Dear Sydney,

An update for you and all of your dedicated readers is definitely overdue. But, after this post I think it is time to say, farewell! Of course, I will leave this blog up for any readers who want to read past posts but I will no longer be updating it unless there is a need to do so. This blog has served it's marvelous and inspired purpose for me and hopefully for you, Sydney. I truly needed some form of an outlet during all of your doctor's appointments and your big surgery. Your blog allowed me to express my concerns and joys and helped me clear my head when things were getting to be too much. I hope that this blog also allows you to see how many people exercized their faith in your behalf. I hope you can come to understand, as I have, that your life was spared for a reason. You have a great work to do on this earth. "God must want your heart to be beating" is what your surgeon told me afterwards. I believe that wholeheartedly.

Sydney, I need you to know that God is real. He is aware of each of us individually. He will never leave you alone- even in your darkest hours. I believe that it is during those times, that He is closest to you. You just have to let Him in.

I often wonder why it is that I find myself thinking about your heart defect and the trials that came along with it so frequently. Why is it that there are times when I feel like that is all I can talk about? It has got to get annoying to some people, I know. But the answer as to why is so very clear to me. What we went through with you literally changed me. I firmly believe that I am a different person than I was a year ago. I attribute that to the spirit and the things that it taught me along the way. I cannot deny that God and his angels were with me throughout that whole process. I was wrapped in the arms of his love and without that- I think I would have crumbled to pieces. Not only did I feel of heavenly angels but there were people who came into my life at that time that I will always consider to be my angels. They may have been people whom I have known all my life or people I had met within the past few years or within the past 4 months. Regardless, they were answers to my prayers and were exactly what I needed.

Someone once taught me to always strive to be someone else's angel. Whether you work to be your spouse's angel, your sibling's, your best friend's, or your neighbor's- we should always be looking for someone that needs our help. I promise to my best at being someone else's angel because so many people were that for you, me, and your dad. Be someone else's angel, Sydney. Somehow, when you do so, life becomes sweeter and not quite so hard. That's one of the things I learned from this whole thing.

You went to the cardiologist in the beginning of December. When I walked you into the Dr's office, Dr. Womack began to laugh. He couldn't believe how much you had grown. He commented on your chubby thighs and your rubberband wrists and how last time he saw you, you had neither of those things. He said that surgery's like this one don't always turn out the way they would hope but if there was an example of what they aim for, you are it. You have made a full and complete recovery with no other issues. He gave you the OK to not come back to see him for a full year! Amazing. My buttons were bursting and I was fighting back the tears the entire time. His words were like music to my ears and peace to my heart. Way to go, Syd!

Anyways, that is all. I love you Sydney. You have taught me so much in your young life.

Love Forever and Always, No matter what,

Mom

Dear Sydney,

A little update for you. You went to the pediatrician on Tuesday and here are your stats:

Weight: 16 lbs. 7 oz. (45 percentile)

Height: 26 inches (40 percentile)

Head: 44 1/2 cm. (80 percentile)

You are getting bigger and so is your head! The dr.'s always plot the progress you've made (as far as weight and growth is concerned) on a chart. Most baby's curve looks like a steady and gradual upward-slanted line. Yours, however, is a straight line going from top to bottom. I would sure hope so considering where you used to be and where you are now!

I followed my friend's lead (Alisha Balukoff) and made you a dress. Thanks Alisha for the inspiration! It's not all the way finished yet because I still have to hem the bottom but here you are looking so cute!

The other night your Aunt Heather was holding you. She took your tights off your legs and put them on your head. I had to snap a picture. As Sam would say, "Heather is so embarrassing!"

Your cousins came in town for Thanksgiving. Sara, Luke, and Ashley. Now that they live much closer to Idaho they were able to make the drive for the holiday. Sara loves you and can't seem to get enough of you. You two could play all day if we had the time for it. She loves to get you to laugh and pant like a dog. Panting is everyone's favorite trick that you have. I will admit, it's pretty funny.

You are so fun to have around. You keep us laughing. We love you.

Love, Mom

Dear Sydney,
After much deliberation...I am not going to make your blog private. For various reasons I want to leave it open for any reader. So, there you have it. Any reader is still welcome to read!



Your first halloween was a hit! Though you didn't do any trick-or-treating we still had fun. You were a witch! And a cute witch at that! As you can see from your 6 month picture at the right you couldn't possibly be any cuter. You are beginning to learn all sorts of new tricks these days.
Standing on your own (as long as there is a wall behind you to hold you up.)
Sitting up all by yourself.

Eating oatmeal, sweet potatoes, applesauce, pear sauce.
I have learned that you HATE pureed bananas. You must be my daughter because I don't like them either. :)

You hate to be on your tummy.
I think you have only rolled about 3 times in your life. So basically, you aren't in too big of a hurry to become mobile which is fine with me!

You now weigh 15 lbs! Yes, there was a time when I thought we'd never see the day (or at least I thought it was going to be a very LONG ways away.) I also made you a shirt. I have been wanting to do it for a while and now that I have all this spare time I thought, why not? Here you are modeling your new little t-shirt:




Yep. No one can mess with your heart. Especially boys. :) Because if they do, I think there would be a lot of people who would be willing to do some serious damage. Ha ha. I had a lady tell me at the store the other day that I needed to teach you how to use a bat so you could keep all the boys away when you get older. I don't think it's a bad idea.



I love you, little girl.
Love, Mom

Going Private!

Now that most people know about this blog I feel like it's ok for me to go private with it. So get me your email addresses by wednesday! Thanks!

Dear Sydney,
I am having a moment today and I decided that I just needed to sit down and write about it. Every now and then, I think back on how hard life was for me, you, and Dad before your surgery. And when I think about it- I get a little teary eyed.

There is something that I have been wanting to share with you but I have been debating whether or not to write it on the blog. It is something that is very personal to me and I hold it very near to my heart. But today I decided I would write about it.

I would consider the night before your surgery to be my darkest hour of my life. I cannot think of another time when I have been so afraid. It was almost as if I was afraid to breathe because I knew that every breath brought us closer to your surgery. There was a constant prayer in my heart. I knew that God would not give us any trial that we cannot handle. That was something that I had to remind myself of repeatedly. I can remember looking at you as I was putting your pajamas on that night and wondering if you would be around for me to do the same the next night. (Gosh just thinking about this again is making me sob.)I prayed and prayed that I would be able to hold you again. In the past I had received small confirmations and feelings here and there that told me you would live. I clung to those confirmations with all I had. But being the non-perfect person that I am...one feeling or whisper of the spirit was not enough for me. It wasn't long before I would ask God to tell me again that you would be ok. The night before your surgery was no exception to my imperfections. I needed to know, again, that you were going to make it through this daunting surgery because I felt like I was suffocating in fear.

I have an older brother who passed away at the tender age of 7 months. His diagnosis was SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). It is because of him that I believe in angels. I know that God's angels are sent to watch over and care for the ones who still reside here on earth. I have felt him close to me many of times and I know that he watches over his family.

Well, that night we went to bed. You slept with us because I couldn't stand to have you away from me. When I woke up my thoughts and heart immediately went straight to a prayer. I sat up to get out of bed but something stopped me. I then felt as though heavenly, angelic arms were being wrapped around my body. Nothing has felt so real to me and nothing spoke to my heart the way it did at that moment. I felt warm and comforted. I felt my brother. From that time on, I knew, I absolutely knew, that you would be ok. You were going to make it. And I would hold you again. I would put your pajamas on you again. I would see your smile, hear your laugh, and watch you grow. That was all I needed. I could now go through the rest of the day and know you were going to come out fighting.

Now some of you may call me crazy and say that these types of experiences are not possible but I am here to tell you that they are. God hears us. He loves his little children and he loves his bigger children too! :) God only gives us trials to make us stronger and to bring us closer to Him.

I look back on that experience with gratitude because it has taught me a great amount. Prayers are heard and answered.

All my love,
Mom

Dear Sydney,
It has been so long since I last wrote on your blog. But now that your surgery is over, my thoughts and emotions aren't running around like crazy so writing has been put on the back burner...which I am sad about. I will do better.

It has now been 7 weeks since your surgery. Every day I am grateful that your surgery is in the past and no longer in the future. In our family prayers every night we always express our gratitude for your good health and your new heart. How lucky we are.

You went to the Dr. today for your 4 month check-up. Yes, yes, I know...you are 5 1/2months old. But there was a method to the madness. The cardiologist said that you weren't allowed to have any immunizations for 6 weeks before and after your surgery so we had to delay your 4 month check-up because you were supposed to get a few immunizations. Anyways...you are now in the 25th percentile for weight (which is incredible because before your surgery you were only in the 3rd percentile), the 25 percentile for height, and 75th percentile for your head! Ha ha...I thought your head was growing. It just goes to prove that it actually was! But it's ok Syd. Everyone on my side of the family has a big head too including me. So don't worry. People with big heads turn out all right. :) Oh and I failed to mention that you now weigh 13 lbs. 9 oz. Woo hoo!

I wish I had pictures to show of you. But the battery to the camera is dead and the battery charger is still in a box somewhere that I am yet to locate. But don't worry...you're still cute. In fact I think you have gotten cuter since your last photo-op.

Last weekend you spent time in Seattle with the Moon side of the family. We had so much fun. You met your cousin Chyanne for the first time and we discovered that you two have the same feet. Hopefully those feet treat both of you well. You can thank your Dad for those tootsies of yours!

Your sleeping is slowly improving. You probably wake up about every 2 hours now. It's better than every half-hour so we are not complaining. The other morning I woke up to you in our bed. I assumed your Dad put you there. Well- he assumed that I put you there. So really, we're not sure how you got in our bed. We were both so tired neither of us remember what happened that night.We don't even know who fed you in the middle of the night. At least we are all alive and well. Hopefully we won't have anymore of those kinds of nights. Oops.

We love you. You are our joy and bring so much laughter into our lives. I've missed writing to you. I'll do better.

Love always, Mom

Dear Sydney,
Today marks your 4-weeks-ago-you-had-heart-surgery day. 4 weeks! Can you believe it?! Yesterday was your first day off of all your medicines. You have been on medicine for almost your whole life so this is a big moment for us! For a while there, I was feeling like I was running a mini pharmacy right out of my mom's kitchen. It's just good to know that your body is now healthy enough to do things on its own.

Over the weekend we went up to Donnelly, ID and spent some time with the Hessing side of the family. We had so much fun. You had your first 4-wheeler ride which you obviously loved because it was always only a matter of seconds before you fell fast asleep. Maybe your Dad and I need to invest in a 4-wheeler in order to keep you asleep at nights. Ha. Right.







I do have to say, however, that your sleeping habits are getting better. Two nights ago you only woke up twice! We couldn't believe it! Last night wasn't as good but I am thinking that every week will get better and better. This may sound a little odd but I am grateful that I am complaining about how you don't sleep. You used to sleep too much and it was so hard to watch but now you have no interest in sleeping. Your little body just has so much energy now. So, this is a good thing. I just hope you get back into a regular schedule soon.

You rolled over for the very first time on Friday! We were so proud of you. You went from your back to your tummy. The only problem you had was trying to figure out how to get your arm out from underneath you. You haven't rolled since then but I'm sure it will become more and more frequent.

Yesterday afternoon I gave you a bath. After I got you all wrapped up in your towel I set you in your swing while I went upstairs to get your clothes. I turned on the TV to give you something to look at. Star Wars was on. You were captivated. Your Dad and Grandpa Moon would be so proud. :) It didn't take much longer though and you were asleep. You looked too funny to not take a few pictures...





Last night was the Boise State game. We had you all dressed up and you looked so cute! Your Aunt Mollie made you a really cute Boise State hair bow that matched Claire's. So you two were lookin' good with your bald heads and huge bows.





So, there's your update. You are doing so good. We're getting to the point where we can hold you underneath your armpits now. We couldn't do it for a long time because your chest bone was still trying to heal. I am loving that I can treat you like a normal baby more and more everyday.



We love you so much!
Love, Mom