The Bay Leaf Condition

[Note bene: I wrote this in early November and found it today while looking through my drafts. I don't know why I never posted it. Anyway, ta da!]

After President Uchtdorf's wonderful remarks at the Relief Society Broadcast, the Parable of the Bay Leaf has become a household topic. In it, he describes his wife's ability to create wonderful and delicious meals, beautifully presented; but that she consistantly punctuates the creation with a comment such as, “I’m afraid I used a touch too much ginger,” or, “Next time, I think it would be better if I used a little more curry and one additional bay leaf.”

President Uchtdorf points out that as women, we may not appreciate the value of what we do in the world and more importantly who we are. These 'bay leaf' comments, while showing a desire to improve and create goodness and "perfection", may also clue us in to the fact that our focus is on a tiny fraction of the scene.

Enough with the generalizations.

I do this. Since my husband has pointed it out, I am amazed how frequently it occurs.

An example: I busted my butt making homemade whole-wheat bread sticks for a ward party. I juggled it between Nathanael's nap, picking up yeast when I discovered we were out, and the Halloween event that afternoon. I ran to and fro, keeping my perspective, and enjoying Nathanael all throughout the day. We finally were sitting at the party chatting and eating and I got my first bite. I said, "Oh! Next time I need to let them raise longer. It is so dense!"

Now, this was after several people had already complemented me and Nathanael was halfway through his (the ultimate complement). Michael pointed out my comment (in light of the bay leaf) and I was so surprised! I didn't even notice.

It is now becoming part of my personal culture to say things like, "Wow. I did a really great job on this!" And then I bite my tongue when I want to add my bay leaf comment.

I realize that our public culture doesn't allow for this type of comment. It doesn't expect it. And it doesn't fit into the model of self-depreciation as humility that we frequently buy into. But as I have trusted and taken the step to believe in myself--enough to verbalize it--I have felt peace.

Stroller Giveaway

Well friends, I'm caving in. I'm posting about a giveaway simply in order to have a better chance (10 extra chances) to win it. Although there are 790 comments already and the contest doesn't close until next Friday, you will see that this has not stopped me.

So here's the fabulous item:



Wish me luck my friends.

Video for Grandma