

I just can’t believe the many different stages they are all in and that they all go through. It is crazy how we can make a little person and then one day we wake up and they are big persons.

I hope that I can always remember (or at least today) that they aren’t little forever. This too will go on. They will get bigger. Time will pass. But I hope it goes slowly. I love being their mom. I love watching them grow. I can’t wait for the day when we are ALL together again, the day when I get to raise my little man. The day my family is whole again. The day my heart is whole again.

Family Fun Day

AKA: No School

Instead of yelling at my children all day long (which isn't uncommon. I know. Yer shocked) I decided to plan a few things for them to do.

I asked both of them what they wanted to do and we ended up making projects:

Perhaps this isn't my greatest work, but the fine motor skills and patience from my girls was uncanny. I was sooooo proud!

Going to the park.

Taking a nap.

Therapy, Music, and Reading.

Overall it was pretty fun and I didn't even yell too much at the kids.... although I must admit that I was grumpy when Doug got off work.

We have a new face in the house.

While we were singing to the music Mikenna is learning for her Let's Play Music class I was feeding Isabella in her high chair when she starts clapping. I thought that was odd since honestly I don't remember clapping "with" her.

However, I stopped for a moment and listened to the music. In between verses, there is clapping. And she was clapping appropriately (with the clapping that is.... just in case you were wondering if there was a clapping etiquette). I about died!!!! It was so funny.

I rewound the song and played it again (just to be sure my child prodigy really IS a child prodigy) and she began clapping AGAIN with the music. Seriously. Well as proof, I taped it. I doubt I will ever be smart enough to get it up on the blog, but if you know me well, don't forget to ask me to see it when you come over.

Let us NOT forget the 3 TWINS! I exchange babysitting with my aunt occasionally and the 3 TWINS, well they just get into TROUBLE!!!! But aren't they the cutest? And we really can call them the 3 twins because they all look the same "alike." :)

E.L.E.V.E.N miles

Yes folks. That says ELEVEN miles. Did I mention that those ELEVEN miles were run? Ok there was a little bit of walking involved because I was SO sick to my stomach (which by the way when I got home puked my guts out.... I know you TOTALLY wanted to know)

I can't believe we did ELEVEN miles. I know. I have done this amount before.... but it has been a REALLY long time. AND I wasn't nursing. AND I wasn't working. AND I didn't have a baby to wake me up in the wee hours of the morning.

BUT we did it. I can't believe it. AND I did it in THE.WRONG.SHOES. Seriously? For those runners out there, you know this leads to shin splints, knee injuries, foot injuries... Well I have had shin splints after our long runs lately and went to the running store to figure out what was the matter. I told the worker what shoe I was in, he looked at my feet and said, "Those are the LAST shoe I ever would have put you in." Apparently that means I am in the WRONG SHOE!

How can I be in the wrong shoe you ask? Well I went to two running company stores and they BOTH put me in this shoe. SO 5 years later. I am hoping to get into the RIGHT shoe so that my shin splints will go away. GRRRR!!!!!

My 3 WitCheS

I sure hope that you all had a Happy Halloween!!!

It is actually really hard for us to have ALL that candy at our house.... so this year we skipped trick or treating and headed to the cabin. Because if you can't trick or treat, you may as well have a PARTAY the cabin with Grandma!

I made this cape for Kisserbella and the bow. She is the CUTEST little witch I ever done see! Don't you agree? Even if you don't, say you do.

Unfortunately this was the best picture I could get of Savannah. She is such a turkey sometimes! IT was crazy hair day at school on Friday so I did 6 piggies with ribbons in their hair. It was more cute than crazy. Ain't it great to be CrAzY?

Doug took this of Mikenna. She said "Daddy, take it while I am doing this... and this... and this..." Oh boy. We are in trouble. Her latest thing is getting a little on the cranky side with me. Like for instance, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her and it had the chunky peanut butter. She about came unglued. I told her daddy did it. To which she replied, "oh." OH!!! OH!!! OH!!! WHAT? Are you KIDDING ME?

Then at the cabin I didn't pack her Halloween pants because I couldn't find them. I know shocking.... then she was mad that I didn't pack them (luckily I thought to bring her Halloween shirt on a whim no less). SO I being the VERY smart mommy that I am (I learn quickly) I said, "Oh daddy forgot to pack your pants. Sorry." And all was forgiven.... SERIOUSLY????

OK SERIOUSLY????

Mikenna and one of the two twins.

For our PARTAY, we had skeleton and brain dip. At first it sounded REALLY disgusting. My first thought trailed back to last year at work for our Halloween party somebody brought in grey jello from a brain mold. It was actually quite delicious.... but still. When I saw what it was, I thought it would be SUPER fun to have for dinner. SO here it is.

After I decided to do the skeleton and brain dip I googled Halloween recipes and came up with "witches fingers" (supposed to be a cookie, but I had already failed at the caramel apples and the "breadsticks" turned out to be more like bread loaves.... so I just put the red fingernail (red almond) on the bread loaf and called it good.) and these meatball eye balls. Hilarious. AND Mikenna wouldn't touch it for NOTHING.

Dad said it was all a bit more effort than he would have afforded, but it was fun for the girls.... I think. We then played musical chairs, ate popcorn balls, and did Halloween projects.

AND here are the two twins and Kisserbella. Aren't they FREAKING adorable? Ya I am not SUPER into Halloween, but we made it fun. AND now I must rest.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

A HaPpy LiFe

All around me I see the picture perfect families.

I go to the grocery store and see the cute little mom all done up with her 3 kids and their perfect hair, clean clothes, and of course stellar behavior. And of course I am there in my sweats, freshly washed (still wet) hair with my children who have long since pulled out their pony tails and look disheveled from their day at school.

I skip around to other blogs and see the picture-perfect-not-a-care-in-the-world-nothing-bad-ever-happens-to-me-families. And of course here I am, spewing the reality, not sugar coating (actually I am) my life all over the internet.

LOL!!!!!!! Isn't that funny? Ya. No.

Then last night as I was washing my face, I looked in the mirror (it was scary at best) and thought to myself. Wow. I am lucky. I am lucky because I have a house to live in. A modest one at best. Simple.

But I still have a house. With 4 walls. And people who love me who live in it. I have memories in my little house. I have children who are my world.

I have a car to get me from place to place. It might not be anything special to someone on the outside looking in, but it is special to me. It keeps us safe. And I don't really mind driving (who am I kidding. I. LOVE. IT)

I have good friends. Friends who listen to me. Who pluck my eyebrows, pick at my ingrown toe nails, give me a shoulder to lean on, bring me treats just when I need them, text me just to see how I am doing, call me just to say hi, pick up my kids from dance, exercise with me.... and so much more.

I have a good husband who does laundry, washes dishes, sweeps floors, bathes children, rocks babies to sleep, holds me when I cry, loves me no matter how many buttons I push.... and so much more.

This was a long look in the mirror and perhaps today I will blow dry my hair, put on some make up, and wear something other than leftover sweats I pulled from the dirty laundry..... then again maybe not :)

Moral of the story: I am grateful for what I do have and as long I don't dwell too long on what I don't have .... then I guess I can wait .... until someday.... when I do have.... all that I long for. Which isn't much.

Phonetically Speaking

We must first start with Kisserbella. OF course. Funny thought. Yesterday we were going to Costco and Mikenna likes to look at my phone. She has figured out the applications on my phone and knows how to get into the pictures. She says, "Mommy, there are a lot of picture of Isabella on your phone." Do you think she was implying that the 3 pics I have of her and Savannah combined and the 285 pics of Isabella are unfair? Maybe. :) But her are a few more... of the Kisserbella.




I know that everyone is doing parent teacher conferences. Oh what a great time of year..... well hopefully. We hope that our kids will succeed. We cheer them on. We work with them each day and night so that they will be successful in all that they do.

Yesterday we were at Mikenna's Let's play music class and she had to do a solo exercise. I was cheering her on in my mind, hoping against hope that she would do it correctly, but more important confidently. It was an interesting parenting moment for me. I am sure all the other moms were silently cheering their kids on, but I wasn't. Only I was cheering for Mikenna. (not that I wanted the other kids to mess up, I just have a vested interest in my daughter :))

Well anyhow, back to the point. I went to the girls parent teacher conferences. Savannah is doing VERY well. Behavior. Academically. Social. It is crazy. The teacher told me that they are even learning to read!!! I was floored! Savannah. Read? WOW! So she showed Savannah a few words from a book "ran" and "van" and she TOTALLY knew what they were!!!!! IT was AwEsOMe. I almost fell out of my chair I was so flabbergasted.

Then on to Mikenna's class. She is quite the social bug I am told. Need to work on that :). But when put on the spot becomes VERY shy. But who cares. I don't really like being put on the spot either. I know. Surprise. Anyway her teacher was explaining the importance of spelling. Did you know that in order for them to do algebra that they need to learn to spell phonetically before they spell correctly? Ya. I can't really wrap my brain around it, but now that you mention it I guess I can spell pretty good and while it only took me until 3rd semester Calculus, I finally learned algebra too. So maybe they are related?

Whatever.

I went into the playroom. Mikenna spends a lot of time there on the white board that we have hung on the wall. And on the white board I found this:

I am not sure what kind of a mother this makes me, but this was HiLaRIouS!!!!!! I just couldn't let it go unposted.

Mod Podge

Anybody know anything about Mod Podge? I want to Mod Podge sheet metal with scrapbook paper, but haven't a clue which one to use? They have indoor, outdoor, fabric, wood, etc.... and I am TOTALLY lost!!! Let me know which one works better on the metal surface.

Also..... If you know HOW to do it, please explain :) Do you glue down the paper with the mod podge and then mod podge over it?

HELP!!!!

MaNy MaNy WeDDiNgS

This year has been a year of new additions to our extended family. First of all Adam and Chelsea were married!!! Chelsea is a DOLL and we have had SO much fun getting to know her (my family members are NOTORIOUS for NOT bringing around the people they are DATING until they are 6 weeks from their WEDDING date.... don't worry I am not bitter :))

I digress.

WE love her! She is fun, witty, smart, and keeps Adam on his toes.Well these two have been married FOREVER!!!! But they are expecting...... A LITTLE BOY!!! We are so excited to have another baby grandson added to our growing brood (well MY growing brood anyway:))

Let us not forget Lauralie and Derek (sorry not a wedding picture to show.....) Although it turned out really great being outside in the Arizona heat in the MIDDLE of the SUMMER. We didn't sweat ALL our guts out, but we did lose some water weight :).

I digress again (don't laugh Jenny:)).

They are a very cute couple who enjoy being together and making each other laugh. They are actually a hoot to watch. Derek knows just what to say to Lauralie and it is usually the right thing. Lauralie has discovered that she REALLY can COOK and BAKE and she LOVES it. (I think)

Let us not forget the TURKISH Settler, that would be Doug's brother Burke and his bride Rachelle. For some reason, Doug saw fit to give each of his siblings a nick name that had absolutely NOTHING to do with their real names and well Burke ended up with Turkish Settler, Turke for short, like Burke, but with a "T." :)

I digress again.

We LOVE Rachelle. She is a darling girl with a magnetic personality. Her smile is infectious. And well she puts up with Burke and what more could we ask for. Right? Oh Burkey. I don't have a picture. Doug has them all on a CD somewhere. Will post when (and if) I find !

St. George AND the Marathon

We went to St. George a few weeks ago, so that my husband could run the marathon. Yes. You read correctly. That is 26.2 Miles, just in case you were wondering. The St. George marathon IS GORGEOUS!!! There are a ton of supporters and the scenery is AWESOME. And the company isn't bad either (thanks Don and Liline) (sorry grandma that we dragged you all over the place and made you walk 2 miles UP HILL) I am glad that we all survived it.

We (the girls and I) woke up around 7 to be out the door by 8 and pick up my cousin by 830. We then walked 2 miles UPHILL pushing a stroller with TWO flat tires (DUH!!!!) and we missed them at the 16 mile mark by like 2 minutes. GRRR!!! So we ran down the hill (ok we took the shuttle) and went to wait for them at mile 23 *we barely made it*, Then we went to the end (and missed them AGAIN by 2minutes) Owell. We met up at grandpa Walters house and there enjoyed stretching, gatorage, and HUGE pieces of bread.

Congrats babe! You. Are. My. Hero!!!!!!!

Thanks to my husband. I have the BUG!!! No I am not sick, well I suppose that depends on what you define as sick :). I have been running about 5 miles a day for about 2 months now (aside from the week my partner was sick and the week I was in Idaho) and when Doug finished the marathon, I was INSANELY JEALOUS. I know. You are shocked.

And then I caught the bug. I ran it by my partner (who was still thinking we would do a half 13.1: cake if you ask me :)) and she thought it would be "fun" or crazy to do the full marathon in Sedona. SOOOOOOO drum roll please..... we are going to do it. Feb. 6. After coming home from Idaho and a week off from running I picked back up again, ran 5 and then 2 days later ran 9!!! I haven't run that much in who knows how long.... and why would I? Well if you have the right timing, the right partner, and the right husband, all the chips fall where they may and you too can begin training :) oh and you need some motivation. LOL!!!! (yer dum)

I should blog

I should blog, but I don't even know where to start. And I am so exhausted I can't keep my eyes open any longer.

What we have been up to:
week long trip to Idaho
weekend in St Georgoe for Doug to do the marathon
a funeral
working
birthdays.

Will update later :) Hopefully tomorrow after I have NOT run 9 miles, like I did today :)

Mouse in Granny's House!!!

You may have been wondering where I have been (or not).... well we have been there and back and there and back again. I have been working in between and trying to keep the house in order. :) Will update later, but for now I must tell about the....

The Mouse In Granny's House

It was a beautiful fall day in October. All was noisy throughout the house, with cousin's giggles and squeals alike. Little boys and girls playing dress up, watching movies, stealing their chance at the nintendo while the boys were away....

When all of a sudden an uncle heard the "pat, pat." The sound of little paws passing on the tile. All the kids were playing and laughing together, but it was heard amidst all the clamboring.

Suddenly, tiny little squeals and cries came from around the wood stove.

Little noises, quiet as a mouse, trying to get out of a trap of sticky icky stuff.... When Uncle Colt looked around...... he found it!!!!!

Yes peoples. Isabella was that wittle mousey. I had a notion to go and look for her when I saw Doug coming down the hallway holding Isabella in outstretched hands, sticky icky stuff and all.

We tried with alcohol, soap, water, NOTHING WORKED. So Doug being the EVER so handy husband, googled it. When all else fails, GOOGLE works. Every time. Oil people. Veggie table oil. Smeared all over. Works like a charm. Even on the face. OOOOOOOOO so gross, but she is kissable again at last.

Keeping it SIMPLE

This was the visiting teaching message this month. I would like to share my favorite parts.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“Faithful members of the Church should be like oak trees and should extend deep roots into the fertile soil of the fundamental principles of the gospel. We should understand and live by the simple, basic truths and not complicate them. Our foundations should be solid and deep-rooted so we can withstand the winds of temptation, false doctrine, adversity, and the onslaught of the adversary without being swayed or uprooted. …

“Spiritual nourishment is just as important as a balanced diet to keep us strong and healthy. We nourish ourselves spiritually by partaking of the sacrament weekly, reading the scriptures daily, praying daily in personal and family prayer, and performing temple work regularly. Our spiritual strengths are like batteries; they need to be charged and frequently recharged” (“Deep Roots,” Ensign, Nov. 1994, 75).

The gospel is simple. Sometimes we as members make it more complicated that it needs to be and we find outselves questioning every corner and aspect of what we believe. We might also find ourselves so overwhelmed with everything that we are supposed to be doing.

Women especially. We are particularly hard on ourselves. We think we need to be everywhere, doing everything, and not just doing it but doing it perfectly. And we lose ourselves. We lose sight of what is most important. We make it too complicated.

My friends, if we just take a step back and uncomplicate our lives. Cut out the unneccessary daily time wasters and focus on what is most important we can accomplish this goal. The gospel is based on simple principles and doctrine. If we stick to those, our lives will be less complicated.

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“We must live the gospel in such a way that we will have the Spirit to ever be with us. If we live worthily, the Spirit will always be with us…. The reason we pray, study the scriptures, have good friends, and live the gospel through obedience to the commandments is so that when—not if, but when—the trials come, we are ready” (“Teaching by Faith,” Liahona, Sept. 2003, 10, 14–15; Ensign, Sept. 2003, 20, 24–25)

The Little Things What matter Mostest

Toilet paper.
Batteries.
A phone call.
A smile.
A night out with your spouse.
A night in with your spouse.
Snuggling with your baby.
Kisses from your little ones.
A child learning to read.
Another child "shaking her bootie" (yes, Savannah)
Waving good bye when your babies get on the bus.
"Where is mom?" when they walk through the door.
Dinner with your family.
Friends.
A job.
Ice cream.
Transportation.
Education.
Going to church on Sunday.
Playing games with your siblings.
Holding a newborn.
Getting up in the middle of the night to feed your newborn.
Finished and folded laundry (by someone other than you :))
A clean house.
Made beds.
A nap.
A LONG nap.
Sleeping in.
Waking up in the morning.
Going for a run.
Good conversation.
Nice people.
Sitting at the table doing homework with your kiddos.
Eating dinner and talking about your day with your kiddos.
Dessert.

Anything you might add? This is obviously NOT a comprehensive list...

A Day with Grandma

But First.... we have Kisserbella

MANIS and PEDIS

Seriously.... does it get better than this? I asked Mikenna if Aunt Lollie got a Pedicure and she said, "No (pointing to herself) she came to help with me and Savannah."

A little piece of Heaven

*****WARNING*****

Recipe SO rich it WILL make your eyes go cross-eyed


Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake Bars

by The Essential Chocolate Chip Cookbook

Crust
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
5 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2/3 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325°. Butter a 9″-square baking pan (*I used an 8x11 pan). Line pan with parchment paper, leaving enough to extend over the sides. Butter the parchment paper.
Combine graham cracker crumbs and butter until crumbs are moistened. Make sure you mix it well so that the crust isn't too crumbly. Stir in chocolate chips.

Press crust mixture into bottom of pan and 1 inch up sides. Bake for 6 minutes. Set pan on wire rack to cool.

Cookie Dough (you could cheat and use store bought dough here)
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
3 Tablespoons granulated sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Using an electric mixer , mix butter, brown sugar, sugar, salt, and vanilla extract at medium speed until smooth. Decrease mixer speed to low and add flour (Add a little at a time. You might not need all the flour. Just add it until the mixture sticks together). Mix just until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips. Set aside.

Filling
10 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Using an electric mixer, beat cream cheese and sugar just until smooth. Add egg and vanilla extract, beating just until blended.

Pour batter into baked crust. Drop cookie dough by teaspoonfuls over the top of the filling. It will seem like a lot of cookie dough but you want some in every piece.

Bake about 30 minutes at 325 degrees, or until set. Transfer to wire rack.

For chocolate topping, melt 1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips in a double boiler or in the microwave. *I think it's easier in the microwave. Put in a ziplock bag in a microwave safe bowl and cook for 30 seconds at a time, mixing within the bag after each interval. Snip off the corner of the bag and drizzle. Add about 1/2 tablespoon of butter if necessary to make chocolate smooth. Drizzle over top of bars.

Cool bars in pan completely, about an hour.

Using the edges of the parchment paper, remove bars from pan. Cut into bars, cool in the refrigerator and serve.

God DOES give us MORE than we CAN handle

Are you surprised? Do you think I am crazy? Have you ever thought of it that way? What do YOU think?

I honestly BELIEVE that God DOES give us MORE than we can handle. A LOT. I had this conversation with my running partner this morning (THANK GOODNESS FOR HER!!!) and while this is NOT a new thought I wanted to share with you all.

One thing that I have learned (and I have learned a few things) through Daxton's death is that God gives us more than we can handle. I mean honestly. He does. He stretches us. Not unlike training for a marathon. If we put in the work, do the short AND long runs faithfully and diligently then we will be able to finish the race with little to no injury. ON the other hand, if we just 'toy' with the idea of training for the marathon, we will inevitably end up with injuries and the race will be completed painfully or not at all.

And so it is with lessons learned from a loving Father in Heaven. We go on the 'short' runs. The said "easier" trials, if we are categorizing here. They stretch us a little bit more each and every one. But we get comfortable with those short runs and they become too easy. We are no longer sore, we no longer have the pain or the blisters, we no longer feel that daily reminder that we are running. Our breathing is easier, we can begin to go longer distances.

Then our Father in Heaven every once in awhile gives us the bigger ones, the harder ones. The ones that really put us to the test. The ones that test us. The ones that make or break our Faith in Him. The ones that if we truly learn from, we will come out stronger. And so it is with the 'long' runs. They are what help us to get through the marathon. The long runs test our endurance, our commitment. We become sore again. We struggle again. On mile 21, we ask ourselves why we ever decided to run the marathon. Why did we voluntarily sign up for this pain?

And so it is with our trials. We begin to question the Lord. Why do we get this said trial? What is there for us to learn? Why did we voluntarily sign up to come to this earth to suffer and endure? The answer is so that we can complete the marathon. SO that we can have eternal life. SO that we can live with our Father in Heaven again. SO that we can be strong in our challenges, in our faith, SO that one day we can be just like HIM.

So yes my friends. God gives us more than we can handle. Lets look at it this way, "God does NOT give us MORE than we can handle WITHOUT THE ENABLING POWER OF THE ATONEMENT."

Many of you might wonder what the enabling power of the atonement is. I took a class from Elder Bednar, formerly President Bednar at BYU Idaho. This is where I was first introduced to this topic. He describes the enabling power (and this is my own interpretation) as when we are are stretched as far as we can be stretched, the atonement reaches out and gives us the strength that we need to carry on.

I will give you an example. When Daxton died, I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually broken. There were some things I just could not do. I was doing the bare minimum to survive. I was lucky however. I had great friends and family. The enabling power of the atonement was all around me. Just when I thought I couldn't make dinner for my family, a friend brought it to me. Just when I thought I couldn't clean another moment, a friend came over and scrubbed my house top to bottom. Just when I thought I couldn't make it another day in my suffering "alone" the angels above sent me dear friends who knew what I was going through. When I thought that I couldn't stand another moment in my home without my little man crawling around, my family let me visit as often as I wanted and never complained about watching my girls when I truly felt like I could do it no longer.

That my friends is the enabling power of the atonement at its finest. Again, just when I was broken spiritually, brought to my knees, and humbled to the very core, it was confirmed that if I lived worthily of the blessings of Heaven above, I would someday be able to raise my little guy. I also took comfort in the arms of my Savior. He knows what I am going through. He is the ONLY one that KNOWS EXACTLY what I am feeling. I KNOW He is always there, that He will NEVER leave me alone, that He will be there for me in my loneliest hours.

Many of you struggle. Many of you have challenges. Many of you are not doing it alone. We can't do it alone. We have friends, family, blogs :), and church families that carry us through our most trying times. We are in this together. We are here to learn from one another.

God does NOT give us more than we can handle WITHOUT the enabling power of the atonement.

Wolverine

Surround Sound.

Projector.

Hugh. Jackman.

Need I say more?

I think not.

Canning

First things first. AREN'T THEY ADORABLE? This is picture day and since I KNOW that their school pics won't turn out.... I took these. SUPER cute. Savannah is a character as you can see in this pic. Her personality just shines right through her.

And then there is Mikenna. Too cute for words. She LOVES the camera and will pose most of time it is around. So here is her cute photo for the morning.

So the other day I decided that it would be fun to "can" because chicken was on sale for 1.57/lb and hamburger on sale for 1.58/lb the 93% lean!!!! I can't even get that at walmart for less than 3/lb.

I called my aunt :) and asked her what she was doing tomorrow (today) and she said nothing (ya right... she has twins) and I said ya all want to can 50 lbs of meet? She said there was nothing that she would rather do and would LOVE LOVE LOVE to can meats
.
Off to albertson's we went (trailing my 3 and her twins) to purchase 50 lbs of chicken and hamburger. SERIOUSLY? Yes I said 50 lbs. It was insane.

Today we spent the day from 830am to 530pm canning our purchases. It was a BLAST!!! Just imagine 4 babies under 11 months old and you can IMAGINE the fun we had! For reals!

A big shout out to Erica and Emily who tolerated a thousand phone calls. It was quite a day. And I am soooo glad it is over.

AND remember all the running I am doing? Yeah 4.7 miles a day for the last week just in case you were wondering..... (not bad for a frumpy mom who hasn't run in lets say um 2 years? mind over matter people) Well. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. My abs hurt (which I LOVE). My back hurts. And truth be told.... These hurt. Just take a look. I know TMI.

*****WARNING: what you are about to see may disgust you so just be forewarned!!!!

Food for Faith

Last Sunday was fast and testimony meeting in our sacrament meeting. Many people got up and bore their testimonies of being grateful for their trials, the power of prayer and healing, and fasting etc....

I sat there and thought about being grateful for my trials. NOPE!!! I am not. I can't yet say that I am thankful that I was in a car accident or that Daxton died and I am not grateful that my sweet little Savannah will forever struggle in her life. I am just not. However, I am grateful for Daxton. Maybe if I wasn't "willing" to have lost him, maybe I never would have had him. So if I look at it that way..... maybe I can be more grateful that at least I had him, even if but for a short time. And Savannah. If it meant I would never have had her without her struggles, then I am grateful at least I get to have her. I am not sure that makes sense.

ON to the fasting, prayer, and faith building experiences. I was talking with my running partner (yes peeps, I am running again, and a big shout out to my EVER PATIENT partner) this morning about Faith. The thought occurred to me the other day "Why do some babies get sick and die, and other babies get sick and get better?" Is it because the mothers of those babies who get sick and better have MORE faith than those who don't? ABSOLUTELY not!!! But this is really hard for me to wrap my brain around.... Why does God call some home and keep others here and how does HE decide? Again, I don't know. But it is on my list of questions :).

SO a very tearful woman stood up to bear her testimony about the fasting and prayers that were offered on behalf of her daughter that was very sick in the hospital and was now running around all over the place. I was grateful her story had a happy ending, but just over a month now, one of my friends lost her heart baby after a 6 month battle of faith and prayer and fasting. SO why did her baby have to die? Again. I don't know.

BUT something I realized after Daxton died was that I could lose all my Faith in God if I turned bitter and lost all faith. I prayed every night that my children would be safe while I was gone. Does this mean God doesn't answer prayers or that He loves me less? NO. I don't believe so.

In 2007, Elder Scott gave a talk about the power of prayer. That God answers our prayers according to His will and His plan for us. This is a tough pill for me to swallow. SO I made up a way that it was easier to wrap my brain around.

Think of a large umbrella with lots of people standing underneath it. The umbrella is God's will and plan for us. This umbrella represents OUR FAITH THAT GOD KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR US. All the people represent FAITH FROM THEIR OWN TRIALS. All the people are all those (including us) that have the faith building experiences whether fair to us in our mortal minds or not. Such as those who lose children, those who don't, those who lose their jobs, those who don't, those who divorce, those who don't etc.... We ask why others don't have the same losses as us or why we have to go through some experiences and other don't.

Sometimes the only way I can make it through a meeting such as this to use the umbrella of faith. That I have FAITH THAT GODS KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. I actually tried to explain this to Doug and he said oh ya, like God's will be done and not my will be done? OK yes. But I like the way it works in my brain better because I don't really like the above description.... for now. :)

Maybe I have totally lost you maybe not. But I just had to put those thoughts on to paper before they left :)

Snuggles

My kids are snugglers. I LOVE IT.... unless they are in my bed because they are also WILD sleepers.

Last night at around midnight, when I was getting ready to go to bed, Savannah comes totting in with a huge smile on her face, climbs up on MY pillow, grabs Doug's hand to snuggle and closes her eyes. YA. NO!!! She thinks that she is SO funny.

Then Isabella wakes up at 330 to eat. I am happy to oblige (I burn FREE calories :) this way). Just when I think she is asleep, I put her into her bed. TO this she STRONGLY disagrees and proceeds to scream and cry. I know. Shocking! She is too sweet to scream and cry. But that she DOES!! So I pick her up and immediately she cradles into my arms and well, frankly, it melts my heart. I then proceed to cuddle her in my bed. I know. I am a sucker for a good snuggle.

Mikenna loves for me to "lay" by her. I used to crawl up into her bed, but I told her I would break it so now I just lay to the side of her and hold her hand. This works out good for all of us. No need for the added exercise :).

I miss the days when I used to snuggle with little buddy. There were many a nights that I would sing to him while nursing him. He fit just perfectly in my arms with his chubby hands playing with my hair, getting his fingers caught. His little toesies sticking out and kicking my sides. I remember that even when I had had enough and put him in his bed I would put my hands through the bars and lay by him on the bed. I couldn't bare to leave the room with him still crying. And so we fell asleep together that way.

Now all I have are those memories. Now when I lay by him it is on the cold (or hot rather) grass on a dirty blanket with bugs crawling all over it. I miss him. It hurts. A lot.

Sometimes I can' t believe he died. Did it really happen? Is this really my reality? Did I really lose a child? This must be someone else's life, RIGHT? Wrong. It is mine. Isabella will never meet her older brother in this life. He will always be this abstract person in her mind. Sure. I can do what I can to keep his memory alive, but what kind of memories for her are going to the cemetery going to be......

Someday...... just not today.

(wow that turned out really depressing)

A Lesson on Love....or something

Yesterday in Sacrament Meeting the talks were on How we can show love to our spouse and our children. Both of the speakers did a phenomenal job. I would like to give my own thoughts and maybe sum up some of what they had to share.

The first speaker had previously asked her husband in what ways did he think she showed her love toward him. His reply surprised her when he said that he thought it was when she made his lunch and cooked his dinner. This answer surprised me as well, but there is also a lesson learned here too. The little things are what matter. It is the little daily things we do for our spouses that count. That they remember.

Another thought she shared was to find something that our spouses DON'T like to do.... and then do it for them. A caveat she added was if you DON'T like to do it either, then just do it once in awhile :) LOL. Like for me, I STRONGLY DISLIKE emptying the dishwasher. In fact, nothing else even compared to how much I dislike doing it. I don't know why. I would rather load the DIRTY dishes!!! SOOOO, my sweet husband has taken on the one chore I LOATHE. Every once in awhile, I will unload the dishwasher (ode to the day the girls can do it by themselves).

Another such chore would be taking out the trash. I like nothing more than FILLING it, because that means a clean house, BUT I really LOATHE taking out the gargage, especially the one in the garage with the dirty diapers. Once again, my husband has taken upon himself this chore, and every once in a LONG while I will do it for him. I am not sure if he shares in my LOATHING of these chores, but he continually does them for me.

We should also put our spouses first. Before our children. I have a hard time with this one because for the last 3 years I have had a baby or a toddler and truth be told, they scream louder than my husband and after caring for them all day and clinging to me, all I want is a little peace, time to myself, and then I CRASH on my pillow.... only to begin another day of neediness (which I really do LOVE by the way. Really). But sometimes my poor husband doesn't get all the attention he deserves.

It is important to remember that we were once madly, deeply, head over heels in love, can't see anything else but you kinda thing. (not that we aren't anymore, we just have 3 other people to look over now:)) And we need to continually nurture that love; spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

And that my friends is my soap box for the day. :)

***If you find yourself repeating this phrase... "If my spouse loved me, they would (do this, know this, see this) etc." You will FOREVER be dissappointed!!!! They don't know what you are thinking. They don't have mind reading skills. You MUST COMMUNICATE :)

***I also have listened to a great CD, it is by John Lund For all Eternity. SUPER good!!!

Activity Days

In our church there are different age groups that meet together to do different activities for service or development or fun. One particular group is the activity day girls. They age from 8 to 11. Today one of these groups, led by a great friend of mine, performed the greatest act of service.

About a month ago and old friend called me up and asked me if her group could make Daxton boxes for their activity. I was speechless, greatful, and excited to see what they would do. Over the last few weeks we have met together, talked on the phone, and emailed to hash out the details.

I met with the girls today and it was such a great experience. As I watched all of them come in, I felt their spirits. Each eager to learn, eager to serve, eager to do what had been asked of them. Their smiles brightened my day.

As I was introduced by my friend I had so much to say. I wanted to say just the right thing. I wanted to convey to the girls just how special the Daxton boxes were to me..... I stood up and introduced myself and then proceeded to tell the girls about the Daxton box, the eagle project, and the ongoing donations we have been able to receive in order to help other families just a little bit.

I really didn't want to stand up there a blubbering mess and have them only remember the lady with the squeaky voice that they could barely understand, so I choked down my tears and told them my story. A hum of "ahs" was heard when I told them my little angel had passed away. It was actually really sweet. I told them about each of the items they were going to make and why they were in the Daxton box.

I hope that it was what my friend wanted. I wanted to convey how grateful I was that they were doing this for me and what it meant for other mommies and daddies who had lost their babies and that they were helping them in a small way that no one else could. I hope it was everything she wanted because I know that she has put a lot of effort into this project..... as I know the work that goes into it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH DONNA. YOU ARE TRULY AN ANGEL. And a big thank you to all the many hands that made this activity day a great success.

As Requested

...... I didn't say it was easy ! ENJOY and GOOD LUCK

Samoas Cupcakes

Brown Sugar Butter Cupcakes

24 regular cupcakes / 350 degree oven

3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature

1 1/2 cup light brown sugar

4 large eggs, room temperature

2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

2 teaspoon vanilla

1. Beat butter on high until soft, about 30 seconds.
2. Add sugar. Beat on medium-high until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.
3. Add eggs one at a time, beat for 30 seconds after each.
4. Whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
5. Measure out milk and vanilla together.
6. Add about a fourth of the flour to the butter/sugar mixture and beat to combine.
7. Add about one third the milk/vanilla mixture and beat until combined.
8. Repeat above, alternating flour and milk and ending with the flour mixture.
9. Scoop into cupcake papers about half to three-quarters full.
10. Bake for 20-22 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.

Toasted Coconut Topping

2 eggs

10 ounces evaporated milk

1-1/3 cup sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter

3 cups shredded, sweet coconut

1. Spread the coconut onto a sheet pan. Toast in a 350 degree oven, stirring frequently to prevent burning, until the coconut is an even brown color, about 10 minutes.
2. Crack the eggs into a small saucepan and beat lightly to break up.
3. Add milk, sugar, and butter. Cook, stirring constantly, over medium heat until thick, bubbly, and golden, about 15 minutes.
4. Press mixture through a metal sieve and into a bowl to remove any lumps.
5. Add 2 cups of the coconut, reserving the remainder for assembly, stir to combine.
6. Let the mixture cool.

Caramel

1/2 cup water

2 cup sugar

4 tablespoons light corn syrup

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoon butter

1. Combine the water, sugar, and the corn syrup in a deep saucepan and cook over medium heat.
2. Stir together with a wooden spoon until the sugar is incorporated.
3. Cover the saucepan and let it cook over medium heat for 3 minutes.
4. After 3 minutes, remove the lid, increase the heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil.
5. Do not stir from this point on, but it is important to carefully shake the pan so that one area of the caramel doesn’t burn.
6. Continue to cook until the caramel turns an even amber color then remove from the heat and let stand for about 30 seconds.
7. *** This is the dangerous part *** Pour the heavy cream into the mixture. Wear oven mitts, stand away from the pan, and be careful. The mixture will bubble up significantly.
8. Stir the mixture, again being careful. Add the butter and stir until combined.
9. Transfer to a small bowl and set aside to cool.

Note: You will have leftover caramel, it stores well refrigerated in an airtight container for about a month.

Chocolate Ganache

16 ounces bittersweet chocolate like Valrhona 61% cocao

2 cup heavy cream

2 teaspoon vanilla

1. Chop chocolate and transfer into a heat proof bowl.
2. Heat cream until bubbles form around the edge of the pan, pour cream over the chocolate.
3. Let sit for 1 minute then stir until combined.
4. Add vanilla and stir until combined.
5. Let cool to room temperature.

Assemble

1. Using a small pairing knife, cut off the top of the cupcake in the shape of a cone. Flip the top over and cut off the cone.
2. Fill the cavity with a teaspoon of caramel.
3. Replace the top of the cone.
4. Smooth on a light coating of chocolate ganache.
5. Refrigerate for about 15 minutes to harden the ganache.
6. With your hands, press out a disk of the coconut topping and place on top of the cupcake. Press to shape the mixture into a dome.
7. Press in some more plain toasted coconut on top of that.
8. Drizzle the top with lines of ganache. Note that you may have to warm the ganache over a water bath to get it to drizzling consistency.